Promise and Dreams

by Kang Xiu

Eponine and Marius, in freeverse, and interacting. Eponine is keeping her promise, and Marius is dreaming his dreams.

Author's Note: ::folds hands primly:: I said I wouldn't write fic any more. This is a poem; ergo, I have not compromised my standards of honesty at all. Thank you.

"Promise and Dreams"

She stumbles in the dark and staggers in the cold

Because you get used to it, dark and cold

Dark and cold

But never quite used enough

And no matter how cold, how dark it has been

You still trip to-day

You still shiver

.....

(He stumbles in the dark and wanders in his room

He touches the walls and pushes himself back

He finds the bed in the dark

And wonders how long it is until the sun rises

And he has dreams, dreams

He dreams of beauty and love)

.....

So she stumbles in the dark as she runs, runs

On bare feet that bleed

But feet always bleed and shoes are imaginary creatures

You don't mind that

You don't mind

You wrap rags 'round your feet in the winter

So as not to leave footprints in the snow

But you're used it, and you can't mind it

When the stones and dirt make them swell

.....

(He stumbles in the dark as he finds his shoes

Must get up now, before the light

Light is pretty, like imagination, but he leaves

Before it comes

And he has dreams, dreams

In the daytime in his room in his place where he

Scratches living from words

He dreams of beauty and love)

.....

And she runs, runs, to find a house with a number

Numbers are bronze birds that fix themselves

To posts and housefronts

Birds that say, with a bronze voice, Here here here!

Here is where She lives!

And she looks away and wonders do you pretend?

You pretend, don't you?

You lie and promise and twist your hands when you

Hide the bird

So that he'll never know, Here here here!

Here is where She lives!

.....

(He runs, runs, half-tripping half-falling

Because one must get where one is going on time

Time is everything

Time is life and food and having a moment for Her

But he has a promise, a promise

A beautiful promise which he dreams of and devotes himself to

Chastely

And the girl who cornered him once

Whom he pitied and regretted for her poverty

(But not too much, because he is poor too, and the world is poor)

She made him a promise

And so he has dreams, dreams

He dreams of beauty and love)

.....

She takes the bronze birds in her head, the bronze birds that are numbers

Numbers

To remember by and she takes her promise

And twists it in her hands like a piece of bronze she's bending

Promises! Why do you make promises,

Anyway?

She stumbles in the street and a man kicks her and she screams anger

That's how it is, yes? That's how it is...

You fall and they kick at you

And you scream back because you can't kick them because

If you kicked them they'd have something to say

About that!

And getting beat twice a week is enough

She takes the bronze birds and twists them in her head

And she twists her promise in anger

What do you do? What do you do?

.....

(He takes the words and tries to translate them

But translations come out meaningless and mean nothing

Not when he turns them a hundred times

He has a promise,

Promise

When will it come? There was a glimmer of light

Through the window where he twists words

But he doesn't understand and he looks away

And prays for speed and dreams

For comprehension and dreams

Somewhere there is an answer, and hidden in the paper

He cannot find it

He dreams dreams, dreams! He cannot find his dreams!

And aching, hurting, condemned, he sighs

Turns his head away

Turns to the window

And he has dreams, dreams

In the quiet of the words which mean nothing

He dreams of beauty and love)

.....

She haunts around in a field with her bronze birds

Playing dress-up with the grass and sky

Putting on a new blue dress of sky

Shoes of broken grass and fixing her hair in the stream

Adorning it with emeralds that are really

Streaks of slime

She haunts around and wonders about promises

How do you keep promises? Why do you keep promises?

If you hate promises, why do you capture birds and keep them in your head

To give to people?

If you hate but She loves and he loves and you love but you hate then

Where does it come out right?

And she steals bread between her hauntings

Buries her face in warm bread and hurts her teeth because they're rotting

Somewhere in the sunshine, she lies on her back and screams

Because you don't cry not now

You don't cry

You make promises the way you fall in the dark

And wrap rags around your feet in the winter

It's like rules

There're rules

And she keeps the birds and she waits until she hates, hates, hates

But she keeps her pockets full of promises

.....

(He haunts around in the buildings of words and aches

And thinks of happiness and promises

He imagines that promises are always kept

And then

In the dark he thinks of larks

And that is when he leaves the buildings of words and windows

He stumbles in the dark as he puts on his shoes

First threadbare stockings and then shoes

And sometime soon he finds his field

Wanders lost and lonely as he's dreaming

That promises are always kept, he imagines

Then as he wanders lost

So he has dreams, dreams

He sees a dirty, strange face watching him and his mind becomes dark and coloured like shadow

And his mind becomes confused and reminded of shadows

But he pushes it away, away

And he dreams of beauty and love)

.....

She stumbles in the dark and recognises something in the world

And her pockets full of promises

And her head full of bronze birds,

She stumbles out and catches him in her arms in her mind

And she cries out hello

Which he does not recognise

You get used to that

They don't recognise you day by day because every day

You get uglier and dirtier and ghostlier in the shadow because

That's how it is

So you can't mind that but you call out

.....

/M o n s i e u r Marius!/

.....

(He stumbles and turns on hearing a sound

He wonders who calls and he dreams

Dreams

And sees a strange face that calls shadows to his mind)

.....

/Me. R e m e m b e r

Me?

E p o n i n e

With a tall E at the beginning and a small e at the end and you

Can call me

P o n i n e

If you want to/

.....

She holds out her hand and thinks of

Promises

Promises in pockets and birds in heads

Bronze birds that call out, Here here here!

.....

/R e m e m b e r me?

I've brought you something and

You'll be very

H a p p y

You will/

.....

(He holds out his hand and knows the strange face

Despite the shadows

Because there is poor light and there are poor people

People

Who have strange faces--but people who give one dreams)

.....

/But I

Kept my

P r o m i s e a n d y o u

Must make me a

P r o m i s e, t o o/

.....

She holds her breath and thinks of

Promises

She made a promise and she wants a promise back because

Promises hurt and if he hurt her

She will hurt him

She hates and hates and hates because she loves

And she feels half-mad but she wants a promise

Back

A promise she deserves

.....

/Will you give me a n y t h i n g?

Then I'll give you a n y t h i n g

I kept my promise

Y o u

Must keep yours

Anything, anything

A n y t h i n g a t a l l ?/

.....

(He holds his breath and waits for her

Anxiously

He cannot dream dreams now

Now there is a promise at stake, a promise

And he imagines that promises are kept, and he waits

Waits for his promise to come

It will

He holds his breath and touches her

Anxiously

She will keep her promise? For he

Cannot dream dreams now)

.....

/A n y t h i n g at all?

Here is my promise

I kept my p r o m i s e

Here here here!

Here is where She lives!/

.....

She gives him the bronze birds

Aching in her head and suddenly, for the first time in years

The cold hurts her feet

It isn't spring yet

Her feet are bleeding and she can't mind but she does

And he holds out his hands for her and she falls into them for-ever and ever in her mind

And in reality

He is weeping over his birds

.....

(He gives her his money and

She throws it on the ground, all he has

Is that life? Could he mind? He has his dreams, dreams

And now they are no longer dreams

He spins through life in his mind, for he is windowless

Love and marriage and children and sweet life together

He has no windows to pull him away with light

Nothing!

He is joy and his dreams of beauty are whole

And nothing in the world matters but joy

And his dreams of beauty are whole

So he follows her

He follows her

And

He is joy)

.....

She leads him by the bronze birds

And by the promises in her pockets

Is that life? Could she mind? She kept her promise, promise

And he made her a promise

And she will remember

She hates and hates and hates but she loves and her feet hurt

But she will remember her promise

She pretends that promises are kept

So she leads him by the bronze birds until they cry out, Here here here!

Here is where She lives!

And now

Now

He is gone and there is the house and the order is backwards

But she doesn't care

She is dirty and small and crippled and angry

And she hates, hates

Her feet hurt and now she minds

And you get used to it

You have to get used to it, dark and cold

Dark and cold

But never quite enough

Her feet hurt and nothing is fair and she knew it and she will know it again

But to-night

All to-night

She stumbles in the dark