Disclaimer: see Chapter 1

A/N: My special thanks to all the reviewers. Crazyrussiangal, Nancy and Joy, you are phantastic! Please don´t stop it. I hope you will enjoy the next part now.

Departure

Part 6

The same night

Oh god, why did I try to cook? Though it was only some Spaghetti I burnt them. When Broots, Debbie and Jarod arrived, I had ordered once again something from the little Italian Restaurant nearby. Jarod at once smelled what happened after he entered into the living area and joked around. "When we will live together I won´t allow you to cook." The others started to laugh, but I only heard these words. "When we will live together" ... will we ever be able?

It was so easy to talk with all the good friends around, it´s surprising me. I never expected to laugh and battle a little bit with neither of them except maybe Jarod. We did it in the past, during the phone calls. Debbie made a comment that still touches me deeply:

"I would like this to go on and on and never end. It´s such a nice evening with all of you around me!"

Although I wanted to confirm it, I couldn´t bring out a word. It felt like Daddy is watching over me and saying: "You are a Parker, act as one! You don´t need anyone." When I left the room I ran into the bathroom and started to vomit.

Jarod was waiting outside and though I started to battle against him, he took me in his arms and shushed me. Finally I gave up and started to cry once more. Debbie came over again like she did in our first days and set down next to me. Again she took my hand in hers and just kept it.

Now everyone could see how weak I am but all of them told me that I am ok. I do not trust them at least but the little flame inside lighted up again. Maybe they are right, and Daddy is wrong? I so dearly want to believe this voice, now can I?

It took me nearly an hour to get a grip of me again. Afterwards we had a little conversation of what we need to do next. Then all of them except Jarod left. He stayed with me, kept me talking to him ... really talking not that cryptically things we shared before. When I started myself opening to him, I couldn´t stop it. I told him about all the irritating messages I got from Daddy and on the other from my Mom. Once in the past I thought I would go nuts over all this things, but then I decided to go Daddy´s way.

Until Jarod left the Centre and showed me all the crazy things that happened in the past and are still happening, I only believed what Daddy told me. But then again my Mom´s voice grew up and confirmed what Jarod told me and my self-confidence was blown again. It´s growing now again but I have to start to find myself once more. Will I be able to put myself together again? Sometimes I doubt it.

All the time he was sitting next to me and had this look in his eyes, full of understanding, sorrow but also full of his love. After what seemed hours to me he brought me to my room and slipped into bed with me. I fell asleep once my head met the pillow but awoke after a short time. I had to write it down, maybe to believe all of it, to believe them?

Oh, mist, ... I completely forgot to watch Angelo´s disc. I´ll do it now.