Pandora: Yay my first ficcie! Please be nice. I'm a long time reader first time writer.
Yami: Sad --
Pandora: I've just always want to say that hehe. Anyhow this ficcie is YxY. Meaning shounen-ai! You don't like then just leave but hey if you want to flame me I could always use criticism to better my writing. If you leave a review may Ra bless you. By the way my punctuation sux so forgive me.
Warnings: Shounen-ai. BoyxBoy. Nothing explicit just thoughts really and there is a little swearing. This fic will be angsty with a little romance between the lines. Now I don't like Anzu but I won't bash her....this time.
Yami: Get on with it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did...let's just say it wouldn't be a kiddies program anymore. Also I don't own Evanescence's song Solitude. Oh and if you think I ripped off someone else's fic by accident please tell me and I'll check it out. Wouldn't want to get in trouble now.
Solitude
Black skies coming over, bringing with them a somewhat depressing downpour of crystal rain. 16 year old Yugi Mouto sat on his bed looking out the window, his tri-coloured drooping ever so slightly and his wide amethyst eyes half lidded in boredom and maybe even sadness.
He occasionally threw a glance over at the tall, dark figure scurrying around the room looking for the right clothes. Yami. His darker and as Yugi put it 'better' half. The ancient spirit of the puzzle, Yugi's friend, guardian, idol and secret crush.
Aibou?
Yugi quickly snapped out of his thoughts and lifted his head to look up at his almost carbon copy. Only Yami had a few more blonde streaks in his hair, was taller and his eyes were a deep crimson colour, sharp and intimidating.
/Pardon Yami?/ Yugi asked, not bothering to hide boredom as it flooded through the mind link they shared.
I asked you what you think of my outfit. I told you I want to look good tonight for Anzu
How
many times have you told me you love her?
As many times as I
wanted to tell you the truth.
How long have I stood here beside
you?
I lived through you, you looked through me.
"Great Yami. You look...great," Yugi replied eyeing Yami carefully. His black boots, black leather pants, tight black top and his usual blue jacket. Yami smiled and carefully attached chains to his pants before wrapping studded bands around his wrists.
"Thank you aibou." Yami walked towards Yugi and sat beside him on the bed. "Is everything okay?" Yugi nodded slowly not even bothering to look at Yami. Yami sighed rubbed the side of his head in frustration. He was becoming increasingly worried for Yugi but how could you save those who just refused to be helped let alone saved.
Ooo,
Solitude
Still with me is only you
Ooo, Solitude
I can't
stay away from you
"I'll be home before midnight...I promise," Yami said softly. Once again Yugi chose to ignore his darker half. Yami stood up and crossed the room to the door. "Goodnight aibou."
Yugi watched Yami leave the room and continued to watch him out the window as he met with Anzu outside in the pouring rain. Yugi glared at her before reminding himself it wasn't her fault Yami was in love with her not him.
"At least Yami is happy," he whispered before wiping the salty tears that began to creep down his pale face. As he did, the sleeve of his black sweater was pushed up revealing several scars along his arm. Some pale from many months ago, some still crimson from just recently.
How
many times have I done this to myself?
How long will it take
before I see?
When will this hole in my heart be mended?
Who
now is left alone but me?
Yugi had tried so hard to escape the pain from an unrequited love. He tried to ignore it but love was everywhere he looked. Ryou and Bakura, Seto and Jou, Malik and Marik...everywhere. He tried self-mutilation but the scars made him feel ugly and eventually he realised that cutting himself solved nothing and it didn't help his pain. He finally resorted to an imaginary world he created in his mind where everything was bliss and he could forever be alone. Unfortunately thoughts of Yami invaded his world and it turned into a world of hatred and despair that Yugi found himself drowning in.
/I need to escape/
/I need to escape/
This thought crossed the mind link bringing with it a wave if anguish and pain. Deep pain that seemed in escapable. Yami dropped his ice-cream and began to panic.
"Oh Yami you dropped your ice-cream. Come on we'll get you another one," Anzu said brightly latching onto Yami's arm and tried to drag him along to no avail. "What's wrong with you?"
Ooo,
Solitude
Forever me and forever you
Ooo, Solitude
Only
you, Only true
Yami turned to her and felt the urge to be sick at what his doing to this poor girl. He was toying with her feelings to escape the feelings he had for another. He loved Yugi, he needed Yugi. The attraction was always there but his mind would never allow. He never could harm Yugi, he could never destroy his innocence.
"I have to go," he whispered. Ripping his arm away as gently as his current state of mind allow. Anzu stumbled back and looked at Yami in shock. "Yugi. I have to save Yugi...whether he wants to be saved or not!" Yami declared.
"Yugi's in trouble?!" Anzu exclaimed. Yami didn't know how to explain so instead he tore across the park towards the game shop.
Everyone
leaves me stranded,
forgotten, abandoned
left behind.
I
can't stay her another night
Yugi crossed the room to his desk and pulled out a elaborately decorated, golden box that shone brilliantly in the moonlight. He was all alone, slowly falling into darkness. He didn't want to fall into darkness.
Suddenly he felt a sudden rush of rage towards Yami for doing this to him. For abandoning him, for not protecting him, for letting the darkness crawl into his mind.
He tore the lid off the box to reveal the millennium puzzle, the glow it once held now dull, overshadowed by darkness. He picked it up roughly and raised it above his head. He needed escape the darkness by sending it back from where it came from. By destroying the puzzle.
Your secret admirer, who could it be?
AIBOU!Yami screamed through the mind link but was blocked. Suddenly he felt something in Yugi's mind he had never felt before. A feeling that was rapidly disappearing and being replaced with feelings of rage and hatred. A feeling Yami thought never existed within Yugi.
Can't
you see all along it was me?
How can you be so blind as to see
right through me?
Yugi loved him! Yugi truly and deeply loved him. A love that ran so deep it was painful. Yami realised why Yugi had been acting strange lately. It must have been pure torture, pure hell to feel such love and never have it returned.
But something was wrong. The love was fading and rage was building. Depression had taken control of little Yugi. Yami knew if he didn't act fast there would be dire consequences. Yugi's sanity was in shreds and it was all his fault. He had done this to his beautiful and once pure, angel.
Hang on Yugi. Please hang on for me
Yugi clenched his eyes shut and let out a strangled scream before bringing the millennium puzzle to the ground with as much force as he could muster.
It shattered. The puzzle not only broke, the pieces shattered. Yugi opened his eyes and looked around his room in horror as small fragments of the puzzle began to fade in darkness. The mind link between Yami and Hikari suddenly began weaker, a mere wisp of what it once was.
Yugi suddenly felt very sick at what he had done.
Solitude
Still with me is only you
Ooo, solitude
I can't stay away
from you
He
felt it. He felt the darkness gripping at him once more. The puzzle
was gone and soon he would be too. He gasped for air as he pushed the
game store door open. His form fading, he slowly made his way to the
stairs.
Yu...gi
Yami fell to one knee at the base of the stairs. Struggling to hold on to whatever little life he had left. He crawled to the top of stairs and along the passageway to Yugi's door. With the last of his energy he slumped against the door and whispered four words he had wanted to say for so long but his mind had held back.
Yugi sat there trembling for who knows how long. Seconds seemed like hours and the hands on his clock seemed to have come to a stop. Time itself had stopped. His world was crumbling beneath him and he hadn't the will to fight it. He wanted to escape darkness but instead he had let it have it's way with him and consume him.
He was slowly slipping into the shadows when a thump against his door brought him back to his senses. He spun around and listened to the laboured breathing coming from the other side of the door before slowly crawling towards it and slumping against it himself.
"I love you too," Yami whispered with one of his last remaining breaths. Yugi felt his heart twist and tears fall freely from his eyes. A sudden realisation freeing all the pain from within him.
"I think I knew it all along. I was just too blind to see it," Yugi said his mind and heart telling him things he needed to hear so long ago.
"Maybe it was just never meant to be." Yami said casually coughing for air, his wispy form fading faster and faster.
"In another time perhaps?" Yugi whispered trying not to choke on his tears. Yami smiled and nodded to no one in particular.
"I will find you again Yugi Mouto," Yami whispered before a suffocating silence swallowed everything.
Yugi let out a heart wrenching sob. Yami was gone. What had he done? He felt sick and cold inside. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to be hit, he wanted to feel pain, he wanted to be raped, he wanted to be cut, shot and hurt by whatever demon had possessed him to do such a thing.
Shadows rose out the ground and wrapped themselves around Yugi and slowly killed him. Slowly dragged him down into oblivion. The thing he feared most, the one thing he tried so hard to stop was happening and the strange thing about it was he wanted this...he needed this. He needed to feel this.
"In another time perhaps," Yugi whispered again before falling victim to the shadows to join Yami. "...love...you."
Solitude
Forever me and forever you
Ooo, Solitude
Only you, Only
true
END
Pandora: Well that was my first fic. Was it good? Was it bad? Or was it just plain ugly. Reviews would mean so much to me. Oh and sorry it's so angsty but I'm having a bit of a bad day so this is my form of stress relief I suppose.
Thankies if you took the time to read. It's much appreciated and if you could tell me about any errors that'd be really helpful.