Part Twenty five
Karen drove home after assuring Yvonne that yes, she would be okay. Yvonne didn't know whether or not to believe her, but could recognise that right now, Karen had to do things her way. When Karen reached home, she put the heating on because the house felt like an ice box. Hardly surprising in late November, but she could tell that nobody had been there in the last twenty-four hours apart from Yvonne. She ran the hottest bath she'd probably ever had, sprinkled in some lavender oil and plugged the CD-player from her bedroom in so that she could listen to some music whilst cleansing her body for the second time that day. Lying in the scented water and listening to the gentle tones of Elton John, she thought over everything that had happened in the last day. This time yesterday she had been happy. But then her world had caved in around her. She couldn't seem to rid herself of the harsh words and even harsher touches of Jim Fenner. why had he really done that to her. It couldn't simply be because she wouldn't listen to his ongoing proclaimations of love or lust or anything else he felt for her. Had it been his way of gaining control over her, making her bend to his will. She didn't know. But the thought that continuously crept in to her mind was what would her reaction be to seeing Mike again. She hadn't doubted that Yvonne would have told him, simply because Yvonne had said she would. That was something new as well. Yvonne had been wonderful, last night and this morning. She'd always got on with Yvonne. They shared a professional rivalry that was healthy and probably kept them both on their toes. But she now knew another side to Yvonne, a part of her that cared.
Yvonne was loathed to let Karen go home alone, but there it was. She knew that now above any time in the future, Karen had to have complete and utter control over anything she did. After drinking another mug of coffee and eating a cheese and pickle sandwich that she didn't really feel in the mood for, she decided to go back to work. No point staying at home if all she would do is worry about Karen. Cassie looked surprised to see her when she entered the main office.
"The skive not worth it?" She asked with a smile. Yvonne shrugged. She simply replied,
"I'll be around if anyone needs me." When she reached the upstairs landing and walked towards her office, Mike, who had left his door open hoping to catch her, called to her. Yvonne barely suppressed a groan and walked to the open door.
"How's Karen?" He asked. Yvonne walked in and closed the door.
"She's gone home, probably to have the longest bath she's ever had in her life and if I know Karen, consume a vast amount of Scotch." Mike didn't look impressed.
"Is that such a good idea?" He said. Yvonne only just managed to rein in her irritation.
"The point is that it was her decision. What you have to understand, is that the last thing Karen needs right now is for anyone, you included to tell her what she ought to be doing. If scrubbing her skin raw and getting very drunk is what feels right to her, then it is right."
"How come you know so much about this?" Asked Mike, completely without his usual level of tact. But this didn't phase Yvonne in the slightest.
"that's none of your business," She said matter-of-factly. Mike looked appologetic.
"I'm sorry," He said. "I just don't know what to do for the best." Yvonne's voice softened a little.
"I know. but you've got to let Karen make every tiny little decision for a while. It's the only way she might begin to feel back in control of her life again."
"I notice Fenner's not made his appearance today," Said Mike, slightly changing the subject.
"That's no surprise," Said Yvonne. "He's probably nursing a hang over and trying to find any excuse for what he did."
"Do you think she might want to see me later?" Mike sounded hopeful and apprehensive all at the same time.
"I couldn't tell you," Yvonne replied. "I'd recommend phoning her first though."
Yvonne seemed to drift away the afternoon by sitting at her desk, her head on her hand, just staring in to space. She couldn't keep her mind on anything vaguely resembling work. Seeing Karen in such a state had brought back more memories than she would have liked. She could far too easily picture what Karen would be doing now. After all, it wouldn't be far from what she had done, the first time Charlie had used his drink-induced strength to forcefully take what he considered his matrimonial rights. She had gone through a phase of taking more baths and showers than was really necessary, and definitely drinking and smoking far too much. But simply knowing what Karen was going through wasn't going to be of much help. she just wished she knew how best to support Karen through what would probably be the biggest crisis she'd ever faced. suddenly, Yvonne felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Startled, she looked up in to Barbara's concerned face.
"I'm sorry," Barbara said, "I tried calling you but you were miles away." Yvonne gave her a small smile.
"Sorry, Babs. My mind just isn't on the job today."
"Is everything okay?" Asked Barbara. For a moment, Yvonne had the insane urge to spill all to her ever faithful and very discrete secretary, but she managed to override this.
"No," She simply said. "Everything's not okay and I wish like hell I could tell you about it, but it isn't my decision to make."
"Well, if you ever change your mind, the boss/PA rule of confidentiality would always apply." Yvonne smiled at her. Sometimes she didn't know what she'd do without Barbara.
"Thanks, Babs. Now, what did you want me for?"
"I just need you to sign this month's expenses form, that's all." Adding her untidy scrall to the neatly filled in form, Yvonne asked,
"You couldn't make me another coffee, could you, Babs?"
"Of course," Barbara smiled. When she returned with the blakc coffee, the way Yvonne always drank it, Yvonne removed a bottle of whisky from a hidden desk drawer and added a healthy slug to the coffee. Karen wasn't the only one to keep a handy supply of alcohol where it was most needed.
Karen had stayed in the bath for nearly three hours, continuously replenishing the hot water. She played various tracks on her CD over and over, as if taking some level of comfort from the music. When she eventually ran out of hot water, she wrapped herself in her thickest, warmest, most concealing dressing-gown and moving the music to the stereo in her living-room, did as Yvonne had suspected she would and started on the Scotch. She was well aware that four in the afternoon, especially on a weekday was very early for her, but if you can't get pissed on the day after you get raped, when can you do it, she surmised. The call from Mike came at about seven that evening. The phone had been ominously silent all day and Karen was brought out of her thoughts to see Mike's number on the caller display. She was in two minds whether or not to let the answerphone take it, but reflected that if she did, she'd probably have him round here on her doorstep, something she could well do without. Mike was surprised to hear her "Hello" sounding so normal. He wasn't sure what he'd expected.
"Karen, how are you?" He asked tentatively.
"I'm alive. A little drunk but alive." Mike privately thought that she sounded a lot more than a little drunk, but he wasn't about to argue the point with her. Once the polite enquiries were out of the way, Mike really didn't know what to say to her. What does one say to one's lover when they are struglling to come to terms with the fact that they were raped by an ex. Karen seemed to sense what he was feeling.
"I'm not okay right now," She said, "but I will be, if you give me time."
"Karen, you take as much time as you need. I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you." this was too much for Karen. Probably as a result of the amount of alcohol she'd consumed, she couldn't prevent the tears from falling, or the shuddering sobs from wracking her entire body.
"I'm sorry," She gasped. "I wasn't going to do this."
"Do you want me to come over?" Asked Mike, hardly able to bear hearing her pain.
"No," Karen said, with more certainty than she'd said anything that day. "Please don't. I think I just need to sort this out on my own." With a final, "I'll see you at work tomorrow," Karen replaced the receiver and cried more than she'd ever done in her life. She put down her empty glass, turned off the Cd-player and went upstairs. Already it was dark outside and this only made her feel more alone. But Mike's company wasn't something she either wanted or felt she could handle. She might have been able to see Yvonne, but she'd imposed on Yvonne more than enough in the past twenty-four hours. Karen huddled herself under her thick duvet and pulled the covers up over her head. Never in her life had she felt so alone. Eventually, her crying lessened and she just lay there, feeling chilled to her core. After a while, the sound of the rain drumming against the window lulled her in to a deep sleep.
Karen drove home after assuring Yvonne that yes, she would be okay. Yvonne didn't know whether or not to believe her, but could recognise that right now, Karen had to do things her way. When Karen reached home, she put the heating on because the house felt like an ice box. Hardly surprising in late November, but she could tell that nobody had been there in the last twenty-four hours apart from Yvonne. She ran the hottest bath she'd probably ever had, sprinkled in some lavender oil and plugged the CD-player from her bedroom in so that she could listen to some music whilst cleansing her body for the second time that day. Lying in the scented water and listening to the gentle tones of Elton John, she thought over everything that had happened in the last day. This time yesterday she had been happy. But then her world had caved in around her. She couldn't seem to rid herself of the harsh words and even harsher touches of Jim Fenner. why had he really done that to her. It couldn't simply be because she wouldn't listen to his ongoing proclaimations of love or lust or anything else he felt for her. Had it been his way of gaining control over her, making her bend to his will. She didn't know. But the thought that continuously crept in to her mind was what would her reaction be to seeing Mike again. She hadn't doubted that Yvonne would have told him, simply because Yvonne had said she would. That was something new as well. Yvonne had been wonderful, last night and this morning. She'd always got on with Yvonne. They shared a professional rivalry that was healthy and probably kept them both on their toes. But she now knew another side to Yvonne, a part of her that cared.
Yvonne was loathed to let Karen go home alone, but there it was. She knew that now above any time in the future, Karen had to have complete and utter control over anything she did. After drinking another mug of coffee and eating a cheese and pickle sandwich that she didn't really feel in the mood for, she decided to go back to work. No point staying at home if all she would do is worry about Karen. Cassie looked surprised to see her when she entered the main office.
"The skive not worth it?" She asked with a smile. Yvonne shrugged. She simply replied,
"I'll be around if anyone needs me." When she reached the upstairs landing and walked towards her office, Mike, who had left his door open hoping to catch her, called to her. Yvonne barely suppressed a groan and walked to the open door.
"How's Karen?" He asked. Yvonne walked in and closed the door.
"She's gone home, probably to have the longest bath she's ever had in her life and if I know Karen, consume a vast amount of Scotch." Mike didn't look impressed.
"Is that such a good idea?" He said. Yvonne only just managed to rein in her irritation.
"The point is that it was her decision. What you have to understand, is that the last thing Karen needs right now is for anyone, you included to tell her what she ought to be doing. If scrubbing her skin raw and getting very drunk is what feels right to her, then it is right."
"How come you know so much about this?" Asked Mike, completely without his usual level of tact. But this didn't phase Yvonne in the slightest.
"that's none of your business," She said matter-of-factly. Mike looked appologetic.
"I'm sorry," He said. "I just don't know what to do for the best." Yvonne's voice softened a little.
"I know. but you've got to let Karen make every tiny little decision for a while. It's the only way she might begin to feel back in control of her life again."
"I notice Fenner's not made his appearance today," Said Mike, slightly changing the subject.
"That's no surprise," Said Yvonne. "He's probably nursing a hang over and trying to find any excuse for what he did."
"Do you think she might want to see me later?" Mike sounded hopeful and apprehensive all at the same time.
"I couldn't tell you," Yvonne replied. "I'd recommend phoning her first though."
Yvonne seemed to drift away the afternoon by sitting at her desk, her head on her hand, just staring in to space. She couldn't keep her mind on anything vaguely resembling work. Seeing Karen in such a state had brought back more memories than she would have liked. She could far too easily picture what Karen would be doing now. After all, it wouldn't be far from what she had done, the first time Charlie had used his drink-induced strength to forcefully take what he considered his matrimonial rights. She had gone through a phase of taking more baths and showers than was really necessary, and definitely drinking and smoking far too much. But simply knowing what Karen was going through wasn't going to be of much help. she just wished she knew how best to support Karen through what would probably be the biggest crisis she'd ever faced. suddenly, Yvonne felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Startled, she looked up in to Barbara's concerned face.
"I'm sorry," Barbara said, "I tried calling you but you were miles away." Yvonne gave her a small smile.
"Sorry, Babs. My mind just isn't on the job today."
"Is everything okay?" Asked Barbara. For a moment, Yvonne had the insane urge to spill all to her ever faithful and very discrete secretary, but she managed to override this.
"No," She simply said. "Everything's not okay and I wish like hell I could tell you about it, but it isn't my decision to make."
"Well, if you ever change your mind, the boss/PA rule of confidentiality would always apply." Yvonne smiled at her. Sometimes she didn't know what she'd do without Barbara.
"Thanks, Babs. Now, what did you want me for?"
"I just need you to sign this month's expenses form, that's all." Adding her untidy scrall to the neatly filled in form, Yvonne asked,
"You couldn't make me another coffee, could you, Babs?"
"Of course," Barbara smiled. When she returned with the blakc coffee, the way Yvonne always drank it, Yvonne removed a bottle of whisky from a hidden desk drawer and added a healthy slug to the coffee. Karen wasn't the only one to keep a handy supply of alcohol where it was most needed.
Karen had stayed in the bath for nearly three hours, continuously replenishing the hot water. She played various tracks on her CD over and over, as if taking some level of comfort from the music. When she eventually ran out of hot water, she wrapped herself in her thickest, warmest, most concealing dressing-gown and moving the music to the stereo in her living-room, did as Yvonne had suspected she would and started on the Scotch. She was well aware that four in the afternoon, especially on a weekday was very early for her, but if you can't get pissed on the day after you get raped, when can you do it, she surmised. The call from Mike came at about seven that evening. The phone had been ominously silent all day and Karen was brought out of her thoughts to see Mike's number on the caller display. She was in two minds whether or not to let the answerphone take it, but reflected that if she did, she'd probably have him round here on her doorstep, something she could well do without. Mike was surprised to hear her "Hello" sounding so normal. He wasn't sure what he'd expected.
"Karen, how are you?" He asked tentatively.
"I'm alive. A little drunk but alive." Mike privately thought that she sounded a lot more than a little drunk, but he wasn't about to argue the point with her. Once the polite enquiries were out of the way, Mike really didn't know what to say to her. What does one say to one's lover when they are struglling to come to terms with the fact that they were raped by an ex. Karen seemed to sense what he was feeling.
"I'm not okay right now," She said, "but I will be, if you give me time."
"Karen, you take as much time as you need. I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you." this was too much for Karen. Probably as a result of the amount of alcohol she'd consumed, she couldn't prevent the tears from falling, or the shuddering sobs from wracking her entire body.
"I'm sorry," She gasped. "I wasn't going to do this."
"Do you want me to come over?" Asked Mike, hardly able to bear hearing her pain.
"No," Karen said, with more certainty than she'd said anything that day. "Please don't. I think I just need to sort this out on my own." With a final, "I'll see you at work tomorrow," Karen replaced the receiver and cried more than she'd ever done in her life. She put down her empty glass, turned off the Cd-player and went upstairs. Already it was dark outside and this only made her feel more alone. But Mike's company wasn't something she either wanted or felt she could handle. She might have been able to see Yvonne, but she'd imposed on Yvonne more than enough in the past twenty-four hours. Karen huddled herself under her thick duvet and pulled the covers up over her head. Never in her life had she felt so alone. Eventually, her crying lessened and she just lay there, feeling chilled to her core. After a while, the sound of the rain drumming against the window lulled her in to a deep sleep.