A/N: Yes, yes, my precious, we're back, yes we are, and not in black, although Danae wants to be in black, but you already read that part so I... I don't even know what I'm writing here! Umm... I think I'm schizophrenic. Seriously. Or not... meh, does it matter? Of course not. Every parody writer MUST have the Gollum factor... evil sniggering

I'm just trying to use up space. That's all. You can skip the Author's note. But then again, if you're reading this, you're reading the author's note, so you can't skip it, and... I'll stop. I'm hungry. That's my problem. Must be. Stopping...... Apologies if this chapter stinketh. It WILL get better soon, I promise.

I'm putting out the offer for a free Apoc plushie for all who review! I'll throw in a bowl of single-celled protein to boot!!! :D

Note to IAMS.O.B.S: guess who's in this chapter? ;-)

Kaileikehe: Well, remember me when you someday rule the world and make my fan-fictions to be world-wide read best-sellers, thank you very much!!!!! :D

Kat-23: Whoo! Be nice to the Poor One! :-)

Yaay! Chapter 12!

Chapter 12 The Mary-Sue Factor

There is a long, drawn-out pause. Danae has her eyes closed, it looks as if she's trying to bore a hole in the floor with her mind...

Ze Merovingian sighs. 'Are you done yet? I don't sink it will work'

'Quiet!' hisses the mysterious person. 'You'll ruin her concentration!'

'I GIVE UP!' wails Danae. 'I'm trying to get rid of all of you, but it's not working!'

Faint laughter from above

Persephone sighs also. 'Adyone, take her to her room.'

The mysterious figure glares at Persephone. 'You're not supposed to say my name in front of anyone.'

'Do. As. I. Say!'

'...all right... come on, Danae. You're going where we all end up'

Danae frowns, but follows.

They pass through the main 'hall', and Danae studies the floor, puzzled.

'What's with the 'M'? Is it for 'Moron'?'

'Very funny.'

'Mary-Sue???'

'Try harder.'

'The Matrix?'

'Oh, come on!'

'Not until you tell me what 'M' is for!'

'What do you think?! We're in the MEROVINGIAN'S HOUSE!!! DUH!'

'It's for 'Merovingian'? Hmm. Nice decorating idea. Need to try it. Monogrammed floors, the next rage!!'

They climb up some long flights of stairs, and stop in front of a large, imposing door.

'This is it. Where we all end up. Please, come in.'

Adyone opens the door, to reveal a large, finely decorated room, filled with...

You guessed it...

Teenage Mary-Sues.

'hello!' 'hello!' 'hello!' They chime at our Heroine.

'Is it just me, or is this somewhat like the Castle Anthrax?'

'Castle What?'

'You mean you've never seen Monty Python?'

'Monty who?'

'Sheesh. No wonder you're such a dork.'

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome. Hey, I haven't been able to do that in a long time!!'

'Do what?'

'The 'You're Welcome' routine!'

'Not going to ask. Anyway, I suppose you are wondering what all of us are doing here, and who all these girls are?'

'...sure...'

'Then let me tell you. We are the heroines of every Mary-Sue fic that has been abandoned. We are brought here, to stay in this room, brush our perfect hair, gaze out the windows with our perfect green eyes, exfoliate our perfect smooth fair skin-'

'Okay, I get the picture! You're perfect!'

'Thank you for noticing!'

'You're welcome. '

Danae sits down on one of the many frilly beds. A random Mary-Sue sits down next to her.

'May I ask you a question?' The Mary-Sue asks.

'You just did. Yeah, sure.'

'What kind are you?'

'-What?'

'What kind are you? Neo, Twins, Smith...?'

'I don't get it.'

'Who's your hero?'

'Oh! You mean who's MY hero? Apoc. Oh, yes, Apoc's my man!'

'Oh. Well, I'll say, you're the first! And another question: Why don't you look Mary-Sue?'

Danae blinks.

'Meaning...?'

'You know, why don't you have long hair and green eyes? All Mary-Sue's must have that, you know. But you have shoulder-length-blunt-cut blonde hair, and grey eyes. That's not usual.'

'It isn't? Gee, I thought I was pretty average.'

'Well, your author must have some strange view on perfection; that's all I can say.'

Our heroine stiffens. 'Am I to take that as an insult?' she asks coldly.

'No, I'm just saying that you don't look like a Mary-Sue.'

'Glad to hear it.'

There is an awkward silence. Then our heroine asks:

'What's the point of this, anyway? What are you doing here?'

'Well, I'm actually a Lord of the Rings Mary-Sue. Genre: Legolas/Orlando. My author was an Orlando Bloom Stalker. () But I was put here by mistake, and I'm waiting to file my papers for a transfer.'

'A what?'

'A transfer. Abandoned LOTR Mary-Sues go to some random tower in Minas Tirith. Matrix Mary-Sues get locked up in the Merovingian's place.'

'Riiight...'

Danae gets up and walks over to the door. She tries to open it, but it is locked.

'Hello! People! I want out!' She yells through the door. A voice from outside says:

'I am not People!'

'Well, what are you then?!'

'A Program.'

'What the heck is a program and can I go now?'

'None of your business and NO!'

'It. Is. Too. My. Business and YES! I'm not a Mary-Sue!' she begins to bang on the door.

'You have to be one to be in there, missy.'

'It was a stupid mistake and my name isn't MISSY!'

'Tough.'

'Rrrrggg...' Danae stops banging and turns to the Mary-Sues.

'Anyone in the mood for a jailbreak?'

More A/N: laughs evilly and cracks knuckles Mweeheehee...!! I love a good jailbreak! This fic is coming to an end within the next 5 chappies; look for Jailbreaks, more Twins, kung-fu and Prophecies unfulfilled, Millions of Mary-Sues and APOC! Will Danae fulfill her role as the Two? Can she do it without swamping her Apoc with Mary-Sues? Will the agents pry the Zion mainframe code out of her? Will she and Apoc live happily ever after? Find out as the finale approaches! And REVIEW! Please. :)