Pre-show thank you goes out to NO ONE. Because all of you meanie readers left me NO new comments. How RUDE... Okay, enough bashing, because I'll never get a review again, so I should stop while I'm ahead. Disclaimer applies, yata yata. You know the drill.
Katie: O ie, o ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang!
Kath: O ie, o ah ah ting tang walla walla bang bang!
Katie: Wow, the EMH's diagnosis karaoke CD IS fun...
Kath: Why did you ever doubt me?
Katie: Or better yet, why would I trust you?
Kath: True...
Very Muscular Man #1: Welcome to the Voyager Show!!! New and improved with three exclamation marks!
Kath: -glares- You are SO fired.
Very Muscular Man #1: -sulks out of room-
Katie: How sad... I always had a special place in my heart for very muscular man number one...
Kath: Ah well, I guess he could stay then... He is fun to play checkers with.
B'Elanna: -off set- Get OFF of me, you creepy bastard!
Katie: -gasp- I didn't know Tom Paris was here!
Kath: He isn't. -falls limp; snores-
Katie: Darn narcolepsy has hit her again...
-Short Awkward Silence-
Katie: Well since I'm on my own for the moment, let me introduce-
Kath: B'ELANNA TORRES!!
Katie: Whoa there tiger. Lay off the Easy Mac.
Kath: My Easy Mac, mine!! -growls and eats random bowl of EM-
Very muscular man #1 and #2 drag B'Elanna out onto the set.
B'Elanna: I said OFF!! -stamps VMM #1's toe, elbows #2 with loose arm, kicks #1 in the stomach and puts #2 in a headlock-
Katie & Kath: -utter horrified shock-
B'Elanna: -sits down sweetly- Good day.
Katie & Kath: -shock-
B'Elanna: What, do I have blood on my face?
Katie & Kath: ... AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
B'Elanna: You vaguely remind me of Chakotay when I joined the Maquis. He didn't seem to like my Cardassian head for a hat.
Katie: -whispers to Kath- Oh MY god!! We're going to die! I mean, one wrong question, and it's our heads on the next hat!
Kath: -clears throat and sits up, smiling nervously- So, B'Elanna, hi.. that is, if I can call you B'Elanna, B'Elanna?
B'Elanna: -nonchalantly- Sure, whatever. I'm just here for some relief. Too much time -under the warp core seems to have built up a lot of tension. -cracks neck-
Katie & Kath: -whimper-
Kath: -whispers to Katie- You ask the first question.
Katie: -whispers back- I ALWAYS ask the first question!
Kath: -still whispering- Well then stick to tradition!
B'Elanna: Hello? I'm sitting RIGHT here!
Katie & Kath: -uneasily- We know… -looks over at unmoving very muscular men-
Katie: -cautiously reads card- So, Miss Torres, how are you and Tom doing, now that you have a baby in the quarters?
B'Elanna: Oh, we've seen better days. Though Miral is as cute as a bug, I mean, I could just squeeze her until she can't breathe!
Kath: -nervous/hesitant laugh- How.. darling.
Katie: -trying to not cry- Well... do you and Tom sleep through the night without any Klingon calls? -cowers at the small attempt at a joke-
B'Elanna: -laughs lightly- There are the few occasions, but she seems to be sleeping through the night well. She enjoys Harry's CD of clarinet lullabies.
Kath: -loosening up- Interesting. So do you think she'll develop a musical talent, say like Harry?
B'Elanna: God I hope not. I can't stand Harry's music.
Harry: -backstage- -look of hurt-
Katie: Eh.. -tries to avoid Harry's crying that is clearly heard- I've been wondering. When did you forgive Janeway for her decision that stranded you all in the DQ?
Kath: -in thoughts- Mmmm… DQ….
B'Elanna: Along the way, she made some other well judged decisions. I forgave her mostly because she saved my life a lot. We tend to get in those situations easily.
Kath: -aloud, though dazed- Reese's Blizzard…
Katie, B'Elanna & Audience: -blank, questioning stare-
Kath: Uh... -snore-
Katie: That's more like it. Now I can run things like I've always wanted to! From the host's chair! -kicks Kath out of her seat- -Kath falls limp on top of VMM pile- -Katie sits in Kath's seat- Wow, as satisfying as I thought this would feel... I feel strangely empty.
-collective sympathy 'Aww...'-
Katie: -strangely looks at audience- Since when do you care how we feel?
Man in Audience: Ever since we heard BLT here is going to whoop some ass.
B'Elanna: -cracks knuckles- Whose ass? Your ass? –points to Katie-
Katie: NO! -grabs pet donkey and holds it closely-
B'Elanna: Oh I'm just kidding. You're not paying me to be here, so I wouldn't want to kill anyone underpaid.
Katie: -nervous laugh- Right... -kicks Kath- Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up-
Kath: B'ELANNA TORRES!!
B'Elanna: .. Yes?
Kath: AHHH!!
Katie: Never mind, I was doing better without your "help".
Kath: -snore-
B'Elanna: Is it always so.. odd around here?
Katie: Boy is it ever! Anyways, back to the questions.
B'Elanna: How many more are there?
Katie: As many as I want.
Kath: Only two. -snore-
Katie: ... okay, so no one gave us any questions for you, big deal.
B'Elanna: What? WHAT?
Katie: Blame the viewers, not us.
Kath: Actually, just blame Katie.
Katie: -through gritted teeth- NOT. HELPING.
Kath: -snore-
Katie: Okay, question..
Kath: NARF!
Katie: WHEN DID.. you first realize Tom was 'the one'?
B'Elanna: Well after I told him I loved him, and we almost died in space together... I'd say we had a special bond.
Kath: Well you didn't have baby lizard beings with him, DID you now?
Katie: When did you wake up?
B'Elanna: Hey, it was flyboy's idea to kidnap the Captain for that experiment ordeal. I just.. was busy in Engineering.
Kath: Yeah, aren't we all?
Katie: .. Actually.. no.. we aren't...
Kath: Oh, yeah, the other question. The last question.
Katie: Why are you rushing things? Don't we need a few lines of us getting off topic?
Kath: Everyone in the Maquis had a cause. You seemed to have joined for no reason really, and I was curious as to why you would join a blood-thirsty Cardassian war where you obliterated millions of angry alien men?
B'Elanna: ....
Kath: You're right. That is kind of obvious.
Katie: Well it could have been a great dental plan that kept her going.
Kath: Do mongrels need braces?
B'Elanna: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Kath: Sorry dear, I wasn't speaking to you.
B'Elanna: Bring it!!
Janeway: It's already been brought!
Katie: -screech- I'm out of here, this is going to get nasty.
Kath: Aww, come on, 'fraidy waidy cat!
Katie: -high tails it out of there-
Kath: Well fine! This will be MY show then! -falls limp onto the floor as Janeway and Torres start wrestling in a random nearby mud pit that seems to fit the scene- -snores-
-----------------------------------
Next time it's Paris! Tom that is!
Tom: -making out with B'Elanna-
Okay... hopefully... okay, ew get a room you two. ... Seriously, get out of my tree house.. studio..