Reactions and Emotions

Author's Note: I always wondered how Remus and Sirius reacted after Harry had left Grimmauld Place's fire. They sounded angry in front of Harry, well how angry were they once he was gone..? And how would they react about the mention of James now that Harry was out of the fire..? And how is Sirius dealing with the fact that he doesn't know Harry as well as he thinks. So I wrote a short fic on it because it wouldn't leave me alone..! Lol. This is from Sirius' point of view.

Disclaimer: Yea, yea. I own nothing Harry Potter related. If I did, I'd be rich, we know the drill by now I would think.

"I'd better go..!" Harry said hastily and he pulled his head backward out of Grimmauld Place's fire.

Sirius watched Harry disappear then turned to Remus, "I can't believe that Snape stopped giving him lessons..! And over something as stupid as—"

"Calm down, Sirius," Remus said calmly, "Snape was clearly upset. Wouldn't you have—"

"Whatever his reason . . . it's not ever going to be a good enough reason to put Harry's life in danger..!" Sirius roared standing, "I'm going down there right now and—"

"You'll do nothing of the sort..!" Remus shouted at Sirius grabbing him by the shoulder, "If anyone's going, I am..! Calm down..! I will go down and have a word with him Sirius. Please sit down," he said gently.

Full of frustration, Sirius sat down on the couch with his arms folded. He was angry with Remus for stopping him. He was angry that Snape was putting his godson's life in danger by not giving him Occlumency lessons. And he was angry with Harry for doing such a dangerous stunt.

"And what did Harry think he was doing..?!" Sirius shouted as Remus sat down next to him, "Risking getting expelled by sneaking into Umbridge's office..!"

"He needed to talk to you Sirius," Remus smiled, "And well, it's clearly something you or James would have done in our school days. When did expulsion stop you or James..?"

Sirius felt his lip curl, "Well, it didn't."

Remus put a hand on Sirius' shoulder, "Exactly, he just wanted to talk. And you know he couldn't have owled us or talked in the Gryffindor fireplace," Remus told Sirius, "Not with that hag watching the fires and owls."

Sirius knew that 'that hag' was referred to Umbridge. He smiled a bit at the comment.

"I suppose," Sirius said cooling off.

"Though I do admit I hadn't expected him to do something quite that dangerous either," Remus admitted to Sirius, "But he's safe and everything's alright."

Sirius nodded. That was true. Harry was safe, at least he hoped. Whoever was on Harry's end of the fire, he hoped hadn't caught him. But Harry seemed to have had this whole conversation planned out, and knowing Harry, he was sure he had the Invisibility Cloak near by. He was more like James than Sirius was expecting. Which was saying something because earlier in the year he had thought Harry was less like James then he had expected.

"Are you alright..?" Lupin asked Sirius.

Sirius hadn't heard him. He was thinking. But he couldn't place his finger on what he was thinking about. No wait. He was thinking about Harry. His Harry. His skinny, Quidditch playing, green eyed, messy black-haired, godson who was confusing him more and more as they grew closer.

"Sirius..?"

Harry had not wanted Sirius to visit him during their first trip to Hogsmeade, but yet, Harry who had obviously caused some sort of distraction on his end, had snuck into a high Ministry figure's office to talk to him. He wouldn't risk Sirius getting caught, but Harry didn't care if he got caught using Dolores Umbridge's fireplace to talk to a convicted murder..?

"Sirius..?" Remus repeated.

"Oh, wha..?" Sirius said breaking his train of thought, "Hmmm..?"

"Did you hear me..?" Remus asked.

"Yes," Sirius said slowly, "Well I hear you now anyway."

Remus rolled his eyes and smiled, "I asked you if you were okay," said Remus, a faint crease between his eyebrows, "You are, aren't you..?"

"I'm—" Sirius paused. The truth was he really wasn't okay. He was thinking deeply. Harry asking about James as if he didn't know him. It was true that he didn't but . . . the way he asked. It was painful. The fact that he had to find out what his father was like in Snape's memory made Sirius feel like a lead ball had been dropped in his stomach. The way Harry had asked about his father was in a painful tone, one of disbelief, hurt and sorrow. He knew by the look on Harry's face that he was still upset by what he saw. Sirius really wished that Harry hadn't seen his father like that.

"—fine," Sirius finally told Remus, "Just tired."

"Now I'm finding that hard to believe," Remus said kindly, "A few minutes ago you were angry and now all of a sudden your tired..?" Remus smirked, "Losing your touch Padfoot old friend."

"Suppose I might be," Sirius laughed, then his face harden, "I'm just . . . thinking . . ." he told Remus.

"About..?"

Sirius wasn't sure how he could explain what he was feeling to Remus. It was a bit stupid in a way.

"Sirius, you can tell me, you know," Remus smiled, "What am I going to do..? Laugh at you..?"

"You might," Sirius said darkly.

"Sirius," Remus said, "Be serious . . ."

"Never tier of that old joke do ya Moony..?" Sirius asked.

Remus shook his head and rolled his eyes, "No, but, what is bothering you..?"

"Harry and James," Sirius looked sideways at Remus then back at the fire, where Harry had been, "Just . . . just thinking about Harry and James."

Remus looked concerned and watch Sirius.

"Just about how he saw James," Sirius explained sadly, "I'm sure he was upset by it. Harry— Harry . . . he . . . Harry shouldn't have had to see his father that way . . . he— he doesn't even know James and— and I hate to have him think his father was a horrible person..!"

Remus patted Sirius on the shoulder, "Sirius, Harry doesn't think James is a horrible person."

"Did you see the way he looked at us Remus..?!" Sirius shouted and stood up, "I'm sure he doesn't believe anything we told him about—"

"Sirius calm down," Remus said sincerely, "I'm sure he doesn't think anything bad of James. I'm sure he's still hurt and confused about what he saw. I'm sure he still thinks James a bit of an idiot. But—"

"I don't want Harry walking around thinking that his father was a horrible person..!" Sirius shouted, "Because James wasn't a—"

"I know he wasn't Sirius," Remus told him, "And I think Harry's smart enough to know that as well."

Sirius sat back down grumpily and placed his face in his hand and frowned. Was Harry smart enough to know his father was a good person no matter how stupid he had acted as a teenager..? Was Harry smart enough to listen to what Remus and himself had told him about James and how he eventually 'deflated' as they liked to say..? Was Harry smart enough to still think, no matter what he had seen, of his father still as the good, kind-hearted person he had always pictured..? Sirius wasn't sure . . . and if Harry was anything like James, he was going to dwell on it longer then needed. After all, he seemed more like James.

Remus smiled weakly, "Something else is troubling you too Padfoot," he said softly, "Care to talk about it..?"

"Might as well," Sirius said grumpily. He knew even if he had said 'no' Remus would have gotten it out of him anyway, "You'll get it out of me anyway . . ."

Remus sat, fixed on Sirius, waiting for his answer.

Sirius sighed, "Well, I was . . . I supposed, a bit surprised that Harry used Umbridge's fire today. I didn't think he risk it."

"You mean you didn't think the risk would have been fun for Harry as it would for James..?" Remus asked with a strange smile.

Sirius slowly lifted up his head and looked at Remus lost for shock. How did he know he had something similar like that to Harry..?

"How did you—?"

Remus chuckled, "I was only guessing that something like that was troubling you. After the beginning of the school year when Molly said to you that you think Harry is James, I started to think about that as well. And I know you have. Sometimes I do think you get the idea that you have out old friend back."

"I know who Harry is just fine, thanks," Sirius snapped coldly at Remus, "I'm perfectly clear that Harry isn't—"

"You know who Harry is," Remus told him, "But I think Sirius, that the fact that we've lost our best friend, and that his son is so much like him, is confusing you. I'll admit Harry is like James, but that doesn't mean his choices are James' choices."

"Are you trying to tell me who James and Harry are..?" Sirius replied coldly once more, "Because I know who James is. And I know who Harry—"

Remus cut him off sharply, "You know who James is. We grew up with him," Remus replied softly, his eyes looking right at Sirius. Sirius wished he wouldn't give him that look. He had always hated it, "But Sirius, we don't know who Harry is. We don't know him the way we knew James. You shouldn't go comparing the two, no matter how similar they are. Because no matter how much Harry looks like James, he isn't James and you shouldn't expect that if him."

"I don't expect him to be like James..!" Sirius barked out.

Sirius was full of anger. How dare Remus talk to him that way. He acted as if he had just met Harry. He knew who Harry was..! He was James and Lily's son..! He was Harry James Potter and he— Sirius caught himself. No, those were facts. He knew facts about Harry. He didn't know Harry as well as he would have liked. He knew facts . . . he knew a bit of Harry's personality but not as much as James. If Sirius was asked something about Harry, could he answer it as well as he could of if the question was about James..?

Sirius turned to look at Remus, "Remus I'm sor—"

"I don't want to hear that you're sorry," Remus replied, "I just want you to know the difference between Harry and James. I know you miss James . . . I miss him too."

Sirius looked up at Lupin. He looked like he was choking on words.

"But Sirius, Harry isn't James, and he won't ever be," Remus said. Sirius knew this was hard for Remus to say. He didn't dare say anything rude. Remus continued, "As I've said before, he won't ever be, but it still doesn't hurt to treat Harry with the same respect we gave James."

Sirius stared at Remus, "I treat Harry with—"

Remus raised a hand, "You know what I mean Sirius."

Sirius lowered his head. He did know what Remus meant. He knew he meant he should stop treating Harry as if he had his old friend back. But— No . . . Sirius told himself, Remus is right. No matter how much Harry looks like James, acts like James . . . he's not James. Remus was right . . . I shouldn't have compared Harry to James.

"Alright," Sirius mumbled to Remus, "I guess I—"

"It's alright," Remus waved it aside, "But perhaps you should tell this to Harry."

"Tell him what..?" Sirius snorted, "That I think he's James..?"

"No," Remus said, "Tell him that you're sorry," Remus told him, "Sorry for perhaps even doubting whom he was..? By comparing him to James."

Sirius nodded. He was too upset to talk or speak. He knew Remus silence meant he understood Sirius' answer.

"Well," Remus said getting up with a tired expression, "I think I'll write to Snape about Harry's lessons. We don't want Harry seeing Voldemort in his dreams."

"No," Sirius said grumpily at the mention of Snape, "Tell old Snivelly I said hi," Sirius grumbled out and punched his hand, "And if he doesn't give Harry lessons . . . I'll personally come up there and smear his greasy face all over the—"

Remus chuckled, "Calm down Sirius," he laughed, "I can see your back in spirit. Don't worry, I'll talk to Snape."

"You'd better," Sirius laughed with Remus and grinned at him, "I don't fancy doing dirty work, especially when it comes to Snape."

Remus rolled his eyes, "Sirius . . ."

Remus smiled as he walked out of the room. Sirius leaned back on the couch and slipped his hand in his pocket. His pulled out a small mirror. His communication mirror he had shared with James. He fiddled with it for a bit and the looked back at his reflection. He supposed he should talk to Harry a little bit more. Make sure he was okay still, and see perhaps if he wanted to talk about James a bit more. Harry had looked extremely upset about the whole thing.

Sirius cleared his throat and spoke into the mirror, "Ja— Harry Potter," he said a bit uneasily. He had almost said James.

Waiting for Harry to answer Sirius raised an eyebrow when he got none.

"Come to think of it," Sirius said out loud rubbing his chin, "I wonder why Harry didn't use the mirrors to talk to me. Has he missed placed his..?" Sirius questioned out loud.

He waited a few more moments.

"Harry Potter," Sirius said again clearly.

And again after a few moments, there was no answer. Sirius frowned at the lack of Harry's answer and put the mirror back in his pocket. Perhaps he was less like James the he thought.

Author's Note: So what'd ya think..? I had always wondered about how Sirius felt about Harry's similar-ness to James. Well I hoped you enjoyed. Please review.