Winkelhaven ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he masturbated and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran, trying to escape from the angry mobs of Gondor. However, he did not have a banana upon his nose anymore, making it much harder and much more tiresome! Poor Winkelhaven almost dropped dead from running. However, he at last found himself in Mordor. He glanced around and then jigged for joy! He was at last where he wanted to end up all along. Now was the time to put his plan into action. He ate a piece of celebratory cheese he found in his pocket and then began to work. After many many hours, he found himself looking at a large contraption that somewhat resembled a gargantuan nose-hair trimmer. Now to find an oliphaunt...

Alas, after 3 years of searching, Winkelhaven found an orphan oliphaunt and befriended it. He harnessed the giant nose-hair trimmer to Sir Mix-a-Lot ("EVERYONE should name at least one of their pets Sir Mix-a-Lot in their lifetime!" he had thought.) and sat upon his large, hairy, smelly, icky, and totally yucky back. They marched along like this for 72 years, (Young Winkelhaven was no longer young!) until Sir Mix-a-Lot dropped dead from exhaustion!

Perhaps I should explain WHY Winkelhaven had an Oliphaunt drag a giant nose-hair trimmer around with him. Winkelhaven meant to shave down all of Middle Earth so it had no standing buildings or living people and then he would have total domination. However, he didn't even get out of Mordor due to the extreme slowness of Sir Mix-a-Lot. Poor Winkelhaven was devastated! Time to use another plan!

Winkelhaven stripped himself naked and painted himself bright pink with black polka dots in strategic places. He hastily grabbed a banana and ran to Gondor.

"Look at me, I'm in the nude! Huahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahuahau!" he shouted at Lord Aragorn. Too bad Aragorn was so terribly high that he did not realize the danger he was in. A few seconds exposed to Winkelhaven's nakedness would have been okay. Sure, a few years would have come off his life, but nothing major. But any more than 10 and KAPUT! you'd die of disgustedness! Poor Aragorn went KAPUT! and there was much rejoicing. Mainly from Arwen. "WOO HOO! NO HUSBAND! ROCK ON! BRING ON THE POT!!!!"

And I'll stop there!

READ AND REVIEW! I know this story is crap, and that it's not that funny, but it's my first TECHNICAL fanfic. It's not the first I posted, (James and Lily's Lively Conversation took that spot.) but it's the first fic that I started to write. It would be bad luck not to finish it. If you want, I can kill Winkelhaven off in one or two more chapters and be done with it! I think I will do that! YAYNESS! Tell me if you review!

A/N: Did anyone notice that in the "and he ran and he ran and he ran" part right in the middle I added, "And he masturbated"? Just trying to see if ya'll are awake! (I love randomly disturbing people!