HeyGabbi: Wow… I am amazed how this fic is really… well… making people think… I am very happy… I am very glad that you care…
Kurama: *laughs* I think there's a Kuroibara fanclub…
Gabbi: C-Kun thought it was a way of spelling Kuwabara… I had to draw him and show him… I really like him… hmm…
Kurama: Hey, where's you alter egos?
Gabbi: They are playing ROTK… trying to save Frodo again… they think that 3 heads are better than 1… but I have been trying so hard and the fruits of my labor are nothing… if I was to be timed, Frodo would be dead… hey, does anyone know how to beat Cirith Ungol… if you have any idea, please let me know!
Gamgee X: *screaming* NOOOO~ I KILLED DADDY AGAIN!
Lunamercury- Please understand that that is the point of the fic. Kurama is stuck in a world of cutting himself.
Rogue- I can relate. Everyone calls me a Goth, but I don't consider myself one. Yes, I have black nailpolish… my writing has been called Gothic… I wear black all the time… but I don't consider myself a Goth… I still wear other colors… but most are dark… I am not one to stereotype myself… I just figured that saying "Well, Kurama's pretty much Gothic, here's another Goth" gave it more clarity… this whole fic I was thinking "Shit, I hope no one gets the wrong idea from this fic…" I mean, I am so glad that the Goths that read it didn't get on my case or nothing… I am glad they don't… I am really glad… course; these people told me they were Gothic… I don't know better…
Dancer of Falling Rain- O.o; Wow… you are really into this, aren't you? I am so glad…
Ghosty and Demo- I think this fic can relate to everyone. We have all been through a time we lost someone… we all had a time that we hated ourselves… we always doubted ourselves. But I shall save your e-mail address and stuff! I can give you spoilers XD
Allie- YES! GO KURAMA TORTURE!!!
Johanna Gen- You made me reread my fic! I guess it was pretty emotional… but thanks sooo much! I love these deep comments!
Oh, and the person that reviewed Haunted and told me to admit that I hate Kurama, please stop reading my fanfics, or talk to my Kurama shrine.
That's all! Here's the next chapter!
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Numb: I Can't Feel You There
Chapter 8: Memories, Story of the Year, Until the Day I Die
***
~*Until the Day I die,
I'll spill my Heart for you, for you*~
"Don't you dare give me that shit, Shuichi," Kuroibara snarled, suddenly changing his personality. It was like a new person took him over. "Don't you dare do that shit. Don't you dare."
"What are you going to do about it?" Kurama smiled.
"This," Kuroibara said as he walked over and wrapped his finger's around his neck.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Kurama screamed.
"So you really want to die?" Kuroibara asked. "Are you sure?"
Kurama panicked. This was not the same Kuroibara that was just concerned about him!
~*Until the day I die,
I'll spill my heart for you*~
"What are you doing?!" Kurama screamed.
"Answer me, Shuichi, do you want to die?" Kuroibara looked at him, emotionless.
"I do… but…"
"Death is forever."
"No! It's not!"
"That so?"
"Yes!"
"How so?"
"I… I cheated it… now I want to repay my debt… I want to die… but not by your innocent hands, Kuroibara… not by yours… you have hope… I don't!"
Kuroibara let go of his neck. "I see. I thought so."
He sat down. "I am sorry that I scared you."
"You didn't scare me… you just… shocked me… what happened?"
"I was just thinking about the time that… no… you don't want to hear that story… it's too much like yours…"
"Tell me."
~*As years go by,
I raced the clock with you*~
Kuroibara took his scarred arms and thin hands and brought them to his face and hair. "I wasn't always like this… honest… I had a family… and a younger sister… my God… I love my little sister… her name was Lily-Anne… I loved her so much that… I thought I could never lose her… I was stupid… she was a rat running on a wheel… she was going to stop and fall in place…"
Kurama watched as he saw a tear form in Kuroiibara's eyes.
"Lily-Anne… she was an angel… she was my mother and father's favorite… they hated me, but because Lily-Anne and me were so close, they didn't do anything to her."
Kurama was really interested now. Favorites…
~*But you know that if you died,
I'd die too*~
"Lily-Anne got sick…" Kuroibara whispered. "She got really sick… and no one knew why… and no one would get help… and no one would listen… and I couldn't see her… for the 6 months she was sick… she died… I couldn't go to her wake, I couldn't go to her funeral… I couldn't bring myself to do it… they later found out that she had cancer… cancer! Shuichi, they could've saved her! She could've lived!"
Kurama stared at him. "Kuroibara… you couldn't help her… you were yet a child… you couldn't and you know it…
"How can you be sure, Shuichi?" Kuroibara sobbed, suddenly having tears in his eyes. "I promised to be with her no matter what! I made an oath! And now if it broken… like all the other promises I made to her… I told her that no matter what I would protect her… and look what happened! I am worthless and I did nothing to save her! Do you know how horrible it feels to be worthless? You were always cared of by the women at our school… people loved you… and now here you are… wanting to die… guess what, Shuichi? There is always a better man. There is always a man in worse condition… there always is… so I try not to pity myself… but you just sink in it…"
Kurama stared at him. "Kuroibara…"
~*I'd die too*~
"I live so I can see her again… so I can piss my parents off… so I can show the world I am no pussy! I am no person that backs out! And yet, you, who I always thought was strong, want to die. Guess what, we all do. That's life. People succeed, but do you think they are happy? No. They are rotting in Hell… where they belong… do you really want to be like that, Shuichi? Do you really want to rot in Hell?"
"…Yes…" Kurama whispered in a tiny voice. "Yes… I want to…"
~*You remind me of the times I knew who I was (I was)*~
Kuroibara shook his head.
"I used to think like you, Kuroibara… honest, I did… I lived for the sake of time… I didn't care what happened… I just lived… and if I died… I guess that would be it… I'd just take things as they came… but I can't stand it anymore…"
~*But still the second hand will catch us,
Like it always does*~
The clock ticked.
Kurama turned to it. It was well over 3:00.
"And we have school…" Kuroibara sighed. "Doesn't matter… I don't need sleep…"
Kurama looked at the room and everything. He saw the destruction he had caused.... he felt remorse for what he did… just because Kuroibara took him in, didn't mean that he had to get into this.
Kuroibara started to pick out the forks and knives from the walls. He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. "You got good aim…"
Kurama looked at him. "Stop… please… I'll clean it up… really…"
"Nah," Kuroibara said. "Go to sleep…"
"No," Kurama said quietly.
"Please?"
"No."
"Fine… insomniac…"
~*We'll make the same mistakes,
I'll take the fall for you*~
Kurama started to shakily clean up. He chipped off the dried blood on the knives, and tried to salvage the picture that had fallen. He sniffed away what he thought could be tears. It was a little girl that he assumed was Lily-Anne.
He looked at Kuroibara, who was working hard.
"I'm sorry…" he whispered.
~*I hope you need this now,,
Cause I know I do*~
Kurama handed him the picture. "Here. I figured that you'd want this…"
Kuroibara took the picture. "Thanks."
"I'm sorry… I didn't know… I didn't know…"
"It's fine…"
~*Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I spill my heart for you*~
"Kuroibara…"
"Yes?"
"If… if you want to… if you want me to help you meet Lily-Anne… I can help you…"
"I am sorry, Shuichi, I don't believe killing me will solve much."
"I don't… I mean…"
Kurama wanted to help him. Kuroibara was a nice kid. His story was sad and he wanted to help somehow… it could only mean Koenma… he didn't care… he wanted Kuroibara to be happy, so when he died, at least he wouldn't be miserable.
(A/N: I am listening to I Miss You… what's the name of the guitarist of that band again?! He's hot!)
~*Until the Day I die (Until the Day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you*~
Kurama looked at Kuroibara. "I want to help you… really…"
"Please… don't… you need help…"
Kurama nodded.
~*Should I bite my tongue?
Until the blood soaks my shirt*~
Kurama helped pick up the shards of glass. Some of them even pricked him. But he didn't care… he accidentally (of course, we can't be sure) bit his tongue.
He felt some blood on the corner of his neck. He sighed.
~*We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much?*~
He wiped the blood away. He had an image of Kuroibara slashed and burned. Entirely mutilated. "What am I doing?!"
~*My hands are around your neck,
And I think that I hate you*~
Kurama ran to Kuroibara. "WHY AM I DOING THIS?!"
He started to choke him. "WHY?!"
"SHUICHI!" Kuroibara gasped. "LEMME GO!"
Kurama stared at him. "Why do I act like this, why?! Why did Hiei die, Kuroibara?! Why did he die?!"
~*But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do*~
"Because he probably didn't want to see you like this! He loved you too much to see you in pain! Now I really think that your friendship was more than just good friends! Shuichi! Please! Let go of my neck!"
Kurama screamed. The shards of glass on his fingertips dug into Kuroibara's sensitive skin on his neck. "Oh Inari! No!"
He quickly
let go. "No!"
~*Until the Day I die (Until the Day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you*~
"Kuroibara! Are you okay?! Please be okay!" Kurama gasped.
"I'm… I'm fine…" Kuroibara whispered.
Kurama stared at him. "What am I doing…"
He was so hurt and dazed.
~*Until the Day I die (Until the Day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you*~
"I understand… you don't mean to do what you do… I know you don't… I'm alright…"
Kuroibara laughed. "You gave me a rose, remember that."
Kurama just stared.
~*Yeah I'd spill my heart!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!*~
Kurama walked over and took a seed from his hair. With all his heart, he started to cleanse and heal Kuroibara's wounds.
"What are you…"
"Shh."
~*My hands are around your throat
And I think that I hate you*~
"I was thinking… Kuroibara… if you really want to… put your hands around my neck…"
Kuroibara gasped. "What?!"
"I want to die… and I know you want me to… and you want to as well… let's strangle ourselves… is that okay?" Kurama was smiling brightly as he said this.
Kuroibara looked at him nervously. "That's as bad as suicide!"
"So?" Kurama smiled. "I can help you live again… and start over…"
He remembered his knowing of the Grim Reaper and the Prince of the Dead… with this he could help Kuroibara live a new life how he deserved… and he could rest in peace.
"Are… but… Shuichi, I…"
"Please?"
~*We make the same mistakes,
Just like Friends do*~
Kuroibara grabbed Kurama's neck. Kurama grabbed Kuroibara's.
"Come on… let's see who will die first…" Kurama smiled.
"Ja ne… daichi…" Kuroibara murmured as he started to squeeze.
Kurama did the same.
~*My hands are around your throat,
And I think that I hate you*~
Kurama felt some thrill by strangling Kuroibara. Kuroibara smiled as he started to pale.
Kurama laughed, but lost breath. He had a good grip.
~*We make the same mistakes,
Just like friends do*~
Kurama felt like he was blacking out. Kuroibara felt dazed.
They were losing it… how could a boy that was a fox in disguise and a boy who was preaching about life want to kill each other…?
Time…
Time ticked away at their insanity.
~*Until the Day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you*~
And that's what was scary. Kurama lost it before, and it just took another person similar to him for Kuroibara to do so. They were smiling as they were dying…
Kurama hit the floor with a smile on his face, though he knew he was not dead. But he definitely helped reunite someone… he could feel it… as he passed out…
~*Until the day I
die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!*~
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I know I am getting flames for this one. Basically, Kuroibara died… yeah… or is he not? Will he be reunited? And how will Kurama feel when he wakes up? What the hell am I doing?! Please review and find out!
Peace, Love, and Guys that look like Girls,
Gabbi: Queen of Kurama Torture
© 2002-4 G:QOKT, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!
PS: Frodo Lives!