A/N: Before you read the next chapter I would like to recommend some other OUTIM fanfics which I think are particularly wonderful.

The first is 'Sons of Mexico' by Mojave Dragonfly.

The second is 'Smoke gets in your eyes' by E.S. Young which is the sequel to 'The Long Way Home'.

Anyone who hasn't read them I strongly recommend that you check them out, because they are really, really good! Both these fanfics are being regularly updated.

I hope you enjoy this chapter......oh, and thank you to all my reviewers!

Chapter 5: Nightmares

"Senor? Are you waiting for someone?" Nino asked. Sands was sitting by the window apparently listening for something. His concentration had been so great that very unusually he jumped when Nino spoke.

"No," he said irritably, "Just leave me alone." Nino retreated without question. He was disappointed, he had thought the arrival of Evelyn might bring about a change in Sands, maybe bring the smile back to his face but he was still refusing to let anyone in. Nino sighed, he heard the screams in the night, he knew Sands hadn't been able to sleep well since it had happened. Some wounds never heal; some nightmares are just too terrible and run too deep. Nino shivered then looked around for something to do. He didn't play like other children his age, he had lost the will to spend his time in this manner a long time ago when his father had lost his job and Nino had needed to help raise the money required to feed his family. He had sold chewing gum from a basket on the front of his bicycle for two years before meeting Sands, and he did not regret meeting him one bit. Nino checked the cupboards and found Sands was alarmingly low in cigarettes. He would not be at all pleased if he found out.

With Nino gone Sands went out to the backyard. He lined up four glass bottles on the low brick wall at the far end then walked away from them. He reached into his pocket and drew out a small black gun. Four bullets later and all four bottles were smashed. Sands blew the top of the gun which he knew must be smoking and then span round as someone said, "Wow! That was amazing!" Suddenly Evelyn found she had gun pointing at her head, and she had just seen proof of its effectiveness. She put her hands in the air instinctively.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I knocked but no one answered, the door was open...I should have waited outside."

"Yeah, you should have," said Sands as he flicked the safety catch on the gun and placed it back in his pocket. Evelyn lowered her hands feeling anxious.

"But it doesn't matter," said Sands with a small smile, "Anyone else would be dead by now."

"I feel honoured," said Evelyn not sure whether Sands was serious or not, she had a funny feeling he was. She looked down at the remains of the bottles; they were well and truly dead.

"How did you do that?" she asked, "It was really amazing."

"It wasn't," said Sands flatly, "I knew exactly where I'd placed those bottles."

"It's still amazing," maintained Evelyn.

"It's no more than a party trick," said Sands and he walked past her into the house. Evelyn followed him with one last look at the bottles.

Sands had stopped in the middle of the living room, he was almost radiating unhappiness. As Evelyn walked closer she noticed he wasn't wearing his gloves. She touched his hand with hers and he froze. She only touched it briefly, it was cold and she had to resist the temptation to take hold of it and try and warm it with her own. The fact Sands had a gun in his pocket went a long way to putting her off even trying this.

"Where's Nino?" she asked instead.

"Cigarettes," replied Sands shortly.

"Oh right." There was an awkward silence.

"I'm eating in town today," said Sands.

"Oh," said Evelyn.

"Do you..?" Sands left the question unfinished.

"Do I want to join you?" Evelyn guessed.

"Mm," said Sands in an offhand voice.

"Sure," said Evelyn with a smile, "I'd love to."

It wasn't a restaurant Sands usually went to, but Evelyn liked it so Sands was willing to accommodate. It was late. They had long since finished their meal; Evelyn had been pleased to see Sands eat something this time. The candles on their table were burning low; all the other candles were out. They were the last ones in the restaurant but no one came and told them to leave. Evelyn had the distinct impression they knew what Sands kept in his pocket.

"It must be late," said Sands, "Nino?"

"I told him he could go home," said Evelyn, "He was exhausted, poor kid."

"Oh," said Sands and a frown appeared which creased his forehead.

"I can take you home," Evelyn suggested gently. Sands clearly did not like this idea.

"I can manage," he snapped viscously. He stood up abruptly, turned round and walked straight into a pillar in the middle of the room. Evelyn leapt up and grabbed his hand.

"Fuck," he said under his breath. Evelyn said nothing.

All the way Evelyn could tell Sands wanted to shrug her off, he didn't like accepting her help, and he didn't like needing it. He couldn't bring himself to talk to her.

"Here's your house," said Evelyn and immediately Sands pulled his hand away from her.

"Sands, I..." But Sands was already walking away from her. He did not look back.

The next morning Nino found Sands already awake and already drinking tequila straight from the bottle.

"Senor?" Nino said carefully, "Should you be..?"

"Fuck off," growled Sands violently.

"Senor, did something bad happen last night with..?"

"I said FUCK OFF!" said Sands hotly. Nino backed away; Sands often became violent in situations such as this. He would ask Evelyn what had happened when she stopped by; but she never did.

Nino kept well out of Sands' way. He wanted to help but he knew better than to bother Sands further when he was in this mood. Nino hoped he would snap out of it on his own but as the day wore on Sands steadily drank himself into oblivion. It was mid afternoon when Nino found him vomiting in the backyard. He dealt with it without complaint; Nino was very fond of Sands and a bit of vomit was never going to change that. He would have done anything for him. He helped the semi-conscious man to bed and closed the shutters hoping that Sands would be able to sleep it off. Sands was asleep almost immediately, Nino had learnt to recognise when he was asleep and when he was not as it was not immediately obvious to an untrained eye. Nino checked on him a few times before deciding to risk it. He rarely left Sands alone without telling him where he was going and how long he would be but this time he really felt he needed to.

Evelyn was painting for the first time in months. Her brush caressed the canvas lovingly and Evelyn felt a sense of joy she hadn't felt in a long time as the painting began to take shape. The whole scene was dark and brooding, a street bathed in moonlight. Even the figure was dark; he half blended with the shadows. He had his back to Evelyn but his face was turned towards her as if he was looking over his shoulder. His dark glasses caught the moonlight and glinted. Sands had looked gorgeous last night, the starry sky providing the perfect backdrop for him. She knew it was hard for him to accept her help but she thought if she gave him time he might learn to. Evelyn presumed Sands must have been fully independent not so long ago, reliant on no one and then...then what? What had happened to Sands? Would he ever tell her?

Evelyn washed her brushes, the dark paint swirling round the small sink discolouring it for a moment before the water washed it away. She needed to wait for the first layer of paint to dry before she could continue with her moonlit scene. Feeling light and carefree she grabbed her key and headed out the door. It was a beautiful day but for some reason there was hardly a soul about. Evelyn sat in the somewhat deserted town square with her book open on her lap, the sun glaring off the page. She wore a wide brimmed hat to protect her eyes so looking up was much more of an effort than usual, as a result she heard Nino before she saw him. He was riding his bicycle ringing the bell as he pedalled furiously down the street.

"Hello Nino," Evelyn called cheerfully. She thought he must be in town to pick up something for Sands.

"Hello senorita," Nino said as he climbed off his bike almost before it had stopped moving.

"Are you shopping again?" Evelyn asked.

"No," said Nino shaking his head, "I am coming to talk with you."

"Oh?" asked Evelyn and she closed her book, "Come and sit down." She removed her hat and felt the sun warm the top of her head. Nino sat down beside her, his legs a few feet off the ground as he sat on the wall.

"Is something wrong?" Evelyn asked, "Is Sands alright?"

"Oh, something is wrong senorita," said Nino seriously. He explained about Sands' tequila filled morning.

"Drinking?" said Evelyn, "Does he do that often?"

"He used to senorita," Nino replied solemnly, "It helps him forget." Evelyn thought for a second then asked, "Do you think I can help in any way?" Nino looked at her hopefully.

Sands woke up but didn't move immediately so anyone watching would still think him asleep. He knew he was in bed, he could feel the pillow under his head. He tried to sit up but his head began to spin horribly.

"Lie back," said a soft voice from close quarters. It seemed like an attractive proposition so Sands did so and his head settled down.

"Evelyn?" he asked.

"Yes, it's me," said Evelyn and she took hold of one of Sands' hands. Sands relaxed and unconsciously squeezed Evelyn's hand; her presence was comforting when he was in so much pain. Evelyn looked down at him; even now he was wearing his dark glasses.

"Do you want me to put your glasses somewhere safe?" she asked reaching over to take them.

"No!" cried Sands vehemently. Startled, Evelyn almost let go of his hand but Sands held onto her and she heard his unspoken plea. For a long time they remained in silence. Evelyn couldn't be sure if Sands was asleep or awake until he spoke.

"I didn't think you'd want to come again after yesterday." Evelyn didn't say anything. Sands heaved a sigh. He wanted Evelyn to stay but the longer she stayed, the more often she came round; the closer he came to trusting her. Trusting her was not worth the risk, not after last time.

"I can't give you what you want," he said heavily.

"You don't know what I want," said Evelyn.

"I can't give you anything." Evelyn shook her head.

"I don't believe you," she said frankly. Sands opened his mouth to speak but Evelyn got there first.

"Sssh," she said, "Don't tell me what you can't do, I'm not interested. Tell me something true, tell me about yourself." Usually Sands would never have considered doing this but evasiveness, mistrust and even downright anger took energy, energy which Sands found difficult to muster right now.

"What do you want to know?" he asked in a tired voice.

"Everything."

"I can't tell you everything," said Sands, "I don't have all day." Evelyn rolled her eyes, even when he was drunk he managed to be sarcastic.

"Anything then."

"Ok. I own twenty seven guns." There was a pause.

"Oh," said Evelyn who was unsure how else to respond. She had wanted information about him rather than his dangerous property but maybe she would have to lead him in the direction she wanted as he seemed quite out of it at the moment. There was a part of her which told her to stop the questioning, told her it was taking advantage of the situation but her curiosity drove her own.

"You said you worked for the CIA," she said hoping this would prompt him to reveal something in that area.

"Yep," said Sands as his hazy mind reminisced on a time which seemed a lifetime ago, "Always got the job done, always got the highest profit I could in the process." He smiled at the memories of all those successful missions, all that money. "Corrupt to the holsters I was, still am. I am a bad man Evelyn." He knew that was an understatement, and that made him smile even more. Evelyn tried to fight the feeling of excitement that statement had just caused; she knew she was blushing again. She changed the subject slightly.

"Have you killed people?" Evelyn asked in a hushed voice.

"All agents kill people," was Sands answer. He sounded very tired now.

"But...?" encouraged Evelyn. Sands gave another smile.

"I killed a lot of people, and not always for the good of the agency. I've never regretted that, oh no, I've never regretted that one bit." He suddenly sounded bitter. "Not after everything that happened." He sighed again.

"I paid a heavy price of course," he said with an ironic smile, "In a way I too have been killed." He winced as his head gave a particularly nasty throb and Evelyn didn't ask any more questions. She didn't know Sands was asleep until his grip on her hand relaxed completely.

Evelyn stayed the night. She was fairly sure Sands wouldn't mind but it was hard to tell what would make his temper flare up at any given time, she decided it was worth the risk. For some reason she couldn't sleep. Perhaps she had too much on her mind; she suspected it had something to do with what she had heard from Sands that evening. Whatever the reason, she was awake to hear the terrible scream that ripped through the house. Evelyn was upright instantly, every nerve tingling. Although silence had now descended Evelyn could still hear that hellish sound echoing round her head. It was the most horrible thing Evelyn had ever heard; it embodied fear, pain and terror all in one frightful note. Several moments passed before Evelyn dared leave her room. As she stepped out everything was quiet and still. She tiptoed past Nino's room but stopped when she saw the door was ajar. She peered in but Nino was not in bed, the covers had been thrown back as if their owner had been in a hurry. Even more afraid now, Evelyn continued to where she had left Sands. She could see the door was open from a fair distance away, and she could hear soft noises coming from inside. She crept closer and looked in from the shadows. She smothered a gasp with the hand that flew to her mouth.

Sands was sitting upright, his face even paler than usual. The dark shades he wore brought the unnatural shade of his skin into sharp contrast. He was shaking uncontrollably like someone struck by flu. There was a fine film of perspiration shining on his face and he was muttering almost inaudibly. Evelyn caught only a few words.

"Not interested in scheme...don't come near me...killing me crossing the line...build them up, watch 'em fall..." Nino was by his side whispering soothingly trying to reach Sands through his delirium but so far it didn't seem to be working. Nino looked up and saw Evelyn watching, he told her with a look that she shouldn't interfere. A few minutes later Sands fell silent, lay back and appeared to relax. Nino delicately wiped the sweat from Sands' brow and continued to talk quietly to him. Evelyn slipped back into her room and closed the door. She found she was shivering herself now. She heard Nino return to his room some time later and everything was still again. She curled up under her sheet and eventually drifted off to sleep, visions of Sands trapped in his nightmare fixed in her head.