Sacrifice

Ch 6: No More Hiding

"What?!" Abbey asked in confusion.

"Oh, don't worry. You're absolved of your part in this." Leo stated coldly.

Stunned, Abbey's mouth trembled as tears flowed from her eyes. "You have to forgive me," she pleaded. "I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I never...," she trailed off. Bringing her hand up Abbey fiercely gripped his shoulder and turned him towards her.

"I love you. I never meant for this to happen. I wish there was something I could do to stop this. I'm so afraid Leo. I can't stand to see what this is doing to you. I wish you could have heard yourself earlier. I have never seen or heard you sound so angry before. You scared me Leo. For the first time since we've been together I honestly felt scared and ashamed. I never wanted to associate those words with you and especially not with us."

That statement gave Leo pause. He turned his gaze from the ceiling to Abbey as she continued her confession. "I don't know how to fix this, how to make it better. I always know how to fix things. I'm a doctor, that's what I do. I save people, but I can't seem to save you from this, and that terrifies me because I know now that I'm going to lose you. I can't bear it Leo. I don't want to know a world with you not in it. So you have to forgive me Leo." Abbey paused to breathe but a sob broke free. She shook from trying to hold back the rest of her cries. "I just... I just... Oh, god," unable to hold back her pain, she stop speaking and began to cry.

"Hey, hey. I'm sorry. Gob, Abigail. I don't know why I said that. I don't know what's wrong with me. I never wanted to hurt you or make you scared of me and ashamed of us. I love you. I'm just so scared," Leo confessed as he sat up. "I'm tired, Abigail. I'm so tired," he choked out as he grabbed her into a tight embrace.

"You have to forgive me Leo. Please."

"Baby, I forgive you. I do. I..." he paused to cup her chin in his hand pulling her head up to face him. Looking directly in those pools of green he longed to get lost in, he declared, "You're my life. Don't you know that? God I love you so much it hurts. I'm so sorry about tonight. I don't want to lose you again Abigail. Please, I'm begging you, don't leave me again."

She tighten her hold on him as they lied back down, still entangled in each others arms. They stayed like that, crying for their own pain and for the pain they both had inflicted on each other, till sleep finally took them.

Next Morning

The sun was starting to rise when Leo awoke. Abbey lied in his arms quietly observing him.

"Did you sleep any?" Leo asked.

"Yeah. A little bit."

"How long have you been awake?"

"I don't know. Maybe an hour, hour and a half."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I wanted to let you sleep. Besides you looked so peaceful."

"I always do when you're beside me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Leo paused to gather his courage then preceded, "Look about what happened last night. What I said. I..." Abbey cut him off by putting her finger to his mouth.

"It's OK."

"No. It's not"

"Leo"

"Abbey..."

"Don't Leo. You never have to explain yourself to me, not about this."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah"

They sat there in silence contemplating last night and its implications. Abbey snapped back to the present reality first and announced, as she roused from the bed, "I have to go."

"Yeah. I knew you were gonna say that."

"Leo, I'm not running away, but I have to go home."

"To the White House or New Hampshire?"

"Manchester," she answered as she walked into the bathroom.

Leo just lied in the bed trying to figure out if it was a good thing she was going to New Hampshire instead of the White House. 'Is she really not running away? If she goes back to the White House will she tell Jed? Will Jed be suspicious?' Before he could think of answers to those questions Abbey emerged from the bathroom. "I'm not trying to avoid him. I just need to be alone right now."

Leo was a little shocked by her statement. 'How is she able to read my mind like that?' He thought about asking her but decided to say, "I know."

"Do you?" she asked as she began to dress.

"Yes. I understand. You need time to think."

"Yes I do. We both do," she amended while walking towards the door. Leo began to rise up out of the bed to walk her out, but she turned and said, "No, don't get up. I'll let myself out."

"Abbey."

"Leo, please." She implored while making a stopping motion with her hands for emphasis.

Leo stopped and sat back down in his bed, drawing the sheets around him to block the morning air. She nodded as she turned to leave. Just before she closed the door she said over her shoulder. "It's Abigail by the way." Then she turned and looked him in the eye before saying, "I'm you Abigail."

So choked up by her statement, with a lopsided grin, he could only think to say, "Yes. You are." She grinned back, turned and walked out the door.

Leo lied back down and stared up at the ceiling. He felt tired but also at peace. He knew what was said and done there that night would forever change his life. Rather for good or bad had yet to be seen, but at least their love, right or wrong, would no longer be a secret. The revealing of their love would cause a lot of pain; the sense of betrayal Jed would feel would be unthinkable, but it was also inevitable. The first time Abbey and Leo kissed they knew someday Jed would be hurt. The two people he trusted more than anyone else in this world had continuously betrayed him. 'Oh god. Jed I'm so sorry. You don't deserve what is about to happen to you.' Leo thought. But he also knew it had to happen. He was tired of this secret. He was tired of secrets altogether. No, he was just plain tired and with last thought he closed his eyes.

Abbey walked down the stairs in a state of confusion. She didn't know what she was going to do but she knew that last night was a turning point. She grabbed her coat off the back of sofa and slid it on. Noticing the brown paper bag on the stand by the front door, she thought, 'I hope Leo doesn't have anything that would spoil in there.' Abbey decided to check and what she saw gave her pause. She pulled the two bottles out of the bag and stared at them. 'My God. What if I hadn't shown up? Leo was going to drink last night.'

She nervously rubbed her right hand over her neck while thinking about what Leo could have done if he came home to an empty house. She felt the teeth indentures he left on her last night. Those marks would ensure that her life with Jed would never be the same. Sure she could hide the marks with a turtleneck and makeup but she wasn't going to do that. No her love for Leo, and her betrayal of Jed, could no longer remain hidden. She had all but promise him that earlier. The price for breaking that promise was abundantly clear to her as she walked towards the kitchen. She opened the bottles, poured the liquor out and placed both bottles into the trash. Thoughts of going back upstairs to confront Leo swam in her head but Abbey decided against it. She just walked slowly towards the door, opened it, and walked out into a scary future of her own making. Certain only in the fact that she was Abigail, there would be no more hiding behind Abbey.

Fini