Bittersweet Homecoming

I Don't Want to Change

A/N: It's been an incredible time since I last updated. I guess I'm losing my inspiration for The OC. Too long of a withdrawal. If you are suffering like me, I suggest you tune into One Tree Hill on Tuesdays at 9 on the WB. A lot of people aren't big fans, but be patient and watch for awhile, it takes sometime. You'll love it.

Chad Michael Murray and James Lafferty? Is there anymore convincing?

And in tribute to One Tree Hill. . .

Julie started sobbing. "Marissa. . . Oh god."

Marissa looked helplessly around at all the faces surrounding her. A part of her wished she would just die, and yet, she wanted to prove to all of them, who knew her since she was a child, that she was a real person, not a doll that could be dressed up. She had always seen Sandy and Kirsten look at her with sincerity, but hidden was a feeling of not existing. They didn't consider her someone real; she was someone who was superficial, the prom queen. The girl who only cared what designer brand she wore.

"This is all your fault." Julie screamed, pointing at Hailey.

Hailey stood up, not noticing the tub of popcorn, that was previously on her stomach, falling to the floor, contents spilling over the cream colored carpet. "How the hell is this myfault."

Julie was literally turning red. Kirsten was trying to cajole her to calm down, but was starting to completely give up. Caleb looked calmly at the scene, looking at his watch a few times. Sandy stood there, watching with amusement, but straightened up when he saw that Jimmy was completely frozen.

"Oh god, I need a drink." Kirsten muttered.

Julie went up to Hailey's face. Hailey didn't even flinch when Julie's green eyes intently stared with malice. "If you took care of my daughter, she wouldn't be this troubled." She hissed. Then she walked away.

"Come on, Caleb." Julie walked to the doorway where Caleb was on his cell phone.

"If I had a bitch like you for a mother, I'd be troubled too."

Julie stopped cold in the doorway. She turned on her feet.

Hailey just quirked her eyebrow and wore a satisfied smirk.

Julie turned back and left the room with Caleb. Hailey gave the finger to Julie's back. Kirsten sighed exhaustedly; she couldn't stand Hailey's childish behavior in such a stressful time.

Jimmy finally came back into the world. He sat down at the ottoman cradling his head in his arms. Hailey went over and rubbed his back.

Marissa felt so ashamed. So dirty. Daddy's little girl, who ran around in a pink tutu, was unmarried, pregnant, and with a father who didn't care and already had a family.

Sandy and Kirsten silently left the room, leaving a heartbroken father and a remorseful daughter.

"Seth fucking Cohen." Kirsten yelled into the phone.

"Mom?" A confused Seth asked.

Kirsten tried to control her breathing. "Get your ass here." She slammed the phone down on the receiver. Kirsten turned to Sandy and buried her sobbing face into his shirt.

The doorbell quickly rang.

Thankfully, Seth arrived alone.

Sandy grabbed Seth by his shirt collars. "What the hell are you thinking?" He released Seth who crumpled to the ground, not used to be manhandled.

Seth looked around. His father was steaming mad and his mother was hysterically crying. So they might have found out about Marissa.

Just a possibility.

A nervous knock came on Ryan's door.

Ryan opened it, to find a teary-eyed Marissa. Her appearance caught him off guard. This wasn't the Marissa he knew. She was perfect, every hair on her head was perfectly teased, her makeup light and flawless, and her clothes impeccable. But maybe, he never knew Marissa. Seth connected more with Marissa than he ever did. But for reasons unexplained, he was still deeply in love with her. He tried to let go of Marissa. He was pregnant with his brother and his best friend's child. They had sex. But no matter how many times he said to himself that he wouldn't take her back, his knees weakened, just as the sight of her.

"What are you doing here?" Ryan asked.

Marissa bit her lip in an attempt to stifle the tears she felt coming. "Can I come in?"

"Uh. . . Sure." Ryan moved out of the way.

Marissa moved towards the bed and sat down. Wordlessly, Ryan sat next to her. It was so silent, the clock's ticking oddly eerie, echoing.

"It's not your fault you know. Seth is just confused and he doesn't know what to do-." Ryan told Marissa trying to comfort her.

Marissa shook her head. "No, Seth knows what he wants. He wants Summer. I can't do anything about it. I'm such a bad person. I have no morals whatsoever."

Ryan sighed and scratched his head. He was the guy who always had to fix everything. "Hey, look at me."

She turned her head ever so slightly to look at him. Their blue eyes connected, Marissa looked down and blushed from the intensity of his stare. She lifted her eyes again.

"Everything is going to be okay. You can change who you are."

Marissa nodded. She leaned into kiss Ryan. Ryan knew it was so wrong. This girl was pregnant with her brother's kid, it was all a tangled web, this family. But he loved her

"I don't want to change." Marissa whispered as she smiled.

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do

Or who I'm supposed to be

I don't want to be anything other than me