Disclaimer- Not mine
Warnings- language
Situation Normal - 2
Goku rested his head on the wall again. Evening was coming, and twilight's shadows were painting the clearing in dark shades of blue and violet.
"I'm going crazy," he mumbled. "Is this what crazy feels like? 'Cause it feels like how I always feel…just hungry." He hugged his stomach, and it responded by crying back to him.
"I hear ya. I hear ya." He punched his torso lightly. "I have nuthin' for ya."
He closed his eyes and tried to go over everything that had happened thus far, puzzling it out. It made his brain hurt, but what else did he have to do? It was better than thinking about food.
First the wall. Well, first I went to pee, than got lost. But I didn't get lost. I went one way and went straight back so that means the others got lost somehow. Well…then…someone got lost, and then the wall. And the wall again. And again. And then Hakkai's footprints. And then Gojou's, and then tripping on that stick…How did that get there? And who put it back? I had thrown it away...
He hadn't touched the stick again. Not after it appeared back where he first tripped over it.
"And what's up with all the cigarette stuff?" He felt the ground with his hands. Bringing his fingers to his mouth, he tasted ash.
He sighed. He was tired, and the coming night was already cooling the air. Even though Gojou was teasing earlier about wanting to sleep out underneath the stars, Goku knew that the kappa had really been with Sanzo. None of them had wanted to sleep outside tonight. He sighed again. Like there was any choice now.
Eyes closed, he listened to the forest. But like the rest of the day, there were no sounds, just quiet and wind and…then somewhere off to his left, he did hear something, like crunching, like someone was walking in the forest. Could it be…
Then a far more distinctive sound reached his ears.
"If I see one more fucking wall, I'm going to- OW! FUCK! WHO PUT THIS STICK HERE?"
Eyes shot open then. Goku sprang to his feet.
"Gojou!" he yelled, looking around, but there was nothing. No sign at all. But he was right there. He'd heard him.
"Gojou!" He tried again, but no answer.
"Stay there!" he called, his voice faltering. "I'll- I'll come to you!" And without looking back, he darted into the forest. Suddenly twilight had turned to night, and everything around him went dark, but he still ran, arms out, shoving branches aside. He was completely blind. What moon there had been the night before was now gone. But he kept running, and his voice, which to his surprise, sounded so desperate and small to his own ears, kept calling out.
"Gojou! I'm coming! I'm sorry! Stay there! I'm coming!" The branches scratched at his face, at his arms and legs, but he didn't slow down. He had to find him. He was there. He wasn't crazy. He had heard him. Gojou, where are you? Don't go-
"Don't go!" He called out, his voice straining as he ran, but he pushed himself further, faster. He was there. He was-
Then Goku struck something hard, and he was thrown back. For a few seconds, his vision was scattered with stars, but then his eyes met only an inky blackness. He moved his hand in front of his face. He could see the bare outlines of it, but not much beyond that. He wasn't blind. He sighed. There's just no light. He crawled forward, his whole body aching and felt ahead. What had he hit?
His fingers fell upon an all too familiar object. The wall. He had been running away, but he was back here, and he had run right into it.
His hand went to his face. Damn, his head hurt. His fingers felt something wet at his nose. Putting them to his mouth, he grimaced at the bitter taste. Great. He could picture Gojou's remark at this. Way to go, saru. Way to get beat up by a wall.
Thinking of Gojou, and of what he had been running towards, the frustration and the loss that had been building up all day spilled out.
"Gojou!"
"Hakkai!"
Goku took a breath and closed his eyes. The next call came out slow and pained, but he tried in his heart to reach the sky with it.
"Sanzoooooooooooooo!"
-----
Sanzo's eyes shot open.
"What the- OW!" He tried to rise, but his head hit something hard. Dazed, both from sleep and the pain, one hand shot up to feel the air, and grasped something hard and round and....Sanzo grimaced. He had hit the steering wheel.
He rose again. This time more slowly. Everything was black, but the steering wheel to his right and the leather squeaking beneath him meant he was still in the jeep. He had fallen asleep. Cursing, he felt around. He couldn't find his gun.
"Hey!" he called. "Turn on your lights!"
The dragon mewed once before his headlights flashed on.
The revolver lay on the seat next to him. He picked it up and moved to slip it back into his robe, but switched halfway. Instead, he just held it. Grabbing the door with his other hand, he opened it and stepped out onto the ground. His body ached from being cramped up all day. He slowly walked around the jeep, shielding his eyes from the light and looked about. Besides the five or so feet in front of the jeep, they were surrounded by complete darkness. He could make out the edges of the trees, but they melted into black.
He leaned against the jeep and finally slipped the gun back into his sleeve. Reaching around, he pulled out his cigarettes.
"It's fucking cold." he muttered as he tried to steady his hand that held his lighter. In a second he had lit the stick, and afterwards he puffed away in silence. Some minutes passed, and Jiipu mewed again.
"I know." Sanzo shook his head. "There's nothing we can do now. We go in there," he motioned to the forest, "and we'd be just as fucked. Best thing to do now is wait till dawn. Then we'll go in and kick some ass."
He stared at the darkness. It was so quiet.
Fuck. He had told them five minutes. What the hell happened?
He tried to think back to the day. The endless driving, the forest, Goku had to piss, Gojou being an ass. Hakkai left too. He had been waiting, and then...he didn't remember after that. He must have just dropped off. But that had been mid-afternoon and now, by the light, it seemed like the middle of the night.
He shifted his eyes to the forest. He remembered now what he had wanted to do before he fell asleep.
He took a few steps forward and stopped. Grabbing his lighter from where he'd placed it on the jeep's hood, he clicked it open and sparked it. Holding it up, he moved over to the back of the jeep, and cautiously walked a few steps towards the woods. Stopping there, he loosened his jeans and let go of what he had been holding for what must have been hours.
Although facing another direction, he never took his eyes from the jeep. Zipping up, he walked back.
"Try to keep your lights on as long as you can."
Jiipu just mewed a reply.
"If you're tired then-"
Then there's nothing we can do. Not till morning. Not till there's real light out.
He sat back down in the front seat and glared out at the forest. He sat there, just watching, going from his second and then third cigarette. He shook the pack. He had enough for awhile. His thoughts flicked to Gojou. The kappa had a full pack that morning, but he knew how fast Gojou went through those. He could imagine that the other was probably struggling right now, wherever he was.
When his head started to lull back on its own, he extinguished his cigarette. If sleep came, it came. It would be better to do that than just sit here in the dark. Besides, if something were going to jump out, it would have done so by now.
As he drifted off, Jiipu's lights still glowing in the front, a thought buzzed in the back of his head, low but steady.
Something had woken him up. What had it been?
Then slipping further away, a voice inside answered the buzz.
It was Goku. Goku had been calling, and he had been calling his name.
Then his mind joined the darkness that surrounded him.
------
Hakkai fished deeper into his pockets in hopes of finding something to build up the fire. The forest floor seemed almost strangely bare, and branches that he had broken off were doing all right but they weren't as dry as he wished. He emptied everything he had on him in front of the fire's dim light. His lighter (the one that Gojou always borrowed when his ran out), some money…
He fingered the bills. He could burn these. They weren't any use here. Another moment and he stuck them back into his pocket. Maybe later.
He threw in some old receipts. (Sanzo won't miss that bar tab...)
He looked back on the ground. What was left were some crumpled tissues, his half torn handkerchief, some chalk sticks, and a pencil. He fingered the chalk. He had been teaching Goku to improve his writing. His small writing tablet was in his bag in the jeep.
He threw the tissues into the fire, and it brightened a little. The stick he had been experimenting with earlier (and had moved twice on its own he noted) he was now using to stir the embers with. Tiny flecks of light sprayed about and disappeared in the air. A thin trail of smoke, barely visible by the low light, snaked its way up towards the tops of the trees. In the back of his mind he hoped that the fire, although dim, would provide both a little warmth from the night's chill as well as a small beacon, just in case.
He went to put everything back into his pockets when an idea struck him. He placed a chalk stick by the wall where he was sitting. Once light came, he would write a message out. The others weren't here now, but they had been at one time. If he leaves the clearing, and they return, at least he can give them a message to stay in one place.
He sighed and looked around. The moon had been half full the night before, but tonight there was no sign of anything in the sky. Just a deep, endless black. Like during the day, the forest was eerily quiet. Even the cracking of the fire seemed muted somehow.
Stirring the embers one more time, he leaned back against the wall, and gazed at the fire. His thoughts returned to that morning, before they had set out. Gojou had been lying earlier when he said he had slept well the night before. An upset stomach kept him up half the night, and this morning, he was barely awake on his feet. He caught the half-youkai trying to light a toothpick in his mouth. Hakkai had handed him his cigarettes, and Gojou just looked from the pack to his lighter, and finally removed the toothpick and flicked it away.
"Thanks." Gojou tore open the pack, pulling one stick out.
"You're welcome." Hakkai sat down and began clearing the rest of the camp.
"…Hakkai?" Gojou had lit his cigarette, but continued to click his lighter open and shut.
"Yes?"
"You know what our life is? Just one big fuckin' SNAFU." Open close open close.
"Snafu?"
"Situation normal." Open. "All fucked up." Close. "That's us."
"…I see."
"Bus is leaving NOW so stop farting around!" Sanzo's voice carried over from the road. The monk hadn't slept well that night either. He had kept moving around the camp and resettling down, only to move minutes later.
Gojou stuffed his cigarettes and lighter into his pocket. "You see?" He nodded towards the jeep. "SNAFU Central. That's us." Then walking passed the trees, Hakkai heard him call over, "Alright, baldy, keep yer shorts on!"
He remembered just shaking his head and following back to the road. Now he looked at the fire slowly dying down and thought of the day that had followed- of the woods, the wall, and all the signs that showed that he wasn't alone, but he was.
"Is this what a SNAFU is, Gojou?" he thought aloud.
Maybe so. But he was at a loss on how to make this situation "normal" again. Best thing to do, he gathered was to resume searching in the morning. They were out there. He could feel it.
And tomorrow, he'd try to find them.
------
"Like I said." Gojou nodded to the woods. "Fucking SNAFU central. That's us."
He was tempted to eat his cigs, he was so hungry. He kept shaking the pack, hoping that maybe if the sticks hit each other enough, they would spontaneously create some more.
Four left. Well, one was in his mouth, so three. He had blown through the pack before he had even noticed.
He leaned his head against the wall and breathed out. He could taste the smoke coming out, but could see nothing in the dark except the tiny glow at the end of the cigarette. It was the only light there was, and it was nearing its end. His hand reached again towards the pack next to him, but he tried to hold back. He was going to have to hold out as long as he could, just in case…
His thoughts traveled to that day, but he didn't want to think about it.
Where the fuck am I?
He didn't want to think about how thirsty he was.
Where the fuck is everyone else?
Or how cold it was.
What the fuck is going on?
Or the tracks, the stick, let alone the wall.
"And why is it so FUCKING quiet!" he yelled facing the sky. The second it was out though, it was gone. No echo. No sign that he had said anything at all. Just the wind.
"Well, ya know what, mister?" He shook his finger at the woods. "You can be all quiet and shit, but not me. Not this kappa. I feel like YELLING!" His fist pounded the wall behind him. "HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?"
But if the forest didn't like it, it didn't say anything.
Gojou snorted, dragging his hand through his hair. You're going crazy. You're losing it. You're talking to trees.
He looked down at his other hand and at the burning stub between his fingers. He bowed his head and felt the earth as he pressed the cigarette into the ground. Now it was completely dark, dark and quiet-
Dark and quiet and all alone-
"Fuck this." The battle was lost. He grabbed the pack and shook out another stick. Down to two now. Another second and it was him and the small spark again. Now it was just mostly dark and quiet and alone…but he could mess with that too. Two out of three won't be too bad, right?
"Hey," He nodded his head to the dark. "Know any songs?" He sat there, smoking and listening.
"No? No songs?" He smiled. "Well, I know some songs." And then raising an eyebrow. "I know some real niiiiiiiiiiice songs. Ya wanna hear/" He paused again for a moment, and then took the forest's silence as approval.
"Don't tell yer mom I told you these though. She won't like'em."
And then drumming his hand on the ground, Gojou leaned back and started to sing.
And for awhile, the quiet didn't seem so dark.
------
Curled up against the wall, Goku tried to not think about his stomach or the chill that seemed to fill it. He rubbed his nose. It still hurt, but the bleeding had stopped.
Would tomorrow be the same? Or is this just a dream. When I wake up, will I just be in the jeep, or in camp, or (and he liked this thought the best) in some inn with breakfast waiting just downstairs?
"If this is a dream," he rasped, his voice still sore from yelling earlier, "maybe...maybe if I go to sleep now, I'll wake up. And everything will be back to the way it was." That seemed to fit. It made sense that if he slept while awake, he'd dream. So if he slept while dreaming, he'd wake up. A voice in his head, the voice that always sounded like Sanzo, stung his brain, like he was hitting him with the fan from the inside. "Bakazaru. Don't be dense!"
He grimaced and tried to remember what Sanzo had said about dreams. Goku had nightmares before and often would try to explain them to the monk, sometimes in the middle of the night. Like the last time it happened, just a few nights back.
Sanzo tried to throw something at him, his fan, a pillow, anything in reach. "Out! It can wait till morning!"
"I can't!" He balled his fists up. "I won't remember it. I know it now! And it's..." He shook his head. He had lost his words. Confusing. Scary. Just...not right.
Sanzo covered his eyes with his hand. "Fuckin' A." His other hand motioned towards him, and Goku bounded forward, making to jump on the bed, but Sanzo had grabbed his collar first.
"If you have to do this now," he hissed, "then you have to be quiet." His head nodded towards Hakkai's bed across the room. Goku looked over. He knew Hakkai was awake. He had been since he came in, but he shrugged and sat down, this time more carefully. He waited while Sanzo leaned back, and dug around, pulling out his cigarettes.
"Are you going to tell me or not?" He clicked open his lighter.
Goku nodded and then slowly began recalling his dream. They had been in a desert, but then a village, but then a swamp. Everywhere they went though, the ground kept falling out, and in the end, they had all sank into mud and couldn't get out.
"I moved, and I just kept sinking. And I called but I couldn't reach you or Hakkai or Gojou. I kept kicking, but I couldn't move except really, really slow, and I saw," he paused, his finger drawing circles on the sheets. "I saw everyone go down, but I couldn't move. I just kept kicking and...and that's when I woke up." He didn't mention that he'd fallen out of the bed, waking Gojou up.
"It's just a dream. It doesn't mean anything." Sanzo sighed. "No one's sinking. The only mud around here is up there." He poked Goku's head.
"Still...I couldn't do anything."
"It's your dream. You can do anything you want."
"But I couldn't move. I tried-"
"Bakazaru, it's all in your head. You want to move. You move. You want to wake up. You wake up. Just like that." Sanzo snapped his fingers.
"Really? Is that what you do?"
Sanzo didn't say anything for a moment. He took a drag, and looked away. "I don't dream."
"Oh..." Goku scratched his head. Maybe you couldn't dream and be a monk...
"Is that it?" Sanzo returned his gaze to the boy.
"Yeah..." Goku nodded slowly. "That's all I remember."
"Good. Now get the hell out of here." He waved towards the door.
"Right…Thanks, Sanzo." He flashed a smile, smaller than his usual wide grin, got down from the bed, and walked over to the door. He was halfway out when Sanzo's voice stopped him.
"Goku."
"Eh?" His head turned back.
"Always remember that you control things. It's your head. I know you don't use it, but try to remember that next time."
"Ah...Gotcha." His face brightened. "G'night!"
"Out!"
He had gone back to his room, thinking aloud, "It's my head. I can control it. My head. I can change things. I can do it…"
"But can I get out of this?" he whispered, and curled up as much as he could to block out the cold.
"Maybe I can just...dream awake." He sighed, closing his eyes. Worth a shot though. Better than what's going on now. Better than running. Better than yelling to no one. "Then I'll tell this to Sanzo, and maybe he'll yell at me, but..."
But at least he'd be there.
And thinking of what'd he say when he'd wake up, Goku started to drift off. And as he sank deeper into sleep, he imagined he heard Gojou singing one of his dirty bar songs, and the soft crackle of Hakkai's cooking fire. It felt nice and familiar. Just like before, just like before he had fallen into this nightmare.
^^ tbc