"If it isn't Jack Sparrow... I thought you'd still be on the Black Pearl."

"It's Captain! And no, I – uh- well this one came into my possession after the Pearl sank. Blowin' 'oles in people's ship tends to make them do that Norry, dear."

"It's Commodore Norrington, and I didn't track you down because I missed your 'unique' conversational skills, I came to enquire the whereabouts of a girl."

"Oh, you mean Ms. Swann; I do believe she may preoccupied helping my friend Mr. Turner with his trousers..."

"You will not speak of Elizabeth like that!" Norrington's face was turning that shade of red that Jack knew far too well. "I came to ask about a Spanish girl, Sofia de Madrid. I do believe that pirates raided the ship she was traveling on, and knowing these waters and your taste, I'd say you had something to do with it."

"Apparently, Commodore, you know nothing about my taste I'm not one for Spanish girls, they're just too pretty. I do prefer the skinny, pale, oh and don't forget stuck up Governor's daughters. That Swann harlot has such..."

"I said you would not speak Elizabeth in that manner! She is not a Harlot and if you utter a word about her again I will not regret taking you to be hung like the pirate you are!"

"Why are you so uptight Norry? You're not a eunuch are you? I've heard you do have a lovely singing voice..." Jack said bringing his eyes down to Norrington's trousers. The Commodore just maintained his face's shade of red.

"Search the ship, men! Beginning with the good Captain's quarters!"

Sofia heard footsteps coming down the hall as she stood in Jack's cabin.

"Oh, but it's such a mess in there..." Jack shouted as he came closer to the door, "you really don't want to go in there!"

Sofia took this as her signal to enter the rum cabinet. She squeezed in, and Jack was right she did fit. She and her big dress. She figured as long as she was in there she might as well have some thing to drink. It wasn't like a little alcohol was going to matter if she were caught.

"Alright, alright men, begin your search of the rest of the ship. Lieutenant Gillette, stay outside the door until I tell you otherwise. Alert me if the men finish their search before I exit this room. I'll stay here with Mr.– er- Captain Sparrow." Said the Commodore. As much fun as it was searching through Jack's dirtly laundry he could find nothing in this room.

"That's right mate, now you're gettin' in the swing of it! Doesn't it sound lovely? 'Captain Sparrow'. Oh say it again Norry..." Jack was beginning to ramble.

"Shut up Sparrow! Where is the girl?" All of Norrington's men had left.

"Commodore, I told you there ain't no girl on this ship. Bad luck to have a lady on a ship, ye' know—'sides I do fancy boys while at sea." Jack joked putting his arm around Norrington and raising an eyebrow in his direction, obviously making him uncomfortable.

This whole time Sofia sat in the closet... fancies boys does he??? She held back her laughter as hard as it was.

Norrington was busy still interrogating Jack in the room.

"Jack, I know she's somewhere on this ship! There were at least 10 men who witnessed this ship sailing away after taking the girl." In reality it had been 2 but if Sparrow thought there were more then maybe he'd confess quickly, if he would at all.

"Listen, dear Commodore, I told you, there are no women on my ship..."

BRILLAINCE!

Norrington had a grand idea. Jack's ships were famous for a few things but the one which did him any good at this moment was the various secret passages in which Jack hid rum, whores, prisoners, and the occasional cabin boy in. So James Norrington began his knocking on the walls of the Captain's quarters. Jack knew what he was doing immediately.

"Ye' don't wanna be doin' that mate!"

Knock! Tap! No this side isn't hollow.

"Stop that Norrington!"

Bang! Knock! Not this one either.

"Commodore! I say Commodore!"

Aha! This ones it...

With one last punch to the wall Norry found the handle/latch to open the wall.

There was a young – uh?- "Lady" didn't seem to be the right word with in the cabinet he found. Red dress hiked up to her upper thighs, a low-cut collar gave both men an easy eyeful of cleavage, each hand held a bottle of what looked like Caribbean rum, big brown eyes and dark, long, curling hair framed a face that smiled relentlessly at the Commodore and the Captain. This girl did not seem old enough, or quite fit to become the Governor's wife.

"uh... Sofia de Madrid?" the Commodore asked a little shocked.

"No! No!" interrupted Jack, "This is my –erm- cousin- couin's sister's son's second wife's half-sister twice removed... See the relation in the eyes???"

"Yes, yes!" Sofia giggled, as she widened her eyes. She had almost topped off ¾ of a bottle in there and was quite tipsy.

"What is your name miss?"

"My name? It's- well..."

"Is that an accent I detect?"

"No!" Jack interrupted once again "No! The poor girl's a little slow. Out her head, really. Her words tend to slur and whot-not."

"Let the girl speak for herself, and get out of that closet please!" demanded Norrington.

"Jack is telling you the truth!" Sofia managed to say while trying to sound as much like her British English teacher as possible.

The Commodore was convinced that there was no blood relation between Jack Sparrow and this girl who was desperately trying to fool him while drunk. He walked to the door and opened it, "Gillette, bring me the portrait of Ms. De Madrid. I've made an interesting discovery in Mr. Sparrow's quarters."

Jack wasn't sure what Norry was telling his errand boy but he was sure he heard his name NOT preceded by "Captain".

Norrington turned around and sized up Sofia once more. She was sitting cross-legged on Jack's bed. She was looking rather intriguing and both men noticed it. Minutes later Gillette knocked on the door.

"Enter, Lieutenant"

Gillette was taken back at the sight of a ravishing young woman on Jack Sparrow's bed. Sofia de Madrid to be precise. She was the same girl from the small portrait he held in his hand. Grabbing the picture and holding it up next to the face of the girl who was smiling brightly and offering some rum to Gillette.

"Just as I thought." Said Norrington as he confiscated the rum Gillette had taken happily.

"Young lady, please make yourself decent" he continued, eyeing her legs as her dress was still hiked up to her upper thighs, "gather your things, you're coming with us."