Alright lemme just reply 2 some of the reviews cuz I noticed that I never got around to doing that.

-I actually do like keira knightly, I think shes really cool but it just so happened that it was convenient for Elizabeth 2 be and oblivious bytch thus far.

-keep in mind sofia does think that Jack did do something wrong

-woohoo!! Im getting good reviews! (does a happy dance!)

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'oh Will, yes! There!'

'Sofia, you're so good! Oh my, just look at you! Big breasts and all!'

for reasons unbeknownst to her Elizabeth couldn't get these thoughts out of her head. As she watched Will try to convince Sofia to try rice pudding, actually try to feed her rice pudding all she could manage to think was how she was going to kill him.

"gi...er..thrrr...mm..ow!" Elizabeth grumbled, not able to make full sentences.

"What's that Strumpet?" Jack couldn't contain his laughter. He'd never seen her so mad.

"GIVE ME THAT RUM NOW!"

"Elizabeth, you know you're really not decent when you drink." Will mentioned as he spooned Sofia her first bite of pudding.

"mmm... Will, this is delicious!" Said Sofia

"I know, I love it but since Elizabeth cant stand the stuff I can never have any." He responded, "Thank goodness you're here!"

Sofia had another spoonful.

Elizabeth guzzled another swig.

...about 45 minutes later...

"Where's me drink?" asked Jack

"I hiccup!finished it." Answered Elizabeth.

"One more round then!" hollered the Captain.

"Huzzah! More hiccup!drinks!" Liz was overjoyed until she realized that she and Jack were alone at the table. "Where's my William and where's your hiccup!whore?"

"well my whore went to go get us our rum but sofia, I believe, left with your bonnie William minutes ago." Jack answered.

"so we're alone then?" she smiled evily before hiccupping once again.

"I believe we are."

"Then let me see it Jack!" she basically dove into Jack's lap. Elizabeth was intent on getting a good drunken look at his manhood.

...outside...

"She really cant control herself cans she?!" Sofia cried as she peered through the window of the pub.

"She is drunk!" Will explained.

"She is a trollop!"

"That too..." he decided not to agrivate Sofia any further. They both watched as Jack and Elizabeth wrestled to the floor. Jack seemed to be laughing while an extremely drunken Elizabeth fumbled and tore at his trousers.

"Looks like we've got to do something more drastic, Mr. Turner. Let's go to the ship and rehearse!"

---

Jack had finally gotten a hold of Elizabeth's arms and was dragging her back to the ship.

"Jack! Ouch! I say Jack—that hurts!" she was stumbling after him to keep up.

"If you'd stop trying t'molest me maybe you wouldn't get hurt."

"Well I can't help it! I want to see it and I always get what I want, Jack."

"Well then, that's no incentive for me to let you go." If they hadn't finally reached Will's ship he would've been tempted to leave her in some pub in Tortuga. She'd fit in fine—even if she wouldn't he didn't care.

Just as Jack thought the night could bring no more surprises he discovered the biggest one of all. There, in the master cabin, where only hours ago he'd thought that Will should find himself a new girl, lay Will Turner and Sofia de Madrid. On the floor. Wrapped in blankets. In each other's arms they slept. As far as he could tell neither of them wore clothes. They would have been picturesque. They would have been beautiful. They would have been 2 angels draped in white sheets holding each other. That's what they would have been had these 2 angels not been a man named Will Turner and a woman Jack called Sofia.

He slumped into a chair and just watched them sleep. Jack closed his eyes and almost fell into a drunken sleep...

"Hello Jack." It was her voice. She was so lovely as he opened his eyes... and then he remembered who lay next to her.

"'ello Sofia." He thought she was being rather calm for someone who was sitting naked on the floor, "would you mind tellin' me why exactly you stopped off to take a nude nap with me mate Will?" who still looked asleep.

"Well, you've had your fun with his little strumpet, so why shouldn't I have my own?" her answer was simple but made no sense to Jack.

"I haven't had any fun at all today so I don't know what makes you think you're entitled to any with Will." Jack was trying to keep his temper in check. It happened to be boiling in his head.

"oh really Jack? Because I'm sure Elizabeth might think differently!!" Sofia was not trying to keep her temper in anything but the open.

"What?!? Is this about her an' me goods?"

"SHE AND YOUR GOODS?!"

"she hasn't seen 'em or anythin', if that's what botherin' you."

"Now you're just being rude..."

"I'm bein' rude? I stayed loyal—which is more than I can say fer you." He seemed disgusted. What gave her the idea that he and Elizabeth... Jack didn't even want to think about it,

"Jack, I stayed true to you as well."

"Yes, and I suppose your clothes fell off while you were stayin' loyal and true to ol' Jackie." He was more than skeptical about the idea.

"No, you don't understand, we—Will, stop it and open your eyes--" Will laughed and pushed Sofia. They both seemed unusually comfortable for being naked under those sheets.

"It's true Jack. I never touched her. Sofia thought this whole thing up, she set everything up. Quite a clever one you got here. She reminds me some of Elizabeth." He smiled, "We were just teaching the both of you a lesson."

"Well you can lesson your bonnie lass all ye' want. I don't need no teachin'!" he answered looking very insulted.

"Good!" Sofia said as she got up clad in only a white blanket, bent over and gave Jack a peck at the tip of his nose, "then you can help us!"

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I hope no one's confused or anything. It took me a while to rephrase everything right so it wasn't strange. Review!

ps: what movie/book/anything should i write on next? i wish we cood write fics on queen of the damned n interview with the vampire :(