Disclaimer: I don't own the turtles or their Master, however I could probably buy the rights to Venus for $5 :P I do own this version of Mary Sue though.

VestqueX – often does that. As soon as I upload a story, the author alerts get sent out even though the story isn't actually updated on the site yet (I think the site updates every 15 minutes… or so they say).

Raphael-Lover – By hair I mean it like how a human has hair; just on the head… though a completely hairy turtle would be an interesting sight to see!

Rene – Yeah, the absurdists tended to exaggerate or be redundant, mainly to either show the pointlessness of society or life itself. They would sometimes even go one step further and have incredibly long silences or long, dwindling conversations, so much to the point that it annoys and aggravates the audience or forces them to wonder if the play would even continue

Chapter Three: I'll Slap Your Flipper.

Venus yawned and opened her eyes the next morning when she had received enough sleep. To her surprise, Mary wasn't in the room with her. In fact it looked like she hadn't slept in Venus' room at all. Curious and slightly worried, Venus slowly got out of bed and exited the train carriage in an attempt to try and find the other mutant female. A quiet sigh of relief escaped past her lips when she found Mary sitting on the couch watching the television. "Hi Venus," Mary greeted with another one of her beautiful, perfect smiles.

"Hi," Venus muttered in return. "Where did you go last night?" she asked.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Mary questioned.

"Well you didn't come back and sleep in my room," Venus pointed out.

"Oh! I hope I didn't worry you! I slept in Leo's room instead," Mary Sue informed Venus as though nothing was wrong. In an instant, all positive thoughts about Mary were vanquished from Venus' mind; rapidly being replaced with jealous and irritated images. Feeling a surge of rage rippling through her body, she clenched her fists and held them strictly by her sides. Her right eye soon began to twitch. Mary removed her gaze from the TV to look at Venus, causing her to frown for the first time in her life. "What's wrong with your eye?" Mary wondered innocently. Venus didn't respond and continued to glare at the blonde, turtle version of a Barbie – slowly grinding her teeth as she did so.

"Training time! Everybody in the dojo!" Leonardo commanded as he stepped out of his room. A long groan was heard behind Mike's carriage door, yet the announcement didn't bother Venus one bit, mainly because she simply couldn't wait till she taught Mary a lesson or two in combat. Cracking her knuckles in preparation, she followed the others into the room that was set aside solely for training purposes.

Much to her disappointment, Splinter decided to pair Venus up with Raphael, allowing Donatello and Mary to spar together instead. Although the elderly ninja Master had given Leonardo the right to lead the group, Splinter still preferred to have control in the dojo; simply observing the fights rather than participating in them.

Curiosity brewed as Donatello and Mary Sue prepared for their match. Venus, Raphael, Leonardo and Michelangelo sat around the edges of the room, holding their breath in anticipation. With his old eyes gleaming bright, Splinter started the match. "Hajime," the rat commanded.

Donatello didn't even have time to draw out his bo. In an instant, he was flat on his back. Mary Sue hadn't even broken a sweat. "Woah…" Leo, Raph and Mike uttered in complete awe.

"What, what happened?" Leonardo asked, stilled stunned at Mary's awesome skill.

"Oh, I just used my telekinetic powers," Mary Sue said, trying her best not to boast while Venus helped Donatello to his feet.

"Wow! That's so cool!" Mike exclaimed. "Do you have any other powers?" Mike wondered with child-like joy.

"Yes. I can fly, breathe fire, levitate, control water, shoot out bolts of electricity, invisibility, invincibility, invulnerability, teleport, read minds, climb walls, super speed, super strength, have healing abilities, can cause tornadoes and earthquakes, I can control time and I also have x-ray vision," Mary Sue said in one long breath.

"Can you fart fire?" Venus asked cynically.

"Venus…" Splinter warned her.

"I don't know. I've never really tried. But I probably could," Mary Sue answered the question, not realising the sarcastic subtext of the question.

"That's… cool," Mike replied, still trying to take everything in.

"I'm sorry if this came as a shock. I should have told you all earlier," Mary said, feeling slightly guilty. Leo, Mike and Raph's hearts melted at her sorrowful facial expression while Venus and Don simply raised an eye-ridge.

Splinter cleared his throat. "I believe we should continue on with the lesson," he advised his pupils.

"Aww… But I want to see more of her powers!" Michelangelo whined.

"I could spar against her," Venus offered, immediately rising to the challenge with a sly smirk on her face.

"Yeah! Girl on girl action!" Raphael responded with a hoot of excitement.

"As you wish," Splinter relented with a sigh, allowing the two females the opportunity to fight against each other.

"Cat fight, cat fight –" Raphael started chanting. "Cat fight, cat fight, cat fight, cat fight, cat fight-" Michelangelo quickly joined in. "Ow!" They both sounded in unison when Splinter swiftly rapped them over their heads with his walking stick.

"What was that for?" Raphael asked with an irritated tone while he rubbed his aching temple.

"Shh! Have some respect," Splinter lectured.

"Oh, we were only kidding! It's just that we've never seen two females fight before," Raphael argued his explanation for his behaviour.

"Cat fight," Mike managed utter through his fit of excited giggles. He suddenly fell silent when he saw the deadly gaze Venus was giving Mary Sue; like two cowboys before a shoot to the death.

"Hajime!" Splinter abruptly called out, officially commencing the match. With a cruel smile and a surge of anger, Venus hurriedly rushed towards Mary Sue and threw a punch. At first she thought she had hit her target, yet when Venus saw that Mary hadn't moved an inch, she knew something had gone wrong. Angered by the fact that Mary wasn't hurt, Venus tried to punch her in the face again. To her surprise, her fist never made contact with Mary's skin, always bouncing off what seemed to be an invisible barrier.

"What is this?" Venus growled through gritted teeth.

"It's my force field," Mary Sue answered innocently with a girlish giggle. Venus growled at her response and continued to viciously attack Mary over and over again despite the fact that none of her punches and kicks were successful. Quickly becoming bored with the battle, Mary decided it was her turn to go on the offense, however she held a perplexed expression when her kick completely missed; finding Venus standing a few inches away from where she had once thought.

"That was the Prism technique. A Shinobi illusion," Venus said with a snarl, starting to show off her own talents in the hopes that it would impress the boys. Mary simply raised an eye-ridge and shrugged as if it was nothing special; an action which infuriated Venus.

Quick as a flash, Venus caught Mary Sue off guard and managed to grab onto her hair, causing Raph and Mike to whoop and catcall out in excitement. "Ow!" Mary uttered as Venus tugged harshly on her blonde locks.

"Why. Do. You. Have. Hair!?" Venus screamed, enunciating a word upon every pull of Mary's hair. Mary Sue gasped in pain when Venus succeeded in yanking out a large tussock of hair. Venus smiled to herself when she noticed the bald spot she had created. Silence fell between the two as Mary felt her scalp. She furiously slapped Venus across the face after she found the hideous bare patch with her fingers.

"Bitch!" Mary accused, angry at her new uneven hairstyle. The males in the room gasped at the obscenity.

"Pig!" Venus slapped Mary back.

"Cow!" Mary slapped Venus across the face again. Venus was very quick to retaliate.

"Sheep!"

"Goose!"

"Parrot!"

"Galah!"

"Rhino!"

"Hippo!"

"Elephant!"

"Worm!"

"Rat!"

"Turtle!"

Venus gasped in anger at Mary's last call. Failing to think of another derogatory animal, Venus raised her hand and dug into Mary's right arm with her nails. "Slut!" Venus accused, giving everyone in the room a shock that such words could escape from her mouth.

"Duck!" Mary called out in response.

"Wha-?" Venus' thought processors were cut short when she failed to duck down in time to miss Splinter's airborne walking stick. She collapsed to the ground in an unconscious heap.

"Master! Why'd you do that for?" Leonardo asked, shocked at Splinter's brash action.

"They were giving me a headache," Splinter muttered as he slowly walked back towards his bedroom for some much needed rest and meditation.

---------------

"Ow," Venus groaned as she slowly slipped back into the conscious realm. Her head spun with pain as she groggily opened her eyes. After waiting a few minutes for her eyes to adjust, she realised she was in the clinical half of Donatello's bedroom.

"Feeling better?" Don inquired when he noticed she was beginning to stir from her sleep.

"What happened?" Venus asked as she tried to sit up. She hissed in pain to the heavy throbbing in her head, before relenting and lying back down again.

"Splinter punished you for swearing," Donatello calmly answered her question. Venus nodded uncomfortably in acknowledgment. "That fight you had with Mary was very… uh… primal," Donatello said quietly with slight amusement behind his words. Venus let out another groan upon hearing Mary Sue's name. "Want an ice pack?" Don asked, not wanting to dwell further into the topic for the time being. Venus simply nodded once again.

Ten silent minutes passed until Venus felt she had the strength to sit up again. She frowned at all the new objects in his room, obviously created from Mary Sue's meddling. Donatello couldn't help but smile at her irritated expression. He stopped grinning however when Venus gave him a dirty look. Deep down, Don knew that Venus' agitation wasn't based solely around her physical state. "Venus… does it bother you that you're no longer the only female in the clan?" Donatello asked, already knowing that he had hit the nail on the head. Venus gritted her teeth before suddenly giving out a rapid response.

"Oh no, Mary doesn't bother me one bit. I mean, it's nice to know there's another female mutant turtle in the world for the species sake. I don't mind working harder to get the man I want, even though she has massive advantages over me because she has perfect teeth, hair, eyes, legs and more voluptuous breasts. I'll just have to slave away and work hard, just like the rest of the average population in this country; just trying to ignore the ignorant, instantly talented and gifted people who can easily get further ahead in life because of their damn good looks. I am twice as smart as that Barbie doll of a turtle, and I'll just have to work my ass off from now on in order for Leonardo to even notice me, which doesn't really matter since I've been working hard all my life in order to get where I am, despite the fact that Mary probably got ahead in less time because she's so friggin' perfect! No, NO IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME AT ALL!" Venus rambled, getting angrier and faster as she went on.

"Wow…" Donatello whispered in amazement at how quickly Venus had developed a psychological disorder. The two turtles fell into a long silence as Don tried to take in everything that was said within Venus' rapid comments. He was snapped out of his deep thoughts when he saw some tears starting to emerge from Venus' average brown eyes. Feeling sorry and shy at the same time, he timidly brought Venus into a hug so she had a shoulder to cry on.

"I can't compete with her…" Venus said with a muffled whisper.

"Why do you say that?" Don wondered quietly, carefully releasing her from his gentle hug.

"I just… I'm not as pretty as she is. Why would Leo pick me over her?" Venus said almost inaudibly. She sniffled and reached for the nearby tissue box while Donatello tried to absorb all the facts.

"So you like Leo then?" Donatello asked, even though it was more of a reluctant statement.

"…Yes," Venus finally admitted her feelings. Donatello simply sighed at her answer.

"Well… have you told him that?" Donatello wondered.

"…I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not that simple," Venus answered softly.

"I understand," Donatello admitted after a few moments, knowing from personal experience how hard it could be. He looked away from Venus' sad gaze and wondered if he should tell the truth about the matter. Don bit his lip before hurriedly deciding to admit something else instead. "Maybe the rumours are true then," Donatello said almost casually.

"What rumours?" Venus asked, suddenly becoming intrigued.

"I did some research over the Internet. It seems that Mary Sue is in fact a horrible phenomenon," Donatello tried to explain.

"What?" Venus tried to grasp what Donatello was trying to say.

"Well, it's not the first time she's done something like this. Mary's in fact done everything from helping the Fellowship with the Ring to defeating enemies in galaxies far, far away with a light sabre," Donatello said.

"What are you getting at?" Venus asked, trying her best to understand.

"Well, from what I've read, I suppose she's like a Trojan Horse. She sneaks in unnoticed to a fandom and slowly begins to infect anyone and anything around her," Donatello analysed. Venus simply raised an eye-ridge at Don's computer analogy.

"Like a Trojan Horse?" Venus said, slightly amused.

"Oh, forget what I said! Listen, all I know is that she's bad news and that we need to get rid of her as soon as possible," Donatello laid down the facts. A broad smile proudly formed on Venus' face.

"So I'm not going crazy! Mary Sue really is untrustworthy," Venus said. Donatello could only smile.

"We'll get rid of her together then," Don said, forming a pact. "It won't be easy though and I still have a lot of research to do," he warned.

"We can do it," Venus said with a determined tone.

"Well, at least Mary Sue's don't sound half as bad as… well, you know," Don said, suddenly confusing Venus once again.

"As what?" she asked simply enough.

"…You know," Don generalised again.

"…No… I don't know," Venus said, getting more and more confused. Donatello moved in closer so he could whisper something in her ear.

"Insertion," he uttered as quietly as possible.

"Insertion?"

"Insertion," he confirmed. Venus' eye-ridges furrowed.

"…Gross!" Venus commented, giving Don a filthy look.

"What?" It was Donatello's turn to be confused.

"Insertion!"

"Wait… What type of insertion are you thinking of?" Donatello wondered.

"Well… you know…" Venus said, getting worried. Don remained silent. "Well what type were you thinking of?!" Venus asked, raising her voice.

"Well, I think I can assure you that it's not the same type of insertion…"

"I hope not."

"You need to get your head out of the gutter, Venus," Don said casually.

"Then what ARE you talking about then!?" Venus asked, beginning to get annoyed.

"I'm talking about Author Insertion!" Donatello said sharply. As soon as the words toppled out, Don quickly covered his mouth with his hands. "Oh no! I've summoned her!" Don uttered fearfully.

"Summoned who?" Venus asked, becoming fearful as well. The two turtles moved to the door of the carriage and observed the seventeen-year-old girl standing in the living room.

To be continued…