Chapter 3 – The Final Confrontation

"Strong Mad, can you punch the door so Homestar can get out?" asked Marzipan, sweetly.

Strong Mad, for some pieces of paper for origami, punched a large hole in the door. Marzipan went through the hole and woke Homestar up in the bathroom.

"Oh Marzipan, I'm doomed," muttered Homestar.

"Yeah, what happened to your stuff?" asked Strong Bad.

"What?"

Then Homestar went to his living room and saw everything that was removable was taken away. Then he looked in his kitchen, room, and other rooms and saw they were empty of removable stuff.

"What happened here?" asked Homestar.

"Yeah, are you moving? I'll be happy to give you some moving gifts, like my, er... Gavin Food!" said Strong Bad.

"It was He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named!" exclaimed Homestar.

"Voldemort?" asked Strong Bad.

"No! The other one!"

"Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man?" asked Strong Bad.

It took ten buckets of ice cold water and three minutes of whistling from Coach Z's whistle to wake Homestar up.

"Well, I tell ya, I've norver seen you this scared at oll, except for that time when he was in my torm for the forst time," commented Coach Z as he and Homestar met in Coach Z's office, or locker room.

"Oh Coach Z, it's You-Know-Who!" said Homestar.

"Vordemort?" asked Coach Z.

'No! The other one!" cried Homestar, still horrified by Voldemort, for he was just reading Harry Potter (reading was Marzipan's idea to help Homestar be smarter).

"Bi... Ah, that! Marzipan told me about him! I knew it was him! I will make sure he won't slip through our fingers!" shouted Coach Z.

"What do we do? My stuff's stolen!" cried Homestar.

"We got to stand up to him. Bi... I mean that guy stole your stuff, so he'll stol your life. We've got to stand up to him!"

"How do we do that?"

"Well, we don't run for the score zone. You kiddn' me? You'd be clobbered!" explained Coach Z.

"Or killed," added in Homestar.

"You got to stick and move and zig zag to finally get rid of that guy!" explained Coach Z.

"Coach, that's what you say all the time!" cried out Homestar.

"But it always works!" answered Coach Z.

"No it doesn't! Marzipan slapped me when on her birthday for some reason, and you told me the same advice for the present! Strong Bad didn't like his Decemberween present, and you were the one who gave me advice on the present!"

"Don't just attack him! Use a strategy that will catch Bi... that guy off guard so you can capture him and bring him into corstody!"

"Uh, do you have any idea how to do that?" asked Homestar.

"I think I do, but it was for just in case Strong Bad managed to escape with all of those things he stole back when he escape from joil."

First, fliers were put up all over Free Country, USA. Fifteen minutes after they were put up, the wind decided to blow the fliers into the Poopsmith's pile of whatsit.

Be part of the new Homestarmy to get rid of

Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man!!!

You won't have to pay $5 this time, just join to help Homestar be sane again. Just come to Homestar's house to join the army. Army led by Coach Z.

Only two people joined: Strong Sad (who didn't have anything better to do, considering he couldn't go back to his house, for Strong Bad and Strong Mad threatened him that they'll pulverize him if he even blinked for the night), and Homsar (who didn't have a clue on what he was doing). So they went to Homestar's house, where Coach Z told them the plans to capture BDHM. Then they waited, while playing with Coach Z's Cheat Commando's Trading Cards.

"I've got a Gunhaver. I'll shoot you with a gun, for I'm Gunhaver, with a gun! And... How else is he awesome?" asked Homestar.

"I got Reinforcements! Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket fire!" said Coach Z.

"I've got Reynolds, can he do anything?" asked Strong Sad.

"Uh, no," answered Coach Z.

"Well, that sucks, as usual. You know, he and I are alike, we should be friends," complained Strong Sad.

"Strong Sad, Reynold's isn't real," said Coach Z to break Strong Sad's hopes for a friend.

"Well, this isn't new," commented Strong Sad.

"Me and my red ninja!" cried Homsar as he held up a Ripberger card.

Then Homsar threw it like a ninja star at someone. That someone wasn't Homestar, Coach Z, or even Strong Sad. It was Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man.

"It's Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man! I knew it he would come! Let's get into our battle porsitions!" ordered Coach Z.

However, Strong Sad and Homsar ran away from the house, afraid of being clobbered, or wanting to follow Strong Sad, respectively.

"Uh, Homestar?" asked Coach Z.

Homestar ran to his bathroom. Then Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man took Coach Z's medallion away. At that same time, thunder was heard, as well as creepy organ music, and a scream, and that was not from Marzipan, screaming over the lightning that nearly struch a tree.

"Give that medorrion back!" cried Coach Z.

Then BDHM punched Coach Z and ran off with the medallion. Suddenly, Coach Z turned to stone, for if Coach Z is left without his medallion, then he's nothing, like all Z's. The next day, Homestar got out of the bathroom and saw the stony Coach Z.

"No! Coach! I'm so sorry! I should have fought him!" cried Homestar. Then he picked up a spoon and Frank Bennetto from his kitchen.

"Let's go," said Homestar as he put an orange bowl on his head.

Then he walked into a wall, for the orange bowl obscured his vision.

Homestar and Frank Bennetto followed the footsteps made by BDHM while bumping into various objects. Homestar nearly bumped into the Poopsmith's pile of whatsit, and even heaven doesn't know if Homestar would have lived through that. Soon, it led to a familiar-looking house, but it didn't matter to Homestar. Whoever lived in that house could be or are victims of Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man. So he broke into the house by going through the front door. The first floor was empty, with a neat, old computer. Then he went downstairs.

"Oh man, he got Strong Bad!" exclaimed Homestar.

Then he ran around the basement (or in a circle around the couch), looking for Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man, when he bumped into Strong Sad's fat.

"Oh Strong Sad, what are you doing here, alive?" asked Homestar.

"Uh, what are you doing here, especially with that popcorn maker?" asked Strong Sad.

"Uh, looking for You-Know-Who," answered Homestar.

"I think Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man ran to our backyard," answered Strong Sad.

"AAAAAAAA! You said his name!" exclaimed Homestar as he fainted.

Homestar woke up, seeing the bright blue sky. Then he looked around, noticing that Frank was gone, again. But what caught his interest was that he saw his stolen stuff, like the TV, bed, and the rest of his stuff, and Coach Z's medallion. So he looked around and saw Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man and The Cheat.

"Oh no! You're going to kill The Cheat!" exclaimed Homestar.

"Uh no, he's my sidekick," answered BDHM unintentionally.

"What about Strong Bad?"

"Uh, I killed him," answered BDHM quickly.

"That's true enough. Onto my lines: Oh no, you killed three people! I'm going to capture you!" said Homestar as he ran to BDHM, having his spoon ready to whack, and closed his eyes as he ran.

He ran into a tree, knocking himself out.

"Man, Homestar just get stupider and stupider. How many times had he fainted in this story? Jeez, he's going to make a world record, or at least a Free Country, USA record. Come on The Cheat, let's go," ordered BDHM, when he saw somebody coming.

It was Pom Pom. First, he went to Homestar and woke him up.

"Hey Pom Pom, glad you came to see me die," said Homestar, wearily.

Then Pom Pom went to BDHM.

"No Pom Pom! He'll kill you!" cried Homestar.

Then Pom Pom bubbled about the movie's ending.

"I dunno, how did it end?" asked Homestar.

Pom Pom bubbled something.

"What? Biscuit, I mean, that guy was just an imagination, and those two people were mentally retarded?" asked Homestar.

Pom Pom bubbled again.

"But Pom Pom, the real Biscuit Dough Hands Man is right here! And I'm as sane as you are!" cried out Homestar.

Pom Pom bubbled, "No Homestar, I'm saner than you. The day we're as sane as each other, Strong Sad's the king of the world, as well as the coolest guy in the universe."

"That can happen, wight?" asked Homestar.

"No," answered and bubbled BDHM and Pom Pom.

"Then who's that?" asked Homestar, pointing his wooden spoon at Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man.

Then Pom Pom took BDHM's head off, revealing Strong Bad's head.

"Strong Bad! You took Strong Bad's head!" exclaimed Homestar.

"Uh, no," answered BDHM/Strong Bad, who didn't run away, for he doesn't really try to run away from crime.

Then Pom Pom took off the biscuit hands, revealing boxing gloves. Then Pom Pom took off BDHM's clothes, revealing he was Strong Bad all along. And that was when Bubs, carrying Coach Z's figure, came.

"Oh man! It's the Strong Bad! Again!" exclaimed Bubs as he put Coach Z's medallion on Coach Z, bringing him back to life.

"Once again, Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man slips through our fingers!" exclaimed Coach Z as he saw Strong Bad.

"Oh man! You sold me out! You sold me out! The Cheat, say they sold us out," ordered Strong Bad.

Then The Cheat held up a sign, saying, "What do you mean 'us'?" before dashing off. So Coach Z and Bubs put Strong Bad in his box prison.

Meanwhile, Homestar, Pom Pom, and Marzipan went to Marshmallow's Last Stand to celebrate Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man's defeat.

"See, I told you Biscuit-Dough-Hands-Man isn't real," said Marzipan as she ate her tofu-flavored marshmallow.

"I don't know what youw talking about, Mawzipan," said Homestar, who got his mispronunciations back.

Then they left. Pom Pom bubbled about what they're going to do next.

"Let's go to the wental tape stowe and went a scawy movie!" said Homestar.

"Uh, won't that scare you?" asked Marzipan.

"You kiddin' me? I'm a bwave, gwown up man!" reassured Homestar.

That night, the nightmares started all over again, this time, on The Man with the Huge Mouth. Meanwhile, Strong Bad was released from his prison, while having to do community service for a longer time. What happens next, you know what'll happen next, will you?

THE END