Chapter 13

Across the Great Hall, Harry and Ron managed to find an open table, and sat down with glasses of punch. It was the first time that they had taken a break from dancing in an hour.

"Here's to Aunt Isabelle and her dancing lessons." Harry held up his punch glass in a toast.

"I'll drink to that," Ron replied. "Why is it that girls always go the bathroom in groups?"

"Beats me. Hey, I saw you getting pretty cozy with my cousin earlier. Are you sure that you have honorable intentions?"

"Harry, my friend, I have plenty of intentions, and I can assure you that not a one of them is honorable."

He laughed. "All I have to say is good luck, and dream on."

"No joke. Kind of hard to steal a girl away from her absentee boyfriend under the nose of her father."

"Hey, speaking of bad intentions, check out Neville over there," Harry nodded his head in the direction of the dance floor. Isabelle must've taught Neville to dance, too, because he was expertly leading Ginny around the dance floor.

"Excuse me. What is he doing with my baby sister?" Ron fumed.

"The same thing you want to do with Hermione. I feel sorry for the guy, having to deal with her four red-headed, overprotective brothers."

"Oh, sure. Just look at them. Charlie doesn't realize that anyone other than Fleur exists, Fred's slow dancing in a corner with Angelina, and George left a half hour ago to snog Star in the trophy room."

"What's going on?" Hermione asked.

"Just telling Harry about my lovesick brothers," he replied.

"I guess dancing does that to you. Oh, Cho told me to tell you that she's dancing with Draco for a little while."

"Do what?" Harry exploded.

"Don't get mad at me. I think she's a little, well, shallow for you anyway."

"Two words for you: Viktor Krum," he countered.

"What about him?"

"He's a boring prat. My History of Magic textbook is more interesting than being around him."

Her eyes shot fire. "Oh, yeah? Well, check out what your amazingly intellectual date is doing on the dance floor." She was draped around Draco. Hermione thought that she saw steam rise from Harry's ears, and couldn't help snickering.

Isabelle saw the look on Harry's face, and walked over to their table. "What are y'all up to?"

"Oh, just watching my date throw herself at Malfoy. Nothing much."

"Well, I thought she was a little shallow for you anyway," she said reassuringly.

"Thank you," Hermione said, vindicated.

"Looks like Lucius has to deal with her now," Isabelle laughed to herself. "Better him than me."

"You know Draco's father?" Harry asked.

"Um-hum," she said, winking at Hermione. "See y'all later."

"What was that about?" Ron asked.

"No clue. It's impossible to figure her out anyway. Sirius is the only one who seems to understand her. Better to just go with the flow," Harry replied.

"Speaking of Papa, where is he?" She scanned the room.

"Over there," Ron pointed. He was talking to Remus, Andrew Patil and Isabelle.

"He looks so bored," she pointed out. "I don't think he likes Professor Patil."

"I don't think Aunt Isabelle likes Sara," Harry said confidentially.

"Really. Interesting," Hermione said slowly. "I so want her gone before Papa marries her and she becomes my wicked stepmother."

"Ok. First of all, what gives you the idea that they're that serious? Second, she would be my wicked stepmother, too."

She looked at Harry like he just dropped in from another planet. "Oh, please. It's so obvious that she's trapped him in her web, just waiting to devour all his money."

"Has anyone ever said that you have a flair for the dramatic?"

"Don't let me say I told you so when we're stuck with her. At least she's not here tonight."

"Maybe she makes him happy, Hermione. He certainly doesn't look happy right now," Ron said.

"Maybe he doesn't dance," she said, making an excuse.

"He does dance. I've seen pictures of him dancing with Aunt Isabelle."

She turned around, eyes huge. "Harry James Potter, you're an absolute genius!"

"What did I say?"

"Oh, come on." She drug a perplexed Harry and Ron over to where Sirius was talking.

Isabelle narrowed her eyes. "What are y'all up to?"

"We wanted to see you dance," Hermione said.

"I've been dancing all night."

"Yeah, like fun stuff. For the past six months all we've heard about is how our family is famous for slow dancing. We just wanted a demonstration."

She shrugged. "You up to it, Remus?"

"Not my style. I guess you're stuck with him over there," he responded.

Sirius gulped. The last time that he had danced, really danced, was sixteen years ago at James and Lily's five year anniversary party. The two results of that particular party were staring at him expectantly. He didn't even know if he could dance anymore, and even if he could, whether it would be a good idea to dance with Isabelle. But, what would it hurt? It was only one dance, and would placate Hermione. He knew she wouldn't quit asking until he gave in.

"Ok, but nothing too slow; wouldn't want to fall asleep on the dance floor," he replied.

"You got it," Isabelle said, walking over to talk to the dj. After a minute, she returned. "All set, partner."

In the forty-five seconds that it took Isabelle to talk to the dj, the entire Great Hall buzzed with the news that Professor Evans and Professor Black were going to dance together. They walked to the center of the dance floor, and the music began.

I don't want to hear about it anymore,
It's a shame I've got to live without you anymore.

"Can you keep up, old man?" she teased.

"I could ask you the same question, little girl."

She winked, and began singing.

There's a fire in my heart,
A pounding in my brain, it's driving me crazy.

Ever since he had first taught her to dance, singing along with the tract was her trademark. But when had her voice become so sultry, so enticing? Just like a moth to a flame, Sirius found himself magnetically pulled to her, in spite of his efforts to remind himself that this is just a simple dance. But, there was nothing simple about this dance, this woman, or where she fit into his life. To distract himself from thinking, he led her though an incredibly difficult series of turns, cheered on by the crowd.

We don't need to talk about it anymore.
Yesterday's just a memory; can we close the door?
I just made one mistake,
I didn't know what to say when you called me baby.

And when did she learn to dance like this, he wondered in amazement. They moved across the floor in perfect harmony. Neither Sirius nor Isabelle had ever danced like this before – it was innocent and sensual at the same time, and breathtakingly intense. No one could take their eyes off them, wondering what they would do next.

Don't say goodnight,
Say you're gonna stay forever,
Oh, whoa, all the way.

Despite his best efforts, Sirius admitted to himself that he was not a gentleman or a saint. A gentleman would not do this, he thought, sliding his hand down her back and pulling her closer to him. And a saint would feel guilty about how much he enjoyed her reaction, especially her playful grin as he began to sing along.

Can you take me high enough
to fly me over yesterday?
Can you take me high enough?
It's never over and yesterday's just a memory,
Yesterday's just a memory.
And I don't want to live without you anymore.
Can't you see I'm in misery?
And you know for sure
I would live and die for you
And I'd know just what to do when you call me baby.

Don't say goodbye
Say you're gonna stay forever,
Oh, whoa, all the way.

Severus Snape walked into the entrance of the castle, and heard cheers coming from the direction of the Great Hall. Although he was exhausted, his curiosity got the best of him, so he quietly crept through the hallway. Apparently there was a dance going on, a Muggle Studies one from the looks of it. And the crowd was cheering on a couple dancing. He recognized them immediately, and began to study Isabelle through narrowed eyes as the music played.

Can you take me high enough
Can you fly me over yesterday?
Can you take me high enough?
It's never over and yesterday's just a memory of running.

I was running
I was running for the door
The next thing I remember
I was running back for more
Oo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Her face was so peaceful and happy as she sang the words. He called her his songbird, because she just couldn't help singing along when she danced. The first time he called her that, at her high school prom, she laughed and corrected him. She said that her singing was a dirge, because dancing brought back painful memories, but she couldn't help herself from dancing. She sang through the pain, like a thornbird, not a songbird.

Thornbird. Suddenly, he had the urge to hit something. Oh, Isabelle, you tried to tell me all along, didn't you? he thought. And I was too blind to see what was in front of me this whole time. But, you're doing your best to take away his blindness, aren't you? He shook his head, and watched, stony faced.

Don't say goodbye
Say you're gonna stay forever,
Oh, whoa, all the way, all the way,
Come all the way, yeah.

Can you take me high enough
Can you fly me over yesterday?
Can you take me high enough?
It's never over.

Sirius was in utter torment. Admit it, you've fallen head over heels in love with the only woman on this earth who you are legally and morally forbidden from being with. For Isabelle is not just your best friend and confidant, he reminded himself. She is also your adopted daughter. And that decision, made fourteen years ago, prevents any hope of a relationship now. He felt like a knife sliced through his heart.

Isabelle looked at Sirius as the music ended, puzzled at his sudden formal demeanor. She frowned slightly, as their students crowded around them, chattering excitedly. Through the crowd, she got the distinct feeling that Severus was here. Ignoring the students' questions and compliments, she snuck out of the Great Hall and walked to the dungeons. He was leaning against a table, arms crossed.

"I've been here for five minutes. You're slipping," he said coldly.

"I know. I'm sorry, I was--"

"Indisposed. I saw. Tell me, Isabelle, how long has he played Father Ralph to your Meggie?"

She flinched, looking away. "What are you talking about?"

He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked straight into her eyes. "Lie to him, lie to yourself, even, but don't lie to me. You made your feelings perfectly clear on that dance floor."

"Always. Ever since I was a little girl," she said quietly. "I have never tried to hide it. No one wanted to see the obvious."

He snorted. "For the past two months, Isabelle, I have been living around your charming ex-husband, who swore to anyone who would listen that you left him to be with Black, and that you're a danger to their cause. I refused to believe him. But, I come home, and what do I see? That your idiot of a husband knows you better than anyone, apparently. Why did you marry him if you really loved Black?"

"I'm just a simple woman, Severus. All I've ever wanted was a husband, a family, a home to call my own. I didn't ask for fame, or fortune, or anything that people usually desire. But, I got it just the same. After nine years of waiting and hoping for a miracle, I lost hope. Sergei was there, he was charming, and-- "

"He reminded you of Sirius Black."

"At first, yes. You know the rest. Oh," she screamed, "it wasn't supposed to be this way! I wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. It was just a silly schoolgirl crush on my childhood hero. But, then Regina died. She wasn't supposed to die; I didn't want her to. Ever since the day she died, all I've ever wanted is for him to see me the same way he did her. I know he loves me, and he needs me as a person. Tonight, for those five minutes, he saw me as a woman. It's unrealistic to daydream of happy ever after with him. I love him so much that I can't live without him, but living with him is pure misery. So, please don't add to my pain, Severus."

"Add to your pain? You brought it all on yourself. I refuse to be sympathetic, Isabelle. You, of all people, should be able to see the consequences of your actions. This is life, not one of your Muggle soap operas."

"You're such a hypocrite, Severus Snape. If I'm Meggie, then you are Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights. Remember watching that movie with me when I was in high school? Spending your time mourning a woman who left you and married another man, and died bearing his child. And, oh, how much energy you devote into hating that child. If you would forget about Regina and her daughter for even five minutes, then maybe you could find happiness with someone else. But, no, you won't. You think you're so different from Sirius, but you're not. Both of you are in love with her memory. It's really quite pathetic," she spat.

"No, devoting your entire life to a man you have never had is pathetic. You are a fool for loving him, and an idiot to think that you can just live with him in platonic harmony. Please. We both know that you won't be satisfied with just those five minutes. Save the noble speeches for someone else. I'm sick of mopping up the mess you make of your personal life. You're on you own for this one. Don't come crying to me when this relationship falls apart, just like every other one you've ever had." He turned to walk out the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Away. Dumbledore isn't expecting me until after the New Year anyway. I need a break."

"From what?"

"From you and the perpetual drama that surrounds your life. I love you, but you're just a little too much to handle right now. Do me a favor and get some sense before I return. Merry Christmas."

She watched him stomp out of the dungeon without looking back. After sitting on the table for a minute to gain her composure, she walked back to the Great Hall. When she got to the doorway, the full impact of Snape's words hit her, and she leaned against the doorway, trying not to cry. He was right, of course. She needed to use her head, not her heart, about Sirius. And her head told her to leave that dance as just that – a dance. Nothing more, nothing changes.

"Isabelle? Are you alright?"

She opened her eyes. Speak of the devil, and he will appear, she thought, shaking her head no.

"What's wrong?"

Why did he have to look so concerned, so caring? "Sev's back. Well, he's gone now."

Oh, Sirius thought. "Is that why you ran out of here so quickly?"

She nodded, beginning to shake from trying not to lose her composure. Before he realized what he was doing, he pulled her to him. And despite knowing that she should just walk away from him, she clung to him for dear life.

"What did he say to you to make you this upset?"

"That I'm a fool and an idiot for loving the man I do," she said without thinking. Once the words were out of her mouth, she cursed herself for being so stupid. If Severus knew the truth, then Sirius probably did, as well. How could he not know after she walked around with her heart on her sleeve for so long?

He thought for a minute. Well, she obviously still thinks of me as a father figure. Why else would she confide in me this way? Not that I should have expected anything else, of course. His heart sank through the floor.

"Maybe Snape is right. Belle, sometimes you just love someone who doesn't love you back. And the best thing to do is to move on and find someone else who can love you and stop wasting your time dreaming about a relationship that can never be." Although he couldn't have her, he certainly didn't want Malfoy to have her, either.

Her hurt, wounded eyes stared into his, as his words pierced her soul. "Of course. You're right. Please excuse me, I have a dance to run," she responded emotionlessly, escaping to the Great Hall.

-----

This night couldn't be more perfect, Ron decided. Well, as perfect as possible, considering that every living member of Hermione's family was lurking around. But, for the past half hour, he had had her to himself. Harry and Isabelle both stomped off somewhere, and Sirius must've gone to look for one or both of them. And Krum was half a continent away.

"Ron?"

"Hmm?"

"What's going on over there?" She nodded her head towards the refreshment table, where Isabelle was talking to Professor Patil.

"Dunno. Who cares?" he said, twirling her around on the dance floor. She laughed.

"Seriously, Ron."

"Seriously, Hermione, can't you stop nosing into other people's lives for just one dance?"

"Maybe. If you're lucky."

"I'm feeling very lucky," he said honestly. "Besides, look, they're dancing. What's so bizarre about that?"

"Oh, just the fact that Papa walked up to them and is trying to cut in. And Professor Patil doesn't look too happy."

"I think he succeeded. Hey, you want him and Isabelle to get together, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Would you feel like you could get romantic with your daughter fifteen feet away from you?"

"Good point. Maybe we should take a walk or something. Give them some privacy."

That was exactly what Ron wanted to hear. Nope, tonight couldn't be more perfect, he thought.

-----

"What could possibly be so important that you have to take me away from my date?" Isabelle asked as they danced.

"Two things. Well, three really. One, I'm doing you a favor by rescuing you from your 'date'. Two, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for upsetting you earlier. And the third – well, I have to show you something."

"What?"

"Come on." He led her to the now vacant trophy room.

"Ok, it's a bunch of trophies and stuff. Fascinating."

He rolled his eyes. "Not all the Quiddich cups James won. This," he said, pointing to a plaque on the wall.

"What about the Plaque of Shame?"

"Just look."

She ran her finger down the plaque showing all of the past head boys and girls, pausing at her sister's name. Tears welled up in her eyes, as she ran her finger across the engraving.

"Keep going," Sirius said.

Ten places down, her finger stopped abruptly. "You didn't."

The plaque read:
Head Boy: Andrew Patil
Head Girls: Isabelle Evans; Allison Lee

"I did. I did some research, and it turns out that you did get a Hogwarts diploma that year, and you did have higher marks than Allison Lee. By a longshot, too. So, I talked Dumbledore into updating the records. It's the first time in Hogwarts history that there have been two head girls. Congratulations on continuing the tradition of shame, Belle."

She hugged him so fiercely that he thought that she cracked at least two ribs.

"Whoa, easy there," he laughed.

She looked at him with happy, teary eyes, and he knew that this simple act had brought some closure to the past. She deserved it, and much more, for all that she had been through. Suddenly, Sirius realized that her arms were still wrapped around his neck, and just how close her face was to his. And how the look on her face seemed to mirror his own thoughts. He leaned down, and did the unthinkable.

Their lips met, and a whirlwind of emotion swept through him. No longer could he ever confuse her for the child she once was. He knew that this kiss, these feelings were wrong. Unlike a normal parent-child relationship, she had no natural animosity towards him, no need to rebel against his authority. On the contrary, whatever he said was right and proper to do was accepted without question. All those years ago, he thought he was simply helping to raise an orphaned little girl, but instead, he created his ideal woman. And this realization made her his forbidden fruit, the perfect sin. To exploit his own weakness this way was a crime against her.

But what a sweet sin it is, he admitted, as she responded to his kiss and laced her fingers through his hair. Oh, Isabelle, what have I done to you? If it's any consolation, he thought, I will spend the rest of my life in agony watching you love another man. And praying at the same time that you won't love me, that you'll be spared my pain. He broke off the kiss abruptly, and took a slight step back from her, not knowing what to say.

"Well, uh, I think I should get back to the dance now. It'll be ending soon, and I need to clean up," she babbled.

"Uh, yeah, good idea," he stammered back. If the past few minutes meant anything to Isabelle, she didn't show it. He didn't know whether to be heartbroken or relieved. They eyed each other nervously, and quickly walked to the Great Hall.

A stunned Hermione and Ron stepped out from behind a particularly large trophy case, where they had seen and heard everything.

"Can you believe that?" she whispered.

"I know. Poor Harry. Another head girl in the family. That's a lot of pressure to live up to."

"Not that, you stupid git. Papa and Isabelle kissing all over the place. Hopefully that's goodbye Sara."

Ron rolled his eyes. At this rate, he'd never get a chance to be alone with Hermione.

-----

Just pick up the trash, Isabelle. Never mind that there's a host of house-elves to do it for you, just keep working. Anything to keep from thinking about that kiss.

That kiss. For at least fourteen years, and more if she admitted to it, she wondered what it would be like to kiss Sirius Black. And, she felt like a goofy teenager agonizing over it. She couldn't help herself –– being with him was her only childhood dream for the future. For those precious few moments, it was as if their very souls were intertwined.

Oh, shut up, she told herself. Souls intertwined? Please. He was there, I was there, we kissed, that's it. Soul mates exist only in silly romance novels, not in real life. And, the reality is that will probably never happen again.

Despite her attempts at stoicism, her face visibly fell. Why can't he love me the way that I love him? she thought. Can't he see that I'm not a child anymore? Or just how good we could be for each other? She kicked an empty drink cup across the Great Hall floor, soccer-style, that hit the wall with a loud thud and rolled under a table.

"Nice shot," Remus called from the opposite corner of the room.

"I was the captain of my soccer team in high school, thank you very much," she shot back.

"Issues?" he asked, walking across the room to where she stood.

"Sort of, yeah," she replied quietly.

"What's up?"

"I can't tell you right now," she whispered.

"Why not?" he whispered back, in a joking fashion.

"Because I don't want Sirius to know, you prat, and he's heading this way."

Remus raised his eyebrows. Ever since she was little, Sirius was always the first person she ran to with a problem, even before Lily. What kind of problem could she possibly have that she wanted to talk to him, instead?

"Are you finished?" Sirius asked them, a little too casually.

"Yeah. Remus and I are going to take a quick walk, ok? We'll see you back at the house," she said hurriedly, dragging Remus outside.

"What was that all about?"

"I need to talk to you, and it couldn't wait."

"About?"

"Well, it's about this guy," she began.

He smirked. "Uh-huh."

"Stop it! I'm serious here. Well, I've liked him for a while, and something happened tonight that just confuses me. But, you have to swear not to tell another living soul. Especially Severus."

This is sounding good, Remus thought. "Shoot."

"Sirius kissed me,"" she said very rapidly.

"Say what? Was that in Gaelic?"

"No. Sirius kissed me," she said slowly.

Remus looked at her like she had grown four new heads and developed purple polka dots. "Yeah, I think we do need to talk," he said, leading her to a secluded bench. "How did this happen?" She explained the situation briefly.

"I've fancied him since I was a little girl, Remus. I just don't know what to do."

This was not something he was prepared to handle, but yet, here she was, desperately in need of advice. What was Sirius thinking? "Well, realistically you can't be with him because he's your adopted parent," he said practically.

"Not exactly true."

"What do you mean, not exactly true?"

"Swear on my dead sister's life not to tell a living soul."

This must be serious, he thought. "I swear," he said, hoping he wouldn't live to regret it.

"Ok. Remember when you were in Germany doing your James Bond thing and the rest of us left Dover?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, thanks to Voldemort, Lily, James and Sirius thought their days were numbered. And thanks to Petunia, I had no inheritance from my parents. And because of Harry, I couldn't inherit any money from Lily because I wasn't her direct heir anymore. Something about marital property or some mess like that. I don't know. Anyway, only Lily had custody of me, which she gave to Sirius when we moved. Is this ringing a bell?"

"Vaguely. Go on."

"So, they were afraid that if one or all of them died, I could end up penniless and back with Petunia. We all know what a terrific job she did raising me the first time around. They developed a plan where Lily and Sirius would both adopt me. That way, if one of them died, the other automatically got custody of me without having to deal with Petunia. And, I could inherit money from both of them."

"I remember that plan, Isabelle. I was there when Lily signed the papers."

"Well, yeah, that was the week that our lives fell apart. Sirius signed the papers the day he left to run after Pettigrew. Before he left, he told me to make sure to owl them to the courthouse. Well, uh, I sort of left them on the kitchen table and let Severus blow them sky high."

"No papers filed, no adoption, no incest now," he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Exactly."

"You have to tell Sirius, you know."

"I can't. Then he'll know how I feel about him, and have felt since I was sixteen years old."

"You could say that it was an accident. After all, it was stressful, and packing for a baby could've made you forget. But, he really needs to know the truth."

"Only if you promise not to say anything about the kiss."

"Deal." Well, Padfoot, old friend, what kind of mess have you gotten yourself into now? Remus wondered as they trudged through the snow, on their way back to the house.

-----

Isabelle quietly climbed the stairs to head for bed. It had been a long, eventful night, and she simply wanted to disappear into her room to think. At least the dance itself was a success, she thought gratefully, opening her door. She flipped on the light, and jumped.

"I think you took ten years off my life," she gasped. "Are you a vampire, or do you just like to sit in the dark?"

"Sorry. Thanks to Azkaban, I can only think in the dark."

"What are you thinking about?" she asked awkwardly.

"Tonight. I don't know what was going on, Isabelle. It was just--"

"Crazy. And thoughtless. Maybe we should forget about it. People do odd things at Christmastime." She smiled.

At least this isn't awkward, Sirius thought gratefully. It wasn't exactly the response that he wanted from her, but at least they could talk about it. "Sure. Merry Christmas, by the way."

"Merry Christmas. That reminds me of something that I want to give you." She rummaged through her dresser drawers, until finding a tall stack of envelopes neatly tied together with red twine.

"What's this?" he asked, taking the package from her outstretched hand.

She sat down on the bed beside him, and untied the twine. "Every Christmas since you went to prison, I've written you a Christmas card. On Christmas Eve, I would sit down and write everything that's going on in my life. When I was finished, I would put a couple of pictures in the envelope, and seal it up. That way, when you got out of prison, you would know that I never forgot you during all these years. So, here you go – the past fourteen years in a nutshell."

Sirius was completely speechless. Isabelle never ceased to amaze him with her thoughtfulness and loyalty. Oh, how he loved her! If only he had listened to the advice of the past, he would have realized that falling in love with her was inevitable, and that fighting it is a war against himself. He came to Hogwarts prepared to fight against Death Eaters, Voldemort, pure evil itself, not his own heart. And no spell, charm or potion could help him win this war.

"Thank you," he managed to say. "I, uh--"

She put her finger on his lips. "It's ok. I know."

No, he thought, you don't know. And if I have my way, you'll never know just how much I love you. And need you, in every way humanly imaginable. A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Yes?" Isabelle called.

"Um, am I interrupting something?" Hermione asked with a weird look on her face.

"No," they replied simultaneously.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked.

"I'm looking for Harry. Have you seen him?"

"I haven't," Isabelle said. "Have you?" Sirius shook his head no.

"Oh. Thanks anyway," she said, disappointed. With that same weird look, she looked from Isabelle to Sirius and back again, and quickly left the room, closing the door firmly behind her.

"What was that about?"

"I don't know. She's your kid," Isabelle reminded him.

"Doesn't mean that I understand her. Well, on that note, I think I'll go to bed. Night, Belle," he said, escaping into the bathroom.