Authors note: A new chapter, what a novel concept. Ok I'd like to give a big thanks to my pre-readers who I couldn't have done this without. RedMage2k, rgreat, D Flowers and Sessha.
Disclaimer: Don't own Eva; never did, never will.
"Speaking out loud"
'Thinking internally'
'memories'
Through the Mind of One
by: brindani
Chapter 7
(deep within the bowels of NERV)
Kouzou stood, his head slightly bowed, as he skimmed through some of the most recent reports concerning the Evangelions and their pilots. Next to him stood a large imposing desk where Gendou Ikari solemnly stared off into the distance.
"So, the fifth is to arrive soon. What will you have him do? We have no spare Evas for him to pilot."
"You might call him a spare in case one of the pilots becomes... incapacitated." Gendou answered coldly.
"Do you think it will become necessary to have one of them become incapacitated." Kouzou replied with a small frown hidden behind the reports he held.
"The second's performance as of late has been very unsatisfactory."
"So you will...?"
"No, not yet, it seems she may have a part to play outside of Eva; dealing with a situation that has become problematic."
"Rei?" Kouzou replied knowingly. Gendou's lack of response was answer enough.
Kouzou suddenly stopped his review when he flipped to the next page.
"Is this correct? You will be using that core?"
"Indeed, it is the only alternative that we currently have for the moment."
"...But"
"It is inactive. It will pose no threat for the moment and represents the only compatible core we posses."
"Still, this is very risky. If it ever should become active..."
"It is a risk that must be taken. Risk naturally follows when such high stakes are involved." Gendou silently returned to his sightless staring into the distance.
'I just hope that all of those risks don't catch up to you, my friend.' Kouzou thought to himself.
(Misato's apartment)
Rei stood in the middle of the hallway, fist raised before her roommate's door. Ever since that day a week ago, in the hospital, when her fellow pilot had literally used all his strength to affirm her survival, something had changed. She was uncertain as to what exactly, but hoped to find enlightenment by discussing the issue with Shinji. Unfortunately, she had little chance to do so due to the lockdown administered immediately following his awakening. It was only logical then that Shinji's recent recovery and release meant that she would have an opportunity to raise her inquiry.
These were the ideas that traveled through her mind, as her fist remained raised to knock. Still, something seemed to keep her from doing so, a hesitance had never been present before. Yet another factor that had begun to disturbed her, one of far too many. Tightening her fist, she prepared to knock.
DING DONG.
Rei paused at the unexpected sound. 'Who?' She thought as she let her hand drop to her side before moving towards the front door.
Taking a little time, Rei composed her face to its usual coolness before opening the door. On multiple occasions, the doorbell would ring due to either one or both of Shinji's two friends, Touji and Kensuke, who typically desired to converse or interact with Shinji in some way. As Shinji had recently been released from the hospital, it would be pertinent to assume that they would visit.
The person Rei found standing before her was definitely not one of these two. The young boy, roughly her age, had a small build with an uncommon carefree smile, his hands stuffed into his pockets. He wore the typical school uniform of a white shirt with black pants. None of this, however, was what struck her as much as his pail skin and red eyes.
"Hello there. You must be Ms. Ayanami. It's a pleasure to meet you at last." He said taking his right hand out of his pocket to offer in a hand shake.
When Rei did not immediately take it, he simply let it swing away without any indication of taking offense.
"Who are you?" Rei asked bluntly.
"Kaworu Nagisa, the 5th child. The commander told me you might be able to show me around."
'The commander?' "..." Rei thought, not bothering to reply.
"Shall we be going then?" He asked as he took ahold of her hand and quickly led her away before she could protest.
(Thirty minutes later)
Shinji lay on his bed looking up into the white ceiling; his gaze, however, lay far beyond. He had recuperated nicely ever since the incident, with little help from NERV. The care was second to none, but Shinji had lost count of how many times he had to suffer the same faceless doctors repeatedly asking him the same questions.
Now that they finally allowed him to leave the hospital, he would be able to return to school. He was actually excited by the prospect. True, school would likely be the same boring place, but Shinji considered it an infinitely better prospect then remaining in the hospital. At least he would be able to see his friends at school.
It actually was still puzzling to him as to why he had been quarantined. He vaguely remembered seeing Rei when he had first awaken so if she were initially allowed then why would she and everyone else be stopped after that?
His thoughts soon became disarrayed when some very demanding growls began to rise from his stomach. These forced his first destination of the day: the kitchen. When he walked out of his room, the hint of burnt food was the first thing that greeted him. To his dismay, he found Misato standing in front of the stove desperately trying to keep some boiling water from spilling over the pot, which apparently held noodles.
"Misato?"
"Oh, Shinji, you're awake. I'm almost finished making some noodles for breakfast; have a seat." The wannabe cook said without turning around
'Misato made breakfast? What, is she trying to do, kill me for real here?' Shinji thought in despair. "Hey Misato, I think I remember having to go to school early to ah… pick up my missing homework, yes. Bye!" Shinji finished by moving out the front door as fast as his still sluggish body would take him.
Turning from her preparation, Misato watched him slide from view with a raised eye. She then turned her attention to the rather large stack of homework notices plainly displayed on the kitchen table. She pouted for a little while. 'My cooking is not that ba...' She couldn't finish that thought as she suddenly found that half the pot of water had decided to make a break for it taking the noodles with it, leaving burnt pieces all over. Any thoughts concerning Shinji abruptly vanished.
(school)
Shinji left far too early so he had little difficulty making it to school on time slow pace or not. As he entered the classroom, several people stopped talking to welcome him back. Two of these were distinctly brought to his attention as they magically appeared before him.
"Shinji!! Were have you been, man. You had us worried." Touji exclaimed as he launched a hefty slap on the back that sent Shinji flailing to the floor. It was a good thing that Touji was fast or his other arm might not have been able to catch him in time. "Sorry about that."
"It's all right." Shinji said wheezing from the blow. "Sorry about worrying you guys. I wasn't allowed to make any telephone calls from the NERV hospital."
"Don't worry about it. That's what we kind of figured. So where is your other half?" Touji asked looking around.
"Other half?"
"You know, you and Ayanami have been really close lately." Touji said with a suggestive wink.
At that, the sliding door opened to reveal said girl. Rei stood in the doorway for several seconds looking first one way then the other, scanning the room for something. Apparently not finding what she sought, she swiftly walked forward.
"Hey, Rei how..." Shinji didn't get much further before Rei walked right past him to sit next to a pale student that Shinji didn't recognize. "Did I miss something?" Shinji asked mystified.
Another person sitting near the back noticed the odd behavior as well. Asuka wore a contemplative expression as she flicked her bright blue eyes between both Shinji and Rei. 'A new factor has come into play.' Asuka thought as she took an especially long glance at the new kid that held Rei's attention. For a split-second, the kid glanced back at her. At the same time, a notion crossed Asuka's mind, which raised a devilish smile. Getting up from her desk, she walked over to Shinji who still wore a confused expression.
"Come on Shinji, the teacher is going to come soon." She said while taking a hold of his hand and swiftly leading him to one of the front seats where, after she deposited him, she sat adjacent from him.
'Asuka really has changed recently. She's even acting... nice to me.'
Shinji thought as Asuka filled him in on the previous night's homework.
Everyone around was rather stunned, especially his fellow Stooges who promptly sat directly behind the two to make certain nothing happened. So great was the spectacle that no one really noticed a set of intense red eyes watching the conversation, eyes strictly held behind a mask of emotionlessness.
Lunch took longer then usual to arrive for Shinji, that day. His mind lay in turmoil as to why Rei would ignore him. 'Was she angry that I fell on her when I first woke up? That may be it. I shouldn't have done that, but I was so happy to see her alive. I was sure she had died when she self-destructed. I wish I could have made lunch for both of us. I could apologize or something. Maybe the cafeteria? Ack...' Not a prospect that he looked forward to, but he really wanted to get this settled. Strengthening his resolve, he stood up with the lunch bell. He walked quickly over to the desk Rei had chosen for the day. He almost reached it too.
"Hey Shinji, I made more then enough for my lunch. Do you want to eat with me?" Asuka didn't give him a chance to answer as she once again took hold of his hand and dragged him off.
'Damn, that was close. I've just got to keep him away from Wondergirl for now. With her distracted by that new kid I'll be able to keep Shinji all to myself.' Asuka thought with glee. 'I will beat her.'
Back in the classroom, Rei had shifted her attention minutely to both of their retreating backs. Still sitting in his seat near the front, Touji watched with some confusion. He looked to the exit that Shinji had just taken and back to Rei whose eyes seemed locked on the same sliding door
With a frown, Touji stood to walk over to Rei. "Hey Rei, could I talk to you for a second?"
"I am currently indisposed..." She said not even turning to directly talk to him.
"I don't mind. Why don't you go talk with him?" Kaworu interrupted her rejection.
"..." Rei slowly stood to leave.
Touji remained quite as he contemplated the current situation and tried to come up with a good place to talk with Ayanami. Rei, for her part, walked next to him starring straight ahead. Eventually, they found their way to the school roof where Touji rested his arms along the railing.
"So what's up?" Touji asked.
"What do you mean?" Rei asked coolly.
"You have been very distant with him today."
"With whom?"
"Shinji."
"There has been no deviation from my usual interaction with pilot Ikari."
"Are you all right?"
"Rei, just remember that you can always depend on Shinji. He... likes you a lot." When Touji looked back to gauge Rei's reaction he found that she had disappeared. "I hope this works out." Touji said to himself.
(NERV central dogma)
'What's going on? Does Rei not like me anymore? I thought we were at least becoming friends. Now she doesn't even seem to care that I exist.' Shinji thought while he walked along the catwalk to his Evangelion. He was concentrating so intently on his course that he almost walked by the new kid before realizing it. Blinking once, Shinji turned to look at the other, who continued to stare intently at Unit 01.
"Hello" Shinji said tentatively.
Slowly, as if forcibly pulled away, the other broke his gaze with Unit 01 to look back at Shinji. As soon as he locked eyes, he smiled. "Hello there, Shinji."
"How do you know who I am?"
"Let's just say that some of my cousins have mentioned you."
"Really? Who are they?"
"Unfortunately, they were all killed in the various angel attacks."
"I'm sorry to hear that." For a brief second Kaworu looked far away.
"...You weald much power."
"What...What do you mean?"
Instead of answering Kaworu turned to continue his gazing of Unit 01.
"Oh, you mean Unit 01. That last angel was really only a fluke." Shinji said nervously as he traced where the other was looking.
"Well… we have an activation tests to perform. Shall we?" Kaworu turned and gestured behind Shinji. When Shinji looked back, he took several involuntary steps away when he found Rei, dressed in her plug suit, standing a scant few feet behind him.
"Yes." With only an empty gaze directed towards Shinji, Rei turned to the adjacent cage where a newly restored Unit 00 motionlessly stood.
(In Unit 00's entry plug)
Rei sat still in her cockpit, awaiting the activation of her Unit, a troubled expression periodically crossing her face.
"Begin activation." A voice, that Rei didn't bother to identify, said.
"Establish nerve connections"
This last statement drew Rei's attention as another presence began to form in the back of her mind. It was subtle yet different from her previous experience with Eva. It felt jaded, bitter and distrustful. This sensation of distrust only grew as the nerve connections began to initiate.
"We've past the third connection. ...Rei, is there a problem in there? Your sink ratio is holding at barely 5%." Dr. Akagi's reprimanding voice came through the comm.
"Something is... different."
"Can you compensate?"
"I will attempt to."
"Good, we'll prolong the test to allow you to adapt."
Rei didn't answer; instead, she began to delve into this strange consciousness. Almost immediately, she reached a barrier. It seemed made of those residual emotions that Rei had originally felt. Her light probes revealed that this barrier would not be easily breeched. As no mental pressure would allow her access, Rei took the next most logical course of action; she metaphorically sat directly in front of the barrier and waited.
If Rei had anything in abundance in was patience. She could wait for days without moving from a given spot.
(Two hours later)
Rei remained with her eyes closed, head tilted to the side when she felt a faint stirring deep within the Eva. Slowly the other presence began a tentative probe of its own. Rei took no movement to resist. She knew it was imperative to gain the cooperation of the Eva's essence. At first, it was light and filled with sorrow and mistrust. Rei became concerned when the probe abruptly stopped. Some unknown emotion abruptly overwhelmed her. Instead of sitting outside of a barrier, Rei suddenly found herself being sucked into the essence like a vortex.
(Outside)
Shinji stifled a yawn as he sat in his Eva. He had spent the last hour and a half with nothing to do. Occasionally, he cast covert glances towards Rei's motionless form, but besides that did very little.
"How much longer is this going to take Misato?" Shinji asked tiredly.
"Until Rei can properly synch with her Eva, we are just going to sit here." Dr Akagi answered with annoyance clear in her voice.
It was about then that hell began to break loose.
"What? Rei's sink ratio just jumped to 32 no 41, it's increase exponentially!" Maya called out.
"Cut all nerve connections and break off the power supply." Gendou's voice spoke calmly. Only Fuyutsuki, who stood directly beside him, was able to hear the subtle hint of apprehension.
"Yes, sir"
Moments later, the power cord from Unit 00's back exploded out briefly firing its rockets before clanging to the ground below. In a scene very reminiscent of past activations, the Unit began to stager around clutching its head. Moments later, another figure stood next to the Evangelion, restraining its arms tightly to make sure that no harm came to the pilot. Unit 00 continued to thrash wildly around without success in its bid to free itself from the arms that retrained it. With Shinji's deep concentration, he was able to hold on as five minutes slowly crawled by. Finally, the blue giant mecha fell silent.
Shinji instantly turned on a screen to show the inside of Unit 00. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found her body floating unconscious with an almost peaceful expression.
"Rei?" He asked hopefully.
"Dr. Akagi, meet me in my office in fifteen minutes." Gendou stated before standing up to leave, totally dismissing the scene before him.
"But sir th…" She was cut off by one piercing glare that spoke of sever punishment at any insubordination "I'll be there momentarily." She finally said with resignation
"I expect no less." Finished, he moved out of view.
(Hospital)
Rei lay motionless while Shinji, once again, maintained his vigil. His thoughts once again strayed to the enigmatic girl in the bed before him. 'I thought I was finally beginning to understand.' Shinji closed his eyes taking in a few deep breaths to calm himself. A soft stirring soon drew his attention. When he looked across to her bed, he saw Rei beginning to move. She hadn't quite opened her eyes yet, but it was apparent she would soon be conscious. Nearly simultaneously, the door to the room opened revealing Kaworu, still wearing his school clothes, directly behind him stood Asuka with a casual white shirt with jeans. Her eyes immediately locked onto Shinji the moment the door opened.
Shinji didn't know who had entered, his concentration focused solely on the slowly awakening figure before him. Because of this, he never saw the hand that abruptly flipping him around. He quickly found himself in an unanticipated close hug, two very prominent pressures turning his cheeks crimson.
"Shinji, we need to talk right now." Asuka said as she quickly withdrew herself from the embrace.
"Ah... ok, but I wanted to talk…"
"I need to talk to you right now…Please." Asuka whispered with large pleading eyes that no human male should have been able to refuse. Seeing that Shinji still managed to hesitate, Asuka took the initiative to pull him along to the door. Against his better judgment, Shinji allowed himself to be pulled away. He did catch one last look behind him where Kaworu had already sat down and was quietly talking to Rei.
(That night)
"Rei! Rei!" Rei shook her consciousness back to the present as someone called her name. When she reopened her eyes, she found Misato standing a short distance away snapping her fingers to gain Rei's attention.
"Don't start spacing out on us. As I was saying, Kaworu is actually the seventeenth angel. He is currently descending toward Terminal Dogma. We have no idea where either Shinji or Asuka are. Until we can find them, it is up to you to stop him. Do you understand Rei?"
'Kaworu an angel?' "Yes, major."
"Hurry, we don't have too long before he initiates third impact."
Misato's words never reached Rei as she was already sprinting through corridors, attempting to reach her Eva as quickly as possible. Moments later, she reached her unit's cage. There stood the enormous Unit 00 whose one eye eerily stared at her. She took no note as she rushed up to her entry plug.
Once in the Eva, a screen came to life showing Misato's worried expression. "Ritsuko thinks that they have fixed whatever went wrong with the last activation. If there are any difficulties, you'll need to adapt manually. I'm now relaying the fastest route to intercept the seventeenth before he reaches ground zero."
"Understood," Indeed Rei could feel the Eva acting much more subdued, none of the previously hidden elements apparent. As soon as she gained control, she pulled the Eva out, racing against time.
"Rei, we have jus…got…ang….." Misato's picture abruptly disappeared as Rei jumped down the final shaft indicated on her visual map. Though the drop was hundreds of meters deep, she didn't seem to accelerate. Another thing she took little note of.
(Terminal Dogma)
Hovering above a lake of LCL, Kaworu looked intently at a white humanoid figure crucified upon a large cross. This is what Rei first saw as she charged into the cavern.
"Kaworu." Rei spoke softly stopping just before the figure.
Almost as if Kaworu had heard his name called, he turned mid-air to face Rei in Unit 00. "Good evening, Rei. I have been waiting for you."
"Why are you doing this?" Rei asked standing still.
Kaworu showed his usual large happy go lucky grin. "I am an angel so I must therefore join with Adam. I am not, however, just any angel; I am the angel of choice. That is what life is truly all about, really, choice. Of course, no choice exists in simply joining with Adam so I took measures to determine my next action. In fact, you shall make the choice."
"Me?"
"Yes." At this, two forms rose from far below to hover several meters to either side of Kaworu. On the left was Shinji, obviously unconscious, his head hanging off to one side. On the other was Asuka, in a similar state, both apparently taken from bed as they still wore their night clothes. "You now have a choice, a choice to crush one of us. You could destroy me now and end all of this or... you could destroy the one who betrayed you." Kaworu stopped speaking as Shinji's body slowly flew to the fore.
'betray?' Memories assaulted her mind.
'Rei sat at her desk as the lunch bell rang. She had wanted to speak with Shinji in the morning, but never had the chance, as Shinji hadn't shown up until later. She now wanted to take the opportunity to try and talk with him during lunch. When she looked up she found Shinji smirking at her while taking Asuka into his arms for a long drawn out kiss before walking out the door with her.'
'What?' She found herself back within the cockpit, her Eva's hand reaching towards Shinji's body.
'Rei was walking across the catwalk for her activation test. Before her, she saw both Shinji and Kaworu talking.'
"Do you not feel bad treating Rei so poorly?" Kaworu asked.
"I'll do as I please. She is just one step amongst many."
"You have no shame."
"Shut up."
Kaworu looked behind Shinji to see Rei approach them.
"Rei! We should get you to your test." Kaworu said as he quickly left Shinji who wore a sneer of contempt to hurry Rei away from the hurtful conversation.'
When Rei could reorient herself she found her Eva's hand firmly griped around Shinji's prone body. Just a little more and…
"Or perhaps you wish to destroy the one that made him betray you." Kaworu said gesturing to Asuka's equally vulnerable form as it flew forward.
Rei shifted her gaze towards Asuka.
'Once Rei made it to school she sat down next to Kaworu who had dramatically swept his hands back and forth to make sure she did. As hard as she had looked, she could not find Shinji anywhere. After talking with Kaworu for a short while, Shinji came in with a happy smile, waving to her. Before she could bring herself to wave back, however, a red blur attached itself to him. Shinji was obviously surprised by this unusual attention, but soon succumbed to the red heads full body glomp. Asuka then took Shinji away for most of that period. When he returned he look a little too happy while she looked smug with success.'
Unit 00's left hand now rested around Asuka, ready to squeeze. Rei's eyes filled with passion as a flood of emotion streamed through her. Amidst the turbulence, another presence quietly arose in the back of her mind. It slowly took the form of the back of Touji Suzuhara speaking to her.
'"Rei, just remember that you can always depend on Shinji. He... likes you alot"'
'What?'
Rei sat at her desk as the lunch bell rang. She had wanted to speak with Shinji in the morning, but never had the chance, as Shinji hadn't shown up until later. She now wanted to take the opportunity to try and talk with him during lunch. When she looked up she found Shinji smirking'
The strange presence once again awoke freezing the image in her mind. Slowly, it began to distort and warp before shattering into thousands of shards, in its place stood a new image.
Shinji looked hesitantly in her direction from his desk. His eyes looked concerned and worried. When the bell rang, he stood to make his way over to her. He had almost reached her desk when Asuka came and took his arm to drag him bodily away.
'Is this what happened?' "Ahh" Rei grunted as her memories started to change before her eyes.
Rei was walking across the catwalk for her activation test. Before her she saw both Shinji and Kaworu talking.
"Do you not feel bad treating Rei so…"
The image lasted only seconds before breaking apart.
"Hello there, Shinji."
"How do you know who I am?"
"Let's just say that some of my cousins had mentioned you."
"Really? Who are they?"
…
'Its not the same.'
Flash.
Once Rei had made it to school she couldn't find Shinji…
Crack
Shinji stood directly before her with a greeting half formed on his lips before she passed him without taking any heed.
Roughly, Rei opened her eyes from the numerous scenarios revealed before her. 'They are not the same. But how?' Focusing her attention on Kaworu, she noticed something different, something shiny. Sparkling little threads were issuing from him. The tiny almost unperceivable threads weaved together as they came towards her mind trying to reach into her being. Except now, something was stopping them. Something prevented their entry. 'Kaworu did this? He made me believe these things?'
Unit 00's hand, which was almost squeezing Asuka to death, suddenly released and grabbed Kaworu instead.
"You did this?"
"...Yes, life is all about choices, what I failed to mention is that all choices have influences. It seems that for the first time someone has chosen differently from what I have dictated. Interes…"
Kaworu never managed to finish his statement as Unit 00 closed its fist.
End Chapter 7
Post-authors note:
So many things so little time. Yes, Asuka can now cook. It would have been one of my top priorities given the circumstances she was in. I'll be honest; I never liked Kaworu very much. He was a character introduced very late in the game that had far to much sway in how the pilots personal lives played out. More specifically, he detracted from a relationship developing between Rei and Shinji. Don't get me wrong, I would have preferred a relationship with Asuka and Shinji over Kaworu too. They at least had the foundation set for one, but I still would have preferred Rei and Shinji. Like no one could guess that by now.
Anyway, there is only one final chapter to go. I have been thinking of a potential epilogue, but I haven't decided to do it or not. Any constructive criticism or comments will really help as I'm still just a beginner.
Thanks,
brindani