Echo
By: Alicia Maxwell
Song by: Trapt
Gil sat alone in the room. He was cold but there was nothing around for him to cover himself up with. He sat there shivering, thinking.
"Ramganas will be by to see me soon," Gil thought to himself. He had said it aloud but he hadn't realized it. Since his only good company was Ramganas and Gil was completely open with him, Gil hardly ever thought something and didn't say it. After all, if it was bad company, why mind your manners anyway?
A soft knock came at the door and Gil perked up. It was certainly Ramganas.
He ran to the door to greet him. Ramganas pushed the door open swiftly and rushed inside, shutting the door behind him. "Hello, Gil."
"Hello, Ramganas," Gil smiled softly. It was a rarity for him to smile now. He hadn't smiled much in the oppressive castle he now resentfully called "home."
"How are you today? I brought you a blanket and some of my spare clothes," Ramganas dropped a pile of freshly-washed clothes and blankets in the nearest chair. "Try not to get caught with the clothes again, Gil."
"I know… Did they ever find out it was you?" Gil asked reluctantly as he picked up the shirt on the top of the pile and put it on.
"No, but I think they're beginning to suspect me," Ramganas laughed nervously.
"Close your eyes," Gil insisted as he buttoned up the shirt.
Ramganas paused for a minute, trying to figure out why Gil had ordered such a thing. When he could only reach one conclusion, he informed Gil, "Gil, you were naked to begin with. You're getting dressed not undressed."
"Oops, you're right. It's been so long since I was last allowed to wear clothes that I'm starting to think backwards," Gil admitted.
"That must be awkward - realizing you just basically told someone 'I've been completely naked for the last five minutes, yes, but close your eyes now so I can get dressed'."
"You know, they're going to catch you one of these days. You come into this room too much," Gil changed the subject.
"So I'm suspicious huh?" Ramganas laughed softly. "How suspicious do you think I'd look if I took you home with me?"
"What?"
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time to waste
Asking why?
I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
Asking why?
"You heard me. I want to take you with me."
"Ramganas, you can't," Gil shook his head.
"Who says I can't? Shydeman? Well he can just go to hell, the damn bastard," Ramganas responded, unnaturally hostile.
"Ramganas…" Gil blinked, wide-eyed.
"Your eyes are so beautiful," Ramganas cheerfully smiled at Gil.
"Ramu…" Gil blushed slightly.
"You're a very good-looking man, Gil," he insisted. "I mean it. You really are quite handsome. It's a very rugged look but you carry it well."
"In any event," Gil decided to divert the subject matter, "you'd certainly be caught if you took me away from here."
"And so what if I'm caught? So long as you're free, I'll be happy."
"Shydeman would kill you if you let me out of here."
"Screw Shydeman," he returned to that hostile nature he had previously displayed. "Screw the whole damn lot of them. I'm getting you out of here. I don't know when or how but I'm going to." Ramu flopped down in a chair and began to plot the escape, an angry scowl on his face.
I think about your face
And how I fall into your eyes
The outline that I trace around the one that I call mine
Time to count more space
And beware that your drew the line
I don't need to solve this case
And I don't need to look behind
"Ramganas, you really should go. Shydeman could come in any minute. You'll be caught," Gil insisted.
"If you stop speaking to me, no one will get suspicious, so please be quiet and let me think," Ramganas closed his eyes and thought harder. "I'm going to get you out of here."
"Ramu, I'm really worried about this. I don't want you to get caught."
"Relax, so long as I don't over-think the matter, I don't think we'll get caught," Ramganas tapped his foot on the floor as he thought.
"You're already over-thinking it! Leave things as they are and you won't get caught," Gil demanded.
"I can't do that," Ramu said. "Unless you can look me in the eye and honestly say that you're content with the way you live now."
"You know there's no way I can do that," Gil chuckled softly.
"That's exactly why I said it," he admitted. "You've got no choice now but to let me take you away with me. So Gil, where did you come from?"
"Well, I used to be a human. I lived on a mountain on the outskirts of a little town with my younger brother Barl and his family," Gil said.
"Sounds so nice… When we escape, how about going back to them?" Ramganas asked.
"I couldn't return to them now that I'm like this…"
"Demon or human, you're their family. I'd never look down on you and I'm sure they won't either."
"Thanks Ramu," Gil said sincerely.
"You're welcome."
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time to waste
Asking why?
I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
Asking why?
The next day, Gil was sitting alone in the room again. He wasn't cold this time and he felt rather happy. With his strengthened sense of smell, Gil could smell Ramganas' scent on the clothes he had given him.
"I hope Ramu comes to see me today," Gil sighed softly to himself. He had been waiting all day for Ramganas and he had yet to show himself.
"Hello Gil. Sorry I'm late," Ramganas entered the room with a wide grin.
"Ramu," Gil smiled in return.
"Prepared to break out? We're leaving tonight," Ramu said.
"What?"
"You heard me. Tonight, we run and we don't look back."
"Heh. Don't look back? Not a problem," Gil almost laughed. He would never look back on this damned place of eternal anguish.
"Not even if I fall behind or get caught, you hear? Just keep moving," Ramganas insisted.
Now Gil was having a problem with it. "Ramu, I could never leave you behind."
"Listen to me, Gil. I know what they've done to you here in this room day after day. I've known all along and I could never lift a finger to stop it. This is what little atonement I can offer for not saving you sooner - I'm going to set you free. And I won't let my mission fail just because you turned back."
Gil was overcome with emotional pain. Ramganas' words were picking at scabs old and new. Gil had scars all over his body from what they had done to him. He put up a stolid look when they abused him like that but it really did hurt. The scars on his body did not run nearly as deep as the scars in his heart.
"I'm sorry," Ramganas suddenly spoke. "I didn't mean to bring that up. Forgive me, please."
"Of course."
Ramganas looked at the clock on the wall. "I'll be back for you in five hours." With that, Ramganas left.
Gil looked up at the clock himself. "He'll be here at midnight," he said quietly. "It's only five hours but I know already that it will feel like an eternity."
Do I expect you change, the past I hold inside?
With all the words I say
Repeating over in my mind
Some things you can't erase
No matter how hard you try
An exit to escape
Is all there is left to find
"Five minutes 'til midnight," Gil sighed. The five hours were almost over. As he had expected, it felt like an eternity but he had weathered it. Just five more minutes…
"Gil, come on. Let's go," Ramganas whispered as he rushed into the room quietly. Gil looked at Ramganas and then at the clock.
"You're early, thank God," Gil chuckled softly to himself.
"I don't believe in God, merely good and evil. Besides, I'm not early. Never am. I always arrive exactly when I intend to," Ramu smiled.
"So you're really taking me away?" Gil asked.
Ramganas walked to the window and opened it. He took the rope from around his left shoulder and attached the one end firmly to the handle on the window. "When we start scaling the wall, we'll close the window automatically. With the window closed, even if the handle breaks, we won't fall."
"That's good. I don't want my Ramu snapping his neck due to a fall caused by his own carelessness."
Ramganas was a bit shocked at this declaration of possession at first but then he smiled softly and returned the sentiments. "I wouldn't want my Gil dying because of my stupidity, either."
"Shall we go?" Gil asked.
"Yes, let's go," Ramganas jumped onto the window ledge. He extended his hand for Gil's. Gil looked at him for a moment and Ramganas could see the worry in Gil's eyes. However, Gil quickly smiled and took his hand. Then Ramganas pulled him onto the ledge with him.
"I've never scaled a wall before," Gil admitted. "What do I do?"
"Well…," Ramganas took the end of the rope and knotted a loop around his own waist and then another loop around Gil's, "just hold onto me and I'll take care of you."
"In other words, do what I always do," Gil said crossly.
"Not true. You certainly can take care of yourself. You don't always need me to do things for you."
"The scars on my arm say otherwise…" Gil retorted.
"Will you stop being so pessimistic? Come on, hold onto me and we'll leave this place for good," Ramganas extended his arms. Gil clung to him tightly and he began scaling the wall. When they reached the bottom, Ramganas cut Gil and himself free from the rope. "Now, we run."
"Like I couldn't figure that one out," Gil chuckled softly. They ran.
When they reached the forest a few miles from the castle, Ramganas halted. Instinctively, Gil repeated the motion.
"Something wrong?" Gil panted softly.
"I know I said not to, but I thought that now would be a perfect time for you to look back and get a true sense of what just happened," Ramganas smiled.
Gil looked back on the palace and smirked. There it was… the castle that had oppressed him for so long that he had lost all sense of time unless there was a clock on the wall… and he was outside of it. Gil wouldn't have to face Shydeman and Shyrendora's abuse ever again. He was free.
"So, where are we going from here? Which way is your brother Barl's house?" Ramu asked.
"I think it's to the north," Gil answered. The thought kept echoing in his mind - he was finally free.
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time to waste
Asking why? Asking why?
I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in my mind
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside
One of the ordinary demons guarding the castle discovered that Gil was missing from his quarters. Frantically, he ran to tell Shydeman the news.
"I already know," Shydeman responded as he watched Gil and Ramganas fleeing through a crystal ball. "But, since you are the bearer of bad news, you will receive a just reward…"
Instantly, he fell dead to the ground.
"My Lord," the fortune teller who had summoned the crystal ball spoke, "it would be wise to send someone after them, would it not?"
"No," Shydeman responded.
"No?" she blinked.
"I have total control over the beast anyway. And as for punishment, I have something worse in store for them…"
Gil fell to his knees in the ice cold snow. Ramganas stopped but did not think to worry about Gil's sudden fall. They had been in a full sprint for a good few miles so Ramganas thought it no more than exhaustion. That is, until he heard an array of crackling and popping sounds…
It was Gil. He was shifting forms. It was clear he didn't have control. Ramganas became worried. "Gil?"
The piercing golden eye of Gil's demon cat form glared at him suddenly. Ramganas gasped in fear but before he had time to move, Gil pounced, and tore him open. Shydeman had decided on a painful punishment. Not only would Ramganas die at the hands of his own love, but he would also live long enough for Gil to see what he had done for himself.
As Ramganas' warm blood began to mingle with the frozen snow, Gil regained consciousness and his typical form. Having a faint yet horrifying inkling of what he had done, Gil quickly snapped his head around to see Ramganas bathing in his own blood.
"RAMGANAS!" Gil ran back to him and fell at his side. He looked over the battered form several times, as if expecting Ramganas' critical state to become less serious the more he looked at him. "Ramganas… please stay with me…" Gil's tears began to soak Ramu's face. Ramganas panted. His ribs were broken and the fragments of bone were now piercing his lungs, making it harder and harder for him to breathe with his lungs drowning in blood.
"Gil…" Ramganas gasped for air as speaking had caused the horrible pain to grow.
"Don't… don't speak… You'll just cause yourself more pain…" Gil insisted.
"Gil… pain… means nothing… to me…" Ramganas replied. "Now that… you're free… I… can die… in… peace…"
"No, Ramganas… You can't die on me now… Please, no…" Gil cried. "Not after we worked so hard to get free of that place…"
"I… never expected to… be free… myself…" Ramu admitted. "I… always expected that… I'd be… killed along the way."
"And yet you took me away, knowing you'd die. Why, Ramu?"
"I let you… know from… the beginning… that my only… concern… was your happiness and… freedom."
"Ramganas… you big jerk… you give me the one thing I craved the most… and now you're taking away what really meant the most to me."
"So long as… you don't… blame yourself," Ramganas forced a smile weakly.
"I do… I blame myself more than words can express."
"Don't… you'll make me… terribly sad…"
"Ramganas, please… stay with me…" Gil begged.
"Gil… I'll never leave you…" Ramganas objected. "Death is merely… a new beginning."
"Don't you dare die on me!"
"Hush, Gil… Shouting won't change fate… Death… is inevitable," Ramganas felt the pain going away, being replaced with the numbness of death. "Gil… make my last moments pleasant…"
"Of course. Just tell me what you want me to do."
"Smile… for me… and… promise… you'll keep searching… for happiness…"
Gil forced a smile as the tears began to flow rapidly down his cheeks again. Choking down the knot in his throat, Gil promised softly, "I'll keep searching."
"I'll continue… to be by your side Gil… I expect… you to keep… that promise," Ramganas gave into death. His final words came to his lips, "Be happy, Gil."
Gil buried Ramganas' body on the spot and then continued his journey forward. He could never go back and his promise kept him from staying there, so Gil continued to blaze a path forward. Eventually, the sadness faded, for he could here the soft familiar voice echoing in his mind - "Be happy, Gil." He had let Ramganas down once. He had killed Ramganas. He did not intend to fail him again.
So I,
Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time to waste
Asking why?
I'll run away with you, by my side
I'll run away with you, by my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in my mind
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside