Author note: Hey to anyone who is reading. I didn't put up any notes in my first installment so I thought I should now. This is going to be a 7 chapter long story, its all laid out already. So, don't worry, it will be finished some day, even if big gaps between chapters might occur. It's not all going to be from Sirius point of view so look ahead for changes and enjoy
Thank you to all those that reviewed! either here or on Livejournal J
Remus, Sirius, and James were one again sitting in the library after O.W.L.S. level transfiguration. Peter wasn't with them as he didn't get a high enough grade on his exam to take the class. They weren't really studying but the snow outside the castle prevented them from lounging there and the common room was overrun by 1st years this time of day. James was playing with the snitch he'd stolen last year. He'd never returned it and Sirius knew he didn't plan to.
"I can't wait to get back to Quidditch practice." James said lazily, catching the snitch for the hundredth time in only half an hour.
"So we can see." Remus muttered with exasperation.
James didn't seem to hear him. "I haven't been on my broom in ages, I-"
James cut himself off and the other two turned to look at him. They followed his eyes to the library door through which Lily Evans had just walked.
"Oh, boy." Remus said.
Sirius nodded in agreement. He hoped James wasn't going to make a fool of himself again. James let go of the snitch and was about to catch it again as he rose to stand but Sirius grabbed it out of the air before him.
"Prongs," Sirius said. "Go over without it, eh?"
James grinned and nodded. The two watched as James rustled his hair, strode purposefully over to Lily's table and sat down beside her.
"Let's hope she doesn't hex him." Remus remarked.
"Or slug him for that matter." Sirius added.
Remus sighed, "I wish she'd just go out with him so he can stop these bloody antics."
Sirius laughed. "Though you have to admit, he's dedicated to the cause."
"The cause of pursue the red-haired viper?"
Sirius snorted in reply, "Exactly."
"Ha." Remus said sarcastically.
Remus looked over at James and Lily then turned back to his transfiguration notes. Of the three of them Remus was really the only one that used the library for study. Sirius glanced over at James. It didn't seem that Lily had harmed him in any way; he may even have been getting on well. Sirius turned away from James and with a coy grin stuffed the struggling snitch into Remus' bag.
"Merry early Christmas, Moony."
Remus looked down at his bag then back up at Sirius, "Just what I always wanted."
"I try."
With a grin Remus turned back to his class notes, scanning down the page.
Though Remus had turned away Sirius did not remove his eyes from the boy beside him. Looking at Remus thus unguarded Sirius took the liberty of actually examining him. Remus was smaller than both James and himself, a few centimeters shorter and not as built, this probably coming from the strain of his monthly transformation. Despite his smaller frame Sirius knew that Remus was quick and could even out run James when the situation called for it. Looking at him now Sirius assumed this surprising ability stemmed from his werewolf alter ego. Remus sat slightly hunched over, like all teens unwilling to make the extra effort to sit up straight. However, to Sirius it seemed that Remus' hunch was not so much from laziness but from wear and strain. Thinking thus Sirius had the sudden urge to reach out and touch Remus' slopping shoulders. However, propriety seized Sirius and he wondered why he should think such an impulse to do that. Moving his gaze upwards Sirius looked up Remus' mop of hair. It was a light brown, almost sand like except one fleck of gray on the side of Remus' head right beside the edge of his face. The gray had appeared in the past year and the others had occasionally teased him about it. Sirius felt the entirety of it suited Remus very well, even the gray.
As he stared Sirius saw the spot of gray hair move as Remus' face turned into view towards him. His face fully revealed now, Sirius saw the light scars of a claw slash on his left cheek. Sirius knew there were other scars of a similar nature on Remus' body but he would rarely allow anyone to see them. However, despite the scars, Remus' face was clear and fresh with youth. His nose bore a slight snout-like appearance which Sirius had always found rather humorous. Remus also had thin diamond, not quite heart-like, shaped lips. Thin lips though they were Sirius considered them a good deal fuller than the board of a straight line that Lily Evan's lips were. Pulling his sight upward Sirius looked into Remus' dark brown eyes, small lines at the corners. His bright eyes, accentuated with creases of depth inside them, were now staring back into Sirius'.
"What?"
Sirius blinked. "What?"
"What are you staring at?" Remus asked.
The realization then came to him that he had been staring at Remus' face for a good minute now without speaking. Sirius mentally smacked himself for acting so strangely. Even if an attractive one, who just stares, analyzing his friend's face?
"I-er," Sirius stuttered, fumbling for an answer. "Well, I was… er… no, nothing, nothing." He tried to casually wave the issue away.
"But you've been staring at me for five minutes now." Remus said, confused.
"Have I?" Sirius shrugged, trying to act disinterested.
"Yeah… you-"
Remus was cut off by James suddenly landing across the table from them. At first he just stood beaming.
"Well?" Sirius finally asked.
"She said she'd go out with me, next Hogsmede visit!" James was practically jumping with excitement.
"Really?" Sirius said.
"Well, with her and some of her friends, but its… well it's a start." James still grinned.
The other two smiled simultaneously.
"That's smashing James." Sirius said.
"Absolutely fabulous." Remus added.
"Perfect event."
"Quite a joy."
"For us…"
"So relieving!"
"Ok, ok!" James stopped them. "But I got something."
The other two nodded.
"I knew she would give in." James said turning back into cool Quidditch seeker Potter.
Remus stifled his laughter and Sirius snorted.
"Prongs, you're hopeless."
-------------------------------------------
"Try a displacement charm."
"Can I stop pacing yet?" Peter groaned.
"Would that work?" James asked hunched over the fifth draft of the map they were making of Hogwarts.
The four boys were spread about the common room now that it was empty; all the other Gryffindors were away at dinner.
"I don't know, but try it." Remus answered leafing through a charms book in front of the fire. "Either that or…" He kept flipping. "An attachment charm."
Sirius glanced over at Remus from the round table where he sat next to James.
"Those two have totally opposite effects, Moony."
"I know that! But we need to keep tabs on each person and they still need mobility with that." Remus said, holding up the book. "Don't want a dot to turn into professor Binns when it's really Professor Morphen."
"Point." Sirius said.
"Can we do the ghosts too?" Peter asked, stopping his walk.
"Anything that moves, wormtail." James said.
"So you'd like." Remus muttered.
"Yeah, I would and I'll get it." James said disgruntled.
Remus threw his charms book across the room to land at James' chair.
"Then try putting the two charms together." He said lying down on the couch.
Sirius chanced a look over toward the fire but all he could see over the edge of the furniture was a small tuft of hair. Seeing no movement from the hair Sirius turned back to the map.
"Well?"
James' wand was pointed at the page as he muttered towards it.
"Well!"
"Peter, start walking again." James said.
"Aw, but we're only gonna do teachers anyhow!" Peter moaned.
"But who else am I going to practice with, walk!" James barked.
Peter groaned and started walking around the room again, circling around the entire perimeter. Sirius turned to watch Peter then returned his gaze to James.
"So? Any change?"
"Er…" James stared at the parchment. "Sort of… its jerky. I think its only half working."
"What charm did you use?"
"The one's Moony said!"
"Well, try another!"
"Like what?"
Sirius sighed and put his cheek on the table, "I don't know, I'm too tired to think."
"You could sleep." James said looking at him. "Even if it is only 6:00."
"And leave you alone with lazy Moony and pacing Wormtail?"
"I heard that." Came a tired reply from the other side of the couch.
James laughed, flipping pages in the charm book with his wand. Sirius looked around the room from where his face lay on the table. Peter was still slowly plodding along, brushing the curtains as he passed the window toward the fire place. Sirius closed his eyes to the sound of James' muttering.
"You alright, Moony?" Could be faintly heard to Sirius' ears and he opened his eyes.
"I'm fine." Remus replied.
"You su-"
"I'm fine!" Remus said ending the conversation.
Though Peter shrugged and started walking around again Sirius kept looking at the back of the couch, concern wrought through him. Why would Peter think he wasn't ok?
"I think I've- oh no, I haven't." James cried beside him.
"Ok, that's enough!" Peter landed in the chair beside James'. "I can't take any more walking."
"Well, your dot stopped lazy boy." James said with a smile.
"Great job, Prongs, but was it ever moving to start with?" Sirius asked sitting up and erasing his worry.
"Yes… a little."
Peter and Sirius both laughed in response. Just then the portrait hole opened to reveal students returning from dinner. James casually folded up the parchment and put it into his pocket. Sirius closed the charms book and tossed it to Peter.
"Bollocks!" James yelled suddenly.
Peter and Sirius stared at him and Remus looked over from the edge of the couch.
"Wormtail, we gotta go." James jumped up towards the portrait hole.
"What? Why?"
"Detention, remember?"
Remus and Sirius laughed. James and Peter had gotten detention after James have turned Miranda Moonstruck's bag into a rattle snake and Professor McGonagall had blamed them both.
"Better get going or she'll give you another." Remus said, lying back down.
"Yeah, shut up. Come on, Pettigrew."
James and Peter practically flew out the portrait hole leaving Sirius, Remus, and two second year girls alone in the common room.
Sirius stood up from the table he was sitting at and moved to lounge in one of the chairs by the couch. Lying on his side on the couch, arms curled up by his face Remus looked over at Sirius.
"Did James get it to work?"
"Not quite." Sirius replied.
"Well, at least we have the whole layout of the castle down." Remus said with a weary smile.
"Did we get all the tunnels?"
"I said 'whole layout,' didn't I?" Said Remus, closing his eyes.
"Remus?" Sirius said, trying to assay his tingle of doubt.
Remus opened his eyes.
"Are you sure you're ok?"
Remus shook his head, "The full moon is next week." He spoke softly. "I just get a bit drained before it."
Sirius nodded, understanding. Pondering for a moment Sirius opened his mouth again.
"You know what? I don't care if you are 'drained,' Moony."
Remus blinked.
"Come on."
Sirius grabbed Remus' hand, dragging him off the couch and up the stairs to their room.
"What are we doing?" Remus asked as he was pulled along.
Sirius didn't answer, only flung open the door of their room, pulled James' invisibility cloak out of his trunk, and then whirled them both around to fly back down the stairs.
"Sirius!" Remus pled as he pulled them towards the portrait hole.
"Come on Moony," Sirius whined. "We haven't been out to illegally roam the corridors in…" He pondered. "At least a day!"
Before Remus could reply Sirius yanked them through the hole and draped the cloak over them both. Sirius couldn't help but feel elated as they crept through the corridor. It was still early so a few straggling students were around, hurrying to their common rooms. Sirius could feel Remus pressed up close behind him so they could both fit under the cloak. At that very moment Sirius felt as if there wasn't any way he could be happier.
After waiting far too long for Peeves to remove himself from their way the two Marauders crept silently through the atrium doors and out onto the snow smothered courtyard. Once they were outside Sirius threw the cloak off of them in a flourish. Snow was one of Sirius' favorite things and that night was a perfect time to be outside to enjoy it. Looking up at the sky Sirius twirled around once then grinned at Remus. The other stared back at him with arms folded.
"Come on, Moony!" Sirius said. "You have to admit it is at least a tad bit enjoyable out here."
Remus shrugged, looking like he was trying to suppress a smile. "Maybe."
Sirius felt like his heart was smiling as much as his face with a victory over Remus' formerly sedate emotions. He felt now that his previous thought of not being able to feel any happier was conquered by that moment as Remus looked over at him, surrounded by swirls of snow, struggling not to smile as much as himself. Bending down and scooping up a handful of snow Sirius held it up and shouted towards Remus.
"Miser Moony, I challenge you to a duel!"
Remus started at him disinterestedly for a second then scooped up his own bunch of snow.
"I accept, Miser Padfoot!"
With that the duel began and both boys threw their snowballs at each other with all their might, Remus scoring a direct hit on Sirius' face and he missing entirely. They continued on, starting quite far apart with huge boughts of hurling only to have the fight transform into one of point blank range. Indeed they ended up abandoning any sense of actually throwing snowballs to simply smashing snow into each other's faces or shoving it down clothes.
"You're not going to win!" Sirius said walloping Remus in the face with a fresh handful of snow.
Remus shoved him back, shaking the snow from his hair.
"Just because you're bigger doesn't mean you're better!"
"We'll see about that!" Remarked Sirius and he rammed into Remus, knocking him to the ground.
Remus yelped in surprise as he fell back, Sirius atop him. The two rolled over and over trying to pin the other or cover him in snow. They finally stilled ending side by side, backs to the ground, in a jumble of arms and legs flung about.
"You're an idiot." Remus muttered, the two of them staring up at the falling snow.
"I know." Sirius smiled looking over at Remus.
Trapping Remus' arm beneath him and causing one leg to drape over the other boy's Sirius rolled over to better look down at Remus.
"So?" He asked.
Remus, looking up, turned his head to Sirius. "Yes?"
"I won."
Remus laughed lightly. "Yes, you did, having me pinned and all."
Sirius nodded vigorously. It felt like such a great accomplishment to be doing just that. He whacked Remus in the face to emphasize his victory to which Remus hit him back. Sirius laughed and sat up, freeing Remus' arm and leaned on his elbow. Remus rolled onto his side, head held up by his own arm, entangling their legs more. For the third time that night, looking down into Remus' face surrounded by snow speckled hair, Sirius felt that he could not be any happier.
"So," Remus began, breaking Sirius' thoughts. "What do I owe you since I've lost the duel?"
'A kiss?' Sirius thought and surprised himself in the very same instant he thought it. Why should have thought that? Looking down into Remus' dark brown eyes, perfect lips, and slightly flushed cheeks it came to Sirius like a bludger to the head.
"Oh my God." Sirius said in breathless surprise and fear.
"What?" Remus asked, confused.
Sirius did not answer him, only shook his head. It explained it all. It explained everything. It explained the smiles, all the feelings, all the moments of unanswerable happiness or despair, it explained just now. Sirius was in love with Remus and there was nothing he could do to change it.
Beside him Remus sat up, untangling their legs.
"What, Sirius, are you ok?"
Sirius nodded and stood up, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."
Remus stood up looking less than convinced. "You sure?"
Sirius nodded turning to look back at the doors they had come through. He was surprised to see them cracked open and what looked like a figure standing there watching them. Sirius tried to look closer but the doors had closed and the figure was gone.
"Alright," Remus interrupted again. "But you still haven't decided on my sentence." He grinned in amusement.
Sirius smiled, keeping his voice steady. "I'd make you my slave but you're end up being too annoying, so I'll have to think on it."
Really all that Sirius could think of then was what felt like his own sentence.
-----------------------------------------
When they finally went back indoors both boys bore bright red cheeks, wet clothes, and cold bodies. But of course along with the wet and cold came happy hearts of time well spent.
They didn't even hear the spell or see the caster before they were thrown backwards to the ground, wands flying away into the air. Sirius made a futile grasp for his but to no avail. Both looked over to see where their wands had gone only to see them in the hand of Severus Snape.
"Well, well, well look what we have here." Remus slowly moved the invisibility cloak completely underneath him as Snape spoke. "Two idiot Gryffindors out when they shouldn't be."
Snape seemed only too delighted with himself and Sirius wondered if he had been the figure at the door before. His fists clenched at the very thought of Snape watching the two of them alone.
"Snivellus." Sirius growled.
Snape's eyes darkened and he pointed his wand more directly at Sirius' chest.
"I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you, unless you'd like me to practice some of my more complicated hexes on you."
Sirius was about to respond but Remus whacked him on the arm and shook his head. Snape laughed at them on the floor.
"At least one of you has some semblance of a brain." Snape looked at Remus when he spoke and Sirius thought he spoke with less distain than usual but it was probably his imagination.
In fact this comment coming from Snape was almost a compliment. Remus was staring right back at Snape now, Gryffindor bravery kicking in and refusing to let Snape get the best of him. Sirius grinned in satisfaction and stared heatedly at Snape himself.
"Get up." Snape finally said coldly with a quick jerk of his wand to indicate he was serious.
The two Gryffindors got back to their feet, clearing their heads after the sudden fall. Sirius barely noticed that Remus had stuffed the invisibility cloak into the pocket inside his robes quick as a flash.
"Let's go see Professor Morphen." Snape said, pointing them to walk down the hall.
"What? Don't have the guts to go to McGonagall?" Sirius said as they turned to walk.
Sparks flew out of the end of Snape's wand, catching Sirius in the back. Sirius winced and glared at Snape before turning to walk.
"What's the point of this, Snape?" Remus asked as they walked ahead of him. "You're not supposed to be out after hours either."
Snape didn't answer.
"Just what were you doing out here?" Remus continued.
"Quiet, Lupin."
Sirius continued on Remus' thought line. "Yeah, Snape, what were you doing, following us?"
"I said quiet, Black, don't strain your already minuscule brain. Its not accustomed to being really used."
Sirius rolled his eyes and sneered, restraining himself from commenting on his excellent marks which obviously used his brain. Looking sidelong at Remus he saw eyes looking back at him expectantly.
He saw Remus mouth: 'I'll distract, grab his wand.'
Sirius nodded ever so slightly.
Remus turned his head to look back, "Oy, Snape."
The moment the words left Moony's lips Sirius whirled around to grasp Snape's wand. However, Sirius hadn't realized how close Snape was walking behind them and instead of grabbing his wand Sirius hit him in the chest causing the other to drop all three wands. Each boy dived for his wand at once. Sirius was an inch away but one second too late as he felt a wand pressed to his throat from above where he was crouched at the floor.
"Nice try, Black." Snape growled.
"Drop it."
Sirius turned his eyes to see Remus standing tall above them both, wand pointed straight at Snape. Neither of them moved a muscle.
"I said, drop it." Remus repeated with a power Sirius rarely heard from him.
Sirius smiled feeling slightly like a damsel in distress and strangely that thought only bothered him a little since Remus seemed to be playing the prince.
"How about I hex him instead, Lupin?" Snape was saying above him.
"Severus."
Both boys started in surprise at the use of Snape's first name and Sirius noticed the softer tone in Remus' voice as he spoke.
"Drop your wand."
Then to Sirius' surprise Snape did just that, straightening up. Sirius picked up both wands, stood up, and rubbed his neck. Looking back and forth between the two Sirius saw their shared unblinking stare, Remus' wand leveled between them.
"What now, Lupin?" Snape said, finally breaking the silence.
"Turn around and face the other way." He said.
Snape obeyed ever so slowly. Once his back was turned Remus pulled the invisibility cloak out of his robe, draping it over them both. Sirius could only grin happily at the other's ingenuity. Remus made a motion at Sirius to drop Snape's wand after he spoke. Sirius suppressed a laugh and nodded.
"Now, go back to your own house." Remus said, backing the two of them under the invisibility cloak toward the wall.
Sirius tossed Snape's wand out from under the cloak to land at the Slytherin's feet. The moment it hit the floor Snape had it back in his hand and was whirled around to face them. The Gryffindors leaning against the wall did everything in their power not to fall over laughing at the look of shock on Snape's face at seeing no one there. Underneath the cloak in close proximity the two smiled at each other. In that moment Sirius decided that maybe it didn't matter that he couldn't do a thing to change his heart.