DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THESE UTTERLY WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC, THRILLING (errr... maybe not that) BRILLIANT CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME!!!!! THEY ALL BELONG TO...
drumroll please
(drumroll)
JOHN... RONALD... REUEL... TOLKIEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(fangirls go wild. One girl swoons because of excitement)
(thatz probably me)
The idea for this story's format belongs to Cassandra Claire, author of the Very Secret Diaries.
Read and enjoy, or as the French say:
Lisez et appréciez !
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dear diary,
oh no. please spare me eru. dont tell me that arwen has decided to book tickets for a wormhole trip today...
eru isnt listening to me.
why? why does she do this to me?
ah well... i can always say that prince imrahil has decided to hold his annual wine-sampling party today... she wont resist.
on the other hand, she hates dol amroth's wine.
why does these kinds of things always happen to me?
oh no... arwen is calling for me. this can only mean one thing.
WE'RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW.
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Dear Diary,
Well gosh, why is Aragorn taking such a long time to prepare himself? We're only going through the wormhole. It's not like anything wild, like oliphaunt riding in Harad, or wind surfing off the coasts of Umbar! Why can't he think of it this way: We'll be traveling to a foreign parallel universe! I mean, won't that be so fun! I bet he doesn't even know what a camel is.
But what if he's right? What if everything goes wrong?
That will never happen. Besides, Gandalf's in charge.
Then again, you don't know what can happen when Gandalf's in charge.
I mean, remember the Mines of Moria?
I do feel a bit sorry for the Balrog though...
Well, he was going to kill everyone in the fellowship (including my beloved Aragorn).
So, I guess I must put my trust in an old man who is close to developing Parkinson's disease.
I think I should go do some Tantric yoga...
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dear diary,
at wormhole. am going to throw up. turns out, a wormhole is a giant spinning fold in the space-time continuom. i dont even kno what that is.
i feel so stupid right about now.
should have paid attention in elrond's lessons... wasnt my fault that he drones.
okay, maybe it is.
gandalf is loading our bags into the wormhole. bye bye, crown of elendil.
did i just see...? i hope i was seeing some mirage when i saw our bags part ways.
they're supposed to enter in the same direction.
looks like gandalf noticed too. then WHY IS HE LETTING ARWEN GO IN?????
holy moses, arwen just went into the direction of my baggage.
i should follow my baggage and arwen. i'll buy arwen some bermuda shorts.
bermuda is that country where they dance to giant pipes, right?
uh oh, my turn... WHY IS GANDALF TURNING ME AWAY FROM MY BAGGAGE?????
bad feeling... BAD FEELING.
i...
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DEAR DIARY,
OH MY ERU I AM GOING TO KILL THAT GREY-TURNED-WHITE WIZARD WHEN I GET BACK.
I AM STUCK IN A LAND OF FOREIGN ELVES WITH ARAGORN'S LUGGAGE.
GANDALF HAS A LOT TO EXPLAIN.
Okay, I must read my pulse... Oh, he has SO MUCH to explain.
Calm down, remember, you're the Evenstar.
I BET YOU LUTHIEN NEVER GOT SENT TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE WITHOUT BEREN.
Calm down, calm down, remember, Breath from your inner chakra...
Okay, my map says that I'm in...
Tokyo, Japan.
Let's hope Aragorn is here, too.