The following are not necessarily the views or feelings of the author, and
she is not responsible for this chapter's contents.( Nor does the author
take credit for the creation of any names, places, or plot that come from
Tamora Peirce's books, or anyone else's.)
(PS Wilkes-Barre basically wrote this, so I'm not responsible.)
(Though I'd be more than glad to relay any reviews you want to send him. Hint hint.)
Our unhappy threesome walked for roughly three days in basically a straight line. They did not have a watch with which to tell the time, because Moira had buried it, and they did not have rain gear, because they had not brought any. They also were never quite sure if they were walking in a straight line, because they had also not brought a compass. Moira enjoyed herself immensely, Ilanna and Fae did not. Well to be honest, Fae did less than Moira, but more than Ilanna, who only really enjoyed herself three times, the first night when they managed to make a fire, and discovered that roasted peanuts are really very good, and then the next day when Moira did her Gollum impersonation and scared Fae, and then later that same afternoon when Moira did her "man-flying-New-Zealand-Air-who-is-allergic-to- peanuts (with Scottish accent)" routine. Overall, Ilanna enjoyed less than an hour of their hike, Moira was unhappy for less than an hour, and Fae was somewhere in-between the two.
( See here, I am enraged at the false assumptions made. I, Moira, was unhappy for roughly one half hour every morning, because I kept getting awful cricks in my neck from sleeping on the ground without a pillow. Let's see, one half times three is.a lot more than one. Humph)
Anyway, on the third day, we don't know quite when exactly, because they didn't have a watch, some stuff happened. First in the morning, Moira didn't want to wake up, so she just lay there for awhile and Fae and Ilanna got pretty mad at her and at everything in general. They figured that if they wanted a walk in the woods, they could have gone behind Ilanna's house, and then afterwards had a nice dinner and a bed with pillows. When Moira finally got up they began walking in the same direction they had stopped walking in the day before. They didn't give Moira any of the dried fruit for breakfast because they were running low and they were mad at her. Then later after they had walked enough to make them hot sweaty and mad, Fae fell down a cliff, and the other two left her for dead. Then a dog grabbed Moira and dissipated with her, and Ilanna left her for dead.
(Now see here, that didn't happen at all. Readers, don't listen to any of that leaving for dead stuff, that was just Wilkes-Barre lying to you. We'll start again with Fae falling down a cliff.)
.Fae fell down a cliff. Now, if this was any of those other fics, Fae would now say something along the lines of, "Oh dear, I seem to have sprained my ankle." (Never mind how she managed to sprain ankle while basically only rolling down a very steep hill and landing on her stomach, or how in the world she would know if she sprained her ankle and didn't break it or just bruise it) And then the other two would rush down (conveniently forgetting that it was a cliff and the only way to rush down a cliff would be to fall like Fae) and gather around her concernedly. Then a young man with a horse would trot up and we'd hear about every feature of him. He has chestnut brown curls and long eyelashes framing aquamarine eyes and perfect skin to set off his straight blond hair and green eyes, ect. And he would say, "My name is Sir. Wilkes-Barre of Conté, Pirate's Swoop, Olau, Goldenlake, Naxen, Persopolis, Legan, and just about every other place under the sun, may I help you? Because I also happen to be a very powerful Shang warrior, and Black robe mage, as well as having a picnic lunch enough for four people, an inhuman sense of direction and a castle not far from here."
Instead, Fae lay there for awhile while the other two tried to see if she was okay without falling off the cliff too.
Authors note: Listen all you non-existent people reading this. I am very sorry for the poor formatting of this and the dense paragraphing. Moira is a very dense person, and Wilkes-Barre has never passed English class with more than a 78. (that grade refers to the US public school grading system, as Wilkes- Barre is from New England, and therefore goes to a US public school.) As a result I realize that it is tough to read. I'm working on fixing that, so please bear with me for the time being. Thank you.
Oops, now that I've kinda told you all about Wilkes-Barre, I'd better explain myself.
Eventually Moira managed to get down the cliff in the process creating a huge could of dust and sending massive amounts of pebbles onto the head of Fae. After sincerest apologies and a lot of coughing Fae managed to get righted again.
To tell the honest truth (though really what other kind is there?) I have no idea exactly what happened next. You see, I was being a really good, faithful, attentive author, and then I kinda zoned out for a couple seconds and. okay, stopped paying attention to my characters for a couple sec- actually minutes.Fine, I took a break and completely ignored the characters for a good quarter of an hour. (Gimme a break. You think reading this is boring? Try watching these guys walk and argue for hours on end without any of these wonderful, insightful, hilarious author notes.)
When I came back, Fae was at the top of the cliff with Ilanna, and Moira was still at the bottom. There were some shouts between the two parties, that sounded like they were in a quandary about how Moira was going to get up the cliff, and then this dog ran up. (yes I know that was not only a poorly structured sentence, but also a poorly worded one, and not even funny. But hey, no one reads this anyway, so who's to complain?) ( In fact, since no one is reading this, why am I even writing it?) (Wow, this is kinda a waste of time, I think I'll stop)
(PS, the dog was going to do something really cool that turns out to be a plot point, but now you'll never know because I never get any sign that I'm doing more than creating cool dogs and plot points for my own amusement)
("For my own amusement" is, by the way, not enough reason for me to continue uploading this)
( Hint, hint)
(PS Wilkes-Barre basically wrote this, so I'm not responsible.)
(Though I'd be more than glad to relay any reviews you want to send him. Hint hint.)
Our unhappy threesome walked for roughly three days in basically a straight line. They did not have a watch with which to tell the time, because Moira had buried it, and they did not have rain gear, because they had not brought any. They also were never quite sure if they were walking in a straight line, because they had also not brought a compass. Moira enjoyed herself immensely, Ilanna and Fae did not. Well to be honest, Fae did less than Moira, but more than Ilanna, who only really enjoyed herself three times, the first night when they managed to make a fire, and discovered that roasted peanuts are really very good, and then the next day when Moira did her Gollum impersonation and scared Fae, and then later that same afternoon when Moira did her "man-flying-New-Zealand-Air-who-is-allergic-to- peanuts (with Scottish accent)" routine. Overall, Ilanna enjoyed less than an hour of their hike, Moira was unhappy for less than an hour, and Fae was somewhere in-between the two.
( See here, I am enraged at the false assumptions made. I, Moira, was unhappy for roughly one half hour every morning, because I kept getting awful cricks in my neck from sleeping on the ground without a pillow. Let's see, one half times three is.a lot more than one. Humph)
Anyway, on the third day, we don't know quite when exactly, because they didn't have a watch, some stuff happened. First in the morning, Moira didn't want to wake up, so she just lay there for awhile and Fae and Ilanna got pretty mad at her and at everything in general. They figured that if they wanted a walk in the woods, they could have gone behind Ilanna's house, and then afterwards had a nice dinner and a bed with pillows. When Moira finally got up they began walking in the same direction they had stopped walking in the day before. They didn't give Moira any of the dried fruit for breakfast because they were running low and they were mad at her. Then later after they had walked enough to make them hot sweaty and mad, Fae fell down a cliff, and the other two left her for dead. Then a dog grabbed Moira and dissipated with her, and Ilanna left her for dead.
(Now see here, that didn't happen at all. Readers, don't listen to any of that leaving for dead stuff, that was just Wilkes-Barre lying to you. We'll start again with Fae falling down a cliff.)
.Fae fell down a cliff. Now, if this was any of those other fics, Fae would now say something along the lines of, "Oh dear, I seem to have sprained my ankle." (Never mind how she managed to sprain ankle while basically only rolling down a very steep hill and landing on her stomach, or how in the world she would know if she sprained her ankle and didn't break it or just bruise it) And then the other two would rush down (conveniently forgetting that it was a cliff and the only way to rush down a cliff would be to fall like Fae) and gather around her concernedly. Then a young man with a horse would trot up and we'd hear about every feature of him. He has chestnut brown curls and long eyelashes framing aquamarine eyes and perfect skin to set off his straight blond hair and green eyes, ect. And he would say, "My name is Sir. Wilkes-Barre of Conté, Pirate's Swoop, Olau, Goldenlake, Naxen, Persopolis, Legan, and just about every other place under the sun, may I help you? Because I also happen to be a very powerful Shang warrior, and Black robe mage, as well as having a picnic lunch enough for four people, an inhuman sense of direction and a castle not far from here."
Instead, Fae lay there for awhile while the other two tried to see if she was okay without falling off the cliff too.
Authors note: Listen all you non-existent people reading this. I am very sorry for the poor formatting of this and the dense paragraphing. Moira is a very dense person, and Wilkes-Barre has never passed English class with more than a 78. (that grade refers to the US public school grading system, as Wilkes- Barre is from New England, and therefore goes to a US public school.) As a result I realize that it is tough to read. I'm working on fixing that, so please bear with me for the time being. Thank you.
Oops, now that I've kinda told you all about Wilkes-Barre, I'd better explain myself.
Eventually Moira managed to get down the cliff in the process creating a huge could of dust and sending massive amounts of pebbles onto the head of Fae. After sincerest apologies and a lot of coughing Fae managed to get righted again.
To tell the honest truth (though really what other kind is there?) I have no idea exactly what happened next. You see, I was being a really good, faithful, attentive author, and then I kinda zoned out for a couple seconds and. okay, stopped paying attention to my characters for a couple sec- actually minutes.Fine, I took a break and completely ignored the characters for a good quarter of an hour. (Gimme a break. You think reading this is boring? Try watching these guys walk and argue for hours on end without any of these wonderful, insightful, hilarious author notes.)
When I came back, Fae was at the top of the cliff with Ilanna, and Moira was still at the bottom. There were some shouts between the two parties, that sounded like they were in a quandary about how Moira was going to get up the cliff, and then this dog ran up. (yes I know that was not only a poorly structured sentence, but also a poorly worded one, and not even funny. But hey, no one reads this anyway, so who's to complain?) ( In fact, since no one is reading this, why am I even writing it?) (Wow, this is kinda a waste of time, I think I'll stop)
(PS, the dog was going to do something really cool that turns out to be a plot point, but now you'll never know because I never get any sign that I'm doing more than creating cool dogs and plot points for my own amusement)
("For my own amusement" is, by the way, not enough reason for me to continue uploading this)
( Hint, hint)