Ramica – I think I actually heard about how some parts of North America have feral kangaroo. I have no idea how they got there though…
Rene – Yeah, I love CSI. In Australia it's currently the most popular overseas program. CSI: Miami goes off the plot sometimes, though I am looking forward to the New York spin-off that's supposed to be happening soon. I just hope that they don't overuse the genre, like they've done with reality television, home improvement shows and hospital dramas. For some reason Norton 2004 programs don't work well on old computers, so the Spyware I had simply butted heads with the anti-virus and nothing was accomplished in the end o.0! I've changed that sentence so it makes sense. Now with the new editing features in Document Manager, it makes it really easy to fix mistakes quickly!
Author's Note: There's a few heavy issues that are raised in this chapter, but they're not intended to be taken seriously and are only an example of the character's sheer desperation. Anyway, this is the final chapter and I'd like to thank everyone for reading and reviewing, and I hope that you've all enjoyed this fic. After my exams, I'll be writing fanfiction again, and my next fic will be a tragedy that Splinter fans will be sure to hate. I'll also be planning on writing the second part to Can't Wash It Away, once I've resurrected it and changed all the horrible mistakes, and typed around all the Mary Sues o.0!
Chapter Nine: A Shower of Pities.
Midday, Central Park. One week later…
Leonardo lovingly smiled as he pushed back the white veil that was covering Mary Sue's face. As he was allowed, Leo leaned in and kissed Mary Sue on the lips, and just like in teen movies, for some reason everyone clapped. Everyone, that is, except Venus. She glared as the newly wedded couple walked together down the isle in preparation for the reception that followed the service. Venus gritted her teeth when she noticed the large bulge that had developed over Mary Sue's abdomen; a shotgun wedding, as Mike had dubbed it. Donatello had predicted that the baby was due tomorrow, though it baffled everyone as to how and why Mary's developed so fast in the womb, especially when compared to Venus' pregnancy which had barely even begun in comparison, even though Venus conceived first.
Venus' foolproof plan had backfired horrendously. She had told Don that she wanted to fall pregnant with Leonardo so that, out of honour and respect for the child, he would have to be with her and not Mary Sue. Confused and disgusted with her drastic and illogical reasoning, Donatello explained to her that she was about to commit sexual assault, yet Venus blindly replied that males can't get raped, causing Donatello to roll his all-knowing eyes in response for many minutes afterwards. Eventually Donatello reluctantly agreed to aid Venus in seducing Leo, and helped by purchasing a LOT of bottles of alcohol. Unfortunately, to get Leonardo drunk enough, Venus had to coax him by drinking with him, and then both turtles ended up passing out on the couch and nothing was achieved. The whole incident was then edited out by Ninjalara who claimed that there were too many drug and sexual references. So when Venus finally became conscious again, she believed that her desperate scheme had worked, while Leonardo, with no prior knowledge of the plan beforehand, simply went on having a blissful relationship with Mary Sue, who was later accidentally knocked up later in the week.
Donatello was shocked to find out the next day when Venus claimed that she had passed the pregnancy test. Confused and partly worried, he got her to check another five times, with each test coming back positive. Being one of the only ones who knew the truth about the whole 'seducing Leo' incident, he was certain that the zygote was not Leo's child. After finally stealing Ninjalara's plot outline when she wasn't looking, Donatello was able to read what the author had edited out and was stunned when he found out that the baby was indeed his. Still appalled that Venus felt she had to stoop so morally low in order to win Leo over Mary Sue, at that point in time Donatello didn't want to rain on her parade about how 'successful' her plan was. Yet when Leo couldn't comprehend Venus' story, and picked Mary anyway when she fell pregnant, Don found that he was too worried about the consequences if he came out and told the truth of the matter.
With Venus being so focused on getting rid of Mary Sue that she was willing to do anything, and with Donatello's indecisive ways as to whether he should help Venus win Leo's heart or not, despite his own feelings for the matter, the two turtles only ever succeeded in making their lives worse overall. Mary Sue eventually won, and they had failed miserably.
Sitting beside Venus for the ceremony, Donatello watched with an upraised eye-ridge as Venus poured herself another glass of champagne and drank it in one go. "Um… I don't think you should be drinking alcohol when you're pregnant. Surveys have shown that it can lead to brain damage and abnormalities in the child," Don calmly advised her.
"Well if Leo cared about his baby, then he would have picked me!" Venus retorted as she poured herself another glass.
"Yeah… Leo's baby," Donatello muttered. He watched fearfully as Venus swiftly drank another glass and could have sworn he heard a few of his baby's brain cells pop in protest.
"I swear she stole my idea," Venus hissed through her teeth.
"Stole what?" Donatello replied, not knowing what she was complaining about now.
"She stole my idea! The whole pregnancy routine. I bet she found out about my plan and therefore she had to copy me! She's not original. There's no way a girl as perfect as her can get 'accidentally' pregnant!" Venus started to rant.
"Well, if you felt so strongly against Leo and Mary's relationship, why didn't you jump up and complain about something when they said 'speak now or forever hold your peace'?" Donatello asked, wanting to move on from the constant topic of Mary Sue. Venus frowned, knowing Don was right, and remained silent for the next couple of minutes. It wasn't long till she found something else to complain about.
"I can't believe that Ninjalara got to be the bridesmaid! It should have been me," Venus fumed.
"Well maybe it's because you plotted to kill the bride for a whole week," Don replied with a roll of his eyes.
"Hmm, guess so," Venus agreed, remembering all the bad things she had done. Seeing that most of the guests were now moving towards the buffet tables that were set up to the side, Donatello decided to get up and join the cue, standing right behind Michelangelo. Venus naturally followed. Sighing, glad for the silence, Donatello closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the midday sun. The chatter of children playing caught his attention, so he patiently observed them from a distance while he waited for the line to move. It wasn't long till his eye-ridges furrowed in confusion.
"Venus… how come we're in broad daylight and nobody's looking at us suspiciously?" Don asked. A massive plot hole was created as soon as Donatello voiced his question. All the wedding guests gasped and gawked as the rift in time grew larger and larger, quickly outgrowing some of the smaller buildings in New York. "That's some mistake she's made," Don said to Venus, while he watched Ninjalara panic. After muttering a few obscene words to herself, Lara pulled out her scroll once again and started to write another Author's Note in order to rectify the problem. Feeling brave, the girl then rushed towards the enormous plot hole and threw the long strip of paper she had written on into the vortex. With a long, rumbling sound and a strong gush of wind, the plot hole slowly started to close.
"Don't do that!" Lara barked angrily at Donatello.
"Do what?" Don shrugged innocently.
"Point out plot holes! I told you not to do that!" Lara furiously argued.
"Oh, as if the Reviewers aren't going to pick up on that massive plot hole. They would have sensed it right from the beginning of this chapter!" Donatello replied with a smirk.
"Don't make me turn this into a Care Bears crossover! If you point out another one, I swear I'm gonna do it!" Lara threatened.
"And if you do bring in the Care Bears, I'll report you for deportation!" Donatello blackmailed straight back. Lara pouted as soon as she heard Don's words. Backing off once again under Don's threat, she quietly lined up with the rest of the guests and waited for her turn for the buffet.
"You know, she's kinda cute when she's angry," Mike commented to both Raph and Don who were standing either side of him.
"Grrr! I'm angry!" Raphael stereotypically stated. Wanting to prove how angry he really was, Raphael needlessly smashed a plate. Feeling slightly rude, Casey smashed a plate as well, causing the other turtles to look at him suspiciously. It wasn't long till Casey realised his impulsive mistake.
"Sorry. Thought it was a Greek wedding for a few seconds there," Casey said, feeling embarrassed while he guiltily reached for another plate.
"Should I ask Ninjalara out? Do you think I have a chance with her?" Mike asked Don, already in search of another female character to chase. Donatello thought about his two questions for a few seconds.
"…No," Don answered simply. Mike frowned, not really satisfied with his answer.
"Why not?" he curiously asked.
"I wouldn't know where to start, Mikey," Donatello muttered.
"Hey, what happened to Wick?" Venus asked the two turtles in front of her. Donatello and Michelangelo both gave her a fearful look. They had wondered where that rotting carcass smell was coming from…
"Um… I'm sure he's lying around somewhere," Mike commented before trying to innocently whistle a tune.
"So now that Leo's no longer single, what are you going to do?" Donatello asked Venus with hopeful intent, quickly moving away from the previous topic. The female turtle sighed.
"Well, since Raph's still acting stereotypical, and Mike has currently got his eye on Ninjalara, I guess I have no choice but to stay single," Venus said with dismay.
"Yeah… single," Donatello grumped.
"So what are you going to do?" Venus asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Mary Sue fixed and invented all the stuff you've ever dreamed of. What are you going to do with the rest of your life? Have you thought of a new purpose?" Venus asked.
"I have to admit that I actually had some fun in plotting to kill Mary Sue. It took my mind off other things," Donatello smiled with fondness. "I'll find something to do. Who knows? I might help Mike in trying to get Ninjalara to like him," Don muttered with a shrug.
After minutes of mindless conversation, Donatello and Venus finally reached the buffet table. Though just before Don could pile something onto his plate, Ninjalara jumped the cue. "You can't cut in!" Don protested.
"Of course I can. I'm the author," Ninjalara commented.
"That's a lousy excuse," Don frowned. Sighing angrily, Ninjalara waved her hands, and out of nowhere, a small, blue cuddly bear appeared.
"We care!" the creature spoke while outstretching its arms, wanting a hug from Donatello. Don and Venus immediately jumped back with a yelp. Amused and satisfied with their reaction, Ninjalara waved her hands again causing the Care Bear to disappear. Venus shuddered while Don clutched his plastron as though he was about to have a heart attack.
"That was too close!" Venus panted with shock.
"Man that thing freaked me out!" Don said while starting to respect the author's powers.
"I'm still freaked out by the fact that I'm writing about myself in third person," Ninjalara commented with a shrug and a smirk while grabbing as much food as she could. Satisfied with her collection, she turned and left the buffet table, with Mike following close behind.
Donatello and Venus continued to stand in a shocked silence. Catching each other's frightened gaze, they both couldn't help but giggle at their expressions. Then, unexpectedly, Donatello felt as though something passed between them. Suddenly feeling as though he had nothing to lose, he boldly spoke up. "So…" he started. "Wanna make out?" he finally verbalised what he wanted to say for the past week and a half.
Venus raised an eye-ridge at his bold request. Biting her lip, she looked around at the party that was being held before them, only to find Raphael acting like the jackass he was, and Michelangelo attempting to chat up Ninjalara. Then she saw them. Mary Sue's family members. There were three more female mutant turtles. One had ruby coloured hair, complete with a red bandanna and twin sai. She had a permanent smirk on her face and a wicked glare to match. The next one had orange hair with a matching bandanna. Venus watched and scowled as the female played irresponsibly with her nunchucks. The last family member had hair that was a beautiful violet colour while wearing a silky purple bandanna. Venus' eyes grew wide with fear when she noticed the long wooden bo she delicately held in her hands, while recognising the token glasses that she wore on her face symbolising that she was a stereotypical nerd.
Without warning, Venus suddenly threw herself at Donatello, wanting at least one male turtle to herself. Falling to the floor due to Venus' momentum, although Don thought she was quite aggressive in her approach, in the end he simply didn't mind. Venus, however, just didn't want Don to see the other Mary Sues that were multiplying around the place. For the next few minutes, the couple rolled around on the grass and passionately kissed each other in a mad frenzy, earning themselves whistles of excitement from Casey; everyone else just tended to ignore them, thinking that Venus was completely drunk.
"Wow!" Donatello gulped and blushed when Venus finally allowed him to breathe again. He didn't really expect her to even kiss him, let alone make out. Venus could only smile in response, feeling completely exhilarated at what she had just done on impulse. A shadow of a figure then towered over the two turtles. Feeling slightly embarrassed about how open they were with their feelings, Don and Venus slowly stood up again. Yet when Venus saw the person in front of her, her eyes almost popped right out of her head.
Venus gawked at the tall, male ninja turtle - admiring his muscular physique and healthy green skin. Her eyes twinkled when she observed his shiny, short blonde hair and dazzling sapphire eyes. His teeth were of a brilliant white and his aqua bandanna, kai mi weapons and belts were in perfect condition, as though he was just a model dressed up as a warrior. "What's, what's your name?" Venus managed to utter. The male gave her a perfect smile and stood with his hands on his hips, creating a heroic aura.
"Gary Stu," the male replied with a deep, sexy voice. Donatello watched and groaned as Venus and Gary walked off together, completely ignoring his existence. Sighing in defeat, Donatello decided to search for the Mary Sue that was created with the sole purpose of hooking up with him.
After finishing her lunch, Ninjalara quietly looked around the party and sighed with success when she noticed that she had paired up everyone for no apparent reason. Grinning like a Cheshire cat in satisfaction, Lara sat for a few more minutes and pondered whether she should make a craptacular sequel. After a few more minutes of thinking, Lara quickly became bored. Stretching as she got up from the table she was dining at, Lara turned and started to walk across Central Park, back towards the city. And so her long and arduous journey to the Australian Embassy in Washington DC began, hoping against hope that they'll deport her without any questions asked.
The End?