Sacrifice

Chapter 1: Two Tickets to Ride

Leo sat in the back seat of a Lincoln Towncar, shoulders slumped from exhaustion. He must have sat in his office crying for half an hour. He couldn't remember the last time he cried like that. No. That was a lie. He could remember the last time vividly.

That morning. That last morning when they both knew it had to end. He completely and utterly broke down. His heart shattered the moment the door closed. Sure, he eventually picked himself up off the floor and moved on, but truth be told he never did pick his heart up again. Why should he? What use did he have with a broken, no scratch that, shattered heart? Besides it was not his to neither pick up nor repair. No ... that job, along with his heart, belonged to someone else. It was the same person who broke it and left it there on the floor of his living room.

'She was not to blame', Leo told himself. 'I was a fool to give my heart to her in the first place. She could never properly cherish a gift like that and we both knew it, because...' The unfinished thought lingered in his head until Leo angrily surmised, 'Because of 'Him'.

'Him" being her husband.

'Him' being his best friend.

'Yeah 'Him'', Leo thought, 'who had been such a good and loyal friend over the years. 'Feelings of guilt always plagued him for betraying their friendship. That guilt dissipated slightly when he found out about the MS but it came back fully after the incident at the hospital during the Roslyn crisis. He had let her go once again so that she and 'Him' could be together. Letting go of his only chance at true happiness a second time was a hard sacrifice, but one he thought was truly the right thing.

Suddenly the urge to laugh overtook Leo and he let out a chuckle. 'Him', that was how he was now referring to his best friend, the President of the United States. Since taking office Leo always addressed Jed as Mr. President or Sir, reserving the use of his first name for times of great personal strife or joy. It was just easier that way. 'When did I start thinking of him as only the president and not my friend Jed', he wondered. Leo couldn't recall off hand but he had a sneaky suspicion that it happened sometime shortly after Roslyn.

Oh, he could lie to himself and just say the job forced him to differentiate between the man and the office and he would be partly right. That would explain his addressing Jed with the respect of the office but it can't explain why he stopped thinking of him as Jed. He could also use the excuse that the trauma of the Roslyn shooting, resulting in him almost losing his best friend, was too much for him. So he purposely began distancing himself mentally, but that's just bull. Leo started doing it the moment she left him standing outside GW. Yeah, she left him and he had allowed her to go. To go be with 'Him' – Jed.

Times like this, when he felt so alone and small, Leo really needed his best friend. Wanting to avoid seeing the shame and pity in Jed's eyes, Leo knew going to 'Him' was not an option. No, he didn't want his best friend; he wanted his best friend's wife. But that too was also not an option. So, silently he rode to a cold – empty condo. The thought chilled him to the bone causing him to shiver. Unconsciously, he pulled his coat closer to himself as a dangerous thought crept into his head. 'A drink could be just the thing to rid me of this chill.'

Stomping all thoughts of alcohol out of his head was Leo's first reaction, but he stopped to mull it over. Leo reasoned, 'Why shouldn't I indulge myself with a drink. It has been a rough and long day. I just need something to take the edge off.'

Well the obvious argument would be that he's an alcoholic and it would not stop with a drink or two. The drunk in Leo countered by reminded him that he was an alcoholic no matter if he stayed sober or not. Besides, he'd been on the wagon for years, san that one night after losing the gun vote of Congressman Richardson. But no one, least of all the members of the judicial committee, seemed to care about that fact. After the holiday they would make him announce his relapse for the whole world to know. Then all he had worked for would be destroyed. Leo would be persona non grate in Washington, which would be the reason he'd have to resign his position as White House Chief of Staff. A role he rightfully earned and worked tirelessly to succeed at. But that was neither here nor there in the world of politics.

No, perception was the key and Leo would be perceived as another weak link in an already weak administration. Something would have to give, someone would have to be sacrificed and he knew it would be him. So he would resign and retire from politics altogether. No one would hire him after this. Not that he would work for anyone else. No, better he retire and... Do what? He had nothing else going in his life. Actually if you take away his job he had no life to speak of. That's the downside of being a workaholic. With that thought looming in his head he looked up at his driver and said, "Stop at that corner store Mike, I need to step out and get something."

A few minutes later the car pulled up to the curve and Leo hopped out. Walking into the store he went straight to the back, picked up a bottle of Gin and a bottle of Scotch. After purchasing the liquor he walked out with the illicit bottles in a brown paper bag. He reentered the car and as Mike pulled back into traffic Leo thought to himself, 'Well, I've just purchased two tickets to hell but at least they are first class.'

tbc