Summary – Naruto Characters are having fun with letter writing.

Author notes – Naruto and it's characters do not belong to her.

Author's notes – It's really lame, but put up with me on this one. Thanks to my friends for helping me with the last two letters! hugs her

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Having Problems With Your RELATIONSHIPS? Tell your Worries to Aunty Itachi.

Ramen Obsession

My boyfriend has an unhealthy ramen obsession, he eats, breathes, lives Ramen. Sometimes he doesn't pay attention to me even when I insult him or challenge him to a fight. I'm at my wits end to dealing with him already, even setting my fanclub on him hasn't worked (and it only served to make them adore me more) and I don't know what I should do to make him pay more attention to me. He's mine and I don't want to share him with Ramen. I'm worried for his health, what if I lose my temper and beat him up one day? What should I do?

- Avenger

Dear Avenger,

You sound like a pretty violent type, are you sure you are a girl? Anyway, insulting and challenging your boyfriend isn't going to do you any good at all, it's just going to make him feel unloved. Try to talk to him about it, perhaps that will let him know that he's not giving you the attention he deserves. And about your fanclub, I'm not so sure that was a good idea to make use of your fanclub to do your dirty work, any how, it seems as if it has cause you more trouble. 'He's mine and I don't want to share him with Ramen.' You actually sound like my younger brother, that idiot he is. And what's with the name? Avenger? WAAAIIIIIT, you sound too much like my younger brother, he has a fanclub too. Lose your temper and beat him up? YOU ARE MY YOUNGER BROTHER! SASUKE YOU LITTLE BRAT...SHOULDN'T YOU BE TRAINING TO BEAT ME! –censored-

(Sasuke is snickering at his Aunty Itachi and his brother's poor choice of a job while waiting for him to come and fight him. He is amused that his older brother took so long to realize he was pranked.)

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Suffering in Silence? Tsunade-Neechan will answer your prayers!

Being Insulted

I'm being insulted everyday! All the people in my village hate me! And even those who don't still insult me! I know that it's just all in the name of fun, but sometimes I feel that they are going overboard with the insults. Take my freaky teacher for instance, he's constantly praising the two other students in my team and when he's not teaching us or reading that perverted little book of his, he's insulting me. Sometimes it feels bad to know that all your efforts to improve

are deemed as worthless. Then there's that BRAT in my team. He's thinks he's so smart and powerful, but he's more of 'oh-I-am-so-mighty-because-I-have-a-stick-shoved-up-my-arse' in my opinion. All he does is call me an idiot and smirk at me. And even the village leader, who's life I SAVED once, laughs at my dream to become the village leader. And she's just an OLD HAG. What should I do to make people stop insulting me?

-Oturan

Dear Oturan,

Firstly, you could try to prove to others that you are good for something. Secondly, try to improve on your prank-pulling, you're getting rusty. Thirdly, don't insult your seniors, I'm sure Kakashi has his reasons for reading Icha Icha Paradise. Fourthly, calling me an Old Hag isn't going to help you, and so what if you saved me once? Lastly, try to come up with something more original Naruto, honestly, Oturan? You're quite the dumbass sometimes. Shouldn't you be improving on your Jutsu's instead of sitting around attempting to prank me. And next time, at least try to get Sasuke to help you, this is just too pathetic.

(Naruto is pissed and he blames Sasuke-brat for not helping him prank to old Baa-san because he said he had a stick-shoved-up-his-arse. He thinks Sasuke should learn to take jokes.)

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Have a message for a spirit? Write in and we'll pass it on for you.

I have a message for my son, Yondaime. Tell him,

'Yondy, my darling son! Hows life up there?! Are the people there treating you well? Did you see your dad? Is the food nice there? Did you meet any nice ladies, is your wife there? How much are the clothes there? Make sure you eat properly and dress properly! So high up in the sky, I bet it's very cold! Always lock your door at night okay! Don't let the breeze in. And remember to wash your underwear okay! I won't be there to help you this time! Just because you're up there and I'm in not doesn't mean that I can't catch you and poke your butt! Be a good boy okay! Muah everyone down here misses you! And you should see this huge stone carving they made of you! You look so handsome in it! And you! You should teach your student better, that Kakashi had started to read those perverted books! If I were you, I'd come back down here and hit him on the head, that'll teach him... -this message has been cut short due to the lengthiness-

(Yondaime is exasperated and embarrassed with his mom being such a worry-wart about him. And he does wash his underwear! Also, his spirit pals are all laughing at him after reading over his shoulder)

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Need to relieve some stress? Tell Dr. Kisame your problems.

I'm SO ANGRY! Can you believe this? Yesterday my son came home and murdered me and my family!? And all because we wouldn't get him that Pikachu plush toy he wanted! I mean how rebellious is that! Such an un-filial son! In fact, BOTH MY SONS are SO REBELLIOUS!

That Itachi! Always coming home late! He eats half the food on the dinner table, sleeps all day, hogs the bathroom and never tidies his own room! AND I SWEAR I SAW HIM KISSING A GUY LAST FRIDAY!

And Sasuke! Equally BAD. Always fighting with Itachi about who gets the TV remote first! Both of them don't even ask their parents! And that time! He pulled a wedge-y on Itachi and they started a civil war with potted plants! And who had to clean up the mess after them? All that muck, grime, dirt? ME!

I'm SO FUSTRATED! Luckily, I don't have to handle them anymore, seeing that I'm dead.

- Mommy Uchiha

(Kisame is still in shock at the letter and does not know what to think. Itachi has seen the letter and has burned it up.)

-End-