I lied. I'm repeating my disclaimer.

DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THESE SIMPLY WONDERFUL CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME (though I wish). THEY ALL BELONG TO THE ONE, THE ONLY...

JOHN RONALD REUEL TOLKIEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

The diary format was inspired by the Very Secret Diaries. ;D

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dear diary,

started packing for trip. arwen really fraying nerves here as she says that wormhole could possibly suck up baggage. not willing to lose only decent clothing. only decent clothing still makes me look like a walking barrel. arwen just laughs. well, how would she know the feeling? she's a woman, not a barrel-chested man.

maybe, i could hide in the wine celler, and pretend to be a barrel to get out of this crazy wormhole idea.

or maybe not.

really wishing right not that i had kept those tickets for harad.

why do these horrible things keep happening to me? why does MY wife decide to go to some foreign universe to have our honeymoon? why should we not have it here?

my wife is very stubborn.

bad feelings about this trip... thinking about consulting legolas, the local zen master.

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Dear Diary,

Oh, I am almost done with packing! I cannot wait until we get to Earth! This is going to be the best trip of a lifetime! Well, it may be my last trip...

Aragorn was being such a worrywart as usual... his nerves got the best of him, and he slinked off to go practice some therapeutic Tantric yoga with Legolas. I must admit, his classes are good. Why, the Silvan elf has even taught Gimli how to control his air intake! Considering that, I must say that he is a very good Zen master.

While me and Aragorn are away, I'm thinking about making some changes of staff. Despite his "fantastic" cooking skills, Peregrin cannot stay in charge of the kitchens any longer. Our mushroom harvest is already weak, and Peregrin is not helping. At least three TONS of mushrooms have "mysteriously disappeared". The fact that Peregrin smells like mushrooms all the time is not helping him, either.

Maybe Gandalf can stay as the Chief Counselor of Gondor...

A Note to myself: Pick up new kredit kard at the Gondor Depository Bank of Minas Tirith.

Another Note: Pay off all of Aragorn's debts to the United Dunedain for Numenor foundation... I cannot believe that the king of the Reunited Kingdoms actually gambled all of his money away with that group as a youth!

I must alert Gandalf about Aragorn's slight gambling problem... maybe he can help!