Snape takes a bath
By Red
"My!" Professor Flitwick exclaimed as Professor Snape walked by, "Severus really smells!"
"You're right, I don't believe that man ever took a bath," McGonagall agreed.
"The only time he probably touches soap is when he rubs it against his greasy head."
"We should give that oily monkey a bath!"
"Capital idea, Minerva!"
"But how shall we lure him to take a bath?"
"Don't worry, I have a plan."
"Would all teachers report to the bathroom now," Dumbledore's voice boomed through the hallway, "All teachers, except Professor Snape."
This made Snapie sad, he was always being left out of the fun stuff that happened in the bathroom. So he decided to show up anyway because he didn't want to be left out again.
So Snape put on his prettiest black robe and black pants and black shirt and black shoes and black socks and black thong underwear and left to go to the bathrooms.
"There he is! That slimeball!"
All the professors lunged towards Snape.
"So, this is what you guys are always doing in the bathroom," Snape said excitedly.
"Get the water!" Madam Pince cried.
"Water? No! Not water!"
Next thing he knew, Snape was being plunged into a tub of lavender bubbles. The foul smell burned his nostrils.
Snape cried in pain as the soap touched his body, "It hurts! Burning.!"
"It's for your own good, Severus."
McGonagall began to pour shampoo into his hair as Professor Sprout began spraying him with water, and tiny Flitwick sponged Snape's feet while giggling wildly. Dumbledore ran around chanting orders, "More soap! More shampoo! Scrub harder! Get me a towel! Stat!"
Finally they were done washing. Snapie stood there wrapped in a towel and looked like a very miserable and ugly wet racoon-dog hybrid.
Madam Pomfrey began blow-drying his hair and putting in pretty pink curlers. "Done!" she exclaimed.
Snapie looked in the mirror. Suddenly he noticed his hair was more bouncy and manageable. And that he felt better when sheep heart and monkey dung wasn't wedged between his finger nails. He ran his fingers through his hair poofy hair, "Gosh, I look swell!"
"Oh Severus," Flitwick raised his eyebrow suggestively, "I enjoyed your choice of undies."
By Red
"My!" Professor Flitwick exclaimed as Professor Snape walked by, "Severus really smells!"
"You're right, I don't believe that man ever took a bath," McGonagall agreed.
"The only time he probably touches soap is when he rubs it against his greasy head."
"We should give that oily monkey a bath!"
"Capital idea, Minerva!"
"But how shall we lure him to take a bath?"
"Don't worry, I have a plan."
"Would all teachers report to the bathroom now," Dumbledore's voice boomed through the hallway, "All teachers, except Professor Snape."
This made Snapie sad, he was always being left out of the fun stuff that happened in the bathroom. So he decided to show up anyway because he didn't want to be left out again.
So Snape put on his prettiest black robe and black pants and black shirt and black shoes and black socks and black thong underwear and left to go to the bathrooms.
"There he is! That slimeball!"
All the professors lunged towards Snape.
"So, this is what you guys are always doing in the bathroom," Snape said excitedly.
"Get the water!" Madam Pince cried.
"Water? No! Not water!"
Next thing he knew, Snape was being plunged into a tub of lavender bubbles. The foul smell burned his nostrils.
Snape cried in pain as the soap touched his body, "It hurts! Burning.!"
"It's for your own good, Severus."
McGonagall began to pour shampoo into his hair as Professor Sprout began spraying him with water, and tiny Flitwick sponged Snape's feet while giggling wildly. Dumbledore ran around chanting orders, "More soap! More shampoo! Scrub harder! Get me a towel! Stat!"
Finally they were done washing. Snapie stood there wrapped in a towel and looked like a very miserable and ugly wet racoon-dog hybrid.
Madam Pomfrey began blow-drying his hair and putting in pretty pink curlers. "Done!" she exclaimed.
Snapie looked in the mirror. Suddenly he noticed his hair was more bouncy and manageable. And that he felt better when sheep heart and monkey dung wasn't wedged between his finger nails. He ran his fingers through his hair poofy hair, "Gosh, I look swell!"
"Oh Severus," Flitwick raised his eyebrow suggestively, "I enjoyed your choice of undies."