Ok, I'm going to try to make a good-ole funny fan-fic! I hope it's
funny...
Harry had a boring summer as usual. He thought it would be better, since Mad-Eye-Moody had threatened Mr. Dursley, but no it wasn't.
He got the Daily Prophet every morning, which always seemed to have stories of witches sighting Voldemort, but Harry didn't believe any of it. Nothing had happened yet, which was very frustrating.
Harry woke up the next morning to find an owl poking him in the head. It had the Daily Prophet tied to its leg, with the headline, HOGWARTS GONE!?!
Harry stared. What? Hogwarts gone? What the hell were they talking about? They seriously didn't mean... He quickly handed the owl some change, which gave him the paper, and flew away. Harry looked at the front page.
HOGWARTS GONE!?!
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has been a fine school for many centuries. Young witches and wizards from ages 11 to 17 have attended the school, for centuries, and studies have shown that Hogwarts has some of the most qualified teachers.
Though on August 29, Hogwarts mysteriously blew up. Nothing was left in the Hogwarts grounds when the ministry investigated. The castle, surrounding forest, fields, and gamekeeper's house was turned into ashes. There has been no explanation for this turn of events.
During the time of the explosion, a teacher's meeting was being held at Hogwarts. Only three teachers made it, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, Potions teacher, Severus Snape, and gamekeeper Rubeus Hagrid. We interviewed the teachers, and neither of them could identify who did this.
"My only guess is that Lord Voldemort is the cause," stated Dumbledore. "However, we must be calm and stable. The Dark Lord wishes to cause panic, and we will not give it to him." When we asked, what of the students, Dumbledore stated clearly, "The students will be going to camps during the school year."
Another astonishing event is that, one other school in England, Elbury Academy, has also gone to flames. A teacher's meeting was happening there too, but this time, no one survived. Dumbledore says that the Elbury Academy students will also attend camps.
Harry stared at the article. Hogwarts... blown... up. He wanted to shout out all of the emotion in his body. How could Hogwarts blow up? Who did it? What the hell was going on? A loud peck on his arm interrupted his thoughts by a tawny owl.
The owl gave Harry a thick letter, and then left. He saw the Hogwarts seal, and then freezed. This would be his O.W.L. results. Oh, lord, he thought. He opened the envelope, and found a letter from Professor Dumbledore.
Dear Mr. Potter,
I am sure you have heard of the terrible news about Hogwarts and Elbury Academy. Words cannot explain my sorrow of the late professors. As you read in the Daily Prophet, I believe it was Lord Voldemort who did it, though I will not explain my reasons, as I think you know them. Now, down to business, since Hogwarts is gone, we have created 8 camps for students of Elbury and Hogwarts. I have assigned you to Camp 7 ¾. You must go to Platform 7 ¾ at King's Cross to catch the train, at 11:00 September 1.
Sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore
Harry was shocked. He might not be in the same camp as Ron and Hermione. That would be dreadful. He found two more letters in the envelope, his supply list, and his O.W.L. results. He read his results.
Dear Mr. Potter,
We have finally gotten the results of your O.W.L. test from June. We congratulate you on your performance. Here is a copy of your results:
Class Practical Theory
Defense Against the Dark Arts Outstanding Outstanding Charms Outstanding Exceeds Expectations Transfiguration Exceeds Expectations Exceeds Expectations Care of Magical Creature Outstanding Outstanding Herbology Acceptable
Acceptable Potions Exceeds Expectations
Acceptable Astronomy Dreadful
Acceptable Divination Dreadful
Dreadful History of Magic
Dreadful
Professor McGonnagal stated that you, Mr. Potter, wish to become an Auror. However, with your grades for Potions, you have not reached the criteria. Though, you may take potions every Tuesday or Thursday night, along with N.E.W.T. potions classes at Camp 7 ¾ to reach the written criteria. You may contact your potions professor for more details. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Professor Marchbanks
Harry looked at the letter again. He would have to take extra potions? BLOODY HELL NO, thought Harry! However, if he didn't, he couldn't become an Auror... so he would have too. Why hadn't bloody Professor Snape died? That would certainly help. Why did everything have to go so DAMN wrong today?
Harry felt something pecking him again, and turned to find Pig, clutching a letter. "Hello, Pig." He took the letter from Pig, and read it.
Dear Harry,
Have you heard the news? HOGWART'S BLEW UP! I can't believe this. This is worse than having to listen to mum yell about my O.W.L. results! What camp did you get assigned to? Hermione and me both got Camp 7 ¾. I can't believe all our teacher's died! I've always hoped Trelawney would fall off a cliff or something, but well I dunno. Anyway, we're coming over to your place straight away. I think we're leaving in an hour. I dunno. See you soon.
-Ron
Well, the only good thing, Harry thought, is that they're going to be at the same camp. But, why? Why did Hogwarts blow up? He threw himself on his bed, with a loud CLUNK! Immediately he regretted it, as he heard footsteps down the hall.
Uncle Vernon opened his door and asked, "What the devil are you doing in here?"
"My friend Ron's picking me up in an hour," said Harry simply. He didn't want to say anything about Hogwarts to Uncle Vernon.
"Good, but... how is your friend going to get here?"
"I dunno... he can't apparate, so I guess floo powder..."
"And what in the blazes is that?"
"Um... he comes in by the fireplace..."
"I'M NOT HAVING SOME CRACKPOT DESTROY MY LIVING ROOM AGAIN!"
"I DON'T..." Harry stopped midway. He heard a familiar voice downstairs. He ran down and found Mr. Weasley and Ron standing in the living room. Ron was about 5 inches taller, and his hair seemed to be as messy as Harry's. Mr. Weasley was clutching an old boot.
"Hi Harry," he said in a low voice. Harry smiled, but it vanished as Uncle Vernon came storming downstairs.
"YOU BLASTED BOY... WHO ARE YOU?" asked Uncle Vernon, looking at Mr. Weasley.
"I'm taking Harry with me, um... good-bye," said Mr. Weasley as he, Ron, and Harry vanished, for they had obviously just went by portkey.
Harry arrived at the Burrow. He immediately asked, "Why aren't we at..." Mr. Weasley shook his head.
"Oy, Harry!" shouted Fred and George from the back of the room. "Heard about the news, disgusting really!"
"HARRY! OH, MY GOD, I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU!" shouted Hermione as she threw herself at Harry. Ron cleared his throat.
"Um... Harry what camp are you going to?" Ron asked in a worried voice.
"7 ¾," said Harry. Hermione squealed with delight, and gave Harry an even bigger hug.
"Yeah, Ginny's going to 7 ¾ too."
The rest of the time, Harry talked with everyone about his summer, Hogwarts, and just tried to get caught up. They went to bed early that night, since they would have to get up early in the morning, so they could catch the train.
Ok, I know this chappie wasn't really funny, but it will get better, once I get the characters to Camp 7 ¾ where the fun will begin!
Harry had a boring summer as usual. He thought it would be better, since Mad-Eye-Moody had threatened Mr. Dursley, but no it wasn't.
He got the Daily Prophet every morning, which always seemed to have stories of witches sighting Voldemort, but Harry didn't believe any of it. Nothing had happened yet, which was very frustrating.
Harry woke up the next morning to find an owl poking him in the head. It had the Daily Prophet tied to its leg, with the headline, HOGWARTS GONE!?!
Harry stared. What? Hogwarts gone? What the hell were they talking about? They seriously didn't mean... He quickly handed the owl some change, which gave him the paper, and flew away. Harry looked at the front page.
HOGWARTS GONE!?!
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has been a fine school for many centuries. Young witches and wizards from ages 11 to 17 have attended the school, for centuries, and studies have shown that Hogwarts has some of the most qualified teachers.
Though on August 29, Hogwarts mysteriously blew up. Nothing was left in the Hogwarts grounds when the ministry investigated. The castle, surrounding forest, fields, and gamekeeper's house was turned into ashes. There has been no explanation for this turn of events.
During the time of the explosion, a teacher's meeting was being held at Hogwarts. Only three teachers made it, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, Potions teacher, Severus Snape, and gamekeeper Rubeus Hagrid. We interviewed the teachers, and neither of them could identify who did this.
"My only guess is that Lord Voldemort is the cause," stated Dumbledore. "However, we must be calm and stable. The Dark Lord wishes to cause panic, and we will not give it to him." When we asked, what of the students, Dumbledore stated clearly, "The students will be going to camps during the school year."
Another astonishing event is that, one other school in England, Elbury Academy, has also gone to flames. A teacher's meeting was happening there too, but this time, no one survived. Dumbledore says that the Elbury Academy students will also attend camps.
Harry stared at the article. Hogwarts... blown... up. He wanted to shout out all of the emotion in his body. How could Hogwarts blow up? Who did it? What the hell was going on? A loud peck on his arm interrupted his thoughts by a tawny owl.
The owl gave Harry a thick letter, and then left. He saw the Hogwarts seal, and then freezed. This would be his O.W.L. results. Oh, lord, he thought. He opened the envelope, and found a letter from Professor Dumbledore.
Dear Mr. Potter,
I am sure you have heard of the terrible news about Hogwarts and Elbury Academy. Words cannot explain my sorrow of the late professors. As you read in the Daily Prophet, I believe it was Lord Voldemort who did it, though I will not explain my reasons, as I think you know them. Now, down to business, since Hogwarts is gone, we have created 8 camps for students of Elbury and Hogwarts. I have assigned you to Camp 7 ¾. You must go to Platform 7 ¾ at King's Cross to catch the train, at 11:00 September 1.
Sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore
Harry was shocked. He might not be in the same camp as Ron and Hermione. That would be dreadful. He found two more letters in the envelope, his supply list, and his O.W.L. results. He read his results.
Dear Mr. Potter,
We have finally gotten the results of your O.W.L. test from June. We congratulate you on your performance. Here is a copy of your results:
Class Practical Theory
Defense Against the Dark Arts Outstanding Outstanding Charms Outstanding Exceeds Expectations Transfiguration Exceeds Expectations Exceeds Expectations Care of Magical Creature Outstanding Outstanding Herbology Acceptable
Acceptable Potions Exceeds Expectations
Acceptable Astronomy Dreadful
Acceptable Divination Dreadful
Dreadful History of Magic
Dreadful
Professor McGonnagal stated that you, Mr. Potter, wish to become an Auror. However, with your grades for Potions, you have not reached the criteria. Though, you may take potions every Tuesday or Thursday night, along with N.E.W.T. potions classes at Camp 7 ¾ to reach the written criteria. You may contact your potions professor for more details. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Professor Marchbanks
Harry looked at the letter again. He would have to take extra potions? BLOODY HELL NO, thought Harry! However, if he didn't, he couldn't become an Auror... so he would have too. Why hadn't bloody Professor Snape died? That would certainly help. Why did everything have to go so DAMN wrong today?
Harry felt something pecking him again, and turned to find Pig, clutching a letter. "Hello, Pig." He took the letter from Pig, and read it.
Dear Harry,
Have you heard the news? HOGWART'S BLEW UP! I can't believe this. This is worse than having to listen to mum yell about my O.W.L. results! What camp did you get assigned to? Hermione and me both got Camp 7 ¾. I can't believe all our teacher's died! I've always hoped Trelawney would fall off a cliff or something, but well I dunno. Anyway, we're coming over to your place straight away. I think we're leaving in an hour. I dunno. See you soon.
-Ron
Well, the only good thing, Harry thought, is that they're going to be at the same camp. But, why? Why did Hogwarts blow up? He threw himself on his bed, with a loud CLUNK! Immediately he regretted it, as he heard footsteps down the hall.
Uncle Vernon opened his door and asked, "What the devil are you doing in here?"
"My friend Ron's picking me up in an hour," said Harry simply. He didn't want to say anything about Hogwarts to Uncle Vernon.
"Good, but... how is your friend going to get here?"
"I dunno... he can't apparate, so I guess floo powder..."
"And what in the blazes is that?"
"Um... he comes in by the fireplace..."
"I'M NOT HAVING SOME CRACKPOT DESTROY MY LIVING ROOM AGAIN!"
"I DON'T..." Harry stopped midway. He heard a familiar voice downstairs. He ran down and found Mr. Weasley and Ron standing in the living room. Ron was about 5 inches taller, and his hair seemed to be as messy as Harry's. Mr. Weasley was clutching an old boot.
"Hi Harry," he said in a low voice. Harry smiled, but it vanished as Uncle Vernon came storming downstairs.
"YOU BLASTED BOY... WHO ARE YOU?" asked Uncle Vernon, looking at Mr. Weasley.
"I'm taking Harry with me, um... good-bye," said Mr. Weasley as he, Ron, and Harry vanished, for they had obviously just went by portkey.
Harry arrived at the Burrow. He immediately asked, "Why aren't we at..." Mr. Weasley shook his head.
"Oy, Harry!" shouted Fred and George from the back of the room. "Heard about the news, disgusting really!"
"HARRY! OH, MY GOD, I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU!" shouted Hermione as she threw herself at Harry. Ron cleared his throat.
"Um... Harry what camp are you going to?" Ron asked in a worried voice.
"7 ¾," said Harry. Hermione squealed with delight, and gave Harry an even bigger hug.
"Yeah, Ginny's going to 7 ¾ too."
The rest of the time, Harry talked with everyone about his summer, Hogwarts, and just tried to get caught up. They went to bed early that night, since they would have to get up early in the morning, so they could catch the train.
Ok, I know this chappie wasn't really funny, but it will get better, once I get the characters to Camp 7 ¾ where the fun will begin!