Well here it is folks, Chapter III of "The Corrupt Namek." I hope you enjoy!
The Corrupt Namek
Chapter III
Vegeta didn't leave immediately. He had seen Kakarot and decided to tell him the idea he had gotten while he was high yesterday.
"Hey Kakarot, we need to speak," Vegeta said.
"Sure thing Vegeta," Goku replied.
"I want this to be a secret. I came up with a wonderful money-making idea."
"Money? Isn't Bulma rich?"
"Yeah, but she says she's tired of wasting thousands of dollars a day on me. . . basically stupid bullshit."
"Ah, I see. What's your idea?"
Vegeta looked around to make sure no one was in the area and then said in a low voice, "I could own a convenience store. Those make plenty of cash. . . think about it, not only would be make big bucks off customers, but we could sell alcohol and tobacco to underage kids, as long as they give us some extra profit of course. You could work for me Kakarot."
"Really?" Goku asked ignoring the illegal part. He liked the idea of being able to work with Vegeta.
"Yeah, we could split the profits. I get 70 percent and you 30 percent."
"Wow, that sounds great!"
"Yeah, it's a great---" Vegeta looked up and saw Tien, Chouzu, and Cell fly overhead and land on the roof. "What the FUCK?! Cell?!"
"Take it easy. Cell's a good guy now," Goku assured him.
"Well, I'll be damned. Anyway, I gotta go home and ask Bulma for some cash to start that store."
"Okay. See ya later Vegeta."
"Yeah, sure."
He flew off and Goku went back inside to eat.
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Cell, Tien, and Chouzu stood around Piccolo and listened to their boss' every word:
"Business has been incredibly slow lately, and this is because of people's refusal to uh, 'invest' in my product due to overly high prices. Now, I considered lowering my prices, but then I realized that would be foolish. I came up with an even greater idea: we can FORCE peopleto pay for the weed."
"Brilliant idea Mr. Piccolo," Cell said.
"Of course it is. Now, we also have to expand operations. I have invited several people here so I could consider hiring some new business associates."
"What about Goku?" Tien asked. "Won't he protest?"
"I will take care of Goku," Piccolo replied. "Now, you guys go get back on the streets and force people to pay. I expect profits from you three to increase by 300 percent."
They nodded and flew off. Piccolo smoked a large joint and then for the first time in a long time he got off the roof.
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Krillen was sitting on a chair on the front porch drinking some water when he saw Piccolo land in front of him. He spit his drink out in surprise. "Piccolo?"
"Hey, you," Piccolo said pointing to Krillen as if Krillen were in a crowd of people. "Where's Goku?"
"Umm, probably where he always is: the kitchen."
"Good. Have a prize," Piccolo said, and as he walked by Krillen he dropped a small bag of weed on his lap. Then he went inside. Krillen looked at the bad confused. He had never smoked before and didn't really know what to do with it.
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After travelling through several hallways and doorways, Piccolo reached the kitchen. He found Goku with his head in the fridge.
"Hey there Goku," Piccolo said.
"Hi Piccolo! What a pleasant surprise!" Goku stood up with a large pile of food in his hands.
Piccolo pulled out a bottle of vodka without a label from his cape. "Want some flavored water?" Piccolo asked.
"Sure! What flavor is it?"
"Uh, it's a surprise. You'll have to guess."
"Sounds fun. . . want to watch some T.V.?"
"Yeah, let's watch some T.V."
They went and sat down on the couch in one of Goku's living rooms. Goku turned on the T.V. and watched the news; The World News Network (WNN). Goku ate quickly and Piccolo gave him the "flavored water."
Goku took a drink a nearly choked. "That IS flavored. Not only does it burn but it tastes like some VERY old-ass water."
"Do you have a problem with my water?" Piccolo asked with a hint of anger in his voice.
"Oh, of course not Piccolo," Goku replied and took a big swig of the "water" to show his sincerity. He tried his best to tolerate it.
Piccolo knew Goku was lying, but he loved it. While Goku drank Piccolo watched the news, which wasn't interesting at all. It wasn't long until Piccolo noticed a change in Goku's behavior.
"This water is something else, Piccolo. It's making me feel all weird, and even though it tastes like shit I continue to drink." Goku laughed at what he said.
Piccolo grinned. "You like that water huh?"
Goku took another drink. The bottle was over halfway gone. "Not really."
Then he laughed some more and decided to stand up. That was a mistake. He staggered back and forth around the living room; bumping into the wall every now and then.
"I can't seem to stand up straight," Goku told Piccolo. He did, however, take another drink. Everything was going according to the Namek's plan. Goku tried to get to the couch, but instead he tripped over his own feet and crashed to the ground. He somehow managed to save his bottle though.
Piccolo laughed and helped Goku to his feet. "You alright Goku? That was a nice save."
"Yeah, sure, I'm good," Goku replied in a dazed voice. He took yet another drink. "I'm almost out of water."
"Looks that way," Piccolo replied. He watched Goku stagger around some more and crash into his T.V., knocking it down and causing it to shut down.
"Damn, I messed up my T.V.," Goku said with a laugh. He then took one last drink before finishing off the bottle. The Saiyajin was incredibly drunk. His view of the world was completely fucked up. Nothing stood still, including himself. He continued to stagger around and for some reason he decided to throw the bottle through his living room window, shattering the window. He didn't give a fuck.
"Well Goku, I'm going back to my post on the roof." Piccolo left to wait for the people he had invited. Goku would no longer be a problem. He left the house and walked past Krillen again who was still studying his bag of weed. He would have smelled it if he had a nose.
While Piccolo floated up to the roof, Goku suddenly jumped through a third story window. It completely shattered it. The Namek was caught by surprise. "Damn!" he exclaimed. Goku didn't attempt to fly. He simply fell to the ground and made it his resting place for the day. Piccolo shrugged and went back to the roof. He sat on a chair and sparked a joint.
Suddenly the Namek had an interesting idea. He had the ability of controlling both Goku and Vegeta, the only two capable of stopping him. He could do whatever the fuck he wanted and those Monkeys would be powerless to stop him. Piccolo took a huge hit and realized he could rule the world if he wished. Interesting indeed.
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An hour later Piccolo's possible new recruits arrived. These people consisted of the Ginyu Force (with the exception of Captain Ginyu), Nappa, and Radditz. They all landed on the roof and formed a circle around Piccolo.
"You have all been excellent buyers of Namek Grass for quite some time," Piccolo said. "You are all evil and corrupt, just like me. I have decided to expand my wonderful business and each of you have the opportunity to become my loyal followers."
"That sounds good, mate," Jeice said. "What do we have to do?"
"First of all, you will refer to me as Mr. Piccolo. Next you will need to sell 200 dollars worth of Namek Grass for a thousand dollars."
"A thousand bucks?!" Nappa exclaimed.
"That's right. Is that a problem?" Piccolo asked.
"Uh, no, of course not," Nappa replied.
Piccolo opened a box which had been by his feet. It was filled with several bags of weed. "You will each take one. You will report back to me in two hours with the cash."
They each grabbed a bag and flew off to attempt to sell their drugs. Piccolo sat back in his chair, sparked another joint, and waited for their return.
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Well, that's it for Chapter III. Just want to say thanks to the Dbz Dealer (Ace of Authors) for reviewing my previous chapter. I was hoping to hear from you and I did!