Mily – Yeah, Krang's pretty bad, but I don't think he's more hated than any of the cast from the Next Mutation!
Rene - … … …Venus has a fanbase? ::Waits with Rene:: Somehow I don't think they're coming! Actually, when you think about it, I probably am Venus' entire fanbase --! I hate Spyware with a passion as well. Before I started writing this fic, my computer was infected with it (along with numerous Trojan Horses… I kind of have the touch of death when it comes to computers!) so I had to get it seen to. Then, ironically, between posting chapters 6 and 7, my computer was infected again and I had to get the hard drive wiped (they managed to save all my Word documents though!). Yes, although wombats seem cute and cuddly, just like the rest of Australia's fluffy wildlife, they really are evil on the inside. Wombats are really good for rehabilitation, in that when they're little, they can be tamed quite easily, though for some reason, when they hit about two years of age, they suddenly turn feral and territorial. I once had to clean out a wombat enclosure, and I was told by the zoo keeper that if I was attacked, I should put my foot on the wombat's head. I guess that incident just reminded me of what I would probably do with Wick!
Author's Note: This is the second to last chapter. I don't really know when the final one will be posted since my HSC exams start next week. Since I've been trying to break every fanfiction rule, I've started to question as to what makes a good fic. I've added a new page to my website with just some of my thoughts and things I've discovered during my time writing fanfiction, and I'd love it if other writers could build on it. Hopefully the FAQ for this story will be done on my website soon as well.
Chapter Eight: Sure We're Ready.
Raphael growled as he sat straight up on the table. With a tremendous snarl on his face, he ripped the sheet off himself and leapt off the metallic bench. "I'm angry!" Raphael howled. With a straight-legged jerky walk, the furious turtle stormed out of the room. Curious and worried at the same time, Don and Venus both rushed to the door of the carriage in order to safely observe Raphael from a distance. "I'm hungry!" Raph roared; the growling being emitted by his stomach was equal in volume to the growls he was giving through his clenched teeth. Absolutely starving, Raphael ripped off the fridge's door by the handle and cried out in fury when he found that there still wasn't any food. Venus raised an eye-ridge at Raphael's sudden increase in strength and looked towards Donatello for an answer.
"My machine made him half cyborg… remember?" Don reminded her.
"So he's now like the Terminator?" Venus asked.
"No. He's more of a Robo-Raph," Don suggested. "But don't worry. The metal that is now coursing through his veins is all organic, and in about a week or two he'll excrete it all out and return to his normal fleshy self," Donatello said. Venus' overworked eye-ridge continued to stay up.
"You're so full of bullshit," Venus acknowledged, causing Donatello to smile in an all-knowing response as his bizarre and illogical explanation had just avoided the creation of another plot hole. Ninjalara would be pleased.
"At least he's no longer out of character," Don shrugged before crossing his arms and leaning on the door frame.
"Nope… Just heavily stereotyped," Venus sighed.
"I'm angry! Must hurt Leonardo!" Raphael growled as he trudged over to Mary Sue and her pet blue-wearing mutant turtle.
"Raph! What's your problem? I don't want to fight!" Leo called out in protest as Raphael roughly grabbed him by the arm.
"I like fighting!" Raphael screamed loudly in a robotic monotone voice. Wondering what all the commotion was about, Splinter finally emerged from his bedroom; once he had checked that the coast was clear from fangirls.
"What is the meaning of this!?" Splinter demanded as he watched his two sons fight. "Raphael! Leonardo! Stop fighting immediately!" Splinter barked out his orders. To his surprise, Raphael suddenly backed off.
"I've been yelled at by Splinter. Splinter likes Leonardo better. Entering whiny suicidal angst mode," Raphael said, once again with a monotonous tone. Venus groaned and hung her head in her hands as she started to become embarrassed for Raph's sake. She jumped in shock when she noticed that Ninjalara was standing right beside her.
"What did you do to him!?" Lara asked with a worried tone.
"He was getting too out of character. Making him a stereotypical uncontrollable angry robot was the only solution," Donatello quickly summarised.
"I would have just killed him off," Lara said simply. Donatello and Venus gave her a blank look. Lara shrugged. "It would have easier…" she tried to explain her point of view. Don snarled in response.
"If you even touch my brother, I'll report you to the immigration department!" Don threatened, causing Lara to back off the subject immediately.
"Yes! Yes! Kill the turtles!" Wick babbled in agreement with Ninjalara. Everyone groaned upon hearing his annoying voice again.
"What are we going to do with him?" Venus whined tiredly while she pointed to the vertically challenged dragon. With conniving smirks on their lips, Michelangelo and Casey leapt off the couch with a plan in mind. Using his swift ninjitsu skills, Mike grabbed Wick by the neck and stuffed him back into the brown sack, which was later tied off with a twist tie. Getting his baseball bat ready, Mike threw the body-filled bag into the air so that Casey could hit it like a ball. Along with a loud screech of pain, Wick was whacked across the room, landing on a train carriage's roof.
"Problem solved!" Mike announced with a proud smile on his face. Casey put down his bat and dusted his hands for dramatic emphasis.
"Now we just have to get rid of that Mary Sue," Venus whispered to Donatello. After a simple nod of acknowledgment, both turtles turned to face Ninjalara as though they were expecting her to do something. After a couple of seconds of being stared at weirdly, Lara began to feel self-conscious and nervous.
"What!?" she asked, wondering why she deserved such odd looks.
"Have you thought of a way to get rid of Mary Sue yet?" Venus anxiously asked. It was Lara's turn to give a blank look.
"I'm doing what now?" the girl wondered, getting confused. Venus sighed.
"Yesterday you said that you could help us in trying to defeat Mary Sue," Venus wearily reminded her once again. Lara continued to give her a blank look.
"Oh… yeah," Lara pretended that she knew what the turtle was talking about. "Sorry, I'm a bit slow. Must be the Writer's Block," Lara made up an excuse.
"Yeah, Writer's Block," Don rolled his eyes, this time seeing right through her bluff.
"I need to recover from my Writer's Block first so-"
"-What do you want this time?" Don asked with a sigh, knowing the game the author was playing.
"Season three DVDs of CSI," Lara stated her terms. With a groan, Don reentered his room and emerged a minute later with the goods. With a large smile on her face, Lara grabbed the laser disks off him and headed back over to the couch where she had seemed to have taken up residence.
"You know, I don't think Ninjalara's going to help us," Venus thought out loud. Don groaned.
"I wish you could have admitted that earlier so that I didn't have to fork over my DVD collection!" Donatello started to raise his voice in annoyance, since the only reason he cooperated with Lara that time was because he thought that Venus would appreciate it.
"I guess it's only you and me now," Venus sighed, feeling alone in the war against Mary Sue.
"Wasn't it always just us?" Don muttered in wonderment to himself. "You see, Ninjalara's like Norton's Internet Security 2004; she looks like she can help us, however she can also be easily corrupted and overrun by the Trojan Horses and Spyware, in which she then becomes too powerful to be properly utilised," Don analysed.
"… Oookay. Can you stop with the computer analogies already!?" Venus asked wearily.
"…Sorry. Can't help it," Don admitted while he adopted Venus' contagious eye twitch.
"So what's our new plan?" Venus asked while she looked at Donatello as though he knew the answer to everything. He simply grumped in response.
"I dunno. I'm tired," Don admitted grumpily with a yawn. "Goodnight Venus," he said simply before closing his bedroom door in her face before she had the chance to convince him to get rid of Mary Sue right then and there. She sighed angrily before deciding to finally turn in for the night as well.
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Monday evening
"Donatello!" Venus whined as she sat outside his bedroom while she lazily kicked and tapped her foot on his locked door. "Donny!" she whined again. After waiting for him to emerge all day, Donatello finally slid open the door and leapt out in excitement.
"I have a solution!" he announced, extraordinarily happy.
"What, what, what?" Venus asked impatiently while she jumped up from her position on the floor.
"After doing some thorough and in-depth research, I've discovered a way to get rid of Mary Sue!" Don exclaimed.
"What, what, what?" Venus asked again, growing more and more impatient.
"Well, you know how Mary Sue is absolutely perfect…" Don started his explanation.
"Yeah…" Venus said, wondering what he was getting at.
"Well, we need to find a character who is completely imperfect. Someone who is flawed in every way," Don said with bright eyes.
"Why?" Venus asked, getting confused.
"Well, let's say that Mary Sue is an alkali. If you add an acid, that is, and imperfect character to the mix, then the two characters will balance each other out. Hence, neutralisation," Don said with a wide smile on his face.
"But where do we find such a character?" Venus questioned.
"I've already figured that part out, though it is a long shot. Have you ever heard of Bloody Mary?" Donatello asked.
"The mirror witch? But that's an urban legend," Venus said.
"As I said; it's a long shot. Rumours have it that she was disfigured horribly in a car accident and will scratch someone's eyes out if they dare to summon her," Donatello told Venus as though he was retelling a ghost story.
"I thought she was the ghost of the ruthless English Queen Mary," Venus thought out loud.
"Maybe, maybe not. We won't know until we summon her," Don said. His excitability was starting to scare Venus.
"Summon her!? Are you crazy? You said so yourself that she'll scratch our eyes out!" Venus protested.
"Do you want to get rid of Mary Sue or not?" Don asked, starting to blackmail her. Venus frowned and crossed her arms, not sure as to whether she liked this plan or not.
"Okay, okay," Venus finally relented. "So how do you think we should summon her?" Venus reluctantly asked.
"Well, from what I read, at midnight, you go into a bathroom that has a large mirror in it all by yourself. You then close the door, turn off the lights and light a candle. You chant the words 'Bloody Mary' twelve times and in the mirror she'll appear," Donatello explained.
"And then she'll scratch your eyes out," Venus added cynically.
"Well… yeah. But remember that this is part urban legend," Don said.
"…I thought that you only had to chant her name three times," Venus wondered as she started to remember the version of the myth that she had been told.
"…Maybe it was only five?" Don pondered, getting himself confused.
"Are you sure that you needed a candle?" Venus questioned.
"…I think so," Donatello answered, becoming unsure. "Maybe you don't have to do it at midnight exactly. Maybe you just have to do it when it's dark," Donatello reasoned. Venus numbly nodded.
"So who's going to summon her?" Venus finally asked. Silence quickly fell between them.
"…I thought you were going to," Don said quietly.
"Me!?"
"Well you're the spiritual one!" Don defended his decision. "You're the one who really believes in all this supernatural stuff," he added onto his reasoning.
"But it was your idea! You can't just think up crazy solutions and expect me to participate!" Venus complained.
"Fine, I'll go," Don said with a frown. "But the summoning usually only works with females," Don said afterwards.
"Why?" Venus asked, getting curious.
"Because girls get scared more easily," Don muttered under his breath, making sure that Venus didn't hear a word he said.
"What?"
"Nothing," Don lied. "I'll go," he said again, getting determined. Sucking in a deep breath, Don slowly meandered his way to the bathroom causing Venus to raise an eye-ridge.
"Did you mean that you're going to summon her now? I thought it had to be done at midnight," Venus asked, getting the urban legend confused once again.
"Can't hurt to try and do it early. It's night after all," Don replied with a tiny shrug. He gulped and entered the dark bathroom, making sure he closed the door behind him. Don emerged a few seconds later.
"Well? Did it work?" Venus asked as the curiosity and suspense was almost killing her.
"No… I got too scared," Donatello meekly admitted. Venus simply rolled her eyes.
"I guess that means that I'll have to do it," Venus said with a sigh. Feeling a wave of courage rippling through her body, she stormed past Donatello and slammed the bathroom door shut. A minute passed, then a second. Donatello nervously twiddled his thumbs while he waited for a response. When he was just about to enter the bathroom, Venus opened the door once again.
"Did it work?" the question automatically slipped past his trembling lips. Venus nodded.
"I had to say it six times," Venus said while she stepped aside so that Donatello could view the character behind her. Don almost gagged in response.
Bloody Mary was a human-like creature though her graying, wrinkling skin reminded Donatello of an elephant. Her long, black hair was matted and greasy, completely filled with split ends, while her black plain dress was wet, tattered and torn, and judging from the smell, it seemed as though the piece of clothing was dipped in faeces. Her hands were gnarled and blistered, while her yellow fingernails had grown so long that they were starting to curl. Bloody Mary's face was even worse, and gave the words 'train wreck' a whole new meaning. Her eyes had too much melanin, and as a result, it looked like she had no pupils; her eyes were entirely black. Scars lined her face, along with numerous warts that seemed to be fermenting a new species of light green puss. Her smile could barely be seen, since she had so few teeth, all of which were rotted and chipped, while her breath smelled of vile and vomit. Out of everything else, it was her overall smell of sour milk that made Don's own stomach churl with disgust.
With a rickety and limping walk on her scratched and cut feet, she slowly moved her way over to Donatello. "I heard there is a Mary Sue infestation here," Bloody Mary's words hit the air with a deadly hiss. Donatello stood stock still as Bloody Mary continued to get closer and closer until she was an inch away from Donatello's nose. "Do you find me repulsive?" Bloody Mary asked with deadly intent. Like a frightened little boy, Don's eyes grew wide while he rapidly shook his head from side to side. He gulped, trying to keep himself from throwing up. "Good," Bloody Mary said with a horrible smile. Repulsed, Donatello finally took a step back in order to regain the personal space he had lost.
"Um… I'll make you some tea," Venus excused herself while she hurriedly moved into the kitchen area of the lair. Bloody Mary nodded and slowly walked over to the one of the chairs at the dinner table. Feeling awkward and not wanting to be rude, Don also sat at the table, though he tried to sit as far away as possible. Venus returned a few minutes later with a cup of tea for each of them. With his eyes still fearfully glued to Bloody Mary, Donatello took his cup from Venus without looking and started to sip it as though it was alcohol. The room fell silent as they each just sat and drank their tea. Donatello finally got over the initial shock of how hideous Bloody Mary was, but like Venus, he now didn't know if he should look at her or not.
"So where's this Mary Sue of yours?" Bloody Mary hissed her question.
"Um… she's currently out dating my brother," Donatello answered absentmindedly.
"She's what!?" Venus exclaimed, turning to Donatello wanting more of an explanation. Don simply bit his lip, knowing that he had just let his concentration lapse. Bloody Mary grinned at Venus' reaction.
"Tough luck dear. He's already been taken," Bloody Mary said with an indecent wink, quickly catching on as to what was happening. Silence fell between them once again.
"If you don't mind me asking, what Mary are you? Are you Mary Worth, the car crash victim, or Queen Mary?" Donatello finally built up the guts to ask.
"I'm nothing, but yet I'm reality. I am all the of the built up emotions developed in all of the Mary Sue's wangsty pasts that are never properly explored realistically," Bloody Mary tried to explain.
"So, you're the physical entity of horror, while Mary Sues are the physical entities of perfection?" Don queried, quickly catching on. Bloody Mary simply nodded.
"Mary Sue and I can appear in almost any story, although it is Mary Sue who is summoned more frequently," Bloody Mary said with a snarl.
"…But we didn't summon Mary Sue," Venus said, getting confused.
"Well, Mary Sue was summoned so often that one day she just decided to do her own thing," Bloody Mary explained grumpily. "Of course, no one wants to summon me to that extent…" she grumped.
"Lots of people say that you scratch their eyes if they summon you," Don noted.
"I do," Bloody Mary admitted as she took another sip of her tea. Venus' eye-ridges furrowed.
"Then why didn't you scratch mine out?" Venus innocently wondered.
"Because I only injure girls who are prettier than myself," Bloody Mary said before taking another sip. Venus frowned and glowered in response.
A few lyrical laughs could be heard from outside the lair. Bloody Mary stood up as Mary Sue and Leonardo merrily climbed down the ladder. As soon as Mary Sue smelt the sour milk odour, she froze in her spot, knowing exactly who the newcomer was. "You!" she called out angrily while she pointed at the hideous creature.
"You!" Bloody Mary said, doing the same gesture. After sharing evil looks and glares, Mary Sue suddenly freaked out and scrambled back up the ladder. The final chase sequence had begun! With a cruel smile planted on her face, Bloody Mary reached into a chest pocket on her black dress and pulled out a long twisted dagger. Venus grinned with delight, simply loving every moment of the drama uncurling before them. With a look of twisted pleasure in her eyes, Bloody Mary started to run after Mary Sue, knife raised in hand. Alas, she didn't get that far.
While running, Bloody Mary's wrinkled feet got caught amongst the tatters of her own black dress, causing her to fall down onto her own knife. She lay motionless on the floor of the lair for the next couple of minutes. Venus and Donatello looked on in silence while Leonardo tried to get Mary Sue to come back. "Do you think she's dead?" Venus asked. Don shrugged.
"Unfortunately imperfect characters don't last that long," Don sighed. The purple-wearing turtle quietly walked over to the rack of weapons that was located near the lair's ladder entrance and retrieved his bo. He returned next to Venus' side and started to prod Bloody Mary with the bo, not wanting to touch her with his own fingers. "I think she's dead," Don said when Bloody Mary didn't stir. Donatello continued to prod her, regardless of his proclamation.
"Okay… You can stop poking her now," Venus said. Donatello still continued to prod her with his bo, though now it was more out of desperation. Bloody Mary was their last hope. After several minutes of prodding, Don had poked Bloody Mary so much that her body suddenly self collapsed and turned into a pile of soot. Both Venus and Donatello raised an eye-ridge.
"Okay… I'm officially grossed out now," Don admitted while he threw his contaminated bo aside. "What are we going to do now!? That was my last idea!" Don said despairingly. A sad stillness entered the room while both turtles remained silent. After a few minutes had passed, Venus' eyes soon lit up with hope once again.
"I've got it! I've just thought of the best foolproof plan!" Venus yelled out in excitement, causing Donatello to grin widely. He didn't really care what it was, as long as it was better than their last harebrained scheme.
To be continued…