Moratorium
by Nyohah
iii.
So jump in while the flame is bright
And if you jump when the wind is right
Think of this not as fire but lights of coming dawn
- Universal Hall Pass, "Dragonfly"
Her boots are ruined. Hence, she needs two new pairs of boots to replace them. Thus states the law of exponential clothing accumulation. The statement is repeated for each ruined (or worn or tired) item of clothing.
So, naturally, the day after she stabs Remus Lupin with a cursed knife, Narcissa Malfoy goes shopping. She wears shopping clothing, carefully chosen so she can look like there is no item of clothing in the world that could possibly make her any more stunning while easily being able to slip out of said clothing to try on other things. The ensemble is completed with reasonably sensible shoes and a plump credit line. She is simultaneously intimidating and irresistible to shop owners. Narcissa feels like hurling a vase at the mirror when she has finished dressing.
When she went to bed (she didn't sleep) the night before, she hadn't thought she would be able to replace her blood-stained clothing so quickly. She has, after all, essentially killed a man. Never mind that he isn't actually dead—he will stay cursed and unconscious for a time in days equal to the time the blood stays on the knife in minutes, and the knife will not be cleaned. She lay in bed willing nightmares as cruel and vivid as those Remus Lupin was now suffering upon herself but unable to sleep and bring them on, thinking deeply of a kaleidoscope of interrelated thoughts that came as a response to her desperate attempts to think of nothing. And she realized that there was exactly one thing she had to do, and she had to go shopping in order to do it.
She plans carefully so that St. Mungo's Hospital will be along a fairly straight-forward path between two stores she will visit. She can take a short break from her shopping to pop in and visit...an old friend...leaving the house elves taking care of her bags in the lobby well away from her, of course.
But there is a problem. The nurse at the front desk says that Remus Lupin is not in the hospital anywhere. Narcissa smiles weakly and shakes her head. "My mistake," she says.
She spends the next ten minutes in a stall in the loo, concentrating on breathing. Then she continues shopping. Before she visited the hospital, she had trouble concentrating, wondering in what shape he was going to be, and whether she could see him without being noticed. Now she finds it impossible to concentrate. After, in the second store she visits, she nearly matches pink with red, she gives up. It has been three hours.
She arrives at St. Mungo's for the second time that day ten minutes before visiting hours are up. There is a different nurse at the front desk, and Narcissa asks her whether there is a Lupin in the hospital.
"Hmm. Lupin, Lupin," she says five times, looking through files. "How do you spell that, now?"
Narcissa clenches her teeth and spells it very slowly.
"Oh, yeah, here he is," she laughs. "I was using two o's. Silly of me. Yeah, I remember him. Poor guy, only got here a couple hours ago. He got found by the Muggle police, you know. They only sent him over here after them Muggle healers couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. Well, besides the obvious." She laughs again. "Stabbed, you know. And cursed. And then when the Ministry got there to settle down the hubbub, they figured out who he was, and—" She leans forward and whispers, "What he was."
"Yes, I know," Narcissa shushes her.
The nurse squints at Narcissa as if just realizing who she was. "What do you want to see him for?"
Narcissa tilts her head up and gives the nurse her best I'm rich, and you're not look.
"Well, visiting hours are almost up now, anyway. Only two minutes. That's hardly enough time to get there."
"Just tell me where he is," Narcissa says coldly.
The nurse squints at her for a few seconds more, then relents.
It is a long walk to his room. They've put him in long-term care. And he has his own room. She's sure it's because of what he is. It's not a very nice room, but the privacy will make it easier for her. She's somewhat surprised (and very relieved) they bothered to put him in long-term care at all rather than just putting him out of his misery like they would any animal.
He looks sick, but that's not unusual for Remus Lupin. However, of all the people in the world, she would have thought he would look peaceful and innocent lying in a coma. He looked peaceful and innocent when he shouted at her for what she swore was a full five minutes sixth year (it was the only time she had ever heard him shout at anyone). But there, lying in a hospital bed, injured and unable to be awakened, he looks angry. But it does make some sense. She has known him long enough to know that he hates being in the hospital and always has.
She reaches down and feels his forehead. He is burning. The fever is the most noticeable thing about the curse. That and the fact that he cannot be awakened. She doesn't know whether the healers only put him in long-term care after they realized they couldn't wake him or if they know what curse he is under and that the nightmares will wake him when his time is up. She wonders whether he knows they are dreams or if he really believes he is suffering.
Even if she went home at once and cleaned the knife, he'd lie in this bed for nearly four years. And when the time was up, and he awakened, Lucius would check the knife, and she did not want to know what would happen to her then.
However, two nights before, the magical world had learned from Lily Potter that there is a very powerful way to block curses. The world was just too stupid to realize it, and thought it had something to do with the boy, which it did, but indirectly. Narcissa had understood the circumstances immediately, although she had not realized the implications for nearly twenty-four hours. No one would believe her if she told them. They believe her incapable of the requirement, and thus incapable of understanding it. But she isn't, and she knows exactly what happened at the Potters.
Narcissa is no prophet, not even a seer, but perhaps she always has had a bit of the Sight, if not enough to be useful. It's all she can think of to explain why it all started in the first place. She had certainly had no real reason to pay any attention to him in the beginning. No one did, which was why there were so many people even when they graduated who knew the name but couldn't place it to a face.
She leans down and kisses Remus Lupin on the forehead. Her lips burn. He blinks at her.
She says, "Umm..."