Hilo peoples! Welcome to chapter 11 for Numb! Over my little hiatus I got some hate mail. I'll tell those people indirectly that C-Kun and I laughed our heads off and we took a poll in my school... I am not a locust. But I am not going to waste my energy on hatemail like that. If you don't like the content, don't read it. I understand that there are some twisted topics in my work (Broken Toy is dawning on its anniversary) and I know I am not sane. But who cares!
Thank you sooo much to Kitsune Kurama, I love your lovemail. C-Kun and I liked it. So did Kuro-Chan and Momo-Chan and all of my daichi. We love all of our reviewers lots! You all rock our socks!
This chapter I found the perfect song for. Taking the last line from the last chapter, I am doing this one to a little song called "I'm not Okay (I Promise)" PLEASE LOOK UP MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!! THEY ARE MY FAVE BAND NEXT TO AFI! Woot! Go Davey and Gerrald! Woot Woot! Men with eyeshadow! Woot Woot! LOL
Note: I originally tried to write this chapter to Nine Inch Nail's "Head Like A Hole". You'd think NIN would be perfect, but it came out bad. I deleted the chapter, so mo "lost chapters" at the end of this story, okay?
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Numb: I Can't Feel You There
Chapter 11: Truth, My Chemical Romance, I'm Not Okay (I Promise)
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"You are okay, Shu-Kun! I... I promise!" Shiori swore to her son.
Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say
Kurama stared blankly, his emerald eyes seeming so much darker. He was dazed.
I never want to let you down, or have you go, it's better off this way
"Shuichi... I don't want you to leave me," Shiori explained, "I love you. I love you so much. I love you too much to have you go to some mental ward. You don't need to go there, you just have to be home."
Kurama stared at the covers on his bed. Home? Home? Where his room was ruined? Home? Where he shattered a window just to make himself feel better? Home? Where Hiei used to stop by and they'd waste away in the moonlight?
"...maybe it's better if I go..." he finally whispered.
"No! No, Shuichi, you can't! Oh my Shu-Kun! You can't leave me!" she pleaded.
"Kassan... there's a monster in me... Kassan..."
"Nonsense!" she gasped, "Nonsense, Shuichi!"
Kurama clutched the covers. "There... there is Kassan..." Tears fell. "There's a monster... there's a monster!"
For all the dirty looks,
The photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
"Kassan!" Kurama continued, "You must understand! I'm crazy! I'm crazy! I lost my mind! I'm not okay! I'm not okay! I swear! I swear!"
"Stop it," Shiori snapped, "Do you know what they do in those Nut Houses? They lock you up, you don't wear shoes, you don't wear colors or black. You sit in a white room and have people hovering over you wherever you go. They make sure you don't drown in the toilet and you don't choke on your food! Do you want that, Shuichi? Do you want that?"
"Kassan, stop it!" Kurama screamed, "Stop it! You're wearing me out with this feeling that I am normal, I never was normal! I never will be normal!"
He began to have swelling cases of sobs. "Do... do you know... what it's like... to live a lie?"
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not Okay)
"What are you talking about?" Shiori said, angrily.
"I am not supposed to be here... I was a theif... I was a theif..." he mumbled.
'Oh dear God, no... please... he can't be really crazy... Shiori thought. Please no...
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
"Kassan, just listen to me!" he screamed. "Kassan! I'm telling the truth!"
Shiori shook her head. She was giving in to everything that she said she wouldn't.
Her son... her perfect, perfect, son, was crazy.
So be a joke and look, another line without a hook, remember when we both shook for the last time TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK!
Kurama cried louder and he wailed. Shiori reacted the best way possible. She went over to Kurama and hugged him again. "Shh... shhh..."
Both were shaking, both were scared. Both were confused. They didn't know what to do.
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
A nurse came in, her wide eyes full of fear. She quickly turned and ran to the front desk.
"I think we need a doctor... no... a phycitrist here..."
Forget about the dirty looks,
The photographs your boyfriend took,
You say you read me like a book,
But the pages all are torn and frayed
Shiori blocked it all out. She stroaked Kurama's head. "Oh... oh God... why... why you... why you, Shuichi? I thought I knew all there was to know about you... but... but..."
She sobbed.
I'm okay...
I'm OKAY
I'm okay now
(I'm okay now)
But you really need to listen to me,
Because what I'm telling you is the truth,
I mean this, I'M OKAY
Trust me
Kurama sighed. Maybe if he pause it all here for one moment, he would be okay. He would really be okay with Shiori just holding him so gently. Nobody would be in this freeze frame besides themselves. That'd be okay.
I'm
not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not
o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
Yeah, that'd be okay... if Kurama wasn't so messed up.
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Finito for now! I hope you liked it alot and review me to make me feel better! Luvies!
Rock On!