Disclaimer: I dont own the characters from the OC. Isn't it AWFUL!! I wish I did but I don't...
A/n: Thanks to those who reviewed. Keep it up!! Do you think the characters I show are like the one's on TV??? Please review and answer!!
'Wake up every day that would be a start, I would not complain about my wounded heart...'
Seth stumbled into the kitchen, bleary eyed, aching head.
He should have been happy but he knew he wasn't.
"Morning, sunshine." Marissa said coyly. She was sitting in her pajamas at the center table, sipping an orange juice as watching him closely.
"Morning..." He rubbed his eyes. "Where's Ryan?"
Her eyes went cold. "I don't know."
"Okay, so what's up, Marissa? Oliver's gone...you guys're fine."
She looked down into her cornflakes. "Seth, I don't want to talk about it."
Marissa always did that lately. The mention of Oliver's name shut her down completely. She retreated into her own world of memories, thoughts and words. She didn't talk anymore.
He felt arms around his waist. "Hey, Coh-en."
Another false smile, another string of meaningless lies.
He knew he didn't love her as much as he said, but what could he do? He didn't want to hurt her and he didn't want to be alone...
Keeping up the impression he had given all those months ago; that he had loved her since he first saw her.
If I was a mermaid....
But times had changed, he had changed and that had changed.
"Hi, Summer."
"Hey Coop, wanna go down to the beach today and get a tan?"
"Sure Summ. Do you want some breakfast first?"
"Eugh, cornflakes? You know the corn is like, two months old, Coop? It's really gross!"
So normal, so content. So unaware.
Seth felt like there was a huge lump in his throat and the weight of a million lies in his stomach.
"And what are you going to do today, Cohen?" Summer's eyes sparkled when she looked at him.
"Um...I was gunna go for a – sail or a fish...something...by myself?" He said it as a question and he supposed that it was.
Asking if it was okay for him to feel this way.
"Ooh, sounds like fun! For you. Okay, well Coop, I'm gunna go get changed..." She walked past him to the doorway, stopping to pinch his bum on the way through. "...and I'll meet you down here in ten!"
Seth wandered outside slowly. Perhaps he'd see what Ryan was up to?
But fishing seemed like the thing to do today; it'd give him a reason to be by himself, to think about it all.
And it was also something that would occupy him a bit so that he didn't get too deep...
'All that time I was searching, with nowhere to run to, it started me thinking,
Wondering what I could make of my life, and who'd be waiting,
Asking all kinds of questions, to myself, but never finding the answers,
Crying at the top of my voice, and no one listening,
All this time, I still remember everything you said
There's so much you promised, how could I ever forget?'
The Saturday morning of his Best Weekend Ever plan was the start of the worst weekend ever for Seth Cohen.
He sat on the rocks at the edge of the beach, casually glancing over at Marissa and Summer while still managing to concentrate on the fishing line dangling below the water.
White fluffy clouds leaked out of the blue horizon; the sun shone on his neck and back making his sleepy.
He shoved his fishing rod into the sand and lay back upon the smooth rocks.
And it hit him.
He didn't love Summer. He loved...her.
She'd been there since before he could remember, no near but yet so far away.
She was cool, she was beautiful. And in the strangest of circumstances they had been brought together...
She was always there, like a shadow in his mind. Her presence made him feel like jelly...but still he could be himself around her because he felt no desire to be anyone else.
He shook his head. Why was he thinking like this? He wasn't a deep and meaningful kind of guy.
He was there for comic relief; the funny, witty, charming guy.
But he was the guy who didn't have feelings; he couldn't afford to have them when he lived in a house with Kirsten...and Ryan. Such dominant yet emotionally fragile people.
Except his dad of course. Sandy Cohen had been close to breakdown a couple of times, but had never let on to anyone, not even his wife.
Seth had to be the strong one. He feared that if he went to pieces his family would go down with him.
But his thoughts for a second lingered on her. Summer, and the things she said.
I love you Cohen.
You're so funny, Cohen.
How can you like that stuff, Cohen?
Cohen, Cohen, Cohen...
He shot a frustrated glance over to the beach where the two girls lay.
One, his love. The other, his lover.
Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, yeah
Make you wanna move your dancing feet now
To the rescue, here I am
Want you to know, y'all, can you understand?
"What do you think he's thinking?" Summer asked Marissa. She spoke of Seth as if he were God, with the same reverence in her tone.
"Well, I dunno Summ. I think he's thinking that he finally got you."
Summer raised an eyebrow at her friend. "Got me? No one gets Summer Roberts, she chooses you." She added in a self-admiring flick of her hair, giggling like a little girl. "But yeah, Seth's really got me hooked. It's awesome!"
"Well I'm happy for you Summ." Marissa tried to sound genuine but she couldn't help the bitterness coming through. It wasn't that she was selfish; she just missed having the same connection with Ryan that Seth and Summer now had...
"What's up Coop?"
Marissa thought for a second. She decided that it really was just..."It's Ryan. He's being really distant lately. He keeps talking about his family and Chino...and Theresa. I'm getting a little bit worried. What if life's too perfect for him here, and he misses all the bad shit he could do in Chino?...Or what if life isn't perfect enough?"
She lay back on her towel in silent thought.
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