A/N: Before I continue, I would like to state one thing I've just realized while writing this chapter. This fic does NOT fit into any kind of timeline relevant to the Matrix films. So if you're reading this, and are totally befuddled, that's why.
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Chapter 16
Tying up the loose Ends
Danae grins. "Hey, this is really cool! Ha! And Neo can only stop bullets and Sentinels, heehee!"
Neo stiffens. "I rather think stopping bullets and Sentinels is pretty cool, so there!"
Suddenly, the door bursts open, and who should walk in but... you guessed it.
"Miss Barton! Mr. Anderson! The great Morpheus! The great Merovingian! We meet at last!"
"Smithie boy! Smith! Smith! Smith! Smithie!!!!!"
I think you can guess who says those lines...
"Hiya Smelrond."
"Mr. Anderson, don't tell me that you're taking the virus fans' name for me, and besides, your 'coat' looks like something a priest would wear."
"Does not!"
"IT DOES NOT!!!" Screech the Mary-Sues
Danae yawns. "Hate to disappoint y'all. But actually, it does."
Smelrond turns his attention from Neo to our Heroine. "Well, well, Miss Barton, what are you going to do now? No out-of-character Twins to save you now."
Danae giggles. "You know, you just ended two sentences with the word 'now'? It sounded awful funny."
Smelrond only chuckles in a not-too-happy way, ignoring her giggles. "You know, Miss Barton, that I can destroy you any time I want? That I can turn you into one of my most powerful copies?"
"Congratulations."
"Hey! That's my line!" Neo bursts out
"Shut up, Mr. Anderson." says Smith
"Shut up yourself."
"Shut up both of you! Now behave!" hisses Danae
"Yes ma'am."
"Good boys. Now, Smelrond, you were saying-?"
"It is inevitable."
"Ooohhh! Don't you just LOVE the way he says that?" breathe the Mary-Sues
"Would you just be quiet over there?" grumbles Danae "Now, Smelrond, I cannot allow you to turn me into another one of you. Okay?"
Smith smirks. "But you see, Miss Barton, it really wouldn't do for me to copy you."
"Glad to hear it. And why is that?"
"Because I like to draw the code to the Zion mainframe out of people with a good deal of melodrama. Turning you into me is too cool-looking. So, Miss Barton, please follow me and let me hack into your mind in order to get it out."
"Dude, if you seriously think that I'm dumb enough to follow you ANYWHERE, you are quite mistaken. But the Zion mainframe code now, yes... I'm not too sure... what I should do with it..."
Meanwhile, the Merovingian and Morpheus are getting angrier and angrier from not being allowed long, boring, philosophical speeches yet. Finally, Morpheus sees his chance.
"Well, Danae, that is why you were brought back into the Matrix. We knew you knew about the code, so we brought you back..."
Danae coughs. "Yes, you already said that..."
"... so that you could walk through the door, so that you could walk the path. I could only show them to you."
"Bravo."
Ze Merovingian, not to be outdone, begins to preach as well. "Yes, yes, Morpheus, but I do not sink zat she has realized anysing yet. Ze cause has happened, not we must vait for ze effect. It is all causality... action, reaction, cause and effect..."
"You know what guys? You're making zero sense here."
"Zat is ze general idea of ze long, boring, philosophical speeches, Ma Chérie."
"Okay. So, is there anyone in this room who knows how to explain everything in plain English?" Danae groans
Smith laughs. "Why you disappoint me, Miss Barton. Your purpose is obvious: an easy way to trap the rebels and the exiles, get the code for us..." Smith advances on our heroine.
The Merovingian ever so slightly begins to raise a finger to signal to his henchmen.
Danae stares at everyone. They're all her enemies. She's nothing but a tool. And. She. Must. Survive. She. Must. Prove. To. Apoc. That. She. Is. Better. Than. The. Rest. Now!
Danae turns her head slowly towards the Mary-Sues, then smiles.
"All right, girls. Say Bye-bye to nice cute Matrix hunks."
"What?? Why?" Adyone hisses.
"Because I have come to, or rather, the author has come to, realize my path as The Two. I am to free all the Mary-Sues from the Matrix, so buckle your seat-belts, ladies!"
Our heroine closes her eyes, as if concentrating really, really hard on some stupid Algebra problem. Suddenly, she jumps into the air, and flies straight into the crowd of Mary-Sues! Her voice, suddenly grown exceptionally loud, is heard echoing throughout the hall.
"It is my proclamation that all the Mary-Sues shall return to their former homes, with no memory of these events! They shall then become the world's Mary-Sue fanfic writers, each to be freed at my whim! Be it so!!!"
With that, there is a flash of neon-pink light, and all the Mary-Sues have disappeared, to become the many lovely Mary-Sue-prone authors of today.
Suddenly the scene changes, and we hear Danae's voice coming through a random telephone.
"I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid, you're afraid of us Parody-Sue's, afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how this is going to begin. I'm gonna hang up this phone, and then I'm gonna show the Mary-Sues what you don't want them to see. I'm gonna show them a world without Neo. A world without sappy romances, without perfections, awesome powers, long hair and green eyes, a world where anything isn't possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you."
We see the Heroine stride out of the phone booth, finally clad in black leather. But still no sunglasses. She sighs, frustrated, and yanks out her cell phone.
"Tank, where in Middle-Earth are my sunglasses? Why do I still not get any??" She demands.
" 'Cause you're the Two. Remember?"
"Rrrrrggg..."
Who knows? If you write Mary-Sues, you may be one day freed by Danae. Just wait and see.
(Cue end credits, Wake Up and Rock is Dead start blaring. The Author runs screaming off, hands over her ears.)
The End.
A/N: But not quite!! Read the epilogues I've included, each with their own personal ending. Review whichever one you like best!
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