I apologise in advance, this is a very bitty chapter... I promise to put the next one up really quickly to make up for it!

Jack O'Neill couldn't remember the walk home. He vaguely remembered opening his front door to find a damp Cassie and her three closest friends sprawled in front of his television with the remnants of several large pizzas at their sides, because Cassie had paid for them with his credit card and he had thought: That won't be cheap. He couldn't have told anyone what flavour pizza he had when he ate one of the cold slices.

He couldn't remember, or think, about anything else but Samantha Carter.

Her breathing was ragged. "I love you," she whispered into the nape of his neck. "I love you Jack."

He went upstairs and sat on his bed, staring at the wall and thinking of nothing but her.

Of the way it had felt to finally, finally hold her in his arms.

Of the way she kissed.

Of -he started to grin-of the way she did other things related to kissing but not in anyway like kissing.

For once in his life he felt truly glad that today he was Jack O'Neill. For once, it seemed like his life was going alright. Better than alright even. Going great.

He fell backward onto his bed.

Carter lay in bed, next to her sleeping fiancé. Lay in the bed that she had, less than four hours ago lain in with another man.

And she felt terrible.

Terrible because she knew all that she wanted was to spend another time like that with Jack O'Neill.

And terrible because she knew she could never let herself.

Pete had sold his house.

And she would marry him, because that was the right thing to do. To be with another man was the wrong thing to do. Even if when she was with that other man, being with that other man - why couldn't she say his name?- being with Jack, felt like the right thing and marrying Pete seemed the wrong thing. Her sense of duty would prevail.

And that was why she cried through the night whilst O'Neill slept soundly and dreamt pleasant dreams about her.

She told him by leaving a message on his answering machine, nine days before her wedding day. She purposely booked the week off work before her wedding and 'phoned him on the Friday night, when she knew he'd still be on base.

She left the message on the machine and pulled her 'phone cord out of its socket so he couldn't reach her. Then she locked all her doors and windows and went out with Pete.

"I'm sorry Jack... It was a stupid mistake. I... I hope we can still be friends. If you don't want to be a bridesmaid anymore then I understand... Uh.. I'll see you soon. Um. Bye."

Not exactly the most eloquent of messages, but it would get the point across. Of that she was sure.

'The bluebird of happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the chicken of depression.'

O'Neill stared at the cartoon, a re-run of an old 'Far-Side.' It was on the open page of the newspaper someone (presumably Cassie) had been reading and had left on his sofa. The chicken of depression. That sounded about right.

He started to laugh, alone in his house, the message light still blinking on his answering machine, as he had cut off Carter's voice after she has told him 'I hope we can still be friends.'

It was a laugh that danced with insanity, and when he stopped to draw breath the laughter transmuted into tears; tears he hadn't cried since Charlie had died.

Charlie. Thinking of him had a strangely calming affect on O'Neill. However much this hurt, nothing could ever top the pain of losing his son. He would survive. He would endure.

He wondered if it was worth it.

The front door opened and Cassie called out. "Jack? Are you home?"

"I'm in here."

He could hear her feet padding on the carpet as she moved towards him. He wiped his still streaming eyes guiltily as she pushed open the door.

"Hi Jack I-" She stopped. "What's happened?"

"Nothing, I uh-"

Cassie's eyes darted to the blinking light on the answer machine. She ran for it and O'Neill scrambled after her.

She pushed the button as he reached her. "Don't!" died on his lips as the machine played the message.

I'm sorry Jack... It was a stupid mistake. I... I hope we can still be friends. If you don't want to be a bridesmaid anymore then I understand... Uh.. I'll see you soon. Um. Bye."

And to his utter disgust, Jack found himself shaking again, tears splashing down his tee shirt. Cassie's lower lip trembled as she watched him break down. Then she simply put her arms around his neck and cried with him, into his chest.

"I'm sorry Jack, I'm so sorry Jack.."

Her words washed over him, a comforting mantra and he managed to calm the trembling in his limbs. "I'm okay."

"You don't sound it."

"Why are you crying?" he asked, stupidly, unable to talk about himself.

Because... because she's destroying you. And herself. It's terrible to watch, it's like seeing a car crash and knowing that all you can do is pick the bodies from the wreckage. You're heading for a disaster of epic proportions.

Cassie looked at his face and realised she could never say those words.

"Because it's so sad," she lied.