A/N: I don't own any of the characters mentioned, nor Harry Potter. I do own the plot and story.
Rating: R, for sexual activities
I am Narcissa Black. From the most Ancient and Noble House of Black. I am not meant to fall I love. I am engaged to Lucius Malfoy yet I don't love him. i am not meant to fall in love, but I did.
I never meant to meet my soul, my other half wandering aimlessly one evening around the school, but I did. His name is Remus Lupin. The quiet one. One of my cousins best friends. The lycanthrope.
No one could approve of such an odd pairing, so we made it easy on the majority. Like two star-crossed lovers, doomed from the start. I'm not sure how it all started, but here is my tale.
I was in my 6th year at Hogwarts. I was up late in the library studying, prefects have that privilege. I figured I was the only one left awake in the castle, well except for peeves and the ghosts plus some professors. I never figured another student would be out of bed, let alone wondering the halls. But he was. Still in his robes, like myself. His light brown hair neatly tousled atop his head. He was a prefect too, or else I would have reprimanded him. Not even if I wanted too, I don't think I would've. He had a sort of different aura about him. It wasn't until later I realized that it was the night before the full moon, maybe that was the reason for our madness.
Usually the sight of any of my cousin's, Sirius, friends repulsed me. But tonight, it was intriguing. We didn't say anything at first, just stared at each other. He was tired, but restless. It was the moons pulse that radiated from him, but I was at a loss of words. Fate works in mysterious ways. The pulse made me want to rouse whatever was inside of him, run my hands through his perfect hair. I never have had this experience before. I'm sure it showed because as soon as he moved, a took a step back.
He smiled his usual half grin, and I smiled back. My first true smile. Black's never smile, as a rule, we smirk. Or scowl, or sneer. But that was par for the course for purebloods of our pedigree. This time when he stepped forward I didn't flinch, it was as if my blood started to run hot, the air was suddenly very stuffy, he seemed to be so far away, yet I could feel his breath. Then I broke the silence,
"Restless night?" I asked softly, surprised at my own calmness, I was so nervous inside and I couldn't explain it. He nodded,
"Yes. Yourself?" His voice was low and a little raspy, he hadn't spoken much lately. but I loved it, it was like angels singing in the heavens, if their was such a thing.
"Finishing up an essay from Jestion. On Werewolves." I would swear that he seemed amused, but he didn't show anything, just turned to the portrait we were in the shadow of. It was the gray lady, resident ghost of Ravenclaw. She was standing alone atop a cliff, a storm in the background, raging the sea. Her silver hair blowing about, she was singing softly, not noticing them, she was singing of a forbidden love that she had fallen into. Doomed to repeat until the trumpets sounded.
"She's rather gloomy, isn't she?" Remus asked me suddenly, facing the frame fully. I moved to join him in front of her, hugging my bookbag to my chest. I was nearly as tall as he was, but I still felt diminished being in such close proximity to him. I had a sense that he was feeling the same as I was, but he was much better at covering his emotions than I was.
"She's like a lost dream, or missed intimacy, waiting in the depths of your mind. A diamond in the raw." I could express my mind to him and know that he understood everything I said. I shuddered involuntarily when his hand brushed against mine. He moved closer to inspect the picture more closely.
"I have too many like her." I was overcome by a new strength, taking a plunge I knew I would regret if I didn't.
"So do I." I interlaced my fingers in his and he turned to me, not mad, amazed or surprised, but understanding. He felt it too. Our eyes met and our hands came up into view, he was caressing my fingers with his lips. A rather bold gesture, even for the heat of the night that already in the air. He took a step back, still gazing intently into my eyes, our hands palm to palm. The intense silence finally broke,
"If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand." My breath stopped. Shakespeare, my idol. Romeo and Juliet, the greatest wooing scene in history. How did he know that I adored the bard? Was my first thought, but then I replied,
"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands to touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss." He smiled and took full advantage of this scene.
"Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?"
"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer." I had dropped my bag and our other hands were now touching,
"O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair." He took a step closer, we were now breathing the same air, the dim light I now realized to its fullest. The flames were dancing it seemed, just for us.
"Saints do not move, though grant for prayers sake." This stopped his movement and we stared into each others eyes.
"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take." Then it happened, with one fluid motion, Remus pressed his lips against mine in sweet affection. I melted into him and felt the fire burn inside me. He had unlocked the desperate soul that wanted free. I belonged to him and only him. It wasn't until later I realized that I had a fiancee. When he freed me, I nearly pounced upon him, how dare he! But his voice prevented my attack,
"Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged." His voice was as breathless as mine, hungry with want. But we had a scene to finish,
"Then have my lips the sin that they have took." A smile crossed upon my lips, spreading onto his, as if we were one.
"Sin from my lips?" His voice was incredulous, "O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again!" He was a little louder than I would have liked, what if Filch was about, but once his lips touched mine again, there was no return. This kiss was more impassioned than the first, he let up for a moment, to catch our breaths,
"You kiss by the book." I murmured and smiled as he kissed me again. No more words were required after that, soon the kisses we shared caressed our skin. We no longer were in a deserted corridor, lit by only torches, it was our own world, full of love and magic.
It started slowly, one button, than two. Soon he had my robe off and he followed in suit. After each achingly slow movement, he would kiss me, wither on the lips, cheek or some part of newly exposed skin. I reveled in each caress and touch. It was my first time and he was taking every available moment to build up my anticipation. Something about his movement excited me. A small gasp left my lips as he removed my blouse and kissed my neck and chest. He took a step back and admired his work before he undid his shirt and threw it aside. What I saw took my breath away. If he was skinny in day to day life it was nothing to what really existed. Scars were visible in the dim light, making them even more macabre. He took a step towards me and I to him, his arms encircled my waist and I traced a rather large mark, I felt him shudder at my touch but relaxed.
Then I took the initiative, my hands made their way to the button on his pants, as I kissed the base of his neck, the button came undone. His face was in my hair and his hand were working on my bra clasp. I smirked a smirk worthy of a Black and dropped his pants, plunging my hands into his sacred region. He jerked, but I could feel his excitement grow. My bra fell to the ground and his hands slowly cupped my breasts, he was savoring my body as much as I was savoring the feelings erupting in my stomach. He gently nipped at my nipples and I gasped. He undid my skirt and I fell into his arms.
Our mouths met and we lowered ourselves down to the ground. My heart was racing as he lifted himself up to gaze at my body. I saw him smile in the dark and that warmed my heart. Arching my back, he slid off my panties and gently aroused me. His breathing started to quicken, as did mine. We were now both completely naked, reveling in each others arms. His kisses were filled with desire and I was about to explode. Our eyes met and we knew,
"God, you're beautiful." He murmured, he said, stroking my hair. We were both breathing heavily. His eyes examined my face before he gave me the most innocent kiss I would ever remember. My legs spread out to allow him access to the jewel below.
He was gentle, ever so slow and I bit my lip as he broke my innocence. Then he began to thrust himself deeper into me, still at a slow pace. I relaxed into the motion of the desire and began to rock my hips with him. We continued to explore each others bodies with our kisses, I let out small moans in approval, and wanted more. We sped up, and things were more heated and desperate. I had tapped the animal within him and was enjoying every minute of it. Never in my life would I experience such escasty. I know my moans echoed throughout the halls and his efforts weren't all lost.
We came together at the peak of speed and want. Nothing about this night was lustful, lust, i would learn, was something completely different. This was in every way love I would never again experience in this capacity. As we stopped moving, he collapsed onto me and I held him to me. The sweat from his body mingled with mine, sending a sweet yet musky scent in the air. I smiled for the second time that night. If I could, I would've stopped time right there, but all good things must come to an end.
After a while, he removed his body from mine and propped himself up, eyes smiling into mine. I stretched my body out and rolled over to be closer to the heat from his body. He was playing with my hair. No words needed to be spoken. We had found each other and we needed nothing more in the world.
We must've stayed naked together for close to an hour, for when exhaustion finally took over us, we reluctantly dressed and sat together for another half an hour. It wasn't until we could see the suns light creep into the corridor from a window down the hall that we parted. His kisses were sweet, yet sad, and he held me as if he never would again. I had a tear in my eye when he kissed my brow and turned to go, I held him back, one question burned in my soul,
"Will I see you again?" I was desperate, and he could feel it. He was too, we wouldn't be able to walk away from this one night stand, if that is what it would be called unscathed. He gave me a sullen look, but never replied. He was gone.
Now I am Mrs. Lucius Malfoy, mother, wife, possession. I have a beautiful son whom I wouldn't trade for the world, yet I despise my husband. We were a political marriage, nothing more, nothing less. He is an evil man and I fear my son will follow in his footsteps. I shall try my damnedest to prevent his innocence from falling into the clutches of the Dark Lord. I owe it to him, and to my own innocence.
Their isn't a minute of my life I haven't thought about what might've been. Yet I know it never would be. I am like the gray lady now. Waiting for my love to return, yet knowing he is gone. Draco is sixteen this year. The year my life changed forever. Remus, where ever you are, I love you.