Harry Potter and the Snitch of DOOM

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"HOLY CRAP!!" Shouted Harry as a bludger whizzed by. "A bludger just whizzed by!!"

From the stands Hermione watched Harry fly in his Man Vs. Self conflict flight to catch the snitch.

"The snitch is an allegory for our desires," she told Ron and Hagrid excitedly.

"Really?" Asked Hagrid distractedly.

He wasn't really listening to Hermione.

I mean, who could with a MAD AWESOME QUIDDITCH GAME going on RIGHT in front of them??

Harry swerved around the goal posts, missing them narrowly. An appreciative "Ooooh" came from the crowd. Wondering if he could get a similar reaction by almost colliding with someone, Harry aimed for Oliver Wood.

"Bloody hell, Harry, what are you doing?!?!" Screamed wood as Harry advanced.

Harry grinned to himself, and dived just before impact.

But wood had dived down too!

SHMOOCKKKK!!!

They collided!

"The collision shows us the savageness of Harry" Exclaimed Ron excitedly!!

"..." said Hermione.

Hagrid, representing the stupid people of the world, asked, "How can you get this from a Quidditch game?"

"It's so obvious, Hagrid," answered Ron.

He was just starting to explain when suddenly Harry flew into him.

"Harry!" Ron said. "What'd you do that for?"

"Because there is nobody that can stop me: I'm testing the boundaries of society foreshadowing death and complete savageness."

"I got the conch," chimed Hagrid

"No one cares, Hagrid!" shouted Ron and Hermione at the same time.

Harry flew off again to seek the snitch

"Hmph," said Hagrid getting grumpy.

Suddenly, Harry caught the snitch and he prepared to do a victory lap around the fi--VOOSH!!!

A NINJA suddenly appeared!!

He stole the snitch from Harry, and VOOSHed away, cackling!!!

"NO!" exclaimed Harry, distraught.

"Hm... well, since you obviously don't have the snitch anymore, I think we won the game!!!" Said Malfoy landing his broom next to Harry's.

"That's right!!" Said Snape gleefully.

"Die, Snape!!" Said Harry, pulling out his wand.

"No," Said Snape, whipping out his own and cursing Harry into a zillion billion pieces.

Now, this ninja wasn't just a ninja...

He was Zoot!!

Above all ninjas!!

But since Zoot was a good ninja, he told Malfoy that they hadn't won.

"Ha, Malfoy," said Harry. "You lose."

"No," said Zoot. "You have to fight me for the snitch."

"OK," Said Harry and Malfoy together.

"Potter, I don't wanna do this but Zoot is an awesome powerful ninja." Said Malfoy. "I can't beat him alone. Let's team up."

"Fine," said Harry.

POW!! BAM!! Went Harry and Malfoy across the pitch.

And they died.

THE END

A/N: Yes, Harry did blow into a zillion billion pieces and then said something 5 lines later. Well you know what? While we were describing Zoot, Ron and Hermione came down and taped Harry back together with Spell-o-Tape!! Ha! Review! :)