Title: Coming Clean
Author: acidreams
Rating: R
Pairing: Draco/Harry
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, nor do I own the lyrics. The boys belong to J.K.R., and the lyrics belong to… sadly enough Hilary Duff… "Coming Clean" is the title of the song.
Authors Note: I normally don't write… well okay so I do write Song fics… but never have I written a POP song fic… please don't hurt me.
Coming Clean
I watch you as you glide away. You've won yet another match, yet another game and I'm left alone again. It's not your fault really, it's not like you know. I can only imagine what your reaction would be. The boy-who-lived finding out that one of his worst enemies was madly in love with him.
"Mister Malfoy… maybe its time you came clean." Professor Dumbledor said softly, as he walked past me. I was about to refute that there was nothing to 'come clean' about, but he was already gone.
Come clean, indeed.
Lets go back,
Back to the Beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun the stars were all aligned
It's all my fault really, the reason we're not speaking. It all started our seventh year, the lines were being drawn. The neutrals were in just as much danger as the mudbloods. In Voldemort's eyes you were either on his side, or you were no better than the muggle lovers, and mudbloods.
My father had already decided, as my father was already a death eater, he remained a loyal follower of the Dark Lord, so he had decided for me that I was going to be a death eater, just as he was. As the time of my initiation grew nearer, I began to realize, that while I did agree with some of his viewpoints, the man was completely crazed. Killing off his loyal subjects just because he was displeased with their inability to kill you.
Imagine my father's dismay, and rage when he found out that the only Malfoy heir, had not only refused to join the death eaters, but had become a member of the Order of the Phoenix.
I had done so because I knew deep down that it would be you who won. And so the war raged, on and on. We lost a great many witches and wizards, but The Dark Lord lost even more.
'Cause perfect doesn't seem so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no life
I defy
It came down to a single moment in History. The Order members were spread out fighting various death eaters, in groups and alone. Over the smell over magic and feeling of the power, I saw them. I saw you.
My Harry…
You and the Dark Lord were locked into a standstill. You had fallen; none of the others were around so I raced to help you. I reached you just as the curse flew at you. I managed to block it, while you cast your curse. You put all of your remaining energy into the curse. You depleted every resource, including your life energy. The remaining death eaters fell as their lord did.
Though in truth I didn't see this, I didn't even see as the Dark Lord writhed and gasped, as the killing curse took its toll. I saw none of this, all my eyes could see was you, my Harry falling to the ground.
I caught you before he fell; you looked into my eyes as you gasped for air. I didn't know what to say, I wanted to tell you, to beg you to live, but all I could was to stare into your eyes. When suddenly, I began to feel a lightness settle over me, your eyes widened just as mine did. I knew I could save you. I poured all of my own energy into you. The last thing I remember is leaning over you, and whispering that I loved you. I kissed you and then I knew nothing, only this.
That you had to live.
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
They say I was unconscious for over two months. When I came to there was no one in my room, no well-wishers, and happy people to see me. Not that I would have expected any, it still hurt to know that there was no one in this world who cared about me enough to be there when I awoke.
Mind you I felt this way when I had woken up, at that time I didn't know it had been almost three months. And that as time went slowly by the doctors had given up on me ever recovering.
When the nurse entered the room to check my vitals to find me glaring at the ceiling, she almost died of heart attack.
"Oh my gods! You're awake! Doctor! Doctor!" The nurse yelled running out of my room.
I couldn't move, I couldn't feel anything.
I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of the truth
Beneath my skin
About a week after I woke up Professor Dumbledor, and You stopped by to check on me.
"Mister Malfoy, so good to see you." Albus said conjuring up a comfortable chair. I nodded my agreement. By this time I had regained the feeling in most of my body, I was now able to walk, not every far mind you but I could.
"Yeah Malfoy, good to see you lived." You said quietly, and I knew in that instant that so many he had cared for, had not.
"You too." I managed gruffly.
"Professor Dumbledor said I have you to thank for that." Harry said looking at me quietly. I just shrug my shoulders. He doesn't remember, so what's it matter.
"Well anyway um… thanks…" Harry said, before turning to go. You stopped only to hear my reply and then you left.
"You're welcome."
Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Than always staying in
Feel the wind
That was the last time I spoke to You, oh I saw you many, many times. Many more than you'll ever know. But that was the last time we spoke. I went to every speech you made, every Quiddich game. Everywhere you went there I was. I couldn't help it, I had to see you, even if I couldn't be with you, I needed to see you. If I didn't it was an almost physical pain that plagued me.
It was one of those times that I hadn't seen you for almost a week that I wound up in St.
Mungo's. Albus had come to visit, Snape, hell even Mrs. Weasley, and then one afternoon you came by. I felt it the moment you entered the building, it was like a ban around my chest began to loosen. And the moment you stepped into the room the pain left completely. It was then that I knew you were the cause of my pain. I hated you for it. But I couldn't tell you. I couldn't let you know why you affected me so. So I took out my anger on you.
"What the hell do you want Potter?" I spit, glaring from my place on the bed. Your faced closed up the moment my words left my mouth. Your eyes took on a hard edge, as did your voice.
"Nothing Malfoy just came to see you in a bit of discomfort." He snapped, spinning back out of my room and slamming the door behind you.
Come clean, yeah right.
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
Cause I want to feel the thunder
I want to scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
After that I only sought you out when the pain got to be uncomfortable. It was one of those times that it got to be too much that I followed you to a bar. I didn't pay attention nor care that we were venturing into the seedier parts of the wizarding world, I just knew that I had to follow you.
I looked up at the sign of the bar that you had chosen and imagine my surprise when I found out it was a gay bar. Well that answers one of my questions. I chose a table at the back of the bar, one hidden in the dark, I knew what these corners were for but they worked for my purposes just as well, besides I had a perfect view of you.
You sat at the bar seeming to be looking for something, you had done a slight glamour to yourself, my guess is to hide that fact that you were Harry bloody Potter. You sat there waiting for well over an hour before you looked up, at the end of the bar was a man, sending you a look.
You climbed off your seat to take a place next to the man. I hated him, he could touch you and I could not. His hair was bleached, he was tall, taller than I am, but not by much, and his eyes were ice chips, they were ice blue. He nodded toward the darker part of the bar, and you just shook you head in acceptance.
It took me only a moment to realize that they were headed to the corner nearest me, wrapping my self tight in my cloak I bowed my head and slid further back into the shadows, now thankful I had gone for my black cloak.
You chose the table that I had just vacated. How odd life can be. I knew that there was no way you could have seen me either enter or sit at that table. He kissed you neck, and touched every ounce of you body, my breathing matched yours, several times he tried to kiss you but you'd divert it to your neck or turn your head just in time.
Giving up on his attempt's to kiss you he went straight for the kill, He quickly spread the front of your robes and fell to his knees in front of you. He worked quickly and accurately. He knew exactly how to make you whimper, what made you moan, and what made you growl.
I filed it away in my mind, the sound of your breath as you gasped and moaned, your voice as you cried out. And then suddenly your entire body tensed, and you cried out, whispering. If I hadn't been as close to you as I was, I would have never heard you.
"Draco."
I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming clean
I stared in mute silence as he cleaned you up, and placed your flaccid member back inside your robes, closing them and then straightening then back up. He kissed you on the mouth this time you let him. He smiled softly, before trailing his hand down your cheek. He leaned over and whispered something into your ear, I didn't catch it, but I caught you're reply. "Thank you." Then he turned and left.
You sat there for a while longer. I was numb, my body was numb, I didn't know what to do, what to think. You had just had sex, with some stranger, and had called out my name. My name! A fact that the stranger didn't seem to mind much about, If it had been me I would have been infuriated.
But it wasn't and that's what got me the most. You had called my name while fucking another person. At some point during my personal tirade, you stood up and left the darkness, in fact you left the bar in general.
I stepped out of the shadows. I went to the bar, and sat down next to the man, you had let do that to you. I wanted to kill him. However, I just sat down next to him, he still smelt like you. I look over at him and am shocked by how much he looks like me.
I turn away and then leave the bar. I've too much to think about.
You called my name.
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
I walk, I don't know where I'm walking to I just do. Giving a sigh I look up to see where it is that I am, and am not surprised to see that I've wound up outside of your place. I have to, I'm here I might as well. I take the stairs to you door at least two at a time.
My hands are trembling, my heart is pounding and my palms are sweating. As I raise my hand to knock on the door the rain starts pouring, not just pouring torrential downfalls, and suddenly I feel as though everything before this is being washed away. Steeling my self, I knock on the door.
And there you are.
Lets go back, back to the beginning
I look at you and open my mouth to spill the words of my heart but all that comes out is, "Hi, my names Draco Malfoy. It's a pleasure to meet you." I say smiling; you're confused, but smiling yourself. And I realize we're back at the beginning, I'm being given a second chance to correct the mistake I made the first time as you reply.
"Harry Potter, and the pleasure is all mine." I laugh and pull you out into the rain before smashing my lips against yours.
I pull back from your lips long enough to say, "I should have done that the first time I met you. I wanted to, but I didn't let myself." I said, and then kissed the air out of you once more.
"So do I…" You sigh.
The end, maybe or maybe it's just the beginning.