Chapter 5

Telling him.

When they reached the house Hermione made him wait outside.

"Not gonna ditch me are you?" he'd said jokingly, but she heard the pain underneath.

"No. I won't be a minute". Once inside she got her wand and levitated everything remotely resembling Jamie upstairs. She decided a long time ago that if Harry ever found her then she would tell him, and here he was.

Ohmygod he's here.

She was started to panic slightly, but controlled herself by breathing. She was going to tell him. But properly and explain it all. He couldn't work it out for himself by seeing pictures-that's just not fair. He deserves the truth. I know, she said silently.

There was a knock on the front door – Hermione opened it and Harry looked a bit shocked.

"Er-I wasn't gonna-er- I didn't mean to-I just kind of- well did it..."

She smiled despite herself and was rewarded with another huge grin. She looked for a minute and felt all the loving, happy thoughts and feelings that she'd ever had burst out of her closed heart.

She never ever let herself think about him – about being with him, loving him, holding him, but all the lock-tight barriers she's placed around herself were quickly crashing down as she looked at him. He moved forward. GET A GRIP HERMIONE! YOU LEFT HIM. HE HATES YOU. HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW WHY AND HE DESERVES TO KNOW JAMIE MORE THAN YOU! She moved towards the couch and sat down. Tea appeared. Still they said nothing. Hermione took the biggest breath of her life and started-

"I know that you're here to find out why I left and I'll tell. You need to know what I did, I did for the best." She hadn't intended to look at him, but she had and now she couldn't look away –

"after you got rid of Voldermort, I knew that finally you would be able to live – to have the life he denied you for so many years. I know there were still death eaters..." she paused, sadly and forced herself to continue "...but we both knew they were no real threat to you or us." She stopped and did look away from Harry – his eyes were so full of pain for her, and she brushed the tears away furiously.

"Anyway... I was happy for you-for us- even when my parents... even when my parents were killed I knew that you would still be there- you were my rock like always-"

Harry couldn't actually believe what she was saying – he'd been so certain that she blamed him for her parent's death. He was so relieved and fighting not to hope that this might mean she would be willing to take him back and so he just listened as she carried on-

"-when we moved in to Grimmauld Place, despite the circumstances, I was really happy." She remembered for a moment and continued "But then something happened that I knew would change it all forever. I decided that it would affect your new life negatively – you wouldn't be able to do anything as you pleased, as you should have been able to, after all you'd been through and I couldn't rip that freedom away from you."

Harry was starting to feel a little scarred by now. It almost sounded – like maybe she was ill – and his heart broke at how pale she looked, his mind fearing the worst.

She looked at him again, and seeing the pain and confusion in his bright emerald eyes, she could bear it no longer.

"I-I decided to deal with it myself – away from you all, let you get on with it... you see Harry – I was pregnant."

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I really appreciate all the reviews – you've all been really kind! It's nice to know my story [although not all mine; see disclaimer] is actually being read! I'm trying to update regularly and I'm sorry the chapters are so short [which is why I'm trying to do 2 chapters at a time] but hopefully they'll get longer as the story progresses.

justin-4902 – I'm not sure I'd call this awesome but you inadvertently lit my day – thanks

ladybird2223 – they'll meet... bit more angst first I'm afraid... bear with me

kpxiceboi – sorry if it was confusing [– I wasn't sure myself that it was all that clear] and thanks for reviewing. To answer your question though, Mary is Hermione's friend from work, Euan is her husband and Jon is their son. Jamie is short for James.