Gabbi: O_O
Minna: *gasping*
Gabbi: WE DID IT! 100 REVIEWS!! THANK YOU! *glomps*
Minna: I don't know how she did it…
Ghosty and Demo- Could you really send me the file? Thanks so much if you could!
TheUnlovedOutcast- I take it you like this fic?
I have done sketches to Numb. When the fic is done, I will send to anyone who asks!
Allie- I don't find that weird… I listen to a lot of music that is loud to help me sleep…
Thank you! Thank you! *gives out roses and chocolate frogs*
BTW- Thanks for the positive input for using Unwell. I thought people were going to say "Don't use it! Not with Linkin Park!" but it seems people didn't mind! Thank you!
WARNING: This chapter gets really graphic… I hope you don't get scared… Kurama ain't so innocent…
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Numb: I Can't Feel You There
Chapter 10: Insanity, Unwell, matchbox 20
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~*All Day,
Staring at the ceiling making,
Friends with shadows on the wall*~Kurama awoke, wondering if he was still dreaming. But he couldn't have. Could he? He was so confused and hurt. He needed human contact, but didn't want it. He wanted to talk to someone, but he didn't want them to be real.
It must've been night again, for the shadows loomed over-head, the streetlight casting them like puppets. He watched them curl and bend, whirl and dance, around the white walls, the glowed with a threatening look. He laid there, his eyes just shifting with the shadows… he felt torn and useless… what was his purpose?
"I never did do anything worth while as a human… what did I ever do… I never saved anyone really… I was just there… no one will care if I go… oh Inari-sama… what did I do? Kuroibara is dead because of me… Hiei is dead because of me… they are gone forever, and I remain. I hate this… can't they kill me… can't they kill me…?"
~*All night,
Hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep,
Cuz tomorrow I might be good,
For something*~
'Go to sleep Kurama…' Youko whispered.
'No…' Kurama told himself. 'No. What good is waiting in my nightmares? Kuroibara burning in Hell, waiting for me to join…?'
He turned over. 'No sleep tonight…'
~*Hold on,
I could be heading for a,
Break down,
Like I lost my mind*~He stared at the walls again. "What is the point… what is the point of living… of trying to enjoy life… when all you will remember… is the pains of the people that got hurt because of you… what do you do? How will you survive?"
The questions floated away, not to be answered.
He felt himself cry, without warning. "Hah… so this is really how it feels to be alone…"
He got up and nearly tumbled. He ripped off the IV wires, just like before.
"Am I to meet that child again?" he laughed.
~*But I'm not crazy,
I'm just a little unwell,
I know,
Right now you can't tell,
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see,
A different side of me*~He opened it up. "Lookit that… it's a hospital… it's a hospital…"
He took out a rose from his hair, the red hair barely visible through his roots of his hair.
The rose was black, the lightest of red at the point that the pedals began. He laughed and yipped, "Rosewhip!"
He laughed as it became a whip and looked at a nurse. He took the nurse's head off. He thought he heard the nurse's head scream.
Someone turned their head. He lost his head, too.
Someone screamed. They lost their head.
Another tried to call someone on their cell phone. Good bye.
Kurama smiled wildly. "Doesn't matter now! No one will be alive for my own funeral!"
(A/N: You know I just saw the Doctor YYH episodes…)
"It's fine!" Kurama yelled. "This won't last long!"
~*I'm not crazy,
I'm just a little impaired,
I know,
Right now you don't care,
But soon enough you're gonna think of me,
And how I used to be*~
He felt like his legs were to give out, and they did. He fell to the ground, surrounded in a pool of someone else's blood. He laid there for an hour, until someone got help. The blood soon cooled… and it was just cold, seeping into his hospital gown. It just seeped in more and more… until it was red. He felt the dead body against his, the rosewhip long-since gone. He had no evidence against him… he was insane… and there was no proof of him doing anything… in fact, the people thought he too was dead… he looked it too… but he giggled when they shook him.
"My God…" an officer gasped. "I don't think that's his blood…!"
"This was a massacre! Sure, can you tell us who did this?"
Kurama looked up at them. He suddenly changed from insanity to fear. "N… no… I don't… get me out of here… please…"
~*See me,
Talking to myself in public,
And dodging glances on the train*~
"…We will… we will…"
"…Why didn't I just go and die…" Kurama asked himself, so silent, no one heard him.
~*I know,
I know that they've been talking 'bout me,
I can hear them whisper,
And it makes me think there must be something wrong*~
"…Do you think he is sane…?" an officer whispered.
"…I don't know… we was not too far from the mental wing… but he's hurt…" the other whispered back.
"Is this what our children have been degraded to? Prozac-popping?"
"I am afraid so…"
~*Out of all the hours,
Thinking,
Somehow,
I've lost my mind*~
"…What was I thinking when I decided to become human…" Kurama whispered again. "I have to get out of here… there has to be something that I thought of…"
He closed his eyes and reopened them. "There's got to be…"
~*But I'm not crazy,
I'm just a little unwell,
I know,
Right now you can't tell,
But stay awhile and soon you'll see,
A different side of me*~
Kurama was then moved to a different hospital. It was on the other side of the city. He woke up, being held.
"Who… who is doing this…"
"Shuichi!"
Shiori hugged her son tightly in her arms. "I was afraid you would never awake from your slumber…."
"What do you mean…?" Kurama begged, sleepily.
"You have been asleep. Shuichi, they are unsure of you now… Shuichi… tell me… did you murder all those people in the hospital?"
There were tears in her worn-out eyes. Her wrinkles laid out on her face like riverbeds, unstill, but all seeing. She waited for him to answer.
"…I… I didn't kill those people. That was not me…"
~*I'm not crazy,
I'm just a little impaired,
I know,
Right now you don't care,
But stay awhile,
And then you'll think of me,
And how I used to be*~
"That was not me…" Kurama said again, tears welling in his eyes. "It couldn't have been… Kassan… hold me now… hold me now…"
Shiori hugged him, rocking him back and forth. "It's okay, Shu-Chan… oh just hang on… we can get you help! You will get better! You will get better and never remember this!"
"…I don't want to… I want to remember this…"
"Well… then I guess that is okay, too… that is fine… just sleep… just lay down… and rest…"
Kurama closed his eyes. "No one can forget what I did…"
~*I've been talking in my sleep,
Pretty soon they'll come to get me*~
"…They're going to lock me up… just because I was stupid…"
"No… they won't…" Shiori said. "You won't go to some Nut House… you are a normal boy…"
"…No…"
~*I'm not crazy,
I'm just a little unwell,
I know,
Right now you can't tell,
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see,
A different side of me,
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired,
I know, right now you don't care,
But stay awhile and then you'll think of me,
And how I used to be*~
"No… I am not okay…"
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Dude… I feel like crap… I have a bad cold… please review. Reviews make me feel better. I feel so much like shit…
NEXT SONG: We can definitely hope for Godsmack, should the file work from Ghosty and Demo ^~^ (I can't smile cuz it hurts my face a lot…) and maybe another Linkin Park song… I so wanted to do My December, but it is April… and I have a lot of conflicting ideas cuz I can't think straight… my head hurts… see ya…
Peace, Love, and Guys that Look Like Girls,
Gabbi, Queen of Kurama Torture
Or
Shit-Feeling Girl