Disclaimer: Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2, Spira, blitzball, and all related characters and locations are owned by Squaresoft, with the exception of a few original characters who will be noted as such. This is a work of fanfiction, meaning that it is both created by a fan for no purpose other than entertainment, and it is fiction, meaning that all characters and events are purely fictonal and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
So how many of you opened the story because you thought the back-of-cover blurb was cool and then wondered what you're doing in Besaid when you're supposed to be in Bikanel? Yeah. I would've been confused too. Just bear with me. I swear it'll all make sense soon.
Oh, and lawyers: please don't sue me. Yay.
Author's Note: The narrator of this story is Al Bhed, and some dialogue and idiomatic phrases have not been translated into English. Translations of all Al Bhed phrases can be found at the end of the chapter in which they appear.
Green Eyes Plays Dress-Up
by flame mage
spherechange 2: Disaster in Bloom
**********
"So tell me again why I'm doing this," I asked Bickson for maybe the fourteenth time since we'd gotten off the Kilika-Luca ferry. It was a gorgeous day as usual in Luca, the kind that's just too damn pretty to waste doing interviews for a pansy-ass reporter with bad fashion sense who works for a sphere network that no one watches anyway because everyone's too busy with their own moronic political factionalism. But I'm ranting again.
He glanced over at me. He'd already heard this thirteen previous times; he was probably getting sick of it. "Goodness of your heart?"
"Not on your life."
"Dinner at Mitza's--on me."
"Sold. Where are we meeting this chick?"
"The square. She said she'd have the whole thing set up."
At least she didn't lie. The entire square was rigged with lights and cameras and mikes. The whole mess was, predictably, focused on the fountain, which was apparently going to be the picturesque backdrop for my big cable debut.
I'd been on the scene maybe 0.03 seconds before a woman in a large green birdlike outfit fluttered up to me. She looked high-strung enough to fit Bickson's description of Shelinda, but the mike she was carrying probably would've clued me in to who she was anyway. Just to make sure I wasn't dealing with some network flunky, though, I asked, "So you'd be Shelinda, am I right?"
"Sure am!" she answered perkily. Whoa. Someone had had her coffee that morning. "And of course you're the famous Linna. Well, are you ready to get started?" I started to say something. I have no idea what, because it didn't matter. She had already launched.
"Hi, everyone! I'm here today in sunny Luca with one of blitzball's biggest names, Linna of the Besaid Aurochs! Since her appearance on the blitz circuit more than two years ago, this Al Bhed hotshot has made herself famous among fans--and infamous among members of the other teams in the major leagues--for her Nap Shot 3." She finally paused for a breath. Oh. Hey. The cameras were rolling.
"So, Linna," she chirped, "blitz season's coming up! What do you think about the changes to the game in the Spira League?"
I winced. Those changes were still a really sore subject with me--and every other blitzer in Spira, as evidenced by Bickson's gag reflex off-camera. The Spira League was the name given to the first tournament of the blitz season, and it is the bane of our existences. This is because it was developed not by blitzers, but by bureaucrats in New Yevon who decided the game needed a twist and that the best way to obtain said twist was to remove all the actual challenges in the gameplay. The Spira League tournament was now based almost entirely on pre-game strategy--that is, who's in what position and what kind of formations the team's going to use. As if that weren't bad enough, game length has been cut in half and most tech shots have been banned, rendering my trademark Nap Shot 3 absolutely useless. I firmly believe that this has had a profound negative impact on Spirans' attention spans. Then again, no one listens to me anyway--or so I thought until about three hours after that interview ended.
"Why are you asking me this? Hey, suits, they suck, don't make us do this," I moaned. "At least we still have the regular season to look forward to after Spira League, or Luca'd have a strike on its hands."
"That's great," she breezed through, cutting me off. "Have you hired anyone for next season yet?"
Oh, cred, I hadn't even thought about it yet. I'd better get on that if I wanted a shot at the Spira League this year. Obviously I was going to get no help from Wakka, the lout. I was torn between wanting to applaud him for being so devoted to his pregnant wife and wanting to smack him upside the head for totally waltzing out on his team. All he was doing was pacing around the village anyway. "Of course I have," I bluffed. Lying through your teeth is always a good strategy where I come from when the alternative is not saving your ass. "Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to release that information until the beginning of the season." Ooh, big English words. Man, I was getting good these days.
I felt pretty proud of myself for that one, but Shelinda didn't even notice. "And what about your relationship with the Luca Goers' captain, Bickson?"
Said captain was snickering behind his hand on the other side of the lenses. I'd better say something sensitive, I decided, but then I realized I couldn't think of anything. "What insightful comments am I supposed to be offering here? I deal with the fact that he's prettier than I am, he deals with the fact that I can beat him up, we both deal with the fact that neither one of us has enough free time for a relationship anyway. In between the dealing, we have a lot of fun. End of story."
"Fascinating!" I was starting to see the pattern here. Shelinda asks a question, I provide two seconds of commentary, Shelinda shuts me up and asks another question."So, the second anniversary of the beginning of the Eternal Calm was two days ago. How far do you think the status of the Al Bhed has come since then?"
"You mean after the rest of Spira stopped treating us like dirt? It's come a long way. Up until just a little while before the Calm started, I couldn't walk around Luca without my goggles on. Today the same people who spat on me are using machina to get to work."
Shelinda darted a nervous glance at the cameras. "Umm...you mean *machines*, right?"
Been living under a rock? Then I'd better explain this one. Yevon--the religious cult/ political party/angry mob to which everyone in Spira except the Al Bhed had belonged until several people proved that it was complete crap--had these teachings designed to prohibit the use of machina. This was on the theory that it gave people too much power, thus why Bevelle attacked the city of Zanarkand a thousand years ago in the aptly-named Machina War. However, these same godly frauds realized that they wouldn't live without some machina; stuff like water cannons for their blitz spheres, special lights, and so on. They called these 'machines' to ease their consciences. Two years later, both the religion and the tradition of skirting around its tenets were alive in a demonic zombie-kinda form that annoyed me to no end.
"Stop that; they're machina. I still don't know why that's such a big deal. You've all seen how much they can improve your lives, so why are you still freaking out about what a couple of musty teachings from a defunct religion say?"
"Speaking of that 'defunct' religion," Shelinda interrupted, "there's been a lot of conflict lately between New Yevon and the Youth League. Word on the street has it that you're a member of the Youth League. Any truth to that?"
I snorted. "You kidding me? I'm not a member of anything; I'm a blitzer. I don't really want to get involved in politics."
But she wouldn't drop it. "You're not a Youth League member? Then you're a supporter of New Yevon?"
This time I actually laughed out loud. "Well, I'm not a Yevonite."
She turned to the cameras. "You heard it here first, folks! Blitz star Linna has confirmed that she is definitely not allied with New Yevon, which means she's a supporter of the Youth League!"
What just happened here? "Hey, waiddaminute--"
"Well, looks like that's all the time we have for today, folks. See you next time!" Shelinda sang out. The cameras clicked off.
"Yo, Shelinda, I'm pretty sure I didn't actually say--"
"Who cares? It'll make great copy, and it's not really a big deal anyway. Listen, thanks for agreeing to do this for me. I really appreciate it."
"Sure. Welcome." I slunk back to the bridge, where Bickson was leaning over a railing and looking considerably more serious than he had a few minutes ago.
"Great job," he told me half-heartedly, handing me my gear bag.
I cracked my knuckles. "I try."
"Are you going straight to the apartment, or are you headed somewhere else first?"
"Hadn't thought about it yet. Now that I am, I'm thinking I'll go put my stuff up and then hit the gym for a while. I really miss that crazy exercise-bike thing of theirs."
"Cool. Actually, I'll take your stuff if you want. I'm headed up anyway."
Once in a while, even a blitz guy has a sensitive moment. "Yeah? Thanks."
"Sure." Whoa. Too sensitive. Something was going on. "And...green eyes?" he added in the same worried tone that was really freaking me out.
"Yeah?"
"You know where to find me if you get in trouble."
"What kind of trouble would I--" I started, but he was already gone. "Huh," I grunted to myself, and started for the stadium.
****
Two and a half hours later, I'd been in and out of both the gym and the shower and was on my way up via the fire escape stairs to the DorkDorm, as outsiders like me so kindly refer to the Luca Goers' suites in the stadium. I made it about halfway up the first flight of stairs when the guy walking past me hissed, "Bitch."
Normally I'd be the type to grab his arm, drag him to a landing if necessary, and demand an explanation while pummeling his face, but I was tired and feeling generous, so I let it go and kept walking. About six steps later, two teenage girls brushed past me, staring and giggling. By the time I got out of the stairwell, I'd passed three other people, all of whom had looked at me strangely or just glared.
I, for one, was wondering who all the hostile people were and what they were doing on the fire escape stairs. I never found out the answer to the second question, but the first was answered as soon as I set foot on Bickson's floor and a small but decidedly hostile mob pounced on me.
"You're with those Youth League troublemakers?!"
"I can't believe my favorite blitzer is anti-New-Yevon! I used to look up to you!"
"No doubt about it--she's a firebrand, just like that Nooj!"
"She's trying to defile the teachings!"
"The only thing I'm trying to do is get to the damn door, people!" I snapped. "Look, I'm not sure what you're doing here or where you got the impression that I'm with the Youth League, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd all let me get through, got it?"
"Just like a Youth Leaguer, always trying to run from a fight!" someone in the crowd sneered.
"Aww, she looks kinda scared!" someone else was catcalling. "What's the matter, Linna? Not so tough when the cameras are off?"
"Tough, huh?" I sized the guy up. He was bigger than I was, but he was a little paunchy and I'm a pro blitzer with a fuse that's shorter than Rikku's attention span. I could take bigger fry than this one. "Okay, kid, you call me a firebrand? Let me teach you why your mother told you never to play with fire!"
"Linna!" The door flew open and Bickson propped his arm up on the doorjamb, trying to look casual. "I'm not sure what kind of party you're throwing in my hallway, but it's not the best place for a boxing match. Don't beat that poor guy up; that's not even close to a fair fight."
Small Fry and I both turned and scowled at the same time, offering protests in unison detailing exactly why we should be allowed to kick each other's asses right there, right then. Bickson rolled his eyes, calmly informed the members of the mob that if they didn't leave immediately, they would be thrown from the fifth-floor stairwell, and hustled me into his apartment before anyone could protest.
"What the hell was that about?" I demanded irritably, jumping on his bed.
He calmly pulled up a chair and tossed me a pillow to slug. "Haven't seen the news yet, huh?"
I stopped hitting the pillow--it was already getting flat anyway. "No. What gives?"
Silently, he turned the sphere on. I was greeted with the image of myself and Shelinda. "You're not a Youth League member? Then you're a supporter of New Yevon?" she was saying.
"Well, I'm not a Yevonite." My laugh sounded bad even to me, but I wasn't saying anything particularly evil. I didn't get it yet. That was all I'd said about the whole thing, right?
"You heard it here first, folks! Blitz star Linna is definitely not allied with New Yevon, which means she's a supporter of the Youth League!"
"Sure," I was saying.
The terrible beauty of it was that it was actually done *well*. They'd changed camera angles throughout the interview, so it didn't look odd when they switched again for the last line. The one off to my right must have been left rolling after the other ones had stopped. I had to give them credit--I'd never seen film doctored so perfectly.
I threw the pillow into the wall and stared at Bickson. "Hey, they cut that! I thought the cameras had shut off! She said 'thank you' and I said 'sure.' I never told her I was a Youth League supporter! I could sue the fink for slander."
"You could," he agreed, "but that would take months of litigation and paperwork, and you have a pretty big problem to deal with right now. Looks like more people are watching this than we thought. Half the population of Spira's gonna want your blood by nightfall."
"Oh, how encouraging!" I snapped angrily. "Man, that little Spiral conspiracy of yours had nothing on this. I've got the entire institution of Yevon on my ass. Why is this such a big deal to these morons?"
He looked like he wanted to put a hand on my shoulder or something, but he'd been around me long enough to know when to keep his distance. "Look, small comfort here," he said from across the room, "but I think what New Yevon's doing is completely unconscionable too. Supporting the Youth League is the right thing to do. I'm on your side."
"What side?! I didn't even have a side until five seconds ago. Now I'm gonna go enlist as an officer in the Youth League just to piss those Neo-Yevonite punks off!"
"Hey, Linna, I don't think that's a--" But I was already gone.
So how many of you opened the story because you thought the back-of-cover blurb was cool and then wondered what you're doing in Besaid when you're supposed to be in Bikanel? Yeah. I would've been confused too. Just bear with me. I swear it'll all make sense soon.
Oh, and lawyers: please don't sue me. Yay.
Author's Note: The narrator of this story is Al Bhed, and some dialogue and idiomatic phrases have not been translated into English. Translations of all Al Bhed phrases can be found at the end of the chapter in which they appear.
Green Eyes Plays Dress-Up
by flame mage
spherechange 2: Disaster in Bloom
**********
"So tell me again why I'm doing this," I asked Bickson for maybe the fourteenth time since we'd gotten off the Kilika-Luca ferry. It was a gorgeous day as usual in Luca, the kind that's just too damn pretty to waste doing interviews for a pansy-ass reporter with bad fashion sense who works for a sphere network that no one watches anyway because everyone's too busy with their own moronic political factionalism. But I'm ranting again.
He glanced over at me. He'd already heard this thirteen previous times; he was probably getting sick of it. "Goodness of your heart?"
"Not on your life."
"Dinner at Mitza's--on me."
"Sold. Where are we meeting this chick?"
"The square. She said she'd have the whole thing set up."
At least she didn't lie. The entire square was rigged with lights and cameras and mikes. The whole mess was, predictably, focused on the fountain, which was apparently going to be the picturesque backdrop for my big cable debut.
I'd been on the scene maybe 0.03 seconds before a woman in a large green birdlike outfit fluttered up to me. She looked high-strung enough to fit Bickson's description of Shelinda, but the mike she was carrying probably would've clued me in to who she was anyway. Just to make sure I wasn't dealing with some network flunky, though, I asked, "So you'd be Shelinda, am I right?"
"Sure am!" she answered perkily. Whoa. Someone had had her coffee that morning. "And of course you're the famous Linna. Well, are you ready to get started?" I started to say something. I have no idea what, because it didn't matter. She had already launched.
"Hi, everyone! I'm here today in sunny Luca with one of blitzball's biggest names, Linna of the Besaid Aurochs! Since her appearance on the blitz circuit more than two years ago, this Al Bhed hotshot has made herself famous among fans--and infamous among members of the other teams in the major leagues--for her Nap Shot 3." She finally paused for a breath. Oh. Hey. The cameras were rolling.
"So, Linna," she chirped, "blitz season's coming up! What do you think about the changes to the game in the Spira League?"
I winced. Those changes were still a really sore subject with me--and every other blitzer in Spira, as evidenced by Bickson's gag reflex off-camera. The Spira League was the name given to the first tournament of the blitz season, and it is the bane of our existences. This is because it was developed not by blitzers, but by bureaucrats in New Yevon who decided the game needed a twist and that the best way to obtain said twist was to remove all the actual challenges in the gameplay. The Spira League tournament was now based almost entirely on pre-game strategy--that is, who's in what position and what kind of formations the team's going to use. As if that weren't bad enough, game length has been cut in half and most tech shots have been banned, rendering my trademark Nap Shot 3 absolutely useless. I firmly believe that this has had a profound negative impact on Spirans' attention spans. Then again, no one listens to me anyway--or so I thought until about three hours after that interview ended.
"Why are you asking me this? Hey, suits, they suck, don't make us do this," I moaned. "At least we still have the regular season to look forward to after Spira League, or Luca'd have a strike on its hands."
"That's great," she breezed through, cutting me off. "Have you hired anyone for next season yet?"
Oh, cred, I hadn't even thought about it yet. I'd better get on that if I wanted a shot at the Spira League this year. Obviously I was going to get no help from Wakka, the lout. I was torn between wanting to applaud him for being so devoted to his pregnant wife and wanting to smack him upside the head for totally waltzing out on his team. All he was doing was pacing around the village anyway. "Of course I have," I bluffed. Lying through your teeth is always a good strategy where I come from when the alternative is not saving your ass. "Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to release that information until the beginning of the season." Ooh, big English words. Man, I was getting good these days.
I felt pretty proud of myself for that one, but Shelinda didn't even notice. "And what about your relationship with the Luca Goers' captain, Bickson?"
Said captain was snickering behind his hand on the other side of the lenses. I'd better say something sensitive, I decided, but then I realized I couldn't think of anything. "What insightful comments am I supposed to be offering here? I deal with the fact that he's prettier than I am, he deals with the fact that I can beat him up, we both deal with the fact that neither one of us has enough free time for a relationship anyway. In between the dealing, we have a lot of fun. End of story."
"Fascinating!" I was starting to see the pattern here. Shelinda asks a question, I provide two seconds of commentary, Shelinda shuts me up and asks another question."So, the second anniversary of the beginning of the Eternal Calm was two days ago. How far do you think the status of the Al Bhed has come since then?"
"You mean after the rest of Spira stopped treating us like dirt? It's come a long way. Up until just a little while before the Calm started, I couldn't walk around Luca without my goggles on. Today the same people who spat on me are using machina to get to work."
Shelinda darted a nervous glance at the cameras. "Umm...you mean *machines*, right?"
Been living under a rock? Then I'd better explain this one. Yevon--the religious cult/ political party/angry mob to which everyone in Spira except the Al Bhed had belonged until several people proved that it was complete crap--had these teachings designed to prohibit the use of machina. This was on the theory that it gave people too much power, thus why Bevelle attacked the city of Zanarkand a thousand years ago in the aptly-named Machina War. However, these same godly frauds realized that they wouldn't live without some machina; stuff like water cannons for their blitz spheres, special lights, and so on. They called these 'machines' to ease their consciences. Two years later, both the religion and the tradition of skirting around its tenets were alive in a demonic zombie-kinda form that annoyed me to no end.
"Stop that; they're machina. I still don't know why that's such a big deal. You've all seen how much they can improve your lives, so why are you still freaking out about what a couple of musty teachings from a defunct religion say?"
"Speaking of that 'defunct' religion," Shelinda interrupted, "there's been a lot of conflict lately between New Yevon and the Youth League. Word on the street has it that you're a member of the Youth League. Any truth to that?"
I snorted. "You kidding me? I'm not a member of anything; I'm a blitzer. I don't really want to get involved in politics."
But she wouldn't drop it. "You're not a Youth League member? Then you're a supporter of New Yevon?"
This time I actually laughed out loud. "Well, I'm not a Yevonite."
She turned to the cameras. "You heard it here first, folks! Blitz star Linna has confirmed that she is definitely not allied with New Yevon, which means she's a supporter of the Youth League!"
What just happened here? "Hey, waiddaminute--"
"Well, looks like that's all the time we have for today, folks. See you next time!" Shelinda sang out. The cameras clicked off.
"Yo, Shelinda, I'm pretty sure I didn't actually say--"
"Who cares? It'll make great copy, and it's not really a big deal anyway. Listen, thanks for agreeing to do this for me. I really appreciate it."
"Sure. Welcome." I slunk back to the bridge, where Bickson was leaning over a railing and looking considerably more serious than he had a few minutes ago.
"Great job," he told me half-heartedly, handing me my gear bag.
I cracked my knuckles. "I try."
"Are you going straight to the apartment, or are you headed somewhere else first?"
"Hadn't thought about it yet. Now that I am, I'm thinking I'll go put my stuff up and then hit the gym for a while. I really miss that crazy exercise-bike thing of theirs."
"Cool. Actually, I'll take your stuff if you want. I'm headed up anyway."
Once in a while, even a blitz guy has a sensitive moment. "Yeah? Thanks."
"Sure." Whoa. Too sensitive. Something was going on. "And...green eyes?" he added in the same worried tone that was really freaking me out.
"Yeah?"
"You know where to find me if you get in trouble."
"What kind of trouble would I--" I started, but he was already gone. "Huh," I grunted to myself, and started for the stadium.
****
Two and a half hours later, I'd been in and out of both the gym and the shower and was on my way up via the fire escape stairs to the DorkDorm, as outsiders like me so kindly refer to the Luca Goers' suites in the stadium. I made it about halfway up the first flight of stairs when the guy walking past me hissed, "Bitch."
Normally I'd be the type to grab his arm, drag him to a landing if necessary, and demand an explanation while pummeling his face, but I was tired and feeling generous, so I let it go and kept walking. About six steps later, two teenage girls brushed past me, staring and giggling. By the time I got out of the stairwell, I'd passed three other people, all of whom had looked at me strangely or just glared.
I, for one, was wondering who all the hostile people were and what they were doing on the fire escape stairs. I never found out the answer to the second question, but the first was answered as soon as I set foot on Bickson's floor and a small but decidedly hostile mob pounced on me.
"You're with those Youth League troublemakers?!"
"I can't believe my favorite blitzer is anti-New-Yevon! I used to look up to you!"
"No doubt about it--she's a firebrand, just like that Nooj!"
"She's trying to defile the teachings!"
"The only thing I'm trying to do is get to the damn door, people!" I snapped. "Look, I'm not sure what you're doing here or where you got the impression that I'm with the Youth League, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd all let me get through, got it?"
"Just like a Youth Leaguer, always trying to run from a fight!" someone in the crowd sneered.
"Aww, she looks kinda scared!" someone else was catcalling. "What's the matter, Linna? Not so tough when the cameras are off?"
"Tough, huh?" I sized the guy up. He was bigger than I was, but he was a little paunchy and I'm a pro blitzer with a fuse that's shorter than Rikku's attention span. I could take bigger fry than this one. "Okay, kid, you call me a firebrand? Let me teach you why your mother told you never to play with fire!"
"Linna!" The door flew open and Bickson propped his arm up on the doorjamb, trying to look casual. "I'm not sure what kind of party you're throwing in my hallway, but it's not the best place for a boxing match. Don't beat that poor guy up; that's not even close to a fair fight."
Small Fry and I both turned and scowled at the same time, offering protests in unison detailing exactly why we should be allowed to kick each other's asses right there, right then. Bickson rolled his eyes, calmly informed the members of the mob that if they didn't leave immediately, they would be thrown from the fifth-floor stairwell, and hustled me into his apartment before anyone could protest.
"What the hell was that about?" I demanded irritably, jumping on his bed.
He calmly pulled up a chair and tossed me a pillow to slug. "Haven't seen the news yet, huh?"
I stopped hitting the pillow--it was already getting flat anyway. "No. What gives?"
Silently, he turned the sphere on. I was greeted with the image of myself and Shelinda. "You're not a Youth League member? Then you're a supporter of New Yevon?" she was saying.
"Well, I'm not a Yevonite." My laugh sounded bad even to me, but I wasn't saying anything particularly evil. I didn't get it yet. That was all I'd said about the whole thing, right?
"You heard it here first, folks! Blitz star Linna is definitely not allied with New Yevon, which means she's a supporter of the Youth League!"
"Sure," I was saying.
The terrible beauty of it was that it was actually done *well*. They'd changed camera angles throughout the interview, so it didn't look odd when they switched again for the last line. The one off to my right must have been left rolling after the other ones had stopped. I had to give them credit--I'd never seen film doctored so perfectly.
I threw the pillow into the wall and stared at Bickson. "Hey, they cut that! I thought the cameras had shut off! She said 'thank you' and I said 'sure.' I never told her I was a Youth League supporter! I could sue the fink for slander."
"You could," he agreed, "but that would take months of litigation and paperwork, and you have a pretty big problem to deal with right now. Looks like more people are watching this than we thought. Half the population of Spira's gonna want your blood by nightfall."
"Oh, how encouraging!" I snapped angrily. "Man, that little Spiral conspiracy of yours had nothing on this. I've got the entire institution of Yevon on my ass. Why is this such a big deal to these morons?"
He looked like he wanted to put a hand on my shoulder or something, but he'd been around me long enough to know when to keep his distance. "Look, small comfort here," he said from across the room, "but I think what New Yevon's doing is completely unconscionable too. Supporting the Youth League is the right thing to do. I'm on your side."
"What side?! I didn't even have a side until five seconds ago. Now I'm gonna go enlist as an officer in the Youth League just to piss those Neo-Yevonite punks off!"
"Hey, Linna, I don't think that's a--" But I was already gone.