Disclaimer: see Chapter 1

A/N: Thanks to all reviewers. I LOVE all kind of feedback. So please, please go on!!

Departure

Part 4

2 days later

My diary,

I am full of pride and hope. Jarod has agreed to help me to get Jimmy out of the Centre. Still I don´t know how I managed to to talk to him.

It was nearly noon when I entered the building near our hotel. Jarod was on the way out again. I called him and he saw that I was alone. May be the fear in my eyes and the anxious voice helped to show my real being. Nevertheless he returned to the room and took a seat to wait what I´d say. I started pacing around and around when he suddenly grabbed my hand and sat me on a chair near to his.

"Tell me what happened!" he simply said and I started to speak about the boy. I was not able yet to show him any of my emotions, but the wall around my heart started to crumble.

He surprised me with some information about Jimmy´s well-being. He has got this news from an insider, that´s for sure. But who is this mysterious person? I sometimes think on Angelo, but is he really able to work properly on a PC? He often helped me in our youth, especially when Daddy became furious and slashed out. I never found out how he knew and I either didn´t understand why he even came, but he was one of the only persons who ever really helped me.

Jarod asked and asked and asked to get to know my real reasons. First I explained it with my fear for Jimmy, then I changed the tactic and reminded him on family ties. Though I am only Jimmy´s sister, but he accepted it. When he again asked for other reasons, I couldn´t manage it anylonger. I started to cy "I need to have some peace finally. I couldn´t stand all this pain much longer and have to leave soon. Otherwise I will become a ´walking death´, a machine without any feelings."

The wall inside crashed down. My words doubled over: "I often feel the stony wall inside growing rather quickly. There are days when I even cannot hear my mom´s voice only Daddy´s harsh words from the past."

I couldn´t stop the tears but turned my head away from him. This was not the way I had planned, but it was what I really felt. Jarod came over, turned my face to him and started to wish the tears away.

"Easy Parker. I know that inside yourself there is still the sensitive woman I so much like, no... For a long time, ever since I managed to escape, I tried to force this part of you. Sometimes it was there, I saw it in the Keys and during the bank-robbery, especially when we saved the clone from Donoterase. He told me what you said to him before Raines came in. I love you since we were young, perhaps since I laid my eyes on you.

At Ocee´s I really thought you would leave and go with me. Since then I sometimes felt lost, so lonely because I had tremendous doubts. But I once told you that I would never give up on you and I stayed."

I was so happy, so deeply touched and had to cry harder. When he took me in his arms and started kissing me, it felt like coming home. His hands wandered above my body and under my blouse. I tried to open the belt of his black jeans but he took my hands in his.

"We have so much time. I really desire you very much, but I would like you being the strong woman, not the devastated and completely exhausted one. When we will be together, it will be perfect for both of us." Afterwards he took the blanket and pulled it over both of us. He embraced me and told me to sleep. Once again I cried alot. He soothed me gain and again until I finally fall asleep.

During the night I had an awful nightmare. I was running down a hall, the walls came closer and seemed to take all the air. I couldn´t breathe and set up with a cry. At once Jarod woke up, too. He encircled me and we both laid down again. When I woke up this morning, I was still lying in his arms. Never ever since my mom died I felt so safe!!

I got up and prepared breakfast when he entered the room. He was looking so great. I couldn´t get my eyes from him. "The eggs!" he cried out some moments later, but it was too late. They were burnt completely. We both bursted into laughter. I threw the eggs away and he started the cooking again, after he told me to go to bath first.

What I saw in the mirror was a very happy although still tired face. Mom´s voice told me to proceed and enjoy everything Jarod would give to me. Once again I felt the wall growing slightly. It felt too good. Always in the past when I felt so good, something happened and left me alone again.

When I came back to the dining room, I couldn´t help but smile. As if Jarod knew that my emotional self-confidence would lower itself, he had placed some of his PEZ-heads and some balloons around the table. On my place laid a kind of a Smiley, self-painted by what seemed a little kid. He told me that the pic has been drawn by the little girl from the neighbourhood. I could not resist and had to laugh again. The next minutes the tears started to flow again. There are so many tears inside myself. I never allowed to flow really. I felt like a basket-case again, but Jarod soothed me. "It´s ok to cry, Parker!" he always repeated and the tears ran more heavily.

After the stream stopped, he once more carried me to the couch and placed the blanket around me. "Sleep, Parker! I will stay in here. When you wake up, we will start the way back to Dover. Sleep my love!" It took me only seconds and I slept deeply.

Now we are on the way back to the Centre. The doubts are fully back. Will we find a solution and free Jimmy? I have to have some faith and trust into all the others, but it´s so hard. Mom, I once again need your support. Please help me, no help us!!

- End of part 4