disclaimer: don't own buffy or angel.

a/n: words in italic flashbacks.

Buffy sat on the plane to L.A. She hadn't spoken to anyone since angel had died. Giles had decided to call the gang and have them all meet at the airport. Dawn watched her sister sadly, she went to touch Buffy but she just pulled away. Angel was like an older brother to her and she would miss him but it was no where near how much Buffy would miss him.

Buffy stared out the window.

'You almost went away today'

'We both did'

'Angel... I feel like I lost you... You're right, though. We can't be sure of anything'

'Shhh. I...'

'You what?'

'I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop'

'Me, me, too. I can't either'

'Buffy, maybe we shouldn't...'

'Don't. Just kiss me'

A tear ran down Buffy's face. It was the first time she had made love, and the only time. The other times she had sex wasn't the same. Spike was the closest that came to love but she never was in love with him.

Once they arrived at the airport they met up with willow, Kennedy and xander and for some reason Andrew was there. Willow ran up to Buffy and hugged her. Buffy just stood still with no reaction. Willow pulled away and looked at Buffy.

"Buffy what's wrong?"

"And why are we all here?" xander asked. Dawn was about to say something when Andrew shouted. "SPIKE!" spike stopped him and walked up to Buffy.

"You know?"

"I felt it".

Kennedy came strolling up to them. "My slayer senses never felt anything going on" ever since she got her powers Kennedy thought she was the best of the best.

"They wouldn't of" spike answered. Kennedy glared at him.

"Why?"

"Because it wasn't your bloody mate dying!" Spike shouted. As soon as he said that Buffy broke down crying. Willow pulled her friend into hug.

"He's gone, I miss him so much" Buffy cried.

"Spike where can we stay?" Giles asked.

"Angel still has the Hyperion hotel, we're meeting Illyria there"

"Illyria?"

"I'll explain later"

They arrived at the Hyperion and all found rooms to stay in. Spike made sure no one had angel's old room. They also found out about the others that had died. Gunn and Wes. Buffy was sitting down thinking when spike approach her. "I think angel would've wanted you to have this" spike then gave her a ring. Angel's claddagh ring. "Thank you"

Meanwhile in willows room: "What's with this guy anyway?" Kennedy asked.

"He was Buffy's first love" willow replied.

"But everyone who fights evil knows that their life is on the line, I just don't understand why she's being so bad about it"

"It's a long story, it's not my place to tell you" willow replied. They then went downstairs. They saw Illyria talking to Buffy.

"You were in love with him, you had emotions for the vampire" Buffy smiled weakly and nodded. Kennedy's eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"HE WAS A VAMPIRE!?"

"Hey! What's wrong with being a vampire?" Kennedy looked at spike.

"This is none of your business" Buffy warned.

"I think it is! I thought you were the best slayer there was but it looks like you were the best vampire layer" "Kennedy" before Kennedy could reply to willow she was sent flying across the room. Willow turned to Buffy thinking was her.

"What the bloody hell was that?" spike asked. None of them had actually touched Kennedy.

a/n: hope you liked it (sorry if ya a kennedy fan but i'm not keen on her).