A/N: Hey guys! I'm back after... a really long time... And this is my first Escaflowne fic! I'm so excited! Also Guimel and Viole aren't in here because... they don't really have a character... Enjoy anyway!

Of Revenge, Love and Cross-dressing

Chapter 1: In Which Dilandau and His Dragonslayers All Find Themselves Alive

Day broke over the pale Asturian skies and all sorts of forest critters were waking to the sweet morning dew that covered the fresh grass. Among these critters were five young men, all of them 15 years of age, and a large dog like man. They lay in circle; each of them curled up into a fetal position and soundly sleeping a dreamless sleep.

Hours after the day officially broke did the first member of the group wake. The full albino sleepily opened his eyes to the morning light seeping over the forest grounds. The light was warm, yet he was freezing. He began rubbing his arms, trying desperately to warm up.

It was only until he brushed up against his bare legs that he realized the reason for his frozen body. My uniform...?

"Jajuk—"he began, only to remember the death of his only soldier.

There was a rustling behind him as a huge fuzzy hand was placed on his bare shoulder. "What is it Lord Dilandau?" Jajuka himself answered. Dilandau almost leaped out of his skin.

"What's going on?! You're dead! I WATCHED YOU DIE!" Dilandau screamed, his voice shrill and distraught. The large dog man yawned, ignoring his master's claims. He was far too sleepy to give a damn this early in the morning.

"Lord Dilandau... where are we?" came another voice from behind Jajuka. Gatty slowly sat up on the wet dew. He was rubbing an eye sleepily and trying hard not to fall back down again. "Gatty...?"

"I think it's obvious we're in a forest" Miguel quipped. He was a bite annoyed of be woken up from his slumber. "Miguel...?"

"Where on Gaea have our uniforms gone?!" came Schesta's panicked voice from his left. The red-faced soldier was trying desperately to cover himself up with whatever he could find. "Schesta...?"

Finally there was a snorting sound coming from his right. Dallet had keeled over with his hands clasped firmly around his mouth and his shoulders shaking slightly. Dilandau raised an eyebrow at his behaviour. "Dallet... is there a problem?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.

Dallet took his hands away from his mouth and burst into a fit of laughter. "I... I'm sorry, Lord Dilandau!" he choked out, "but I never knew..." Dallet was now gagging on his words.

"Yes?"

"I never knew..."

"Yes? T T"

"Th-That you were so small!"

Dilandau's eyes narrowed and he ever so casually walked up to Dallet and slapped him hard across his face. "Dallet..." he began through gritted teeth, "If you even say that again... I'm going to personally do away with you this time!"

Dallet tried hard to keep himself from snickering. "Sure, whatever you..." he say apologetically and then added, "'Big Man.'" Dilandau grabbed the back of Dallet's head and smashed it into the dirt carpet. Dallet's muffled apology could be heard through mouthfuls of dirt.

ololololo

Schesta had managed to cover himself in as much grass and leaves as he was possibly able, so much so that he could've been easily mistaken for a bush. Gatty was trying, and failing, to figure out where they were. Jajuka was looking for food and Dallet was trying to keep himself from laughing. Dilandau sat under a tree Organizing their next plan of action.

Zaibach had fallen... he knew that. He also knew that it was Van Fanel and Allan Schezar's fault. Asturian troupes only knew what he and Miguel looked like and to their knowledge they were both dead. They could attack Asturia and Fanalia and get rid of those dogs. Yet they were without weapons, Melefs or clothes and they were all very hungry. Infiltration was the only answer. All they needed now were disguises.

ololololo

In the air, about 100,000 feet above our Dragonslayers, the Crusade flew towards the kingdom of Asturia, carrying Malerna back from a visit to Fanalia. Her and Allan were helping to rebuild the country and they had also brought along Celena. She was silently watching the world pass by ever wondering what ever happened to Him.

Gaddes quickly came racing do towards the three of them. "Sir! We've lost some luggage!"

Allan, a bit shocked, stared wide-eyed at his second-in-command. "How?"

"The hatch opened somehow. We're not such why, or even how, but the men are working on fixing it"

"What was lost?" Allan asked.

"Nothing that important... just a couple of dresses I think."

ololololo

Back down on the forest floor, the 'Slayers had listened to Dilandau's plan. It had many gaps in it: how were they going to get in, how are they going to disguise themselves if they didn't even have clothes of their own and so on. Though they already knew that when Dilandau is driven by revenge nothing stops him.

"So... are the answers just going to fall from the sky?" Miguel asked.

Just as Dilandau was contemplating slapping him for that, pale pink cloth fell from the sky and landed in a clomped pile in front of them. "Clothes!" Schesta exclaimed, excited that he no longer had to pose as a bush. He jumped from his pile of leaves and grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on. When he pulled it out he realized...

"Dresses?" Schesta stated questioningly, separating them one by one. Not even a single pair of pants in the pile.

"Men, this is our disguise!" Dilandau exclaimed.

"We're going to cross-dress?" Gatty questioned.

"Yes! It's the perfect infiltration pan! We'll apply as maids and then slit their throats while they're sleeping!"

Dallet picked up the smooth cloth and made a face of disgust. "The things I do because of loyalty..." he muttered under his breath.

A/N: Well? What do you guys think? This fic was completely influenced by the song Dude Looks Like a Lady by Aerosmith. It's an awesome song go listen to it! Well let me know what you guys thought! RR