Miaou! -- Ha ha! That's the French way to say meow! (At least where I come from) On with the story!
Such beauty almost blinds me.
She's too good for me.
I can hear my heart beating, the steady sounds rising up to my head. Even that is making my headache worsen. Maybe it would be better if I just stopped breathing. That way I wouldn't have to hear that either. I stand and head over to my mirror, sitting myself down on the small chair that's placed neatly in front of it. I stare at my fifteen-year-old self, confused.
I don't find myself worthy of even standing beside Mimi. Her perfection over rules my own look in such a way that I can't even explain. It seems as though I only like her for her looks, but that isn't true at all. I'm admiring her, and it takes me at least two weeks to go through each of her qualities in turn. This week is obviously her beauty. At this rate, I'll probably need to maintain good health, as I have to live until quite old if I'm planning to continue what I've already started. It's weird, how she can take over my mind without even being near me. I find it hopeless, and I ache to be near her. I live in my sorrows. I live in her letters and my own fond memories, even if half of them are fragments of my wild imagination. And I will always live in hope that I will get to be with her forever.
It most likely seems that I'm too young to be thinking these things, but I, myself, find that my mind is much more mature than my body. Mimi and Sora have always told me I was very attractive, but I find it very hard to believe. Though I do literally turn assorted shades of red when Mimi tells me this. Flattery gets you everywhere.
I've always wondered if Mimi was only nice to me because she felt bad for me. I've always been a lost soul, a silent drifter from my friends, never bothering to share my emotions with them, too afraid of what they would think of me. So in the clutter of my pea-sized room, I take it out on anything possible. Whether it be wrecking my walls and bed or hugging my pillow close to me to keep myself from losing affection for any living thing.
At night, I often try to find Mimi wherever she is, playing out her vibrant smile in my mind, and I try to place my heart in hers, for safe-keeping, in case I loose it.
I can feel my throat tighten as loneliness and guilt overcomes me, flooding my thoughts with their unpleasantness. I have no idea why I am sitting here alone in the dark, as though mourning over a lost one, when I'm going to be seeing Mimi in but a few hours. I can see my eyes brighten up in the mirror and find myself smiling oddly. I haven't seen my smile in quite some time, and immediately notice how much color it brings back to my face.
I stand up, remembering suddenly that I had a headache, which appears to be gone from me now. It most likely got frightened away with my thoughts, and couldn't bear to stay in my mind any longer.
I glance at the clock, taking note of the time and then skip over to the bathroom for my shower. I quickly peel off my shirt and smirk at myself. Working out pays off quite a bit. I run an icy hand down my arm, feeling the smooth ripples of my slowly forming muscles.
Now, I feel conceited.
I raise my brow delicately and sigh heavily and I strip myself of my pants and boxers, stepping over the tub to turn on the shower water. I gasp a little, as the water beats down in freezing drops, then turns to warm wisps of water. I close my eyes and stand there for a bit, breathing in the soft humidity. I lather up some soap and spread it on my body, watching expressionless as it gets sprayed away with the water. My nerves begin to act up again and I find that my stomach is lurching in an odd manner.
Once I'm done I get out of the shower, pulling the curtain across to dry and wrapping a blue towel around my waist. I run my hand across the foggy mirror trying to clear it from the steam without prevailing. I turn on the tap and splash cold water on my face.
Straightening up to my full height again, I can barely see the top of my hair. I didn't realize I was growing so much. Maybe it's just the way the mirror is placed.
I walk over to my room, drying myself to the extreme. My hair is still wet, and it curling up into little strands of dark blonde on my head, falling annoyingly right on top of my eyes, ruining my vision. I shake it with a towel and brush a comb through it, taking my gel and styling my hair in its usual style. I grab a polo t-shirt from my chair and slip it on, along with my boxers and a pair of loose jeans.
I sigh, rubbing my eyes, trying to get rid of the puffiness in them.
I hear the phone ring and I nearly jump out of my skin. I turn around quickly and dart onto my bed to retrieve the receiver.
"Hello?"
"Hey!" I hear. It's kind of blurry, which most likely means she's on a payphone.
"Are you coming to the movies?" Mimi asks, a little hint of excitement in her voice.
I smile slightly and nod, breathing her voice in and trying to remember the sound for future thoughts. Am I obsessed? I ask myself, sudden reality hits me. My eyes grow wide as this realization comes to mind. Shit.
"Hello?" A confused voice asks.
"Y-Yeah, for sure I'm coming Mimi, I'll be there soon! Bye!"
I hang up without letting her say her farewell and rollover onto my back.
Am I obsessed with someone I only see every 6 months? Could it be that I'm so in love with her that I can't find myself with her, so I become fanatical and imagine her in my mind, just because I want it that way? ...So, I live in my mind, and not reality. In reality we are nothing more than friends, in reality I am besotted with someone without even knowing it. In reality, Mimi would never fall in love with me.
I get up, looking at the time, and leave to find Taichi's father waiting in the driveway once more. And as we drive to the movies, I find nothing but these terrorizing thoughts in my head...