FOUR
In Which Eaves Are Dropped And Passionate Words Are Exchanged

The four boys followed Hermione and Malfoy at a distance out onto the grounds, where the two sat down underneath a barren tree. Fred and George hid behind a nearby bush and Harry and Ron followed them.
"Oh my love," Malfoy was saying, clasping Hermione's hand. She stared adoringly into his eyes. Ron made a retching noise, but Harry ignored him. "I fear, dear Hermione," Malfoy continued, "that this love will never survive in such a society as that which surrounds us."
"No, dear love, say not such things! Love can endure all things, and so must ours! Or else, my dear heart, I fear I must surely die!" Hermione collapsed into Malfoy's arms.
Malfoy made soothing noises as he patted Hermione's head. "Do not fear, darling. You shall not need to resort to such tragic measures. I can feel it my very soul that ours is not a love doomed to end in tragedy."
Ron snorted loudly. Harry elbowed him in the ribs, but Ron whispered sarcastically, "Doomed? Them? Never!"
Hermione sighed mournfully, thankfully having not heard Ron's noise. She pulled away slightly and asked, "But what will our friends say of us should they learn of this?"
"Should we learn of them... How dense would we have to be not to notice?" Ron muttered.
"Fear not, my sweet. I am quite sure, that, given time, we can win them to our side. For nothing is more worthy than true love! None but the foulest of dark creatures would dare stand in our way!" Malfoy declared.
"That's right, Ron," George whispered. "We knew all along there was something fishy about you and I think Malfoy's hit it right on the nose, there. 'Foulest of dark creatures'... Has a nice ring to it."
"Stuff it, you, I'm trying to hear," Ron muttered.
Malfoy had pulled Hermione closer to him, and now he was speaking into the top of her head. "I had never dreamed in all my life... Never even bothered to fantasize..." he murmured.
Harry grinned at Ron who gave him a look of disgust. "Enjoying this, are you? This is sick."
"C'mon, Ron, you don't find this even a little bit funny? I mean, think about it, Malfoy and Hermione. Together. How impossible is that? It's like a colossal joke." Ron glowered at Harry and looked away, but the twins gave Harry thumbs up and winked. Comprehension suddenly came to Harry. He opened his mouth, but Fred put a finger to his lips. Instead Harry mouthed, "You?" They nodded and grinned. Harry could feel a slow smile creeping across his face. He couldn't help thinking about how much Ron, Hermione, and Malfoy were going to hate Fred and George when this was all over. He laughed quietly. Ron gave him a scathing look.
"You don't get it, do you?" he asked angrily.
"No, it's you who doesn't get it, little bro. Haven't caught on yet, have you?" Fred asked mischievously. "Time to leave the two lovebirds to their own devices." The twins casually stood up and walked away. Harry poked his head over the bush and saw Hermione and Malfoy were too busy with each other to notice anything else. He pulled Ron up and they walked back to the castle, Ron fuming silently, and Harry laughing to himself.

That night in the common room, Ron, and Harry converged upon Hermione, demanding to know what was going on.
"I mean, it's Malfoy for goodness' sake!" Ron ranted. "When has he ever been deserving of your attentions? To him you're just a — you know — not pureblood," he finished lamely.
Hermione eyed him coldly, if a little distractedly. Clearly her mind was still on Dearest Draco. "I was right," she declared. "I knew that you would never be able to accept Draco and me together. He is so naive, dear Draco," she smiled slightly, "he claimed that you would understand. Silly boy."
Ron was opening and closing his mouth, unable to voice his thoughts. He turned to Harry for help. Harry shrugged, trying to keep himself from smiling. Fred and George were geniuses. How did they ever manage to make Hermione and Draco of all people fall in love? Harry knew he should probably tell Ron, but he was having too much fun watching Ron flounder in obvious jealousy and incredulity.
"True love," Harry began imperiously, "cannot be destroyed by any means we possess, dear Ronald." He had a hard time not laughing at the look on Ron's face as he, in Ron's mind, sided with the enemy. Hermione was giving Harry a look of mindless adoration. He found it rather unnerving.
"Oh, Harry!" She threw herself onto Harry, embracing him emotionally. "I knew that you would understand!" Disentangling herself she ran up the stairs to the girls' dormitories, but not before pausing to blow Harry a kiss.
Once she was out of earshot, Harry collapsed into an armchair laughing. Ron looked at him with a bemused expression. "I still don't understand how you find this so funny," he muttered, flinging himself into the armchair across from Harry's. "This is so wrong. Don't you get it? Hermione and Malfoy." Ron shuddered.
"It's you who doesn't get it, Ron. C'mon," Harry got up, "Let's go to bed. I'm too tired to do any homework."
Ron grunted in assent and stood up. "I still don't understand why you were laughing," he grumbled as they took the stairs two at a time. "It just isn't funny."
Harry grinned at his friend.