Gabbi: Oh! Gamgee~
Gamgee: This is gooood.. Sooo goood.
Gabbi: We are that good!
Gamgee: Well, here is our replies:
Dragonblade- I wouldn't exactly say "happy". It's more like. relieved.
Night Fox Hiten- Wahoo! Go Hiten-Chan! Lol! Thank you for the ovation!
Dancer of Falling Rain- Hey, a Gothic Kurama would be even enjoyable to me! LMAO. I am glad that someone is enjoying this fic. so far I am lucky and I don't have these "EWWWW! THIS IS SO SICK!! MY KURAMA!!" reviews yet.
Bluebell- Yep, that's me, the Goth Wanna-Be. Lucky =P
Kaya-Anna- LOL! Ooh! Good song, Kaya-Chan! I shall use it soon! Since this is named after a Linkin Park song, why not have TONS of LP songs in it?!
Wakajini no Shijo- YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC! It's okay! I didn't know who Switchfoot was at first myself! I would love to do Godsmack songs, they might work, but I don't know any. I think. do you have a few MP3s? What's probably going to happen is that you will give me the songs and I'll know them and yell "CRAP! THAT'S A GODSMACK SONG?!" That's what happened to me a Linkin Park. ; Don't say things about yourself like that! I am the pathetic one! You all know that!
Gabbi: There are so many Goths on FF.net. I wanna be one of them!
Gamgee: In your dreams XD
Gabbi: sigh. anyways. when we voted we got a landslide by P!nk's song! It was quite funny cuz I asked my editor and he said the song, too, and during Social Studies we sang it. lol
Let's go!
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Numb: I Can't Feel You There
Chapter 4: Discovery, Don't Let me Get Me, P!nk
***
~*Never win first place*~
It was shocking to see Hiei run into the waiting room, calling upon the rest of the team, considering it was him that never supported them as a team or friends.
~*I don't support the team*~
Mr. 'You are a team player, an everyday super hero, I hate people like you' was in need of help.
"Guys! Kurama woke up for a second!" Hiei yelled.
Yusuke and Kuwabara followed him to Kurama's room.
~*I can't take direction*~
'Kurama. you can do better than this.' Youko snarled.
'Leave me alone.' Kurama mumbled, laying on his bed, black hair and all.
'You have to listen to me. they are worried. and you know it.'
'Shut up.' Kurama growled.
~*and my socks are never
clean *~
'Kurama. you can't go and do this. besides. that outfit is really getting to me.'
Kurama darted an eye at him. 'I don't care.'
'Come on.' Youko walked over and started to pull off his socks.
'DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME,' Kurama snarled.
'Kurama.' Youko started.
~*Teachers dated me, my parents hated me
I was always in a fight cuz I can't do nothin'
right *~
'NO!' Kurama screamed. 'BECAUSE OF YOU, EVERYONE WANTS ME! MY TEACHERS, MY FRIENDS, MY CLASSMATES, EVERYONE! NO WONDER I ALWAYS FIGHT FOR THE REIKAI TATEI! I AM SO GOD DAMN FRUSTERATED! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!"
Youko's eyebrows knotted. 'You know that you are lying.'
'So are you acting like you care.' Kurama snarled.
Youko sighed.
~*Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself*~
'I can't stand it! Every time I look in a mirror, I don't see me, I just see a cold, selfish, killer. Not human, not demon, just a killer. Do you know how much that hurts? I can't stand it! No wonder I punched that mirror! I can't stand looking at myself! I hate myself!! I HATE MYSELF!!'
'You're a hazard.' Youko whispered.
'EXACTLY!' Kurama hollered.
Youko shook his head. This was hopeless.
~*Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself*~
'You don't get it,' Kurama whispered, crying hard. 'You don't know how sick it is to hate to see yourself as your worst enemy. I am annoyed by myself. And it's your fault.'
'Kurama, I am.'
'Just shut up.' Kurama wrapped the lace around his sides. 'I'm leaving.'
Youko held his head. 'This is all my fault.'
~*So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else*~
'I need to change.' Kurama said as he slipped down the hallway. 'I need to throw myself away and change. and then die sooner or later. that would be great. a perfect life.'
~*I wanna be somebody else, yeah*~
Kurama opened his eyes in the hospital again.
"Kurama! You are awake!" everyone yelled.
Kurama nodded. "Yeah. for now."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Within days, Kurama came home, his arm wrapped in bandages. He was slightly touched by a rack of a thousand paper cranes and many get well cards and flowers.
"The girls kept coming! It never ended!" Shiori said, trying to be normal. She wanted to not act at all like something was wrong.
~^FLASHBACK^~"Mrs. Minamino?" the doctors asked.
"What?" Shiori asked.
"I suggest that your son goes for therapy."
"What? You mean physical therapy? That is understanding."
"No. not that kind. I mean. mental. therapy. or something. Mrs. Minamino, if I am not mistaken, I'd think he is in a sever depression."
"What can I do until then?"
"I suggest giving him a purpose. I have seen so many self-inflicted wounds, I probably could go for a physiatrist degree."
~^END FLASHBACK^~ ~*LA told me, "You'll be a pop star,
All you have to change is everything you are."*~
Hiei was struggling with a story on the computer, Kurama laid on his bed.
Hiei tried to understand the kanji and he just couldn't.
Kurama got up, sighing, and looked over. "Hiei. what are you reading?"
"It's a story. it's called The Price of.Stardom[1]?" Hiei asked.
"Yeah, that's right." Kurama said. "Stardom. Like a pop star."
"You could become a pop star," Hiei said. "But of course, you'd have to change everything that you are."
Kurama smiled. "I was considering changing."
"Naze?" Hiei looked at him with big eyes.
"I just think that it'd be good."
"Kurama, you're good the way you are. my Gods. they are serious. you are."
"What now?" Kurama asked.
"I heard you are depressed. That's all," Hiei snarled, continuing his reading.
~*Tired of being compared to damn Britney Spears
She's so pretty, that just ain't me*~
"Hiei, people compare me to movie stars and singers and I am sick of it," Kurama answered, hinting irritability in his voice.
"I know, I hear," Hiei grunted, reading.
Kurama sighed. "Then this is the end of this conversation."
Hiei stared at him for a second and disappeared.
Kurama went back to his bed and cried.
~*Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe
somethin
A day in the life of someone else?*~
"I want to be like him. he can just leave and no one will care. except maybe one or two. it makes it so much easier.
He got up and went to the bathroom.
~*Cuz I'm a hazard to myself*~
He quickly closed the door and swung around to the empty space where the mirror was. He leaned forward, seeing the slight sliver of the mirror still left. He touched it.
"Shit!" Kurama yelled.
The blood started to gush out of his finger.
He sucked the wound out of reaction. "Damn."
The salty taste stayed on his tongue for a few seconds.
"Mmm." he moaned slightly. "Hey, this isn't as bad as I thought."
He stared at his finger, which was red now.
~*Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself *~
"Gahh." Kurama shook his head. "No. I won't get tempted like that."
He picked up a piece of glass and looked at his cheek.
He took the sliver and put it by his skin.
He could hear Youko begging him not to do it.
"Make up your mind! Are you on my side or not?!" he screamed.
Youko's voice disappeared.
Out of anger and just black revenge, he slashed his cheek.
With instant results, the parted skin allowed blood leak from the wound.
It wasn't too deep, mainly because he only wanted it as a warning.
He stopped the bleeding quickly, afraid that more suspicion would arise from the wound and bandaged it.
He bolted out of the bathroom and back to his room.
~*So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else*~
He looked through his closet and pulled out a black tank and black pants.
He changed into them and put on his pair of black boots.
He then sat down on his bed and laid back.
"This is not so bad." Kurama said, closing his eyes. "If I can't go into my unconscious mind. I can go here and have a taste of it."
He got up again. "I wonder."
He started to pull off all his things on the nightstand by his bed and then picked up a bottle of black nail polish he had been keeping from a costume party a year ago. He started to paint his nails the black polish, not caring if it stained his bed sheets.
~*Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself*~
He sniffed the paint, briefly allowing the strong scent make him almost high for a moment.
He looked around, in hope there was dye, too.
But there wasn't.
He groaned and started to get some money to buy black dye.
He glanced at a small picture on his dresser of him and Yusuke, Hiei, and Kuwabara.
How happy he used to be just by the presence of friends.
"Like that'll ever happen again." he snorted, throwing the frame in the garbage. He heard the fake-glass crack when it hit the pail.
~*So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else*~
He started to leave the house, when his mother caught him.
"What. what are you wearing?"
"Nothing. I am just going out for awhile." Kurama said.
"Please be careful." Shiori pleaded. She didn't want to lose him.
~*Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe
somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Don't let me get me*~
He slammed the door, and gave the window the middle finger.
He left without a care.
All he wanted was to change.
(A/N: He pulled a Yusuke! LOL!)
~*Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else*~
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Gabbi: So Kurama finally really cut himself.
Gamgee: Awright! And Blink 182 is on! Yay!
Gabbi: Please review! I love this!
NEXT SONG: I am doing so far. umm. lesse. I might do a Good Charlotte Song. yeah. I really wanna do one. maybe, maybe not. or maybe. even. Someday by Nickelback. I am not sure yet. Please request ones and ideas in your reviews!!!