Part Twenty Four
Karen tossed and turned for most of the night, slipping in and out of dreams of hands coming out of nowhere to hold her down and of offices stroon with scattered papers and discarded buttons. When Yvonne brought her a cup of tea at around seven the next morning, Karen was relieved not to have to go back to sleep. As she turned over and sat up, her bruises which had stiffened over night complained. When Yvonne saw her whince, she put the tea down on the bedside table and said,
"Are you okay?"
"Just bruises," Mumbled Karen. Yvonne looked at the dark circles under her eyes, clearly the result of a very disturbed night.
"How do you feel?" Asked Yvonne, again hating the so innocuous phrase because Karen couldn't possibly feel anything but hurt and betrayed.
"I feel like my ribs have been trampled by a herd of elephants and that my insides have been torn to shreds." Yvonne resisted the urge to whince. Then Karen paled. "Oh god," She said. "My office."
"What about your office?" Asked Yvonne, trying to calm her down.
"It'll look an absolute state. There were papers everywhere. He pushed everything off my desk to..." She couldn't continue, couldn't put in to words what Jim Fenner had actually done to her. Karen tried to prevent herself from crying, but her willpower just wasn't strong enough. Yvonne gently put her arms round Karen and held her whilst the shuddering sobs took over.
"I'm sorry," Karen gasped after a while. Yvonne rubbed her back.
"You've got nothing to be sorry for. You know this is probably only the start don't you?" Karen's slightly rueful,
"Oh yeah," held all the resigned finality of someone destined for only further torment. Yvonne looked at Karen's tired, bruised face.
"What are you going to do today?" She asked.
"I'll have to go in to work. I've got to sort my office out before one of the Julies takes in the hoover."
"Do you want me to do that?" Asked Yvonne, thinking that it probably wouldn't do Karen any good seeing the devastation of the night before. At Karen's slightly guarded look Yvonne said, "I don't mind, really."
"If you're sure?" Karen asked hesitantly, somehow unable to believe that someone really cared about lessening her painful burden.
"Of course I'm sure," Said Yvonne. "Why not try and go back to sleep. I'll let them know you won't be in today. I'll say it's food poisoning or something. I'll come and see you at lunchtime." Then the panicked look returned to Karen's face.
"What about my car? Someone will see it. Oh god, and there's Mike. How the hell do I tell him something like this." Yvonne dreaded the outcome of her next question, but the sheer pain in Karen's eyes compelled her to do it.
"Do you want me to tell him?" She asked quietly.
"Yvonne, I can't ask you to do that."
"But it would make it a bit easier, wouldn't it." This was a rhetorical question as they both knew it would. Then Karen asked,
"Yvonne, was this my fault?" Yvonne's reply of
"You what?" Cut the atmosphere like a knife.
"Did he do this, just because I wouldn't listen to him? That's what he said last night. He said that everything had always been on my terms." Yvonne tried to rein in her anger of how Fenner had managed to totally crumble any faith Karen had in herself.
"Karen, listen to me. Everything wasn't always on your terms. Him sending those pictures of you to the Sun wasn't on your terms, and what he did to you last night didn't even come close. This is absolutely not your fault. You can't blame yourself for what Fenner did to you."
"I just wish it was all that easy," Karen said, her voice taking on more self-reproach than Yvonne had ever heard.
It was a while before eight o'clock when Yvonne let herself in to the office building. She was relieved to find that so far, all was quiet. Dreading what she might find, she walked upstairs to Karen's office. The door was shut but not locked. Walking in and switching on the light, she just stood and stared. Not far from the dorr, lay Karen's handbag, the contents having been stroon all over the floor. Yvonne collected everything that appeared to belong there together. When she looked at the devestation of the desk, a wave of anger engulfed her. How could Fenner have done this. She began picking up papers, pens and numerous blouse buttons. Once the office again looked vaguely habitable, Yvonne sat down behind the desk and began sorting out the piles of proofs. This was no easy task, but having done it for years, it didn't require too much concentration. At about eight thirty, Mike appeared. He put his head around the door, expecting to see Karen.
"Oh, hello, what're you doing here?" Hearing his voice, Yvonne looked up. Mike must have seen something forbidding in her face because he walked over and looked at her.
"Yvonne, what's happened? Where's Karen?" Yvonne stood up and walked out of the office, followed by Mike. Seeing Barbara arrive, she called,
"Babs, please could you make us some coffee?" She gestured to Mike. Barbara, though slightly surprised at being asked something before she'd even reached her desk, also must have seen that something was very different about this morning because she agreed without question. Yvonne led Mike in to her own office and they sat down.
"What the hell's going on?" Mike asked, more worried than she'd ever seen him.
"Mike, i've got something to tell you. Karen almost certainly won't be in work today. Right now, she's hopefully asleep at my house. You know that she was working late last night?"
"Of course I do."
"Well, when she tried to leave," Yvonne took a deep breath. "Someone attacked her."
"What, you mean in the carpark?"
"No, she was attacked here, in her office."
"That's why you were sorting out all her papers. What exactly happened?"
"I'm sorry," Said Yvonne, "I'm not very good at giving people bad news. She was raped." There was utter silence for a good five minutes. The only thing to break it was Barbara's arrival with the coffee. Mike took a long swallow.
"Who?" Was all he could bring himself to say. Yvonne simply gave him a look that clearly said, who the hell do you think it was. "Fenner." Yvonne nodded. "I'll kill him," was Mike's only response.
"Don't be bloody stupid," Yvonne almost shouted. "Do you really think the best way to help Karen is to broadcast this to the entire office?"
"It'll end up being pretty much public knowledge anyway if she goes to the police about it."
"She isn't going to the police. At least she wasn't planning on it the last time I saw her."
"But she has too."
"No, she doesn't," Admonished Yvonne. "don't you realise? This has to be her decision. What happened to her last night took every last bit of control away from her. You can't force her in to another major decision just because you think it's right."
"Should I go and see her?"
"I'd leave it till tonight or tomorrow. She's only just beginning to realise what's happened to her. It's going to take a very long time before she can even think of coming to terms with it. What Fenner did was only the beginning. She's now got to try and put herself back together, and to do that she's going to need space."
At around eleven thirty that morning, Yvonne couldn't take any more. She walked downstairs, handed Cassie the notes she'd made at the antiques auction the night before, announced to both her juniors and to anyone else who cared to listen, that she would be out of the office for the rest of the day.
"Do you think you can cope without me?" She asked Cassie.
"I should think so," Cassie answered. "And if Alex over there can't, it's about time he learnt." Yvonne collected karen's handbag from her office, and drove home in Karen's car. Yvonne liked the silver-grey Nissan, it was expensive without shouting it from the rooftops perhaps like Yvonne's Merc did on occasions. First, she called round at Karen's to pick up some clothes for her. When she reached home, Karen was wearing Yvonne's dressing-gown and making herself a coffee. Yvonne thought she looked thoroughly washed out.
"I picked up some clothes for you," Said Yvonne, "And your car's outside."
"Thank you." Yvonne rummaged in her handbag and held up a small package.
"And I picked this up from the chemist." When Karen opened the bag, and saw the packet marked Morning After Pill, she grimmaced. Yvonne, misreading her expression said, "I know it's not something you want to think about but..." Karen hastened to reassure her.
"No, it's fine. Thank you, and yes, you're right. It is something I should think about. Talking of things I'd rather avoid, how was everything this morning?" Yvonne knew this loaded question referred both to the state of Karen's office and to the situation regarding Mike. Yvonne lit a cigarette and Karen poured them both some coffee.
"Your ofice looked a complete bloody shambles, but it's pretty much okay now. As for Mike, well, that wasn't one of the easiest things I've ever done." She took a long drag. "He's likely to try and persuade you to go to the police, but I tried to tell him that this was your decision. Fenner wasn't in work today, or if he was I didn't see him."
"Thank you for telling Mike for me." Yvonne shrugged. Karen knew that this was Yvonne's way of hiding how much it had pained her to have to do it. "How was he?" Asked Karen quietly.
"Shocked, angry, ready to kill Fenner at the earliest opportunity. He wanted to know if you wanted to see him."
"I'll probably give him a ring later, but I don't know how much I could handle seeing most peple right now." Whilst Karen went upstairs for a long hot shower, Yvonne wondered just how she was supposed to help her. What could anyone do for someone who had been through something like that. Yvonne never thought she would see the strong, competent, independent woman whom she thought she knew so well, crack and crumble before her very eyes. What could she do? How in hell could she even begin to help Karen get to grips with this!
Karen tossed and turned for most of the night, slipping in and out of dreams of hands coming out of nowhere to hold her down and of offices stroon with scattered papers and discarded buttons. When Yvonne brought her a cup of tea at around seven the next morning, Karen was relieved not to have to go back to sleep. As she turned over and sat up, her bruises which had stiffened over night complained. When Yvonne saw her whince, she put the tea down on the bedside table and said,
"Are you okay?"
"Just bruises," Mumbled Karen. Yvonne looked at the dark circles under her eyes, clearly the result of a very disturbed night.
"How do you feel?" Asked Yvonne, again hating the so innocuous phrase because Karen couldn't possibly feel anything but hurt and betrayed.
"I feel like my ribs have been trampled by a herd of elephants and that my insides have been torn to shreds." Yvonne resisted the urge to whince. Then Karen paled. "Oh god," She said. "My office."
"What about your office?" Asked Yvonne, trying to calm her down.
"It'll look an absolute state. There were papers everywhere. He pushed everything off my desk to..." She couldn't continue, couldn't put in to words what Jim Fenner had actually done to her. Karen tried to prevent herself from crying, but her willpower just wasn't strong enough. Yvonne gently put her arms round Karen and held her whilst the shuddering sobs took over.
"I'm sorry," Karen gasped after a while. Yvonne rubbed her back.
"You've got nothing to be sorry for. You know this is probably only the start don't you?" Karen's slightly rueful,
"Oh yeah," held all the resigned finality of someone destined for only further torment. Yvonne looked at Karen's tired, bruised face.
"What are you going to do today?" She asked.
"I'll have to go in to work. I've got to sort my office out before one of the Julies takes in the hoover."
"Do you want me to do that?" Asked Yvonne, thinking that it probably wouldn't do Karen any good seeing the devastation of the night before. At Karen's slightly guarded look Yvonne said, "I don't mind, really."
"If you're sure?" Karen asked hesitantly, somehow unable to believe that someone really cared about lessening her painful burden.
"Of course I'm sure," Said Yvonne. "Why not try and go back to sleep. I'll let them know you won't be in today. I'll say it's food poisoning or something. I'll come and see you at lunchtime." Then the panicked look returned to Karen's face.
"What about my car? Someone will see it. Oh god, and there's Mike. How the hell do I tell him something like this." Yvonne dreaded the outcome of her next question, but the sheer pain in Karen's eyes compelled her to do it.
"Do you want me to tell him?" She asked quietly.
"Yvonne, I can't ask you to do that."
"But it would make it a bit easier, wouldn't it." This was a rhetorical question as they both knew it would. Then Karen asked,
"Yvonne, was this my fault?" Yvonne's reply of
"You what?" Cut the atmosphere like a knife.
"Did he do this, just because I wouldn't listen to him? That's what he said last night. He said that everything had always been on my terms." Yvonne tried to rein in her anger of how Fenner had managed to totally crumble any faith Karen had in herself.
"Karen, listen to me. Everything wasn't always on your terms. Him sending those pictures of you to the Sun wasn't on your terms, and what he did to you last night didn't even come close. This is absolutely not your fault. You can't blame yourself for what Fenner did to you."
"I just wish it was all that easy," Karen said, her voice taking on more self-reproach than Yvonne had ever heard.
It was a while before eight o'clock when Yvonne let herself in to the office building. She was relieved to find that so far, all was quiet. Dreading what she might find, she walked upstairs to Karen's office. The door was shut but not locked. Walking in and switching on the light, she just stood and stared. Not far from the dorr, lay Karen's handbag, the contents having been stroon all over the floor. Yvonne collected everything that appeared to belong there together. When she looked at the devestation of the desk, a wave of anger engulfed her. How could Fenner have done this. She began picking up papers, pens and numerous blouse buttons. Once the office again looked vaguely habitable, Yvonne sat down behind the desk and began sorting out the piles of proofs. This was no easy task, but having done it for years, it didn't require too much concentration. At about eight thirty, Mike appeared. He put his head around the door, expecting to see Karen.
"Oh, hello, what're you doing here?" Hearing his voice, Yvonne looked up. Mike must have seen something forbidding in her face because he walked over and looked at her.
"Yvonne, what's happened? Where's Karen?" Yvonne stood up and walked out of the office, followed by Mike. Seeing Barbara arrive, she called,
"Babs, please could you make us some coffee?" She gestured to Mike. Barbara, though slightly surprised at being asked something before she'd even reached her desk, also must have seen that something was very different about this morning because she agreed without question. Yvonne led Mike in to her own office and they sat down.
"What the hell's going on?" Mike asked, more worried than she'd ever seen him.
"Mike, i've got something to tell you. Karen almost certainly won't be in work today. Right now, she's hopefully asleep at my house. You know that she was working late last night?"
"Of course I do."
"Well, when she tried to leave," Yvonne took a deep breath. "Someone attacked her."
"What, you mean in the carpark?"
"No, she was attacked here, in her office."
"That's why you were sorting out all her papers. What exactly happened?"
"I'm sorry," Said Yvonne, "I'm not very good at giving people bad news. She was raped." There was utter silence for a good five minutes. The only thing to break it was Barbara's arrival with the coffee. Mike took a long swallow.
"Who?" Was all he could bring himself to say. Yvonne simply gave him a look that clearly said, who the hell do you think it was. "Fenner." Yvonne nodded. "I'll kill him," was Mike's only response.
"Don't be bloody stupid," Yvonne almost shouted. "Do you really think the best way to help Karen is to broadcast this to the entire office?"
"It'll end up being pretty much public knowledge anyway if she goes to the police about it."
"She isn't going to the police. At least she wasn't planning on it the last time I saw her."
"But she has too."
"No, she doesn't," Admonished Yvonne. "don't you realise? This has to be her decision. What happened to her last night took every last bit of control away from her. You can't force her in to another major decision just because you think it's right."
"Should I go and see her?"
"I'd leave it till tonight or tomorrow. She's only just beginning to realise what's happened to her. It's going to take a very long time before she can even think of coming to terms with it. What Fenner did was only the beginning. She's now got to try and put herself back together, and to do that she's going to need space."
At around eleven thirty that morning, Yvonne couldn't take any more. She walked downstairs, handed Cassie the notes she'd made at the antiques auction the night before, announced to both her juniors and to anyone else who cared to listen, that she would be out of the office for the rest of the day.
"Do you think you can cope without me?" She asked Cassie.
"I should think so," Cassie answered. "And if Alex over there can't, it's about time he learnt." Yvonne collected karen's handbag from her office, and drove home in Karen's car. Yvonne liked the silver-grey Nissan, it was expensive without shouting it from the rooftops perhaps like Yvonne's Merc did on occasions. First, she called round at Karen's to pick up some clothes for her. When she reached home, Karen was wearing Yvonne's dressing-gown and making herself a coffee. Yvonne thought she looked thoroughly washed out.
"I picked up some clothes for you," Said Yvonne, "And your car's outside."
"Thank you." Yvonne rummaged in her handbag and held up a small package.
"And I picked this up from the chemist." When Karen opened the bag, and saw the packet marked Morning After Pill, she grimmaced. Yvonne, misreading her expression said, "I know it's not something you want to think about but..." Karen hastened to reassure her.
"No, it's fine. Thank you, and yes, you're right. It is something I should think about. Talking of things I'd rather avoid, how was everything this morning?" Yvonne knew this loaded question referred both to the state of Karen's office and to the situation regarding Mike. Yvonne lit a cigarette and Karen poured them both some coffee.
"Your ofice looked a complete bloody shambles, but it's pretty much okay now. As for Mike, well, that wasn't one of the easiest things I've ever done." She took a long drag. "He's likely to try and persuade you to go to the police, but I tried to tell him that this was your decision. Fenner wasn't in work today, or if he was I didn't see him."
"Thank you for telling Mike for me." Yvonne shrugged. Karen knew that this was Yvonne's way of hiding how much it had pained her to have to do it. "How was he?" Asked Karen quietly.
"Shocked, angry, ready to kill Fenner at the earliest opportunity. He wanted to know if you wanted to see him."
"I'll probably give him a ring later, but I don't know how much I could handle seeing most peple right now." Whilst Karen went upstairs for a long hot shower, Yvonne wondered just how she was supposed to help her. What could anyone do for someone who had been through something like that. Yvonne never thought she would see the strong, competent, independent woman whom she thought she knew so well, crack and crumble before her very eyes. What could she do? How in hell could she even begin to help Karen get to grips with this!