Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Voyager characters. You should know that
Paramount Pictures does, and that this is a simple mockery of them. Well
not totally, I'm just having a little fun. Please note that this is a spin-
off type show from The Charmed Show!! by my friend Katie. Please just take
this all in fun, nothing is meant to be serious. Thank you and enjoy the
show!
Kath: So you're telling me that Bob said that Jenny told him that Eric said he would like Jane to say she wants to kill Mary for saying she loves Mark??
Katie: Yes... I think...
Audience: O_o....
Kath: Oh right... the show... right, right...
Katie: Righto!
Kath: Rightie!
Katie: That's not a word...
Kath: Neither is righto, but you don't hear me complaining.
Big Guy: *comes over and taps Kath's shoulder* *whispers something*
Kath: Oh right... the show...
*Big doors open and two very muscular men come out dragging Janeway*
Katie: Welcome to the Voyager Show!!!
Kath: New and improved with 3 exclamation marks!
Janeway: Can't I just stay with the two very muscular men? And isn't Voyager technically my show? Where is your copyright law? Why am even here?
Kath: Wow, you are one angry chick.
Katie: Would you like some coffee?
Janeway: Oh my God, NO!
Kath: But don't you just LOVE coffee?
Katie: I DO!!
Kath: Not you, you twit!
Katie: Oh.
Janeway: I am forced to drink like 10 cups of coffee a day just to keep my brain... wait a second... aren't I supposed to be in the Delta Quadrant?? Kath: Right. about that. you see we've kidnap- we've borrowed you temporarily to do a quick little interview.
Katie: Yeah, borrowed you...
Janeway: ... Oh, I see.
Audience member: They lie!
Katie: Guards! Shoot him!
Rest of Audience: Uh... Yay truth tellers!
Kath: That's more like it. Now moving along anyways...
Katie: I though we were supposed to be interviewing the cast of Charmed... (A/N: The Charmed Show!! by Katie)
Janeway: Charmed?
Kath: Oh my, gosh... this is SO not moving on... this is like... a step backwards. *Whacks Katie with a feather duster*
Katie: *grabs feather duster* Okay then Kath, time for your medicine... *Anger Management Man comes in and whacks Kath over the head with an inflatable baseball bat*
Kath: Aaahhh!! Noooo!!
Janeway: Oh my God, you're demented humanoid aliens!
Katie: So we're told, but onto that interview. Tell me Old Wise Janeway, what is it really like in the Delta Quadrant?
Kath: Did you just say-
Janeway: OLD? How dare you!
Kath: Is there a gas leak in here?
Janeway: I'll kill you both after this... ordeal... but the Delta Quadrant, right. *Counter pops out of nowhere with the word 'Right and its Various Forms' and underneath it the number 7 that flips to 8 with a ding*
Katie: Whoa, where did that come from?
Kath: Just let her answer for the love of all that is urple!
Janeway: Urple?
Katie: The Delta Quadrant!!
Janeway: Oh right... *8 turns to 9 with a ding* The Delta Quadrant isn't so bad really. It's really nice and cozy until you hit an alien road bump or something along those lines. Planets, natural anomalies, asteroids, but mostly aliens, you know?
Kath: No, but okay! Next question! How did you truly feel that one time that Tuvok got a phaser and pointed it straight at you just to show he was loyal to the Maquis, but then it shorted out just as he pulled the trigger on you??
Katie: And I thought I liked coffee...
Janeway: Well I was extremely disheartened and indeed very hurt, but we made up over a nice Jabalian Blue Fudge Cake.
Katie: A WHOLE cake?
Janeway: Are you saying I'm fat now??
Katie: ... noooo, of course not... that would be very bad right now...
Kath: Indeed.
Katie: NEXT QUESTION!!
Janeway: Wow, you are quite a loud one. Are you saying I'm deaf???
Katie: NO!
Kath: She's just being loud and obnoxious. Nothing unusual.
Katie: That really hurt. I'm going to hurt you after this is all over.
Kath: Uh... okay?
Katie: So, Janeway. Tell me this. Why did you ever let Chakotay get away with that stupid Borg drone in the end? It seems that one time that you were forced to abandon ship because of some weird contagious virus showed that he really liked you by building you that bathtub. Oh, and if you were on an abandoned planet and going to supposedly die in the end, why in the heck were you bathing anyways?
Janeway: Well Chakotay and I did have our fun behind the curtains, but it was nothing serious. A few private conference dinners when I would burn the roast. I really liked him, but he seemed to be the more blonde-bimbo-metal- chick-loving kinda guy. The reason I bathed was because I do keep my morals, and smelling is definitely against them.
Kath: You have morals against smelling? You really have way too many rules, regulations and protocols you know?
Janeway: Yes. Yes I do.
Kath: That's... nice.
Janeway: Really, it is rather nice.
Katie: Okay, this is getting really, really, really informal.
Kath: Really, really?
Katie: Really, really.
Kath: Wait... is this EVER a formal show?
Katie: Yes!.... wait... noooo...
Janeway: Can I please leave now? I really should be getting back to the Delta Quadrant to do some more exploring, discovering, helping-lost-people- including-myself-get-home, and such.
Kath: One last question. Will Harry ever be promoted to Lieutenant? *Behind curtain Harry gives a thumbs up*
Janeway: Did he tell you to ask that?
Kath: Uh... no?
Janeway: Well to be honest, he has been a very good little doggie, but we've simply... run out of pips.
Katie: Right... *9 dings to 10*
Kath: Well there was that time that you promoted Tom back to Lieutenant. You know, after demoting him to Ensign, and then the little box on his seat thing. Plus, wouldn't you just go replicate it?
Janeway: ... heh...
Kath: I thought so...
Janeway: *eyes combadge* How long has that been there?
Katie: The whole show?
Janeway: *whacks hand on forehead* NOW you tell me. *taps combadge* Janeway to Voyager. One to beam up. *nothing happens* Ehem, Janeway to Voyager! ONE TO BEAM UP. NOW.
Kath: Oh you see, there happens to be a dampening field-like thing around the tree hou-studio.
Janeway: Were you going to say tree house?
Kath: Nooooooo... of course not.
Janeway: Right. *10 dings to 11*
Kath: Well that seems like all the time we have.
Katie: Aww! I liked this interview.
Janeway: What? Did you say I was old again??? Pencils down!!! *jumps out of seat and leaps on Katie with the inflatable bat that was left lying around*
Katie: AHHHH!!!
Kath: I think this show is now going to be shown on Pay-Per-View. But until next time, we're out of here. *jumps on fighting mass and tries to peel Janeway off of Katie* *whole audience comes down and tackles all* Well that certainly wasn't in the original plan.
Hot dog man: Hot dogs! Hot dogs! 50 cents! *whole audience charges towards hot dog man* AHHHHH!!!!
Janeway: *sits up* I doubt we've seen the last of them.
Kath: So you're telling me that Bob said that Jenny told him that Eric said he would like Jane to say she wants to kill Mary for saying she loves Mark??
Katie: Yes... I think...
Audience: O_o....
Kath: Oh right... the show... right, right...
Katie: Righto!
Kath: Rightie!
Katie: That's not a word...
Kath: Neither is righto, but you don't hear me complaining.
Big Guy: *comes over and taps Kath's shoulder* *whispers something*
Kath: Oh right... the show...
*Big doors open and two very muscular men come out dragging Janeway*
Katie: Welcome to the Voyager Show!!!
Kath: New and improved with 3 exclamation marks!
Janeway: Can't I just stay with the two very muscular men? And isn't Voyager technically my show? Where is your copyright law? Why am even here?
Kath: Wow, you are one angry chick.
Katie: Would you like some coffee?
Janeway: Oh my God, NO!
Kath: But don't you just LOVE coffee?
Katie: I DO!!
Kath: Not you, you twit!
Katie: Oh.
Janeway: I am forced to drink like 10 cups of coffee a day just to keep my brain... wait a second... aren't I supposed to be in the Delta Quadrant?? Kath: Right. about that. you see we've kidnap- we've borrowed you temporarily to do a quick little interview.
Katie: Yeah, borrowed you...
Janeway: ... Oh, I see.
Audience member: They lie!
Katie: Guards! Shoot him!
Rest of Audience: Uh... Yay truth tellers!
Kath: That's more like it. Now moving along anyways...
Katie: I though we were supposed to be interviewing the cast of Charmed... (A/N: The Charmed Show!! by Katie)
Janeway: Charmed?
Kath: Oh my, gosh... this is SO not moving on... this is like... a step backwards. *Whacks Katie with a feather duster*
Katie: *grabs feather duster* Okay then Kath, time for your medicine... *Anger Management Man comes in and whacks Kath over the head with an inflatable baseball bat*
Kath: Aaahhh!! Noooo!!
Janeway: Oh my God, you're demented humanoid aliens!
Katie: So we're told, but onto that interview. Tell me Old Wise Janeway, what is it really like in the Delta Quadrant?
Kath: Did you just say-
Janeway: OLD? How dare you!
Kath: Is there a gas leak in here?
Janeway: I'll kill you both after this... ordeal... but the Delta Quadrant, right. *Counter pops out of nowhere with the word 'Right and its Various Forms' and underneath it the number 7 that flips to 8 with a ding*
Katie: Whoa, where did that come from?
Kath: Just let her answer for the love of all that is urple!
Janeway: Urple?
Katie: The Delta Quadrant!!
Janeway: Oh right... *8 turns to 9 with a ding* The Delta Quadrant isn't so bad really. It's really nice and cozy until you hit an alien road bump or something along those lines. Planets, natural anomalies, asteroids, but mostly aliens, you know?
Kath: No, but okay! Next question! How did you truly feel that one time that Tuvok got a phaser and pointed it straight at you just to show he was loyal to the Maquis, but then it shorted out just as he pulled the trigger on you??
Katie: And I thought I liked coffee...
Janeway: Well I was extremely disheartened and indeed very hurt, but we made up over a nice Jabalian Blue Fudge Cake.
Katie: A WHOLE cake?
Janeway: Are you saying I'm fat now??
Katie: ... noooo, of course not... that would be very bad right now...
Kath: Indeed.
Katie: NEXT QUESTION!!
Janeway: Wow, you are quite a loud one. Are you saying I'm deaf???
Katie: NO!
Kath: She's just being loud and obnoxious. Nothing unusual.
Katie: That really hurt. I'm going to hurt you after this is all over.
Kath: Uh... okay?
Katie: So, Janeway. Tell me this. Why did you ever let Chakotay get away with that stupid Borg drone in the end? It seems that one time that you were forced to abandon ship because of some weird contagious virus showed that he really liked you by building you that bathtub. Oh, and if you were on an abandoned planet and going to supposedly die in the end, why in the heck were you bathing anyways?
Janeway: Well Chakotay and I did have our fun behind the curtains, but it was nothing serious. A few private conference dinners when I would burn the roast. I really liked him, but he seemed to be the more blonde-bimbo-metal- chick-loving kinda guy. The reason I bathed was because I do keep my morals, and smelling is definitely against them.
Kath: You have morals against smelling? You really have way too many rules, regulations and protocols you know?
Janeway: Yes. Yes I do.
Kath: That's... nice.
Janeway: Really, it is rather nice.
Katie: Okay, this is getting really, really, really informal.
Kath: Really, really?
Katie: Really, really.
Kath: Wait... is this EVER a formal show?
Katie: Yes!.... wait... noooo...
Janeway: Can I please leave now? I really should be getting back to the Delta Quadrant to do some more exploring, discovering, helping-lost-people- including-myself-get-home, and such.
Kath: One last question. Will Harry ever be promoted to Lieutenant? *Behind curtain Harry gives a thumbs up*
Janeway: Did he tell you to ask that?
Kath: Uh... no?
Janeway: Well to be honest, he has been a very good little doggie, but we've simply... run out of pips.
Katie: Right... *9 dings to 10*
Kath: Well there was that time that you promoted Tom back to Lieutenant. You know, after demoting him to Ensign, and then the little box on his seat thing. Plus, wouldn't you just go replicate it?
Janeway: ... heh...
Kath: I thought so...
Janeway: *eyes combadge* How long has that been there?
Katie: The whole show?
Janeway: *whacks hand on forehead* NOW you tell me. *taps combadge* Janeway to Voyager. One to beam up. *nothing happens* Ehem, Janeway to Voyager! ONE TO BEAM UP. NOW.
Kath: Oh you see, there happens to be a dampening field-like thing around the tree hou-studio.
Janeway: Were you going to say tree house?
Kath: Nooooooo... of course not.
Janeway: Right. *10 dings to 11*
Kath: Well that seems like all the time we have.
Katie: Aww! I liked this interview.
Janeway: What? Did you say I was old again??? Pencils down!!! *jumps out of seat and leaps on Katie with the inflatable bat that was left lying around*
Katie: AHHHH!!!
Kath: I think this show is now going to be shown on Pay-Per-View. But until next time, we're out of here. *jumps on fighting mass and tries to peel Janeway off of Katie* *whole audience comes down and tackles all* Well that certainly wasn't in the original plan.
Hot dog man: Hot dogs! Hot dogs! 50 cents! *whole audience charges towards hot dog man* AHHHHH!!!!
Janeway: *sits up* I doubt we've seen the last of them.